Not-So-Clean Limerick

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who hated to clean…

Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Not-So-Clean Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who hated to clean
Was a bach’lor. (You know what I mean.)
His home was a wreck,
Filled with dust-covered dreck.
The mess was quite frankly obscene.

When he took a cute date to his place,
She fled, saying “What a disgrace!
I refuse to date pigs.
Get me out of these digs.
And my phone number? Kindly erase.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

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15 Responses to “Not-So-Clean Limerick”

  1. A fellow who hated to clean
    thought his city unfair and mean
    sending a steam shovel
    to clear out his hovel
    for dumpsites they’ll quarantine.

  2. Brion Emde says:

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Invented a cleaning machine
    On scales atomic
    It scrubbed with waves sonic
    Producing, in theory, a sheen

    Upon using this strange contraption
    He saw an unearthly reaction
    As atoms unbound
    And his stuff all unwound
    He survived, to end up in traction

    As he laid there in pain, he wondered
    How it was, such bonds he had sundered
    If I had just cleaned!
    Was the wisdom he gleaned
    He tried to remember, then wandered.

  3. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Was sloppy since he was a teen
    He was now 47
    And on his way to Heaven
    ’cause he ate something that had turned green.

    I opted not to be obscene
    when I wrote about this dirty teen
    I tried for more verses
    But found out that, curses,
    I couldn’t do more than Maxene.

  4. Joyce T. says:

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Was nevertheless very “green”
    Built his house very small
    Not much cleaning at all
    Maintains it in state ‘most pristine.

    (Jay Shafer of Tumbleweedhouses is the inspiration for this limerick.)

  5. Dr. Goose says:

    Said a fellow who hated to clean:
    “Against nature, I won’t intervene.”
    Like a bio-researcher,
    His apartment would nurture
    Bacteria not heretofore seen.

  6. A fellow who hated to clean
    Sprayed his whole place with Mr. Clean;
    As he slipped across the floor,
    He gargled with Listerine;
    And as he fell, for a measure more,
    He sprinkled liberally with OxyClean.

  7. madkane says:

    I’m enjoying Mr. Unclean’s sundry adventures. Thanks for your limericks, and please keep them coming.

  8. Carroll says:

    A young fellow who hated to clean
    Still liked his digs to have sheen
    So he hired a crew
    Who knew just what to do
    Now his pad is a sight to be seen

  9. Steve Vitoff says:

    mad and friends: here are four!!

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Wiped his furniture with vasoline
    Though his stuff stays quite gritty
    It always looks pretty
    On account of its lingering sheen

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Hit the town with a girl named Maureen
    When she came to his place
    It was such disgrace
    Ne’er again was Maureen to be seen

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Signed up with the mujahadeen
    But he was such a slob
    They fired him from his job
    For deviating so much from the mean

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Was enjoying a fresh tangerine
    On the floor he’d spit pits
    Giving his roommate fits
    Like an “Oscar and Felix” routine

  10. Swisstoons says:

    Quite The Charmer!

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Hadn’t bathed since he was a teen
    He loathed a hot shower
    Mention soap and he’d glower
    And his teeth! Oyyy! They were green!

  11. A fellow who hated to clean
    Was also unswervingly mean
    When he tortured a bug,
    parts stayed on the rug
    And even today may be seen.

    His bottles of soda and booze
    lay where pizza oil would ooze,
    And his dirty socks,
    His shorn greasy locks
    began irreparably to fuse.

    The mice in the mouse-traps were mol’y
    And roaches, at ease, could walk slowly.
    Then would he trap one
    And then he would scrap one:
    The man and the mess were unholy.

  12. madkane says:

    I see some more fun limericks came in when I was out of town. Nice job! Thanks!

  13. Lurker says:

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Got to ride a black limousine
    To be on the show “Hoarders”
    But he couldn’t stand orders,
    To banish his things for a scene

  14. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who hated to clean
    Hired pert maids who he commenced to screen
    But he didn’t know what
    To look out for, so ne’er caught
    Onto plans to relieve him of green…

  15. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    They crept in one late, rainy night
    When he woke: “Girls, you gave me a fright!
    You’re much noiser cleaning
    Than I recalled, but was meaning
    To introduce my new bulldog, Smite.”

    They glanced at each other, dismayed
    And resolved to return with some Raid
    But by now he’d caught on:
    Changed his lock! No more pawn
    To the maids: their plans made, thus waylaid.

    So the fellow sighed, “Well, I must marry:
    I suppose it’s between Gail and Sherry.
    But she must love to clean,
    This can clearly be seen!”
    Smite yawned, “Pity, there’s no Cleaning Fairy…”