Dear Boss, Where’s My Bonus?

The AIG bonus fiasco has been very enlightening. Giving incompetent employees huge bonuses, so they won’t resign? And with taxpayer cash yet? What a concept!

I think all of us who still have jobs should send our bosses a letter like this:

Dear Boss, Where’s My Bonus? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear boss, where’s my bonus and raise?
I expect lots of cash — no delays.
Though my work surely sucks,
I deserve all those bucks.
Ain’t it great that incompetence pays?

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7 Responses to “Dear Boss, Where’s My Bonus?”

  1. Here Here! As a former compensation designer in the insurance industry, it is completely beyond my comprehension how a corporation as large as AIG could be so incompetent as to design a variable pay program that would reward more incompetence. Where’s their balance scorecard approach? Even if these excutives were able to accomplish every other objective (and if they did they are benchmarking the wrong activities), if the company is insolvent, everyone looses. That’s how the game is played. “No money, no payouts.” Period.

    Obviously, No brains.

  2. montag says:

    We’re living in the aftermath of the Bush era and incompetence warrants reward. Besides the bonuses, we should be giving these AIG guys the Medal of Freedom also.

  3. terena says:

    ouch. that’s so true it hurts.

  4. Monkeybrain says:

    Those bonuses go to hundreds (close to a thousand) of people. The team responsible for the position AIG consists of about 20 people. Do we punich all? We are going down a very slippery slope here. The bill passed by congress is one of the dummest things it has done in many years, here’s why:

    1. A lot of these employees work outside the US. What are you going to do about that money? You’re punishing your citizens?

    2. There are contracts which you are violating (the word “bonus” is not really “discretionary” pay, but but signed in contrats in many instances). The reason the world hasn’t completely collapsed amid this crisis is because of trust: everyone has been doing their best to honor existing contracts, and trusts that everybody else is doing the same. The govt is messing that up.

    3. It affects banks that did not need the govenrnment’s help, but only took the money “for the greater good” so as not to stigmatize those who did take it. Why should they pay?

    4. If you tax the employees, then you’re basically taking money away from the banks that you are supposed to be helping. They would’ve been better off not giving the money away at all.

    5. It affects the other institutions much more than AIG, and, most importantly, it doesn’t affect Merryll… They paid their bonuses in 08.

    6. There are some VERY competent people working at AIG. What you have to understand is that it was the decisions of VERY FEW of them, that caused the mess.

    7. The european banks are now better positioned to take the best talent, and trust me, they will. This is the saddest part of all. First the H1-B visa legislation against banks, and now this. I’ve worked in finance, and it is a hard job. But somebody has to do it.

    I have come to the conclusion that the financial services industry is just being used as a scapegoat, given that they are visible and wealthy. I will tell you, right now, that there are reasons why the United States is the leader in this industry. The government is taking away these reasons, and the price to be paid down the line will be much greater.

    As an end, stop blaming somebody. It is the irresposible spending of millions of Americans that got us here in the first place. But you can’t unleash your anger against them, can you?

  5. madkane says:

    Thanks to everyone for their thoughtful comments.

  6. madkane says:

    Thanks Banquet Manager!