Happy New Year Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Since 2013 is almost here, I’m offering you an alternative: You may write a limerick related to new year’s resolutions, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best new year’s resolutions limerick.

And now, getting back to my regular Sunday challenge: It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was making a list…*


A woman was making a list…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Happy New Year Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was making a list
Of items he’d try to resist
In the upcoming year.
But he lost it, I fear:
Both the list and his will to desist.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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128 Responses to “Happy New Year Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Bob Kennedy says:

    The bossman was making a list
    Of employees at whom he was pissed
    Or of whom he was tired
    Any rate, they are fired.
    No Schindler, this guy; that’s the gist!

  2. Rich D says:

    The fat guy was checking his list
    of mommies that he’d gone and kissed
    and so Mr. Claus
    would often give pause
    at those where it led to a tryst

  3. Rich D says:

    A candidate looked at his list
    of issues that he’d have to twist
    He went to debate
    and tried not to state
    things that the media missed

  4. Rich D says:

    A fella created a list
    of odds and ends he might’ve missed
    he thought up in tandem
    things utterly random
    and so his jots thatted and thissed

  5. Jim Delaney says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of girls who had never been kissed.
    He repents of it still,
    For good kissing takes skill,
    And their lips were the mill to his grist.

  6. Sally Franz says:

    A gal was making a list
    of all the men she had dissed
    She wasn’t a prude
    Nor was she rude
    But her T-shirt read: cease and desist

  7. Hoot Gibson says:

    A pervert was lengthening his list
    Of every female he had thoroughly pissed.
    It was 10 feet long
    Of wine, women and song
    And his spouse was at the top….get the gist?

  8. Chris Papa says:

    A fellow was making a list,
    Of folks that “would never be missed,”
    His name was Ko-Ko,
    From “The Mikado”,
    Who spoiled Yum-Yum, Nanki-Poo tryst.

  9. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow was making a list
    of men that he thought Communist.
    It got in his head
    that Obama was red.
    With the Prez on TV he just hissed.

    But the fellow was a big dope.
    He let Fox “News” ruin his hope.
    Obama was blue.
    But there were “red” states too.
    He finally fled. Couldn’t cope.

  10. There’s a new actuarial list
    For some claims that will soon be dismissed
    In fact now we are told
    The disease “getting old”
    Is among those we know pre-exist

  11. I resolve to begin a new diet
    I’ve gained weight and I cannot deny it
    Now, this promise I fear
    I repeat every year
    Only this time I think I might try it

  12. A fellow was making Franz Liszt
    There’ve been rumors at least, of a tryst
    But Chopin was his rival
    And so this contrival
    Holds no proof the men even kissed

  13. A woman was making a list
    To try all the things she had missed
    Surfing, skateboarding,
    Sky-diving, rewarding
    Herself, she said, shaking her fist.

  14. John Larkin says:

    A woman was making a list
    of all the men she had kissed.
    But they had feet of clay
    and they all got away,
    which, of course left the woman quite pissed.

  15. Rich D says:

    The songbird was checking his list
    of songs that he knew must persist
    the tunes he could tweet
    all on one spreadsheet
    he saved it then went to play whist

  16. Rich D says:

    A fella was reading a list
    of things his doc said should be missed
    it wasn’t his fault
    that now table salt
    had become a season desist

  17. Gary Hallock says:

    I wrote myself out a long list
    One week after my merry Christ-
    Mas. Grand resolution
    Bad habits? Eschew! Shun!
    By Easter this list will be hist

  18. Jesse Levy says:

    Resolutions, they say, are the bunk.
    Resolving is only one chunk
    of whatever is needed
    for the thing to be heeded.
    (I just put myself in a funk)

  19. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An alcoholic was making a list
    Of the years resolutions he’d missed
    And vowed to adhere
    To them in New Year
    But while at it got thoroughly pissed.

  20. A fellow was making a list
    Of the favorite things that he missed
    When, without thinking
    He said he’d stop drinking –
    At the top was Canadian Mist.

  21. A lush sat making a list
    Of all the reasons to exist.
    She wrote quite a few,
    Then crossed out all but two –
    Wine. And love, when not too pissed.

  22. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman was making a list
    Of the Christmas card friends that she’d missed.
    Far too many. It seemed
    She’d apparently dreamed
    That she’d mailed them. They didn’t exist.

  23. kaykuala says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of conquests he had missed
    He tried to remember
    What had gone asunder
    If only he had not been a beast!


  24. brian miller says:

    a fellow was making a list
    of foods that he could resist
    trying in the new year
    he’d ingest without fear
    wihch was fine til he tried nettle fish

  25. Eugene Fedorov says:

    A lady was making a list
    Of men, to whom couldn’t resist.
    Although, I suppose,
    Excluding all those,
    By whom she has been only kissed.

  26. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was making a list,
    Of things they’d do after they kissed:
    Champagne then a bath.
    Now you do the math.
    I’m picturing one sexy tryst.

  27. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was making a list,
    Of women he’d fondled and kissed.
    Back in his day,
    He’d lead many astray.
    The stories of him still persist.

  28. Mark Kane says:

    The schooner was starting to list,
    As an island appeared through the mist.
    A nude beach in sight!
    What a naughty delight.
    A view all found hard to resist.

  29. This lad from the Emerald Isle’s
    Resolving his Lims may bring smiles
    So from me over here
    A big “HAPPYT NEW YEAR!”
    To all you great folk ‘cross the miles!

  30. Claudia says:

    no limerick from me today but many happy new year’s wishes…smiles

  31. Tim James says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of amorous acts for a tryst.
    His girlfriend, though hot,
    Said, “You wanna do WHAT?”
    He found himself quickly dis-missed.

  32. JulesPaige says:

    A woman was making a list
    To the spas, she couldn’t resist
    She’d escape the in-laws
    For pullin’ her last straws
    Instead of ballin’ an’ haulin’ her fist

    © JP/davh

  33. Craig says:

    Here’s one about the the Dallas team owner, for all my fellow Redskins fans today:

    Jerry Jones is compiling his list
    Of the Cowboys at whom he’s now pissed
    One shouldn’t make fun
    Now his season’s all done
    But with Jerry, it’s hard to resist.

  34. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow was making a list;
    However, his list had a twist:
    Instead of his aims,
    He inserted the names
    Of asses ‘twood have to be kissed.

  35. JazzBumpa says:

    Casanova was making a list
    Of lovely young maidens he’d missed
    Buxom blondes, lithe brunettes
    Dancing with castanets,
    But chose a redhead for his tryst.


  36. An old woman was making a list
    And she called to her mate to assist:
    “Where were we that year?
    Was it cloudy or clear?”
    “l’m too old! Can’t remember!” They kissed.

  37. colonialist says:

    A fellow was making a list,
    But not written in a firm fist,
    The list was to port –
    Drunk more port than he ought –
    And it was because he was pissed.

    A fellow was making a list
    Of things of the past that he missed,
    It grew so extensive
    That he waxed all pensive,
    And promptly slit open his wrist.

  38. Bob Dvorak says:

    For our Happy New Year! :

    May your New Year see plentiful bliss
    For it has to be better than this.
    Soon we all shall see if
    We’ve gone over the cliff,
    As we wait to explore the abyss.

  39. Pollo deGoma says:

    A chicken once peered at a list
    and suddenly he got the gist
    the recipe begs
    for chicken and eggs
    needless to say, he was pissed!

  40. Eugene Fedorov says:

    A young girl was making a list
    Of all those who has to be kissed
    On this New Year eve.
    And would you believe –
    No one from this list has been missed!

  41. Craig says:

    “I’ll grant any three wishes you list.
    You must first ‘rub my lamp’ – get my gist?”
    She did as he bid her
    Then he laughed “I’m a kidder,
    Did you really think genie’s exist?”

  42. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    As Santa was checking his list,
    He discovered a thing he had missed.
    “Financiers, as a whole,
    Should receive only coal,”
    Read the latest North Poll—folks are pissed!

  43. Craig says:

    The guests had been checked off the list.
    Vows were read, bride and groom had been kissed.
    Said the priest:  “With these kisses,
    I pronounce you a Mrs.
    As of now, you are hereby dis-Miss’d.”

  44. Diane Groothuis says:

    Wishing you all a Happy New Year
    With soda and pretzels and beer
    And my resolution
    A new Constitution
    So poverty no-one must fear.

  45. Diane Groothuis says:

    Dyslexic young girl made a list
    And she was a make-up artiste
    She listed her lippy
    Passed it on to a hippy
    Who then stored the list ‘tween her “tist”

  46. Johanna Richmond says:

    New Year’s Eve is a time to reflect
    On the things we would like to perfect,
    So I vow, here and now
    If my lim’ricks don’t wow,
    Then at least they will leave you erect.

  47. Eugene Fedorov says:

    A chemist was making a list
    Of SRM’s purchased from NIST
    And checked with God’s bless
    Them all by MS
    As expert mass-spectrometrist

    A Santa was making a list
    Of kids, who had not to be missed
    Thus small girls and boys
    Got plenty of toys
    From Santa who didn’t exist

  48. I spied a man making a list
    Of habits from which to desist;
    “Resolutions?” I wondered,
    “My new Kindle!” he thundered,
    ” ‘Confessions of A Hedonist’!”

  49. Diane Groothuis says:

    A backpacker making a list
    Of all the pitfalls on his piste
    Potholes on the right
    Keep others in sight
    And never go hiking while pissed.

  50. A woman was making a list
    of ways to encourage being kissed:
    Remember to smile,
    use words that beguile,
    and make sure that you never get pissed!

    (Australian definition of ‘pissed’, i.e. drunk.)

    A woman was making a list
    but she screwed it up in her fist.
    She decided, I fear,
    that in this New Year
    she was going to do just as she wished.

    A woman was making a list
    but one or two items were missed.
    She began the New Year
    a little bit freer
    than her conscience had meant to insist.

  51. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow was making a list
    When he became rather pissed
    He thought about the point
    Grabbed onto a certain joint
    And simple wore out his wrist

  52. John Sardo says:

    A woman was making a list
    Of men who joined in her tryst.
    They all were compliant
    Each a good client
    She had never an arm to twist.

  53. John Sardo says:

    A woman was making a list
    Of guys who she sorely missed
    She vowed to select
    Only those when erect
    She stood on her toes as she kissed.

  54. Kirk Miller says:

    I had wanted a brand new TV
    That is sharper and clearer to see.
    Technology’s solution,
    My new year’s resolution:
    Nineteen twenty by ten eighty — HD.

  55. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A Gay was making a list
    Of the times he’d been buggered and kissed
    Hoping there was a way
    To change the name Gay
    To that of love ANALyst.

  56. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An angry man made up a list
    Of gold diggers with whom he was pissed
    He turned into later
    A confirmed woman hater
    Who only makes love to his fist.

  57. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    In his mind our dog’s making a list
    Of the times in the house he has pissed
    Then out the door flew
    On the end of my shoe
    He’s hoping one day I’ll desist.

  58. Don says:

    A man who was making a New Year’s list
    while watching the Dick Clark show was miffed
    when the ball finally dropped
    and the hoopla stopped
    Jenny kissed the Navy and he could Sea Ryan was pissed

  59. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    I started to write out a list
    Of my body parts needing assist
    Of some drug or crutch
    And I listed so much
    That all that was left was my cyst.

  60. Don says:

    A fellow was making a list
    and with his broom gave a whisk
    it fell to the floor
    and floated out the door
    and the fellow forgot what he wished

  61. Don says:

    A fellow was making a list
    of bedroom passion and bliss
    said she to he, “You’d better rethink
    after what you’ve had to drink”
    so his sweet dreams ended up in a twist

  62. Don says:

    A fellow was making a list
    of bedroom passion and bliss
    said she to he,”You’d better rethink
    after what we’ve had to drink”
    and they both had to settle for a kiss

  63. Don says:

    A fellow was making a list
    and added a sly little twist
    said he to himself
    I’ll not put this on the shelf
    then I’ll see the dreams I’ve missed

  64. Don says:

    Making a list on New Year’s day
    said she to he in a casual way,
    “Why go to the botha
    just do what you otta
    cause the dues you’re not willing to pay”.

  65. Don says:

    A fellow was making a bucket list
    of to do’s before life he missed
    time was marching on
    and he wrote from midnight to dawn
    but fell asleep on what he’d wished

  66. Don says:

    A man was maling a list
    when his woman said, “I get the gist
    of what you are saying
    and I’l be praying
    that you’ll add my little twist’.

  67. Craig says:

    To Jamie, who made out a list
    Of the younger man’s joys that he’s missed:
    Maybe stop with the humor
    And see to that tumor –
    Simply put, you should cease and de-cyst.

  68. Craig says:

    It’s 2013, and I’m not
    Really one who looks backwards a lot
    If you feel Auld Lang Syne’d
    You will probably find
    Old acquaintance are best left forgot.

  69. brian miller says:

    a fellow was making (another) list
    one he hoped they would get the gist
    of blessing this year
    as the new came to bear
    on which, without you’d be remissed

    haha happy new year

  70. ALWAYS love your limericks…you’re the master

  71. Doug Harris says:

    2012 left your body abused –
    Cholesterol ridden and boozed.
    Can’t invent evolutions
    Of new resolutions?
    Use last year’s – still wrapped and un-used!

  72. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Peter Piper was making a list
    Of the women he’d like to have kissed.
    “Of all of these belles,
    Only she who sells shells
    Can tickle my tongue with a twist.”

  73. Mark Kane says:

    McCarthy, he claimed had a list,
    Of communists right in our midst.
    And though he would shout,
    In the end truth won out,
    And who history now has dismissed.

  74. Diane Groothuis says:

    The songbird was making a list
    Of tunes that he’d previously whist
    le, and he’d sing and he’d gloat
    Making noise from his throat
    Till the farmer came out with a pist (ol).

  75. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An angry man made up a list
    Of the words that made him a Misogynist
    Dramatist, Antagonist,
    Masochist, Psychoanalyst
    And last but not least Masturbationist.

  76. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An angry man made up a list
    Of gold diggers with whom he was pissed
    He turned into later
    A confirmed woman hater
    Who is known as a Misogynist

  77. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Said a doc, “At the top of my list—
    My greatest success, I insist—
    Was the time, with my knife,
    When I saved a young life
    By removing a man from a cyst.”

  78. Katie! says:

    :-) This was wonderful!! Limericks are crazy tough to write (at least for me), Great job!!

  79. Bob Dvorak says:

    New Year’s Day: Santa’s making a list
    For next Christmas. He couldn’t resist:
    In the column of “Nought”
    Goes the Congress that’s thought
    Doing nothing’s their grounds to exist.

  80. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The president eyed his kill list
    And said, “Take ’em out, General. Dismissed.”
    The officer thought,
    “At least now I’ve got
    A method to prove they exist.”

  81. Diane Groothuis says:

    To Bob Dvorak – Probably getting worse.
    It’s sad re the state of my brain
    I sure understand Sarah’s pain
    I’ll just have a wee drink
    And try hard to think
    Of a “list lim” to not break the chain.

  82. Tony says:

    An artist was making a list
    on his model – begun at her wrist,
    and despite her alarm
    at the top of her arm
    to continue he couldn’t resist.

  83. Tom Harris says:

    Old Santa was making his list,
    Although with a bit of a twist.
    Shunning girls who were nice,
    He picked naughty and vice,
    And hoped they’d agree to a tryst.

  84. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of the things he could do to subsist.
    Even after much thought,
    The result was still naught.
    The poor bastard soon ceased to exist.

  85. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of the things he would need for his tryst.
    He forgot the protection,
    But still plyed his erection,
    Which is why the gal’s menses was missed.

  86. She’s been making an ‘is it worthwhile’ list
    You’d expect nothing less from a nihilist
    But her “God is dead” quips
    Don’t encourage big tips
    Where she works as a high fashion stylist

  87. A woman was making a list
    Things to do ‘fore her son could be ‘brissed’
    Marinade London broil
    Buy some wine, call the Moyel
    And then pray no small thing will be missed

  88. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Thanks Bob Auler …

    Wallechinsky—in publishing list
    After list, after list—did persist
    With such gusto unmatched
    That you might say he hatched
    A whole new profession: listIST.

  89. Susan says:

    Happy New Year Limerick
    by Susan

    When she finished writing her list
    of things this year to resist
    she re-checked her spelling,
    thought, “Hey, that’s jelling!”
    and titled it “jokers exist.”

    Hehehe! Happy New Year!

  90. Susan says:

    Can I do two? If so, here I go:

    Happy New Year
    by Susan

    A woman was making her list
    of what she hoped would exist
    Peace and love were on top
    but so elusive she’d swap
    both for one certain tryst

  91. Sue Dulley says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of sins the next year to resist.
    The following day
    He tossed it away,
    Dismissed with a twist of the wrist.

  92. Sue Dulley says:

    A woman was making a list
    Of men that she should not have kissed
    And would not go near
    In the upcoming year
    Except, of course, during a tryst.

  93. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A lister is making a list
    Of diseases to cure in his midst
    When he hits halitosis:
    “I know what the dose is!”
    (As I mentioned, he’s Lister. You missed?)

  94. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    John Wayne started making a list
    Of the roles that he couldn’t resist:
    “If they give me some boots
    And a rifle that shoots,
    My career mill will have its True Grist.”

  95. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A poser was making a list
    Of distinctions on which he’d insist:
    “I write poems, not verse
    (Rhyme and rhythm, what’s worse?)
    And I am an ‘artiste’ not ‘artIST’.”

  96. Bill Klein says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of women with whom he’d like to tryst
    But he left it intact
    With no room to retract
    His wife found it, and she’s pretty pissed

  97. Bill Klein says:

    A woman was making a list
    When her husband said “cease and desist!
    Would it make me a felon
    To conk you with a melon?
    It’s honeydew that and honeydew this!”

  98. Diane Groothuis says:

    A madman was writing a list
    Of which nobody else got the gist
    He wrote it in code
    Which of course was a load
    Of rubbish that wouldn’t be missed.

  99. scott says:

    A fellow was making a list,
    another was shaking his fist,
    a third one was lying,
    the fourth one was crying.
    Folks, this ain’t no way to exist.

  100. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Perusing a long, bloody list
    Of crimes done by those who insist
    On having their way
    Compels me to say:
    The problem’s not -ISM but -IST.

  101. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A moron was making a list
    Of some ways he might free his poor fist.
    It was jammed in a jar
    Holding keys to his car.
    And so now, his arm ends at the wrist.

  102. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Upon further review of this list,
    My early conclusion’s dismissed:
    Black-and-white are their eyes
    And the gray evil lies,
    In truth, between -ISM and -IST.

  103. Sue Dulley says:

    An old guy was making a list
    (until he got cramps in his wrist)
    Of ‘sports’ he enjoyed
    But ought to avoid
    Like wrestling and dancing the Twist.

  104. Diane Groothuis says:

    The temperature’s up to the skies
    I’m bothered by insects and flies
    Am trying to harden
    And work on the garden
    But I fear I shall need a few tries.

  105. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A Squaw added names to her list
    For the babe she would have from a tryst
    Crazy Horse, Mustang Bucking,
    Yellow Moon, Two Dogs Fucking
    Thought again and the last name dismissed

  106. Carolyn Henly says:

    The sailor amended his list:
    “Aye’ll be swiggin’ s’much port as I list!”
    Spake his pal, with a snort,
    “If ye snort that much port
    “ ‘Twill be port into port that ye’ll list!”

  107. Johanna Richmond says:

    A mother was making a list.
    The title was “Cease and Desist
    Using all these bad words,”
    Then: “Got that, little turds?”
    The irony, sadly, was missed.

  108. Johanna Richmond says:

    Like a ship, she was starting to list
    Half in shadow and half heaven-kissed.
    Did her diet slim one
    Unaccompanied bun?
    Or is that just one hell of a cyst?

  109. Diane Groothuis says:

    St Peter was making a l;ist
    Of Sinners who had to be pissed
    To that place down below
    Where the red embers glow
    On a spot where no angel has kissed.

  110. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A Sperm was making a list
    Of the times he and pals get pissed—-
    –off after fucking
    And then get a ducking
    When the John’s flushed by somebody’s fist

  111. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An old man was making a list
    Of the times in his life he had missed—
    –out on his chance
    To get in a girl’s pants
    Cause he never could quite get the gist.

  112. Tom Harris says:

    The doctor was making a list
    Of things from which he’d desist.
    It wasn’t his duty
    To slice folks for beauty,
    But, yes, he’d still do a decyst.

  113. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An Indian boy on reading Mum’s list
    Of her kid’s names, was thoroughly pissed
    For instead of Horse Bucking
    He was named Two Dogs Fucking
    Which Comedians now use with a twist.

  114. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A Wanker made a New Year list
    Of the pleasures he’ll have with his fist
    Marking dates all down pat
    And making sure that
    Palm Sunday is not to be missed.

  115. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of all of the women he’d kissed
    And fondled and groped
    And also had hoped
    To… okay, now you get the gist.

  116. Dr. Goose says:

    Some children were making a list
    Of toys that were not to be missed.
    They mailed it to Claus,
    Expressly because
    It could prove whether he did exist.

  117. Dr. Goose says:

    A professor has published a list
    Of 10 principles he would insist
    Innately unite
    The left and the right
    In the field of the economist.

    Here is the list of 10 economic principles.

  118. Dr. Goose says:

    A cruise ship was starting to list
    On a reef, as the hull groaned and hissed.
    Their Captain Schettino,
    By everything we know,
    Rowed off in the murk and the mist.

  119. Dr. Goose says:

    My manager made up a list
    Of the faux pas that got me dismissed:
    “It’s most indiscreet
    To ‘sh*t where you eat,’
    And also to ‘drink where you pissed.'”

  120. Dr. Goose says:

    Congressmen made up a list
    Of tax breaks that had to persist:
    “It’d be a shame if,
    While avoiding the cliff,
    We leave out the poor lobbyist.”

  121. Mike Miller says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of folks he might punch with his fist.
    But a man so rapacious
    For all things pugnacious
    Will not very often get kissed!

  122. rbasler says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of the taverns where he’d gotten pissed
    He put extra stars
    Beside some of the bars,
    Where he’d gone to the men’s room and missed…

  123. Charley Simmons says:

    A fellow was making a list
    Of all the girls he had kissed
    He counted to ten
    Realized some were men
    Cross-dressers he couldn’t resist.

  124. Rachael says:

    My alternate entry:
    Every year a man made it his goal
    To see his team win the big Bowl,
    He’d be ever so cross
    when they suffered a loss
    And would take weeks just to console.

    My list entry:
    A woman was making a list
    of reasons to avoid slitting a wrist,
    or sitting on the edge
    of a high window ledge,
    and realized her point might be missed.

  125. Charley Simmons says:

    A violinist was making a list
    Of ladies with whom he did tryst
    He’d perform Kama Sutra
    While he played a sonata
    No patroness of arts could resist.

  126. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    On checking their Back Scuttle list
    The Irish gays wiped those they’ve kissed
    New Year, more depravity
    Ben Doon & Phil McCavity
    Are now adding Knob Jockeys they missed.

  127. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A virginal old maid wrote a list
    “I’m a hundred and never been kissed”
    So expect it would take
    A crowbar to break
    Her Hymen before any tryst.

  128. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for a great week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winners, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 95.

    But don’t worry! You still can have lots of limerick fun because new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Claim.