Limerick Scene (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was making a scene…*

or

A fellow who liked being seen…*

or

A woman was making the scene…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Scene
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was making a scene,
Shouting phrases obscene and quite mean,
At a wedding, alas—
His own! Horse’s ass!
That groom’s surely losing his sheen.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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58 Responses to “Limerick Scene (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now Kermit was making a scene
    Cause Miss Piggy was seeing Chuck Sheen
    And the froggies round town
    Were such boring brown
    So you see it ain’t easy bein’ green,

  2. rbasler says:

    A fellow was making the scene
    With a woman named Ms. Paula Deen
    She was loud, she was brash
    It turned out she was trash
    In the end, he felt fairly unclean

  3. John Sardo says:

    A woman was making the scene
    In a sailor’s bawdy canteen.
    She worked up a big thirst
    Then said who’ll be first
    To buy me a drink, I’m eighteen.

  4. John Sardo says:

    A fellow who liked to be seen
    In a mirror would primp, fuss and preen.
    To the ladies shocked sight.
    His hair was a fright.
    He looked like Marie the French queen.

  5. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was making a scene
    About water containing benzene
    It came from Elk River
    Polluted his liver
    And turned his poor spleen a blue green.

  6. Fred Bortz says:

    The Invisible Man made a scene
    When invited to visit the Queen.
    His fearfulness looming,
    He took pains with his grooming,
    Though all she would see was a sheen.

  7. Kirk Miller says:

    It is hard, as I’m sure you have seen,
    To decipher and know what words mean.
    There’s a word that I know
    Which means “hide,” also “show,”
    Contradictory meanings of “screen.”

  8. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was making the scene..
    Sheer, skimpy clothes were her mien-
    The cops mistook her
    For being a hooker,
    She got arrested for being obscene.

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was making a scene:
    The Red Bull had too much caffeine.
    She bounced off the walls,
    While making cat-calls.
    It was quite a sight to be seen.

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was making the scene
    Of chapels, including Sistine.
    “It’s too high, I can’t see,
    And I paid a big fee!”
    That she should have foreseen.

  11. Sallie McKenna says:

    A woman was making the scene,
    hoping so to be hailed a pop queen;
    she would elbow on stage,
    incite restless outrage,
    get booed-off in taunts most saline.

    A fellow who liked to be seen,
    had unfortunate teeth like baleen;
    when he smiled at the girlies,
    they shrank from his pearlies,
    assuming his lack of hygiene.

    A fellow was making a scene,
    high hopping on his trampoline;
    the problem was dealing,
    with a very low ceiling,
    plaster cracked, his KO foreseen.

  12. scott says:

    A fellow was making a scene,
    His girl said “I swear I am clean.
    And you have to believe,
    This new Summer’s Eve,
    Fragrance is really Sardine.”

  13. errol nimbly says:

    A New Yorker was making a scene
    While in London to visit the Queen.
    It had been overlooked
    That he’d been double booked–
    Superbowl is where he should have been.

  14. maryjean Shaffer says:

    A new girl arrived on the scene
    On Super Bowl Sunday she screamed
    Boo Broncos, Screw Hawks
    At Football she balks
    The Clydesdales were clearly her Team

  15. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now Jack Spratt was making a scene
    Cause his Missus was eating no lean
    So he “cut sick” one day
    And cut off her pay
    And she said “Jack you’re so jolly mean”.

  16. Wes Vogler says:

    A fellow was making a scene
    At the Super Bowl, venting his spleen.
    The Seahawks were flying,
    The Broncos were dying,
    Not the way it was sposed to have been.

  17. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    A teen girl we know made a scene
    (the imitable drama queen)
    We don’t know what occurred
    ‘Cause her vocab was blurred
    With “whatevers!” “Likes…” and “&*$#!s” (Obscene)

  18. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow was recently seen
    on the painted lines in between
    the I-5′s two lanes
    and his great stomach pains
    made his poop emerge highway sign green!

  19. Diane Groothuis says:

    To Jesse:
    That fellow so recently seen
    On the highway (which he painted green)
    Was heard to say “F%%K”
    When along came a truck
    And embellished a quite murky scene.

  20. Kirk Miller says:

    Film director is shooting some scenes
    Of a scientist altering genes.
    Calvin Klein paid him well
    For his work. Now they sell
    His invention: designer genes.

  21. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Said a Gay just new on the scene
    Mixed marriage these days is obscene
    I would rather instead
    Spend the time in my bed
    With the backsides of Tom, Dick and Dean.

  22. Byron Ives says:

    The mistrustful wife made a scene
    She grabbed hubby’s crotch unforeseen
    “Now you’ve put your schlong”
    “Where it doesn’t belong”
    “And now I will make you come clean”

  23. errol nimbly says:

    A young hopeful was shooting a scene
    With a veteran porn movie queen.
    He passed the audition
    In every position–
    Coming places where he’d never been.

  24. kaykuala says:

    A woman was making the scene
    Had not professed to be forgiving
    Lashed out on those
    Who dared to oppose
    But a soft spot for one timid being

    Hank

  25. P Diane Schneider says:

    A Seahawk was making the scene
    At the Superbowl he’d never been
    And he was riled up
    And said we’re gonna Whup
    That rascally proud Bronco team

  26. Oh, they bicker! True grammarist scene—
    Out of six, only one intact spleen!
    As they verbally maul
    The poor word “overhaul,”
    Fearsome sound! First career, then careen!

  27. errol nimbly says:

    Asked a porn star while filming a scene
    With some Hobbits in suits of moss green,
    “Can one buy hairy dildos?
    Cause there’s no dick like Bilbo’s–
    Shampooed and brushed out as it’s been.”

  28. brian miller says:

    a fellow was making a scene
    trying to limerick with gleen
    he cant count a lick
    those syllables slick
    out his ear did pour steam

    ha

  29. errol nimbly says:

    Said a porn star while filming a scene
    With two Hobbits betwixt and between,
    “I do dig dicks and dildos
    All hairy like Bilbo’s–
    Shampooed and brushed out and dyed green.”

    *Mad: Hobbit rewrite. “been” was a poor rhyme. thx.

  30. colonialist says:

    A fellow was being obscene –
    His humour was from the latrine:
    Those sent round the bend
    Made it come to an end
    When flushed with success he had been.

  31. colonialist says:

    Kirk Miller’s one would be great if ‘designer-type genes’ had been used?

  32. A fellow was making a scene,
    When partaking of nouvelle cuisine.
    “The portions are so small
    They’re not there at all,
    You can’t even see where they’ve been.”

  33. Tim James says:

    A fellow had made quite a scene
    In the bath with his girlfriend Nadine.
    After hot, soapy thrashing
    Away he was dashing.
    He dumped her, and got away clean.

  34. Brian Allgar says:

    When the doctor appeared on the scene,
    The patient had turned a bright green.
    Said the doc to his wife,
    “I’m afraid it’s for life,
    But he’ll still be a great human bean.”

  35. Brian Allgar says:

    The Poet was making a scene:
    “There’s a corpse in my best Hippocrene!
    What lunatic swine
    Could have drowned in my wine?”
    Grumbled Keats, “He’s a true Gadarene!”

  36. Byron Ives says:

    The TSA agent on scene
    Was ogling the xray machine:
    Saw a ring in her nose
    Some bling on her toes
    And two bouncy gems in between

  37. Tim James says:

    A woman was filming a scene
    With a battery-powered machine.
    And although good vibrations
    Can give excitations,
    That’s *not* what those song lyrics mean.

  38. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Old Steptoe in one movie scene
    Had dentures a foul shade of green
    Seems when drunk had to spew
    Lost his teeth down the loo
    And found these in the latrine

  39. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A blonde in the usual dumb scene
    Requested her bath filled with cream
    Said the milkman, surprised,
    “Do you want it pasteurised ?”
    She said,”Just to my jugs would be keen.”

  40. maryjean Shaffer says:

    Big Loser arrived on the Scene
    Taking Jillians pills of caffeine
    They Called her a “COW”
    But seeing her now
    They”re Outraged The Heifer’s so Lean

  41. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fellow who recently scene
    With his head in a public latrine
    Said “I know I don’t oughta
    Drink this sorta water
    But the coffee’s like Camels urine”

  42. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    To Confession he arrived on the scene
    Admitting shagging of twins 16
    But the Priest said, “If you,
    State address of these two
    We’ll forget that here you’ve been

  43. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    He was making Porn Movie scenes
    Involving nude models and queens
    This continual exposure
    Upset his composure
    Resulting in many wet dreams

  44. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A fat lady was making a scene
    With curses and language obscene
    Then with one final flip
    She did up her zip
    But twas then jeans burst at a seam.

  45. Byron Ives says:

    Pauline had been making the scene
    About which her Sis wasn’t keen:
    “You take any chump”
    “And upon you they jump”
    “It’s like you’re a tramp, Pauline”

  46. Kirk Miller says:

    “The funniest thing that I’ve seen,”
    Said a poultry producer named Gene,
    “Was one night on the farm,
    We received false alarm;
    Fox in henhouse cried wolf, caused a scene.”

  47. The diners were making a scene
    ‘Bout a fly in their fish soup tureen.
    I can understand why:
    It’s a Bluebottle fly,
    And with fish soup, you always serve Green.

  48. Byron Ives says:

    Joaquin had trashed the bar scene
    Whiskey had turned the man mean
    Said his wife: “In the car!”
    “You’ve pissed off this bar!”
    “It’s best if you’re not seen Joaquin”

  49. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A Monument-al Error

    George, are you C-looney?! I’ve seen
    Your star-cast disaster, obscene :(
    Song, banter: waste! Jarring,
    W”arT”wo-lite – quite marring
    The promise of what could have been.

    Cate Blanchett, “Men” ‘s one saving grace
    Lent much needed gravitas. Face
    It, that time was no picnic;
    In future, you might stick
    To acting, a suitable place.

  50. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A Whirling Dervish arrived on the scene
    And began to spin and careen
    But whirled round so fast
    Vanished up his own arse
    Never again to be seen.

  51. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    When Goldilocks arrived on the scene
    Father Bear in his eye had a gleam
    Mother Bear warned and said,
    “Touch that blonde and your dead.”
    So confined himself to a wet dream.”

  52. Kirk Miller says:

    At the airport, a pat-down is seen.
    The procedure is good, not obscene.
    TSA handles folks
    With kid gloves, so one jokes
    That the pat-down’s a real touching scene.

  53. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman was making a scene
    For a film of two jacks and a queen.
    The two she beguiled
    Blathered on rather wild
    In debate on betwixt and between.

  54. John Armstrong says:

    Alfred Hitchcock framed many a scene
    And in his movies you’d spot his old bean
    The tension is immense
    With no room for coincidence
    For the stars of the old silver screen

  55. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An old Hooker was recalling the scene
    When young and she was nineteen
    Walking the streets
    Doing kinks and deadbeats
    And her first head job on a Dean.

  56. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young Preacher new on the scene
    Was shagging the wife of the Dean
    She said later, “Your hot,
    And seven times is a lot
    But the Vicar’s record is thirteen

  57. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 151.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Frayed Limerick.

  58. The Athenian dramatist’s scene
    Brought a god from an onstage machine.
    But — it pains me to say it — he
    Hired the wrong deity,
    And Vishnu just won’t intervene.