Limerick of the Week (150)
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A baker went into the red
When his payroll costs came to a head:
“I pay Dad and my brother,
Three aunts and my mother!”
It seems his whole fam’ly’s inbread.
Congratulations to Fred Bortz, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
My limerick turned my face red
As lascivious thoughts filled my head.
I’m sure you’d be fonder
Of my double entendre
If I dared to reveal what it said.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Johanna Richmond, Michael Moulton, Robert Schechter, Jim Delaney, Tim James, Sallie McKenna, and Jane Shelton Hoffman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
A newspaper article read:
In his home, a cartoonist found dead.
Cops will try to find out
How his death came about.
All the details are sketchy, they said.
My computer was sure it had read
The prime booty for which my heart bled.
So to prove that thing wrong
I spent days searching “thong,”
Then bought white cotton panties instead.
A chicken with plumage bright red
Tried to charm all the hens in a shed.
He said, “I’m a great cock.”
But the rest of the flock
Saw that he was a capon and fled.
Most poets write “Roses are red,”
But I started my love poem instead
“A rose is chartreuse,”
Which is why, I deduce,
I never did get her in bed.
A gal who was very well-read
Tried to tempt a young man to her bed.
But such culture can do less
When Emma is Clueless,
And boys watch the movie instead.
A woman was very well-read
And her topic of choice was sex ed.
“Dr. Kinsey’s her guide,”
Beamed her man, grinning wide.
“She just Masters my Johnson,” he said.
Old fashioned, she always wore red,
Said it kept her from being well bred;
With Tom, Dick, or Harry
The red kept her chary.
Her “stop” won’t go “green” till she’s wed!
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
The canvass was totally red.
“It’s genius!” the art critic said.
How could we agree
When all we could see
Looked the same when we stood on our head?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Fred Bortz, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jim Delaney, Johanna Richmond, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mike Moulton, Robert Schechter, Sallie McKenna, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest