Welcome to the outdoor activity humor section of my site. I should probably start by saying that I'm a physical coward, I was terrible at all sports, and I used to hide in gym class. And that probably explains my humor about pocket bike riding, tubing, mountain climbing, etc.

• Ride A Pocket Bike? Who? Me?
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  Is it safe to ride a pocket bike
  For adults, teens, or even tykes?
  Some say they're cool and fun to ride.
  But me? I'll stick to taking hikes.

• Motor Boating Just Isn't Our Speed "My husband Mark and I were never meant to own a motor boat. Why not? Any couple who can’t figure out how to open their car hood, should probably stick to something propelled by oars. ..."

• Not Tickled Pink About Girlish Pink Guns "I wish I were making this up but, alas, I’m not — pink guns for girls. ..."

• Toying With Kites (Limerick)
  "The sight of a kite in the sky
  Is delightful and lovely, so why ..."

• A Horse Of A Different Color (Limerick)
  "There are folks who succumb to a weakness
  For races like Belmont and Preakness. ..."

• Ode to The Segway Scooter
  "The maker of scooters called Segway
  Has recalled them from road, walk, and hedgeway..."

• Sparring Over Spare Time "Do you and your spouse argue about how to spend your spare time? Togetherness can be tough to achieve when a couple's interests just don't jibe. But this contract may be just the cure for your spare time blues..."

• Tubing Blues "Tubing - the masochistic act of hurtling down a fall-fraught river while clinging to an inner-tube. Somehow my husband Mark talked me, a devout wimp, into trying it..."

• Yard Yarns (Limerick and Haiku)
  "I admit that I’m bad with a rake,
  And disposing of leaves makes me quake. ..."

• Healthy, Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
  "My spouse likes to lie in the sun,
  Absorbing those rays just for fun. ..."

• Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits ("As a result of a neighbor’s lawsuit, a Swedish woman can no longer smoke in most of her garden. (And you thought the United States was a litigious country.) ..."

• I'm Not Bowled Over By Bowling "The last time I went bowling, I aimed my ball so badly, it went flying diagonally and landed in a neighboring lane. (On the other hand, I’m not half-bad at Wii-Bowling.) ..."

• Bugged By Mosquitos (Limerick)
  “Mosquitos are driving me mad.
  Seems a zillion are biting me—bad! ..."

• Ode To Ambling (Limerick)
  "Deserting my day-to-day scramble
  When the weather is nice, I will amble ..."

• Taking A Vacation on the Contract Plan "Planning a vacation can often be a daunting challenge. Especially when one spouse likes to rough it and the other prefers luxuries like toilets, showers, and cable TV. So what's a couple to do? Well, they can take separate trips. Or they can negotiate and sign on the dotted line..."

• Surmounting Marriage "Before agreeing to marry my husband Mark, I asked him the usual questions:
  
  1. Do you know what a hamper is and have you ever actually used one?
  2. Do you spend weekends sprawled in front of a sports-spewing screen, devouring couch potato chips?
  3. Are your parents likely to drive me to drink?

  Mark told the appropriate fibs, I pretended to believe him, and several months later we wed. But soon after the wedding, I realized I'd forgotten to ask the most important question of all: When you see a mountain, do you get an irresistible urge to do something stupid? ...."

• Fishing For Accomplishments

(For humor organized by subject matter, I hope you'll visit my humor sections about politics, the law, media, marriage and family, holidays, technology, feminism, money, cars, education, health, pets and animals, work, travel, my home town -- New York City, and my Notables Weblog.)

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