Archive for the ‘Food & Drink Humor’ Category
Friday, January 11th, 2013
Every time CES rolls around, we’re bombarded with another slew of silly inventions. And CES 2013 is no exception.
I’ve already versified about the Smarter Socks app for hard-to-sort socks. But today I found an even more ridiculous invention: The WineRack Bra:
Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends!
Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks.
We developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Drea, who is NOT, no offense Drea, Well Endowed. Sporting the Winerack and Voila’ Drea’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money.
Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash!
With simple blow into the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.
This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?
Yet Another Invention For Boobs (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s another demented invention:
A bra to enhance each dimension
Of your breasts using wine.
Sip your bra while you dine?
Both sexy and oh so thirst quenchin’.
(In case you missed it many years ago, here are my Wonderbra Song Parody lyrics, which you could sing to “Miracle of Miracles” from “Fiddler on the Roof”.)
Tags: Boobs, Bra Humor, Brassieres, Breasts Humor, CES, Clothing Poem, Consumer Electronics Show, Fashion Verse, Food Humor, Food Verse, Inventions Poem, Odd Inventions, Physical Appearance, Underwear Humor, Wine Humor, Women's Fashion
Posted in Fashion Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Trends, Physical Appearance | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, January 9th, 2013
The 9-1-1 emergency number has become so common, you’d think people would know when (and when not) to use it. But apparently not.
The emergency number is meant
For a notably urgent event.
So don’t call 9-1-1
When your steak’s overdone,
You’ve lost keys, or to vent about rent.
(Using 911 to report a lion sighting in Virginia is probably okay … even if it turns out to be just a labradoodle groomed to look like a lion.)
(The first U.S. 9-1-1 call was made on February 16, 1968.)
Tags: 911 Calls, Animal & Pet Humor, Cops & Police, Crime & Punishment Humor, Emergency Calls, Emergency Line Limerick, Food Verse, Hamster Humor, Labradoodle Humor, Lion Humor, Pizza Humor, Policeman Verse, Telephone Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Telephone Humor | Comments Off on How NOT To Use 9-1-1 (Limerick)
Sunday, December 23rd, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was sipping some port…*
or
A woman was sipping some port…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Port
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A tall lawyer was sipping some port,
While doing some prep work for court.
He drank more than he should have.
Too bad, cuz he could have
Prevailed, but instead came up short.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Drinking Limerick, Law Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Liquor Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Port, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 95 Comments »
Thursday, December 13th, 2012
I was asked to read several limericks at the third annual Los Angeles Limerick Fest Wednesday night, held at the Altadena Ale House. Since I live in New York City, arrangements were made for me to read them via phone.
As you can tell from this limerick, my reading went awry:
When Readings Go From Verse To Worse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Reading limerick verse from afar
Via phone to a mike in a bar
Is a risky affair:
Noise and feedback will blare.
Pass the sidecar. I’m still below par.
Tags: Bar Humor, Drinking Limerick, Liquor Humor, Los Angeles Limerick Fest, Phone Humor, Poetry Readings, Technology Humor, Telephone Verse
Posted in California Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Noise Humor, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, December 4th, 2012
Happy National Cookie Day, December 4th.
Ambitious Techie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A techie served cookies malicious
To his team members. Talk about vicious!
A promotion he chased.
He was fired post-haste—
Just deserts for a guy so ambitious.
Tags: Ambition Verse, Computer Humor, Cookies Limerick, December Holidays, Dessert Humor, Food Verse, Just Deserts, National Cookie Day, Self-Promotion, Techie Humor, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, General, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Workplace & Career Humor | 4 Comments »
Friday, November 23rd, 2012
I was alarmed to learn that I missed National Cappuccino Day on November 8th. Then again, every day is Cappuccino Day in my house. (If I didn’t have my own machine, I could never afford my cappuccino habit.)
But all is not lost: Today, November 23rd, is National Espresso Day.
Close enough.
Limerick Ode To Espresso & Cappuccino
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Espresso alone doesn’t please me.
You must add something more to appease me:
Steamed milk, lots of foam,
And you’re just about home.
Just make sure it’s not bitter. Don’t tease me!
Tags: Addiction Poem, Cappuccino Limerick, Coffee Drinks Humor, Espresso Verse, Mood Humor, National Cappuccino Day, National Espresso Day
Posted in Addiction Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 13 Comments »
Sunday, November 18th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal was disturbed by a line …*
or
A man was disturbed by a line …*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Lining Up For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal was disturbed by a line
That stretched round the block to buy wine.
“Beaujolais Très Nouveau”
Read the sign. She said, “No!
I need grapes fully weaned from the vine.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Beaujolais Nouveau, Competition Limerick, Drinking Humor, Grapes Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Queues Humor, Wine & Spirits, Wine Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 56 Comments »
Wednesday, October 31st, 2012
Though schools remain closed,
trick-or-treat stash is untouched:
Halloween Sandy.
*****
Hurricane Sandy
sure outpaces Halloween
in sheer spookiness.
Tags: Candy Humor, Children Humor, Food Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Halloween Humor, Hurricane Sandy, New York Weather, October Holidays, Trick-or-Treat, Weather Poem
Posted in Children Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, October 27th, 2012
Tomorrow, October 28th, is National Chocolate Day. (Okay, every day is chocolate day in my house. But still…)
A Limerick for National Chocolate Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, no! Did I make a mistake
While baking that chocolate cake?
An ingredient doubled?
Or tripled? I’m troubled!
I should have bought something from Drake.*
* Drake’s a baking company, now a subsidary of Hostess.
UPDATE: If you need a further excuse, I’ve just learned that December 16th is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.
Tags: Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Candy Humor, Chocolate, December Holidays, Drake's Cakes, Food Verse, Hostess, National Chocolate Day, October Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 7 Comments »
Thursday, October 11th, 2012
Just what we all need — yet another reason to eat chocolate!
Eat chocolate, win a Nobel Prize?
It may sound far-fetched, but a new study suggests it might not be bad advice.
The results show countries that eat the most chocolate also have the highest number of Nobel laureates per capita.
Yet Another Excuse To Eat Chocolate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you want yet another excuse
To engage in some chocolate abuse,
It seems eating those sweets
Will create smart elites
And can Nobel Prize winners produce.
UPDATE: If you need a further excuse, I’ve just learned that December 16th is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.
Tags: Brain Humor, Brain Studies, Chocolate, Chocolate Poem, December Holidays, Dessert Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Intelligence, Nobel Prize, Science Humor, Scientific Studies
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays | 13 Comments »
Saturday, October 6th, 2012
Claudia over at DVerse prompts us to write food-related poetry.
Dining Out (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are rest’rants that set a good mood
And are great at adjusting your tude.
They’ll charm and beguile
With a great sense of style.
Now if only they served decent food.
Tags: Dining Humor, DVerse, Eating Limerick, Food Poem, Food Verse, Poetry Prompt, Restaurant Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 16 Comments »
Sunday, September 16th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying his hand …*
or
A woman was trying her hand …*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Trying Your Hand At Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A baker was trying his hand
At launching a rock and roll band.
He played the guitar,
And he hoped to go far.
But alas all his gig dates were panned.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Guitar, Limerick Contest, Music Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Rock & Roll, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 84 Comments »
Monday, June 18th, 2012
Tomorrow, June 19, is National Martini Day. I figured it was best to celebrate with a limerick … before starting on that martini:
Limerick Ode To National Martini Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The martini’s a drink for the tough,
Cuz that cocktail is strong, sometimes rough.
Many favor it gin-filled,
Which leaves me chagrin-filled.
Try tequila instead: It’s good stuff!
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, Beverages, Drinking Limerick, June Holidays, Liquor Humor, Martini Humor, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 13 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was never in doubt…*
or
A gal who was never in doubt…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Doubt
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chef who was never in doubt,
When challenged would glower and shout.
To the slightest critique,
He’d respond with great pique.
But the fellow could sure dish it out.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Chef Humor, Criticism Humor, Critics Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Self-Doubt, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 76 Comments »
Monday, June 11th, 2012
Today, June 11, is National Corn on the Cob Day.
Limerick Ode To National Corn On The Cob Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Corn on the Cob Day today–
A fine dish for a summer buffet.
I’m guessing its gloss
Comes from firms that sell floss.
Do they secretly root for decay?
Tags: Corn On The Cob Day, Dental Floss, Dental Humor, Dentists, Flossing Humor, Food Humor, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Teeth
Posted in Business Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012
Are you all ready to celebrate National Wine Day?
Limerick Ode To National Wine Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Wine Day on May twenty-five.
Don’t go guzzling your beer in some dive.
Sip a rich cabernet,
Pinot, aligoté,
But mull this: when you drink, do not drive.
(You can find more of my wine and food humor here.)
Tags: Drinking & Driving, Drinking Limerick, Liquor Humor, May Holidays, National Wine Day, Odd Holidays, Wine Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, May 16th, 2012
An Acrostic Limerick Treat
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though desserts can be very enticing,
Remember — beware of the pricing:
Ended up with a bill
Awf’ly high — bitter pill.
Thanks heavens for chocolate icing!
(Writers Digest’s Poetic Asides prompts us to write a dessert-related poem.)
You can find more of my acrostic limericks here.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Chocolate Poem, Dessert Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Money Verse, Poetic Asides, Writer's Digest
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, April 1st, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to show…*
or
A woman was trying to show…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Show-Off Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to show
He was savvy, refined, in the know.
But he blew it one night —
An embarrassing sight:
He mistook Pinot Noir for Bordeaux.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Update: Happy Drink Wine Day! (February 18th)
Tags: Bordeaux, Drink Wine Day, Drinking Limerick, February Holidays, Limerick Contest, Odd Holidays, Pinot Noir, Poetry & Prompts, Show-Offs, Wine Humor, Wine Snob Humor, Wine Snobs, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 95 Comments »
