Limerick Doubt (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was never in doubt…*


A gal who was never in doubt…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Doubt
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A chef who was never in doubt,
When challenged would glower and shout.
To the slightest critique,
He’d respond with great pique.
But the fellow could sure dish it out.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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76 Responses to “Limerick Doubt (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Kathy El-Assal says:

    When young she was never in doubt
    About getting a surgical pout.
    Now with lips like a fish
    This actress’s wish
    Is not to ressemble a trout.

  2. A man who was never in doubt
    Of what fine eating was about
    Said “Life would be finer
    For the discerning diner,
    If we were rid Brussels Sprouts”.

  3. A man, wanting remove all doubt,
    Used condoms, like a well-prepared Scout.
    But the power of the thrust
    Caused it to bust
    And left her with one up the spout.

  4. John Sardo says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    Could find prey like an Indian scout
    His quarry was women
    And soon he was swimmin’
    In a bevy whose dreams he would flout.

    A gal who was never in doubt
    Had a body about which she’d shout.
    Come see me some time
    And if you bring the wine
    I’ll make you my love slave devout.

  5. A gal who was never in doubt,
    A spunky young tomboy named Scout
    She rolled in a tire,
    Her status was dire,
    “Hey Boo, won’t you please help me out?”

  6. A man who was never in doubt,
    Though married, he’d have to branch out,
    Did not know his wife
    Was sharp with the knife
    Thus ending his bent to put out.

    The outcome was never in doubt,
    He’d wed me because of my clout.
    “‘Til some bimbo’s mama
    Had ties to Obama.
    He married the bimbo, the lout!

    She cried for attention, no doubt.
    “I’ve triple-D bosoms!” she’d tout.
    Her statement held water
    “Til somebody caught her
    Inflating her chest with a spout!

  7. Veralynne says:

    The shy gal was always in doubt
    She had absolutely no clout
    Her whisp’ry voice? Never heard!
    She was very much the nerd.
    A “carpenter’s friend” with bad gout.

  8. Pat Hatt says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    Slapped his dog in the snout.
    Fido had enough
    And really got rough
    Now he knows what a unic is all about.

  9. Veralynne says:

    The shy guy was never in doubt
    As to whether to stay in or go out
    “The result’s just the same
    ‘Cuz I can’t play the game!
    So I’ll sit here at home and I’ll pout.”

  10. Veralynne says:

    Shy gal and shy guy left no doubt–
    A dead end on their lives’ route!
    Had they taken a chance
    On the Valentine’s Dance
    True love could be what they were about.

  11. scott says:

    A man who is never in doubt,
    is a man we can all live without.
    Because he’ll refuse
    to see other views,
    and learn what real life is about.

  12. A gal who was never in doubt
    said “limericks are hard on my gout.
    I simply cant rhyme ’em,
    so sad I cant try ’em.
    I’m afraid you must just count me out.”

    Hee hee! (just kidding!)

  13. scott says:

    A gal who was never in doubt,
    loved a man ugly and stout.
    His greatest appeal?
    He cooked a good meal,
    and for dessert liked to eat out.

  14. GrannieLib says:

    A dentist was never in doubt
    Of whether to pull a tooth out.
    “I yank ’em and thank ’em,
    And then I bank ’em;
    There’s 31 more I can rout!”

  15. Kathy El-Assal says:

    To celebrate Bloomsday, no doubt,
    Many toasted “Ulysses” with stout.
    Did downing a pint or three
    Lead to epiphany
    Or rather a Dublin-style rout?

  16. Linda Fuller says:

    A man who was tortured by doubt
    Joined a cult and became quite devout.
    He gave them his money,
    Ate raw eggs with honey
    And worshipped a virginal trout.

  17. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A chef who was always in doubt
    Saw a goat run away with his krout.
    His sue chef said sir –
    It was Tony Blair
    Who was holding the rope of that lout.

  18. Rich D says:

    Lennon was never in doubt
    To the Queen he played “Twist And Shout”
    Amidst his tomfoolery
    he suggested her jewelry
    was useful if rattled about!

  19. Rich D says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    of his prowess in bed and about
    A lass made a wish
    That he’d teach her to fish
    He said, “In my pants there’s a trout!”

  20. Rich D says:

    I never had much of a doubt
    A reprise I warned you about
    The songbird of breeze
    is back in the trees
    and casting his melodies out

  21. Rich D says:

    A fella was never in doubt
    In fact he somewhat devout
    He spoke to a pigeon
    about his religion
    and Birdism thus came about

  22. Diane Groothuis says:

    That songbird without any doubt
    Has avoided a very big clout
    He gives us the thrill
    Of the “Mockingbird trill”
    And hopes that his mates are about.

  23. zee alexi says:

    The closed-minded guy we sniff all too bloody often. The lips trout & trout in pants are a riot. We like funny here.
    Thanx, zee 6/17/12

  24. Linda Fuller says:

    A gal who was never in doubt
    About anything often would spout
    Her forceful opinions
    To stupefied minions
    Who avidly craved verbal drought.

  25. Diane Groothuis says:

    That pigeon never in doubt
    Knew the scriptures inside and out
    He puffed up his breast
    And said “Sunday’s for rest
    But Monday’s for pub and your shout”

  26. Rosanna says:

    A gal who was never in doubt
    Wasn’t someone who would shout
    Composed, sure and happy
    There was no reason for her to be snappy
    She just pranced and danced about.

  27. Fred says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    Never questioned what life’s about
    Until, in the sea, he saw this girl
    that sent his thoughts a-swirl
    when he saw her become a trout

  28. Rich D says:

    The voice of insidious doubt
    led to an historic rout
    in hopes of a win
    I sought out a djinn
    but no one had seen one about

  29. A blonde was once filled with doubt,
    As to what reading a book was about.
    When told she would find
    It would broaden her mind,
    Asked if her breasts would also spread out.

  30. Rich D says:

    The songbird, you never should doubt,
    was casting his music about
    He amused a nation
    when his syncopation
    went into a genre and out!

  31. Rich D says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    of the relative merits of grout
    “My caulk”, he would cackle
    “is better than spackle
    but this stuff can also cure gout!”

  32. Diane Groothuis says:

    The songbird I never did doubt
    Of genres went in and then out
    The cause was his tweeter
    Which was always much sweeter
    Whenever he loosened the spout.

  33. Diane Groothuis says:

    That pigeon never in doubt
    Of sickness was getting a bout
    He prayed to St Peter
    To come fix his tweeter
    To stop his sweet voice burning out.

  34. scott says:

    I too thought Kathy’s trout limerick was funny as hell. She is very good.

  35. Here’s mine:

    Up for Air … or Up for Grabs?

    Thanks for the limerick prompt!

    And, Mad, you might like my brand-new blog. Just getting rolling. It’s called Delightfully Amiss: Berserkians Gone Amok. On Finding fodder nearly everywhere, as you can imagine! ;-)

  36. A man who was never in doubt
    In regards to things salmon and trout,
    Knew exactly which bait
    Would get fish on his plate.
    (Though the taste of the fish grossed him out.)

  37. A gal who was never in doubt
    That her husband did not know the route,
    said, “My dear, why don’t we go
    Let go of this ego
    And ask for directions, ya lout!”

  38. Jesse Levy says:

    A gal was never in doubt
    but now is starting to pout
    Her assets you see
    through pure gravity
    have made her whole outlook go sout.

    (Best spoken in Brooklynese)

  39. Linda Fuller says:

    A man who was riddled with doubt
    Had trouble surviving without
    The answers to these:
    First, who cut the cheese?
    And second, who let the dogs out?

  40. A gal who was never in doubt
    Of what birds and the bees were about
    Thought the schools too didactic.
    Example: their tactic
    Of free prophylactic handout.

  41. Rich D says:

    A dancer was never in doubt
    of what it was all about.
    His left foot put in,
    he said with a grin,
    “This is where I take the foot out!”

    Yes, I am sad to say… a Hokey Pokey limerick

  42. patience and the prodigal says:

    from Patience:

    A man who was never in doubt
    that his partner might ever walk out,
    saw the serpent with apple
    how with Eve he did grapple,
    and her pair she was ready to flout.

    and the Prodigal:

    A gal who was never in doubt
    that her knickers would ever wear out,
    Said “they’re made from mild steel,
    with a Chubbs safety seal,
    and the lock is installed inside out!

  43. Victoria says:

    A nun who was never in doubt
    that she counted among the devout
    has to eat humble pie
    when they learned of her lie:
    pilfered bottles of Guinesses Stout.

  44. Daniel Ari says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    Enjoyed many a sexual bout
    With his twelve girlfriends—
    Sans vas deferens—
    He thanked God that the doc took them out. 

  45. Gerald Fleischmann says:

    A man, who was never in doubt,
    Said, “I like all my women quite stout!
    “For there’s much more to love,
    “Yes, they fit like a glove,
    “And they’re rather less likely to pout.”

    A man, who was seldom in doubt,
    Thought his member looked more like a snout.
    But ‘twas no disadvantage
    In hay or in cabbage,
    And a wonder when sniffing about.

    A man who was often in doubt,
    Built himself a gigantic redoubt.
    But his partner was “out-able”
    And more so redoubtable,
    So that’s how his story turned out.

  46. Versebender says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    As to what this old world is about
    Said, “Listen, my son
    To Rule Number One
    Only money provides you with clout”

  47. John Larkin says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    most often would speak in a shout.
    It didn’t take long
    to decide he was wrong
    and neglected to think it all out.

  48. kaykuala says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    And he went with quite a wallop
    God’s gift he would boast
    To women that he loathed
    Just a lot of hot air but for the flout

  49. Diane Groothuis says:

    A dancer always in doubt
    Left foot in that should have been out
    Far too much hokey
    And not enough pokey
    A tumble and then a big shout.

  50. Edmund Conti says:

    Said a man who was never in doubt
    Of water that came from a spout,
    “I know that a lot’ll
    Get spilled from a bottle
    And to pay for it also? That’s out!

  51. Diane Groothuis says:

    Philosopher always in doubt
    Are we here or has thinking gone out?
    Descartes, Leibniz and Locke
    Is it all so much cock
    So what is life really about????

  52. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was never in doubt
    Of his hatred for all sauerkraut.
    Whether cooked or served raw
    In a deli cole slaw,
    I’d say just one thing, “Throw it out!”

  53. A Lim’ricker, never in doubt
    That this week, his verse would win out,
    Reached the end of line 3

  54. Diane Groothuis says:

    A young man never in doubt
    Wore his underwear turned inside out
    As long as his jocks
    Teemed up with his socks
    He felt dressed enough to go out.

  55. Diane Groothuis says:

    A young lady without any doubt
    All work dress regulations would flout
    Till one day a cop
    Said glaring at her top
    “You can’t let those two girls hang out”

  56. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was never in doubt
    Of the fact he was stylishly stout
    Excepting, alas,
    For his very fat ass
    And his waist and his legs and his snout.

  57. Al Hood says:

    Though my rhyming is never in doubt
    All my limericks she’ll tend to flout
    But as Madeleine knows
    It’s tougher than prose
    Which can be penned by any old lout.

  58. Andy says:

    Been a while since I visited, but when I do, I always linger for my fill of laughs!
    Thanks for sharing.

    Love The Enchantress Flower

  59. Mark Kane says:

    Now the banks just were never in doubt.
    They were smarter and so they did flout
    Regs to keep their banks healthy,
    As bosses got wealthy,
    Then were pleased to be fully bailed out.

  60. MrsSmeej says:

    Elections this Fall are in doubt
    ’cause Super PACs wield too much clout
    They’re spending like sin
    So their guy will win
    I’d rather we threw those bums out.

    Because, as of now, there’s no doubt
    That money can drown our voice out.
    ‘though I hate to preach
    That isn’t free speech
    It’s pricey and more like a shout.

  61. Diane Groothuis says:

    Clairvoyant never in doubt
    That all her predictions came out
    In the future would delve
    All ends twenty twelve
    If it doesn’t we’ll still be about.

  62. Linda Fuller says:

    George Martin was briefly in doubt
    When Lennon performed “Twist and Shout”
    That his voice would desert him
    But although it hurt him
    John totally rocked the song out.

    See “The Beatles’ version” at Twist And Shout

  63. Linda Fuller says:

    Oops, was trying to create a link but discovered the missing link instead ;(

    Note from Mad Kane: I fixed your link, using HTML code. (I think you were using Wikipedia-style code.)

  64. Linda Fuller says:

    Thanks, Madeleine! I had a feeling you’d save me :)

  65. Johanna Richmond says:

    My daughter is never in doubt
    That her wit gives her license to spout,
    So straight-faced I lead
    Lest I laugh, thus concede
    Clever comebacks can supersede clout.

  66. Patrick McKeon says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    Would pound on his bible and shout
    “If the Lord walked today
    He would punish the gay”
    Then his elderly mother came out

  67. Errol Nimbly says:

    A young woman who hadn’t a doubt,
    Thought her date would, as promised, pull out.
    Now she wishes she’d quibbled
    When he mumbled, “Oops– dribbled”.
    She’s had twins and he’s vanished– the lout!

  68. Diane Groothuis says:

    A housewife never in doubt
    Watches TV day in and day out
    She only survives
    On “Days of our Lives”
    And what Victor Newman’s about.

  69. Granny Smith says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    That he could psych anyone out
    Was just a bit leery
    When he psyched out his Dearie.
    Screamed she,”You insensitive lout!”

  70. sisterAE says:

    A man who was never in doubt
    left his wife with a permanent pout.
    Every secret he’d share,
    and cute tips (like you care!)
    on the things he knew nothing about.

  71. Mark Kane says:

    A man who was never in doubt,
    Of his fervor and member both stout,
    Could woo any lady,
    And drive her just crazy,
    Resulting in shout after shout.

  72. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Indianans seem ever in doubt,
    Speaking French, to respect or to flout.
    For example, a Hoosier
    Will mutilate “du jour”
    But say “Terre Hōte” and not “Howt.”

  73. Linda Fuller says:

    A man who was subject to doubt
    As to whether or not he should tout
    His every good deed
    Decided that he’d
    Adhere to the humbler route.

  74. Errol Nimbly says:

    Said a man who knew all about doubt,
    “Doubt is something I know all about.
    When you doubt, you will pout
    And have no joy to shout;
    So I do hope your doubt will run out.”

  75. Linda Fuller says:

    A flautist was never in doubt
    About her intention to flout
    The major convention
    Of tonal ascension
    Her teacher had taught her about.

  76. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, The Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 67.

    But you can still have limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Airs.