Archive for the ‘Limerick Writing Contest’ Category
Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to find…*
or
A woman was thrilled with her find…*
or
A man was irate — he’d been fined…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Finding Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who found she’d been fined
Worked hard at escaping her bind.
She got tied up in knots
Cuz the court system rots:
It seems justice and law ain’t entwined.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Fines, Justice Humor, Law Humor, Legal System, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Books | 98 Comments »
Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
In £ondon, a bill is a pound,
While in France, it’s the €uro that’s found.
Here in U. S. of A,
The dollar holds $way.
Whirled trade makes the money-go-round.
Congratulations to J Cosmo Newbery, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A professor would often expound
A theory, long proven unsound.
He thought a man oughta
Swim well underwater.
But sadly, in trying, he drowned.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Jeff Shirley, Bruce Niedt, Steve Whitred, Fred Bortz, Danielle Nowlin, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Colleen Murphy:
With fists on the table I’ll pound.
I’ll stomp both my feet on the ground.
If you’re feeling the blues
From my terrible twos,
Just wait til my threes come around!
Jeff Shirley:
A woman who spent her last pound
Bought a plaything to tickle her mound.
When the batteries failed
“La Dee Da,” she exhaled.
“For the milkman will soon be around.”
Bruce Niedt:
A woman who lost just a pound
Looked down at her scale and then frowned.
So she quit diet planning,
Instead took up tanning–
She’s still fat, but she’s evenly browned.
Steve Whitred:
They gave the poor headboard a pound,
And the mattress collapsed to the ground.
Though they practiced safe sex
On the porch and the decks,
In the bathtub they both nearly drowned.
Fred Bortz:
If baloney is sold by the pound,
Then the costliest radio sound
Is political patter
Where facts never matter
And untruths and falsehoods abound.
Danielle Nowlin:
My professor would often expound
On deep thoughts as he roamed far around.
He declaimed as he moved,
But digressed and he proved
You can get a prof lost who’s profound.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
The penis is barely a pound,
And typic’ly just hangs around,
But with help from tumescence
It gives of one’s essence,
A process for which it’s renowned.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Danielle Nowlin, David Lefkovits, Fred Bortz, J Cosmo Newbery, Jeff Shirley, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Steve Whitred, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, June 16th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman had spent her last pound…*
or
A fellow went down to the pound…*
or
A woman bought less than a pound…*
or
A fellow was trying to pound…*
or
A professor would often expound…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limericks By The Pound
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow went down to the pound
With plans to adopt a cute hound.
His spouse said, “Think small,”
But he brought home a tall
St. Bernard. Now his wife’s outward bound.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal Verse, Competition Limerick, Dog Humor, Dog Pounds, Dog Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Pet Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 86 Comments »
Sunday, June 16th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman quite often arose
In wrath at her sisters and bros.
They arranged her blind dates
With prospective soul mates.
So her life was all butt-ins and beaux.
Congratulations to Fred Bortz, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
From “The Vacuum,” The Cosmos arose,
As every good physicist knows.
I’d explain in this verse,
But the form is too terse.
The Big Bang requires Big Prose.
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a clever multi-verse limerick.
Magnificently, he arose,
He’s a Greek god right down to his toes…
His serpent allures;
To say he endures
Is to liken the phoenix to crows.
I look up — in his teeth there’s a rose;
What he holds in his hand damn near glows;
Let me die by this stake…
Crap, that’s Ralph: “You awake?
I don’t know where this old flashlight goes.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sue Dulley, Jane Shelton Hoffman, J Cosmo Newbery, Steve Whitred, Scott Crowder, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Sue Dulley:
With fabric, a pale shade of rose,
She made up some curtains and throws.
They didn’t look smart
So she took them apart–
It’s sad when she rips what she sews.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow who frequently rows
Never tells his wife just where he goes.
And her brother’s wife, Sue,
Often disappears too.
A family affair we suppose.
J Cosmo Newbery:
A woman was holding a rose
And the prize that it won in the shows.
And no-one suspected
Her win was connected
With the spot where she buried her beaux.
Steve Whitred:
His first tattoo says “I Love Rose.”
But another says “Bros before Hoes.”
So, his new girl, Inez
Wears a T-shirt that says,
“I’m with stupid”, wherever she goes.
Scott Crowder:
A woman was poked by a rose
And sent into orgasmic throes.
If one little prick,
Can do such a trick,
There’s hope for me too, I suppose.
Will T. Laughlin:
Rose planted her roses in rows,
Her garden to fully enclose.
Rose’s rosy rows rose,
And now nobody knows
When she goes through the rows with her beaux.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Fred Bortz, J Cosmo Newbery, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Steve Whitred, Sue Dulley, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, June 9th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was holding a rose…*
or
A woman quite often arose…*
or
A fellow who frequently rows…*
or
A woman reserved sev’ral rows…*
or
A man was involved in some rows…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Rose
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman quite often arose
From a difficult yoga-like pose
And, groaning, would claim:
“That position might maim,
But while in it, I manage to doze.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 100 Comments »
Sunday, June 9th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Robert Schechter, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
In Montana, a man with a suit
Is laughed at. They think he’s a hoot!
And they holler with glee
If by chance they should see
That he’s wearing a necktie to Butte.
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
My neighbor was filing a suit,
Claimed I’d sealed up the holes in his flute.
So I entered a plea,
“With the charge I agree,
But it sounds so much better on mute.”
Congratulations to Steve Whitred, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a very clever multi-verse limerick. (Here’s some info about the case Steve’s describing in his limerick.)
My fav’rite Nebraskan filed suit
Against God, with intent to impute
That he caused to transpire
Floods, earthquakes and fire.
For his part, the Yahweh was mute.
The judge promptly threw out the suit,
Saying God had no street or rur’l route,
And the bench then observed
Though the lord must be served,
“We’ve no viable means of pursuit.”
So the plaintiff’s appealing the suit,
Says “The grounds for dismissal are moot.
We’re subpoena foregoing.
Jehovah’s all knowing.
We shouldn’t his presence dispute.”
Then the high court vacated his suit,
Though the brief they reviewed was astute.
Now he’s known as the hater
Who sued the Creator
From Oshkosh to Lincoln to Butte.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Scott Crowder, Colleen Murphy, Johanna Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Sue Dulley, Robert Schechter, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Scott Crowder:
If you see me dressed up in a suit
And looking refined and astute,
With pants neatly creased,
I must be deceased,
In which case I won’t give a hoot.
Colleen Murphy:
A tomato was filing a suit,
Claimed the farmer had called him a “Fruit.”
The judge said, “True ref’rence,
Though not as to pref’rence.
The point of the matter is moot.”
Johanna Richmond:
No matter the price of the suit;
When that back-talking Maximus (Glute)
Throws his cares to the wind,
Rich and poor are chagrined.
Mighty mouth of the south, I salute.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A Senator wearing a suit
Was a right wing, religious old coot.
He’d profess, “Guns don’t kill!
But if you’ve got some skill,
When a thug comes around, you should shoot!”
Sue Dulley:
A man all dressed up in a suit
Caught the train for his morning commute.
His outfit, so formal,
Was looked on as normal
By others who took the same route.
Robert Schechter:
Said a man who was hit by a suit:
“I suppose I was far from astute.
I taunted, ‘So sue me!’
He did. Now I’m gloomy.
It’s wiser, at times, to stand mute.”
Will T. Laughlin:
Our limerick rhyme-word is “suit”:
Here’s the worst one — and that’s absolute.
It’s intended in fun,
So I beg: when I’m done,
Would you kindly not hurl rotten fruit?
I’m told that some Hollywood suit
Pitched a biopic: “Hawley and Smoot”.
Smoot never would bend
To the Hollywood trend,
But Hawley would. Ain’t THAT a beaut?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Scott Crowder, Steve Whitred, Sue Dulley, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 2nd, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was hit by a suit…*
or
A woman was filing a suit…*
or
A fellow was wearing a suit…*
or
A gal rented space built to suit…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Suit
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was hit by a suit
From his neighbor, and this one’s a beaut.
The core of the case:
“His trees have no grace.”
So the suit failed to bear any fruit.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Law Humor, Lawyers, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Litigation Poem, Neighbors Humor, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Trees, Writing Prompts
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 87 Comments »
Sunday, June 2nd, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Kirk Miller, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
As you age you may feel rather ill,
But your life needn’t lack for a thrill.
Here’s a message that’s true:
Just remember that you
Pick up speed when you’re going down hill.
Congratulations to Ailsa McKillop, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Ailsa McKillop:
A gal who was feeling quite ill
Said bravely, “I just have a chill.”
But the cause of malaise
Was one Nature obeys
When a woman forgets just one Pill.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Sue Dulley, Scott Crowder, Fred Bortz, John Peter Larkin, Colleen Murphy, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
A man who was frequently ill
Was told to eat plenty of krill
Which his doctor, a shark,
Had prescribed as a lark,
Then sent him a whale of a bill.
Byron Miller:
Tis a good wind which blows one no ill
That will swirl ‘neath girls’ dresses and thrill
Passing gents with a peek
At the regions they seek,
Lifting hopes which they long to fulfill.
Sue Dulley:
North Koreans once had Kim Jong-il
Rule their land with his powerful will.
Now it falls to his son,
Who is named Kim Jong-un,
His father’s large flip-flops to fill.
Scott Crowder:
A woman was feeling quite ill
At the thought of that five dollar bill
In the crack of her butt;
She becomes such a slut
When Tequila determines her will.
Fred Bortz:
The mallard was feeling quite ill
So the duck doctor gave him a pill.
But the bird blew his stack,
‘Cause the doc was a quack
And charged him a wing and a bill.
John Peter Larkin:
A gal was convinced she was ill
After eating an off-tasting dill.
She asked her poor spouse
Why he’s still in the house
And not fetching a curative pill.
Colleen Murphy:
A drunkard was feeling quite ill
After reading his credit card bill.
“On the first of September
The flight I remember,
But not where I spent half a mil!”
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A woman was suddenly ill
When she glanced at the theater’s playbill,
And found it quite odd;
She’d reserved Sweeney Todd,
But the Barber was now in Seville.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Ailsa McKillop, Byron Miller, Colleen Murphy, David Lefkovits, Fred Bortz, John Peter Larkin, Kirk Miller, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Sue Dulley, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest Filed under Contests
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, May 26th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was feeling quite ill…*
or
A fellow who often spoke ill…*
or
A gal was convinced she was ill…*
or
A man would pretend to be ill…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Ills
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Poison ivy can make you quite ill
And lead to a large doctor’s bill.
You’re allergic? Could be
That you need an IV,
And may itch to attend to that will.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 91 Comments »
Sunday, May 26th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to ANN MARTIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A philosopher covered in ink
Claimed “I know I exist ’cause I think,”
But René was so grubby
His wife told her hubby,
“I know you exist, ’cause you stink.”
Ann Martin’s philosophy limerick is also in a tie with this funny limerick by SUE DULLEY to jointly win the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award:
My fountain pen’s run out of ink,
My VCR’s gone on the blink.
I think one fine day
I’ll just sail away
And pray that my raft doesn’t sink.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Will T. Laughlin, Fred Bortz, Johanna Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Colleen Murphy:
We’re anxiously watching the ink
In hopes it confirms what we think.
We erupt into cheers
When the plus sign appears.
Now’s the question of blue or of pink.
Will T. Laughlin:
I’m changing my name to “Will, Inc.”
As a corporate person, I think
I can do as I please:
Pay no taxes or fees,
And take dumps in the water you drink.
Fred Bortz:
A limerick written in ink
Requires the writer to think.
If instead, he just scribbles
There’s bound to be quibbles:
Both meter and rhyming will stink.
Johanna Richmond:
I devoted today’s bit of ink
To that well-endowed, trash-tweeting fink
Who, OK, likes to sext,
But maintains he’s the next
Mayor Koch (squeeze an “r” in, wink, wink).
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A woman was trying to ink
A diet to make people shrink.
But this was a dream
For her love of ice cream
Meant without it she just could not think!
Tim James:
The GOP gets lots of ink
As they try with great effort to link
The prez to a scandal
(A job they can’t handle).
Who’s running this crew? Colonel Klink?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Ann Martin, Colleen Murphy, Fred Bortz, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Sue Dulley, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, May 19th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow with too much red ink…*
or
A woman was trying to ink…*
or
A woman was hoping to ink…*
or
A fellow was purchasing ink…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Ink
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman with too much red ink
Spilled some paint and rushed off to the sink.
But the stains were severe
And removal costs dear.
You might say she was NOT tickled pink.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Red Ink, Stains, Stains Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 89 Comments »
Sunday, May 19th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Will T. Laughlin, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Cap’n Richard, the yacht racing buff,
Courts the ladies with confidence bluff.
But his shame, when he fails,
Takes the wind from his sails…
That’s the trouble with falling in luff.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fanatical fairy tale buff
Was told by his wife, “That’s enough!
I have played as Snow White,
Even Gretel at night,
But I won’t be a billy goat gruff!
Congratulations to Diane Groothuis and Will T. Laughlin, who jointly win a special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:
Diane Groothuis:
The Oxford Shakespearean buff
Thought things in the old times were tough
It seems rather queer
To lend one your ear
Just to bury a king in a huff.
Will T. Laughlin:
What Antony ought to have said
Was: “Please keep your ears on your head.
Digging graves with your ears
Would take days, if not years…
Romans, lend me your shovels instead!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): Tim James, Colleen Murphy, Steve Whitred, Robert Schechter,
Fred Bortz, Carolyn Henly, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
A wedding night spent in the buff
Turned out for one guy to be rough.
His bride, not well knowing
The concept of “blowing,”
Passed out after one giant puff.
Colleen Murphy:
My pop was a Civil War buff
Who’d dress in his Civil War stuff.
He’d scare ev’ry neighbor
When armed with his saber,
And bringing in boyfriends was tough!
Steve Whitred:
A woman who’d swim in the buff
With the witches, Macbeth, and Macduff,
Felt it just wasn’t cool
With a dog in the pool
And said “Out damn Spot, ‘nough is enough.”
Robert Schechter:
A woman who cooked in the buff
Should have stopped with one cannabis puff.
“The turkey, or me?”
She asked. “Let me see . . .”
Then she chose the wrong creature to stuff.
Fred Bortz:
My bod, which has never been buff,
Or brawny, or sexy, or tough,
Would be a great pain
Were I hopelessly vain,
But I strive and I thrive. That’s enough.
Carolyn Henly:
A pseudo-Shakespearean buff
Found that learning his lines was quite rough.
He got fired one day
From the old Scottish play
‘Cuz he kept saying “Lead on, Macduff!”
David Lefkovits:
When opting to swim in the buff,
One confronts a decision so tough:
Would it be more obscene
To shave oneself clean
Or fearlessly feature one’s fluff?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Carolyn Henly, Colleen Murphy, David Lefkovits, Diane Groothuis, Fred Bortz, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Steve Whitred, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Saturday, May 11th, 2013
Today, May 12th, is Limerick Day, in honor of Edward Lear’s birthday. So it’s an especially good day for a Limerick-Off. And my own limerick seems particularly appropriate too.
As you all know by now, I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who’d swim in the buff…*
or
A fellow was trying to buff…*
or
A savvy astronomy buff… (or zoology or economy or gastronomy buff, etc.) *
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Buff (2-Verse)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a limerick buff
Who of rhyming could not get enough.
She would rhyme night and day
In a metrical way,
Writing verse that her spouse labeled fluff.
It was clearly a matter of time
Till their marriage erupted in crime.
Things came to a head;
Now her husband is dead.
Cause of death — spouse aversion to rhyme.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Edward Lear, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, May Holidays, National Limerick Day, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Writing & Publishing Humor | 85 Comments »
Saturday, May 11th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Peter dates an old lady who trips
When she hears Gladys Knight and the Pips;
And knowing he’s scored
When she shouts “All aboard!”
Peter prays that her Poligrip grips.
Congratulations to Steve Whitred, who win the Special Mother’s Day-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
On Mom’s Day she’ll act mild and meek,
But I know that before I can speak
She’ll say “Thanks for the call.”
Then she’ll make me feel small
With “Your brother phones two times a week.”
Congratulations to Mike Moulton, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A hippie who took lots of trips
With reality came not to grips,
As the acid he tried
Left his brain nearly fried
And subject to memory slips.
Congratulations to Steve Whitred, who wins a special Limerick Puzzle Award, occasionally given to a very clever puzzle in limerick form:
Here’s a puzzle for taking on trips:
At a fork, the path rises or dips.
Pick the one you should take
To arrive at the lake.
In verse two I’ll supply you with tips.
There’s two guides, but be careful, one trips.
Only lies ever come from her lips.
Th’ other guide in the booth
Always tells you the truth.
Which is which? You don’t know, and that rips.
But with guilt, on me, don’t lay your trips.
Both guides know which path’s right and which gyps.
Since these girls are both sibs,
They know which of them fibs
And which sis tells the truth in her quips.
To arrive at the lake on these trips,
It’s now time that we all come to grips.
What’s the question to pose
To one guide, so it shows
Down which path to be pointing your hips?
(Steve provides the answer to his fun puzzle here.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Fred Bortz, J Cosmo Newbery, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Sue Dulley. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Craig Dykstra:
My career lets me take lots of trips.
I tend bar on some cruise-liner ships.
I like it a lot
‘Cause there’s nothing so hot
As a drunk girl with really big tips.
Fred Bortz:
The astronomer’s too frequent trips
To savor Miss Moonbeam’s sweet lips
Were the proximate cause:
He forgot Kepler’s Laws
And was late for the solar eclipse.
J Cosmo Newbery:
A fellow who took many trips
To clubs where a young lady strips
Got the fright of his life
Recognizing his wife
Both dancing and pulling large tips.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A writer would take frequent trips
To research how each country strips.
“Geisha girls drop their fans.
French nudes do can-cans.
And Middle East girls show their lips.”
Sue Dulley
A comet makes regular trips
Round its orbit, a long thin ellipse.
What to do on the day
Our earth gets in its way?
We’ll need some apocalypse tips.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, Fred Bortz, J Cosmo Newbery, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mike Moulton, Steve Whitred, Sue Dulley, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, May 5th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And since Mother’s Day is approaching, I’m offering you an alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to Mother’s Day, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Mother’s Day limerick.
And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who took many trips…*
or
A fellow who frequently trips…*
or
A gal who enjoys taking trips…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Trips
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who took pricey trips
Was exceedingly chintzy with tips.
Just deserts fin’ly came
When he crossed the wrong dame,
Who laced his dessert and his dips.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Travel Humor | 59 Comments »
Sunday, May 5th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
The party was starting to hum
On a fishing boat well-stocked with rum,
Till the captain’s friend, drunk,
With the sharks took a dunk.
Now he’s known as the skipper’s best chum.
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Someone’s limerick made me go hummm…
When I think of a frown on a bum,
My mind goes to farce —
Painted lips on an arse
And a mouth ill-equipped to chew gum.
Congratulations to Steve Whitred and Will T. Laughlin, who jointly win a special Limerick Puzzle/Repartee Award for this limerick exchange, which begins with Steve’s puzzle in multi-verse limerick form and ends with Will’s solution, also in multi-verse limerick form:
Steve Whitred:
So this week when the rhyme word is hum
And I’ve o’er used ‘cum’, ‘dum’, ‘thumb’, and ‘bum’.
A conundrum I’ll pose.
Will you solve it, who knows?
I suspect though, it’s too tough for some.
Now the gears in my head start to hum,
As the clues for this puzzle forth come.
You’ve got 12 coins of gold,
But there’s one that is old.
It’s weight’s off from the rest, by a crumb.
You’ve a scale (not of music to hum).
It’s two pans on a chain, and it’s plumb.
With this scale weigh the gold
‘Till at last you behold
The coin others are different from.
If at this point you’re all thinking hummm…,
Here’s a clue to begin, don’t be glum.
Place some coins in each pan.
If they balance you can
Safely say that it’s not in that scrum.
Since you now see this isn’t ho-hum,
One more thing, please don’t think I’m a bum.
The odd coin may be light
Or just overweight, slight.
And three weighing’s the goal. Good luck chum.
Will T. Laughlin:
Here’s the method that I would employ:
Choose *any* two coins, Steve my boy…
Take one coin (your choice),
Weigh it avoirdupois,
And then measure the other in troy.
No, no: please don’t give me a beating.
I know that this method is cheating.
If you’d rather instead,
I’ll try using my head…
(Quite a change from my usual bleating).
– ahem –
Put six and six pieces of eight
On the scales, and determine their weight.
You’ll notice one side
Slightly higher will ride:
That’s the side we’ll be working with. Great:
Take the coins from the light side, and see
How they measure up, weighed three and three.
Once again you’ll behold
That there’s one tray of gold
Slightly lighter, comparatively.
Now the answer’s so clear it could bite one:
The lighter half must have the right one.
So compare one and one.
If they’re equal, you’re done;
If they’re not, then you just choose the light one.
(You can read Steve’s solution to his own puzzle here in prose form.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Colleen Murphy, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Johanna Richmond, Sue Dulley, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
Beethoven first started to hum
As a child when he still sucked his thumb.
As he crawled on the floor,
He’d come up with a score.
His FIRST tune was “Dot dot dot dum.”
Colleen Murphy:
My brother would constantly hum,
Crack knuckles, blow bubbles, and drum.
Then wonder why dating
Was so darned deflating,
As girlfriends would leave when he’d come.
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
Just as things were beginning to hum,
Along came a fellow so dumb:
He chose a fine cello
With tone sweet and mellow.
With pick he then started to strum.
David Lefkovits:
A fellow would constantly hum
The chorus from “Under My Thumb.”
He said, with a swagger,
“My moves are like Jagger;
Just see how I’m shaking my bum.”
Johanna Richmond:
To the dentist who’d constantly hum
While poking and prodding her gum:
She cried, “Hate to sound sore
But just how much more
Anesthesia would make my ears numb?”
Sue Dulley:
The lobby was starting to hum.
Reporters closed in for the scrum.
But soon all were vexed
When “No comment” and “Next?”
Were the closest to answers they’d come.
Robert Schechter:
My girlfriend would constantly hum
During sex, and it bothered me some.
One day I asked why,
And she said with a sigh,
“I’ll sing you the words when I come.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Schechter, Steve Whitred, Sue Dulley, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, April 28th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow would constantly hum…*
or
A gal was annoyed by a hum…*
or
Just as things were beginning to hum…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Hum
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A florist would constantly hum,
While chomping a large pack of gum,
Till a Mother’s Day shopper
With one in the hopper
Said, “Kindly attempt to be mum!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Florist Humor, Flowers, Humming Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Mother's Day Limericks, Mums Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 145 Comments »
Sunday, April 28th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Les a/k/a Colonialist, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
An artist who often made scenes
Would paint them on flimsiest screens.
When backdrops were rent,
Cast would then, through the vent,
Cast aspersions while venting their spleens.
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
An artist was drawing some scenes
Of the countryside down in Orleans.
As he sketched and he drew
He kept sipping some brew,
Which explains why his last subject leans.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, who wins a special Limerick Quiz Award, for creating a fun Limerick Movie Quiz out of his series of limericks. (You can find the answers to David’s quiz right after the list of Honorable Mention winning limericks, upside down … just to keep everybody honest.)
This week, when the keyword is “scenes”,
I wanted to break from routines.
Each verse I will use
To throw out some clues;
Try guessing what each of them means!
This silent is loaded with scenes
Of man in the thrall of machines,
And the mystical muse
Who changes the views
Of a rebel who’s born of great means.
This actor was noted for scenes
Of angst-ridden young men and teens.
If he had lived long,
He might have gone on
To become one of Hollywood’s deans.
In this mob movie’s earliest scenes
The specter of lust intervenes
With a gangster whose shlong
Is a few inches long;
In fact, it may be in the teens.
One of the funniest scenes
To blaze across Hollywood screens
Ends up with a din
Like trumpets and wind
And begins with a pot full of beans.
There’s a musical noted for scenes
Of dancing by killer chorines,
Who know of a spot
Where the music is hot,
And the lyrics are not for preteens.
In this movie, two ladies have scenes
Making one of the world’s great cuisines,
But the younger one’s thrown
By Beef Bourguignon,
And breaks down amid her tureens.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Will T. Laughlin, Steve Whitred, Bob Dvorak, Ira Bloom, and Sue Dulley. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Will T. Laughlin:
An Irishman likes to make scenes
While wooing the village colleens.
But the girls understand
That his gestures so grand
Mean there’s nothing at all in his jeans.
Steve Whitred:
In Bogey films there are some scenes
Where his shortness of height intervenes,
Like the time when he quipped,
“Ingrid let’s change the script
To a ‘hill’, from a ‘mountain’ of beans.”
Bob Dvorak:
A fellow who often made scenes
In the buff, to be seen on big screens,
Can’t act. When a guy
Out of work asked him why,
He retorted, “It’s all in the genes.”
Ira Bloom:
A fellow who often makes scenes,
As he drinks, stumbles, trips and careens,
With few inhibitions,
Makes rude propositions.
A good thing his wife intervenes.
Sue Dulley:
A youth leader takes in some scenes
With “her girls”, a small group of young teens.
She’s known to have stated,
“No, they’re not related,
Although they all have the same jeans”.
And now, returning to David Lefkovits’ Limerick Movie Quiz, here’s the answer key:
˙ɐıןnɾ & ǝıןnɾ ‘oƃɐɔıɥɔ ‘sǝןppɐs ƃuızɐןq ‘ɹǝɥʇɐɟpoƃ ǝɥʇ ‘uɐǝp sǝɯɐɾ ‘sıןodoɹʇǝɯ
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Colleen Murphy, Colonialist, David Lefkovits, Ira Bloom, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Steve Whitred, Sue Dulley, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 14 Comments »
Sunday, April 21st, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who often made scenes…*
or
A fellow who often made scenes…*
or
An artist was working on scenes…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Scenes
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who often made scenes
Liked to gripe about “man and machines.”
She thought gadgets depraved,
And yet bitterly raved:
“My espresso grind isn’t worth beans!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Behavior, Caffeine Humor, Coffee Beans, Coffee Drinks Humor, Competition Limerick, Espresso Maker, Espresso Verse, Gadget Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Machines Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 90 Comments »
Sunday, April 21st, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A chicken quite frequently stews
About stews that to her are bad news:
“There went sister and mother.
I WON’T be another!
If I’m called to be served, I’ll refuse!”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
An actor I know often stews
That his videos don’t get more views.
Then he did a drunk dance,
But forgot to wear pants–
Now he’s featured on CNN News.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Fred Bortz, Kevin Ahern, Craig Dykstra, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Ira Bloom, Colleen Murphy, and Steve Whitred. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Fred Bortz:
A restaurant served only stews
With many odd flavors to choose.
But business went down
When folks in the town
Discovered their zoo’s down two gnus.
Kevin Ahern:
A creator of books about stews
Went to Sicily partly to schmooze.
This lazy ass bum
Thought he might become
An author they couldn’t refuse.
Craig Dykstra:
Two French painters, but one often stews.
To the other he offers his views:
“Oh Monsieur Lautrec
All I paint is such dreck!
I fear I’ve got nothing, Toulouse.”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A gourmand who likes to eat stews
Posed the question, “What meat did you use?”
Since the menu director
Was Hannibal Lecter,
Missing persons list might give some clues.
Ira Bloom:
A fellow who comes when he stews,
Makes a point to date nothing but shrews.
Asked if he could abide
With a nun he replied:
“I don’t mind, if she has a short fuse.”
Colleen Murphy:
I’ve a girlfriend who frequently stews,
Says her son’s in the terrible twos.
I, a witness, attest,
He’s a toddler possessed,
And a reason I’ll birth control use!
Steve Whitred:
A fellow who likes to make stews,
Using chuck steak and horse meat and ewes,
Serves his hash on a raft
With a micro-brew draft
And he calls his place ‘Cruise, Booze, and Chews’
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, Fred Bortz, Ira Bloom, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Kevin Ahern, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Steve Whitred, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 7 Comments »
