Limerick of the Week (113)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Peter dates an old lady who trips
When she hears Gladys Knight and the Pips;
And knowing he’s scored
When she shouts “All aboard!”
Peter prays that her Poligrip grips.

Congratulations to Steve Whitred, who win the Special Mother’s Day-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

On Mom’s Day she’ll act mild and meek,
But I know that before I can speak
She’ll say “Thanks for the call.”
Then she’ll make me feel small
With “Your brother phones two times a week.”

Congratulations to Mike Moulton, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A hippie who took lots of trips
With reality came not to grips,
As the acid he tried
Left his brain nearly fried
And subject to memory slips.

Congratulations to Steve Whitred, who wins a special Limerick Puzzle Award, occasionally given to a very clever puzzle in limerick form:

Here’s a puzzle for taking on trips:
At a fork, the path rises or dips.
Pick the one you should take
To arrive at the lake.
In verse two I’ll supply you with tips.

There’s two guides, but be careful, one trips.
Only lies ever come from her lips.
Th’ other guide in the booth
Always tells you the truth.
Which is which? You don’t know, and that rips.

But with guilt, on me, don’t lay your trips.
Both guides know which path’s right and which gyps.
Since these girls are both sibs,
They know which of them fibs
And which sis tells the truth in her quips.

To arrive at the lake on these trips,
It’s now time that we all come to grips.
What’s the question to pose
To one guide, so it shows
Down which path to be pointing your hips?

(Steve provides the answer to his fun puzzle here.)

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Fred Bortz, J Cosmo Newbery, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Sue Dulley. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Craig Dykstra:

My career lets me take lots of trips.
I tend bar on some cruise-liner ships.
I like it a lot
‘Cause there’s nothing so hot
As a drunk girl with really big tips.

Fred Bortz:

The astronomer’s too frequent trips
To savor Miss Moonbeam’s sweet lips
Were the proximate cause:
He forgot Kepler’s Laws
And was late for the solar eclipse.

J Cosmo Newbery:

A fellow who took many trips
To clubs where a young lady strips
Got the fright of his life
Recognizing his wife
Both dancing and pulling large tips.

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A writer would take frequent trips
To research how each country strips.
“Geisha girls drop their fans.
French nudes do can-cans.
And Middle East girls show their lips.”

Sue Dulley

A comet makes regular trips
Round its orbit, a long thin ellipse.
What to do on the day
Our earth gets in its way?
We’ll need some apocalypse tips.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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9 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (113)”

  1. Johanna Richmond says:

    What a nice surprise! Thank you, Mad! Congratulations to Steve (twice), Mike and the honorables! Great fun, everyone!

  2. Congratulations Johanna, Mike, and the HMs. This was a fun week with lots of great limericks.

  3. Fred Bortz says:

    Thanks, Mad–I think….

    A limerick brain is a curse
    That leads to much doggerel verse.
    Mad’s mention, well meant,
    To a certain extent
    Only makes my affliction much worse.

  4. Congratulations to all the winners! The depth of your creativity continues to amaze and inspire me each week.

  5. zee alexi says:

    Craig Dykstra~~Addressing others w/respect: “Girls” can’t go to bars~~you gotta be 21. Girls go to school…women work. What did women march for 40 yrs ago if this thoughtless continues? How about “lass,” “dame,” “Ms.,” “Frau”? [Women also shun “gal,” “lady,” “little woman,” “skirt” & “squaw.” “Doll” or “babe” if you must~~in a romantic or riotous limerick.] “w/really big tips” is priceless.

  6. zee alexi says:

    Fred Bortz: Miss Moonbeam is a flower, a thoroughbred, a blogger, an online retailer, a labrador, a space drag queen…if you mean moonbeams [a ray of moonlight] which you’ve made female, how about “Ms.”? Google “Miss” = howls from women. “Ms.” was launched by Bulletin of the American Business Writing Assn (1951) & The Simplified Letter (1952). Ms. is used in professional & social contexts. Ms. serves exactly the same function that Mr. does for men. Furthermore, Ms. is correct regardless of a woman’s marital status, thus relegating that information to the realm of private life, where it belongs. Thanx.

    Kepler’s 3 Laws~~sent me to dictionary; goody. “A limerick brain is a curse”~~astounding…“verse-atile brain”~~numbingly sublime.

  7. Sue Dulley says:

    Thanks Mad, and congratulations to all the winners and others who wrote good limericks, pc and otherwise. Happy to report that people only have to be 18 to get into bars where I live.

  8. John Larkin says:

    My vote goes to Jane Shelton Hoffman from among the finalists. Unfortuntely for Jane, I’m not the judge. And it’s probably best for me if I don’t try to send in any more limericks.

  9. madkane says:

    Congratulations once again to all the winners!