Limerick Trips (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And since Mother’s Day is approaching, I’m offering you an alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to Mother’s Day, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Mother’s Day limerick.
And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who took many trips…*
or
A fellow who frequently trips…*
or
A gal who enjoys taking trips…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Trips
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who took pricey trips
Was exceedingly chintzy with tips.
Just deserts fin’ly came
When he crossed the wrong dame,
Who laced his dessert and his dips.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A woman enjoyed taking trips
With an eye to a guy ‘tween her hips.
Pick her out in the line
At the counter — the sign?
She’s the one can’t stop licking her lips.
This woman enjoyed taking trips
And she had body art neath her hips
And the artist so dumb
At the back of her bum
Had freely embellished two lips.
A fellow who took many trips
To clubs where a young lady strips
Got the fright of his life
Recognising his wife
Both dancing and pulling large tips.
A fellow who took many trips
Over global cuisine smacked his lips
He travelled to Britain
And forthwith was smitten
With a craving for fried fish and chips
Astronomers like to take trips
To see every solar eclipse.
To witness totality
In any locality
They travel in trains, planes and ships.
A fellow who takes many trips
For his firm, who make magnetic strips
(For smart cards, with circuit
Embedded, to work it)
Goes to Thailand to buy microchips
A fellow who took many trips
Also locked many lips
To the unwilling
He found it fulfilling
But has many bruises on his hips
A lady who took many trips
Had to discourage drunken old rips
With hauteur she would glare –
A basilisk stare! –
At fellows who made risqué quips
A fellow frequently trips
Because he frequently sips
From a bottle of wine
With mushrooms so fine
To sense a reality eclipse.
A fellow who took many trips
Felt guilty for he often sleep
Woke up with grunt
For missing the fun
By nature he just could not help it
A fellow who frequently trips
Is so clumsy with such a habit
Knocks into tables
Upset lots of people
Grins but not bothered one bit
Hank
A fellow who frequently trips
While watching a lunar eclipse
Once found himself mooning
A lady cartooning
Who smacked him then drew on his hips
a fellow who took many trips
(and along the way kissed a few lips)
found late in life
it hard to find a wife
with the reputation of taking so many sips
Old Tim Leary took too many trips
While on acid his mind did some flips
Took a trip to Cape Cod
And thought he saw God
Both inside a bag of kettle chips
A lady who took many trips,
Would land on her rear from such slips,
With little to fear,
Since her padded rear,
Would accomadate friends’ S-M whips.
To buffet Jane took many trips
For more of those tasty beef tips
She kept up the pace
It was a close race
Went straight from her lips to her hips
A gal who enjoys taking trips
Gave a bartender really big tips
She gave him her number
An invitation to slumber
While his pants she dreamily unzips.
A gal who enjoys taking trips
To warm climes to take naked dips
She was really a tease
No guy would she please
Left the water and gave them all flips.
A gal who enjoys taking trips
Before boarding had too many nips
She’d flirt without shame
But took all the blame
For kissing the guys with hot lips.
A fellow who took many trips
Got sequestered and did double flips
He went into a rage
Was put in a cage
Before finally coming to grips.
A stripper who frequently trips,
Has her breasts grazing men’s hungry lips.
Her clients are jerks,
But this really works.
These “Stumbles” are raising her tips.
That fellow who frequently trips
And linguistically makes lots of slips
Should try a new style
Of pants for a while
Since buttons are safer than zips.
An investor who took many trips
Owned many quite valuable scrips
Which highly were scoring
(Sorry, this is so boring)
If they suffered no stock exchange blips
A lady who took many trips
Taught jam-making, passing on tips
Marmalade: not abstruse!
Simmer sugar; lemon juice
Orange rind, thickly sliced — and the pips!
A skater’s mom takes many trips
To watch her do axels and flips.
She uses these missions
To judged competitions
To watch out for digital slips.
Over words the comedian trips
At the clubs he mangled his quips
Jokes just wouldn’t align
Wouldn’t know a punch line
If it hit him square between the hips
In the ‘fifties young sweethearts made trips
To the cinema just to lock lips.
Too young for the sack
They’d smooch at the back
Not stopping for popcorn or chips.
Some cars aren’t ideal for long trips.
They look like old cartoon space-ships.
For more miles per litre
Drive something that’s neater –
Keep hot rods for cruising the strips.
Historians made lots of trips
To Troy to find cheeks, eyes and lips
Of beauty divine
But found less than nine
That might launch a few dozen ships.
A fellow who frequently trips
With reality could not come to grips
He sought acid and shrooms
And opium blooms
To give day to day living the slips
A fellow who frequently trips
To the John eats too many chips
Chocolates, Deep Frys
Biscuits and Pies
And plenty of Cheesy Dips.
As Sue pointed out in her verse
The occasion to get out one’s purse
And buy treats for one’s mother
Is a date wholly other
Here in the UK — so perverse!
To England of centuries ago
The roots of the custom we owe
With the spring wind a-wuthering
Girls would go home “a-mothering”
Bearing posies on mums to bestow
Am I a pedant? No, no!
There again — [lets her pedantry show]
The name here for this fun day
Is Mothering Sunday
When to “mother church” one should go
Now the date of this happy event
Is always fourth Sunday in Lent
I won’t get all religious
And write screeds prodigious
But with lunar phases ’tis blent
Easter Day is the date, once released
Makes binding on vicar and priest
Holy days fore and aft
So — I know it sounds daft —
Mothers’ Day is a moveable feast
My career lets me take lots of trips.
I tend bar on some cruise-liner ships.
I like it a lot
‘Cause there’s nothing so hot
As a drunk girl with really big tips.
I’m wondering what I can say
On the subject of next Mothers’Day
I extend all my Love
To Mums here and “above”
WIth showers of blessings on way.
On some of these bartending trips
I meet girls with slim hips and full lips.
If they’re pretty and young
(Since I’m very well hung)
Sometimes I’m the one giving big tips.
Craig D has been taking some trips
And meeting some girls with nice hips
When they’re young and pretty
He tries to be witty
Saying “I’m Houlahan call me ‘Hot lips'”
A fellow who frequently trips
could not account for his slips.
A friend who could see
said, “It’s plain as can be.
Your lips take in too many nips.”
The astronomer’s too frequent trips
To savor Miss Moonbeam’s sweet lips
Were the proximate cause:
He forgot Kepler’s Laws
And was late for the solar eclipse.
Aron Ralston’s on one of his trips,
Canyoneering; a massive rock slips
And pins down has arm.
Escape means self-harm –
Thank goodness it’s north of his hips.
The computer rep took many trips,
Packing memory cards in his grips.
With each service call done,
Every client, bar none,
Would tell him, “Goodbye, Mr. Chips.”
People who take many trips
Know alot and have great travel tips!
They agree with gusto,
That an AGS show
Has great gerbils and makes new friendships!
A fellow enjoys taking trips
And says that before modern ships’
Invention, vacations
Were cheaper sensations,
“‘Cause each cruise was on sail,” the man quips.
A bookmaker cheating with tips
Made illegal signs with his lips
If it’s winning I’ll pout
I will smile if it’s out
If it’s nobbled I’ll wiggle my hips.
A gal who enjoys taking trips
Finds eating out bad for the hips
She has a salad first course
Then the fish with no sauce
And the pudding she just simply skips.
A gal who enjoys taking trips
To casinos world over for chips
Enough to buy horses
For running tough courses
And doesn’t care who/what she whips.
A fellow who took many trips,
Watched far too much Youtube for clips
Of the places he toured,
So he ended up bored —
Deprived of some great Serendips.
Watch out for those travel hook-ups, Craig:
A fellow on one of his trips
Took a girl from the neon-lit strips
To a no-tell motel…
Now he doesn’t feel well;
Plus his pecker’s turned purple and drips.
And while we’re on the subject:
Our neighbors bring back from their trips
Strange parasites, fevers and grippes;
The last they’ve run by us is
Schistosomiasis
(*Their* parties everyone skips).
Entomologists make flying trips
To the rain forest, where each tree drips
With insects bizarre,
Less buggy by far
Than house flies, mosquitos and thrips.
A girl who took many trips
got herself stuck midships
Said she to the barge
You have gotten quite large
and I can’t heave my ho with my hips
A fellow who took a few trips
was found making love on the strip
the sixties are over
and he lost composure
the year that they replaced his hip
a fellow who frequently trips
Met his friend on the deck amidships
“Nice to see you”, says he
“Should we meet up for tea?”
“Or a bite of their cake and some sips?”
Ta da!
A seaman took exotic trips
To ports on old rickety ships
They barely set sail
Thus starting this tail
From lips of his cabin boy, Pip’s
The behemoth with anger drips
Out of water it does daring flips
Enjoys wriggling about
Shoots water from spout
As tail from side to side whips
One day at point of full eclipse
From belly of beast a roar rips
He was calling his prey
In an awesome display
Setting off distant radar blips
In fear Ahab had too many nips
Of rum laced with fermented turnips
Went straight to the root
Drunk it out of a boot
The loose laces kept thrashing his lips
Day darkness gave Ahab the yips
Balked at pushing in all his chips
In that game of life
Cut deep like a knife
Like flesh from the bone it outstrips
The whale took one of its deep dips
Rose upward at record speed clips
Opened wide its jaws
The widest of maws
Before long the stern was in its hips
Through choppy waves Moby Dick zips
Still hearing old Ahab’s terse quips
It’s not a big shocker
In Davey Jones locker
That the Captain is pushing up tulips
(*Not spam*) Many people make trips
To Nevada, where all along strips
The ca$inos entice
With their slots, cards and dice,
Free drinks, good buffet food and … chips.
A lady who took many trips
Saved all her sucked orange pips
They were all-round her house
Until one day a mouse
Ate them and suffered the “ships”.
She’s made three cold-med-buying trips
To the drugstore but still her nose drips.
You’ve heard her loud cough
When not sleeping it off.
“Can a girl catch a man-cold?” she quips.
My friend goes on short hiking trips
And always her pack she equips
With clothing excesses,
Some maps, GPSs,
Her bird book, binocs, snacks and sips.
A comet makes regular trips
Round its orbit, a long thin ellipse.
To prepare for the day
Our earth gets in its way
We’ll need some apocalypse tips.
Those dear Jewish Mothers not meek
Expect phone-calls three times a week
But it’s not a good habit
To call on the Sabbath
They won’t pick the phone up to speak.
A fellow who frequently trips
Often a word or two slurs and slips
Unable to spell would be one thing
But with a mike – don’t let him sing,
Especially Karaoke with those trembling lips!
©JP/davh
Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, The Mother’s Day-themed Limerick Award Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners!
Limerick of the Week 113
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Buff