MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is yards and/or gardens. First, my limerick: 

I admit that I’m bad with a rake,
And disposing of leaves makes me quake.
So that pile—I ignored it,
But then was rewarded
With saplings—benign neglect’s wake.

And here’s my haiku: 

Milk, juice, chicken breasts
Plunged into backyard snow drifts:
My fridge on the fritz.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about yards and/or gardens. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: This post was inspired in part by Read Write Poem’s tree prompt and Sunday Scribblings’ rooted prompt.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your yard and/or garden-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Gardening Humor, Trees and Plantings, Benign Neglect, Kitchen Verse, Refrigerator Poetry, Fridge Poems, Backyard Snow

Rising-star raves,
Hype, sticks and stones, has-been whispers:
Celebrity press.

(This haiku was prompted by sticks and stones and rising.  And speaking of prompts, I just posted a new limerick and haiku prompt. Its theme is age and/or life stages.)

Technorati Tags: Celebrities, Celebrity Poem, Media Haiku, Press Humor, Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is age and/or life stages. First, my limerick:

“Let’s begin at the top of the page,”
Said the coach to the gals on the stage.
“You’re supposed to be teens.
You should know what that means.
So I’m begging you—please—act your age.”

And here’s my haiku:

Cranky digestion
Recalcitrant intestines
Aging wastefully.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about age and/or life stages. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your age-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Age Humor, Digestion Humor, Teens, Acting Limerick, Theater Humor, Theatre Verse, Writing Prompts,

I worked as a lawyer for over a dozen years, but I’ve never been a judge.  And that’s probably just as well.  Because my rulings might sound something like this:

If I Were A Judge…
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your argument doesn’t make sense.
It’s absurd and illogical. Hence,
I must find for the plaintiff.
You’ve lost this insane tiff.
You simply don’t have a defense.

Both Totally Optional Prompts and Miss Rumphius prompt poets to write as somebody else this week.  So I’ve posted as an ornery judge … instead of my usual ornery self. 

And speaking of prompts, there’s still time to participate in my walking-related prompt.

Technorati Tags: Judge Humor, Legal Arguments Humor, Judicial Poetry, Law Verse

Neither desiring
Nor requiring power:
Truly empowered.

(Inspired — and empowered — by this Writers Island poetry prompt.  And speaking of prompts, there’s still lots of time to participate in my latest walking-themed prompt.)

Technorati Tags: Empowerment Poem, Power Verse, Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is walking. First, my limerick:

Ode To A New York City Walk Signal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh WALK light, you change way too fast.
Your pedestrian green doesn’t last.
You force me to run
Cross the street, which ain’t fun.
So thanks for this cumbersome cast.

And now, my walking-related haiku:

Solitary stroll
To escape the telephone.
Cell phone outsmarts me.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about walking. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: My Ode To A New York City Walk Signal limerick is an apostrophe.  And no, I’m not referring to a punctuation mark.  Miss Rumphius tells us that an “apostrophe is a poem which directly addresses a person or thing that is generally absent.” So I thought I’d address one to a walk signal that’s tormented my husband and me for years.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your walking-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Walking Humor, Pedestrians, Traffic Lights, Poetry Prompts, Cell Phones, Solitude, Traffic Signals, Poetry Forms, Apostrophe

This week’s challenge over at 3WW is to write something that uses these three words: Apology, Consider, and Distant. Here’s my limerick:

Rejected Apology
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your apology isn’t enough.
You always act distant and gruff.
You never consider
My feelings.  I’m bitter.
So stuff it.  Enough with your guff!

And speaking of challenges, there’s still time to participate in my time-themed poetry prompt.

Technorati Tags: Apology Limerick, Argument Verse, Relationship Poems, Writing Prompts

Puzzle completed.
One lonely piece left over.
Unsolved mystery.

(Inspired by this Weekend Wordsmith prompt: Unneeded Puzzle Piece. And speaking of prompts, I’ve posted a new poetry prompt whose theme is time.  I hope you’ll give it a try.)

Technorati Tags: Jigsaw Puzzles, Creative Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is time. First, my limerick:

No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye…
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m late and I can’t miss this train!
It’s arrived, and I’m here, yet in vain:
I must climb down these stairs,
But some guys, broad as bears,
Have me blocked—all my plans down the drain.

And now it’s time for my time-related haiku:

Time passes too fast.
I’d surely bitch about it,
If I just had time.

And now it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about time. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your time-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Poetry Prompts, Time Pressures, Train Travel, Commuting Humor

Two legs — once scrawny,
Now attractively muscled.
The up side of stairs.

(Inspired by three prompts: Write An “Ode To A Body Part” over at Read Write Poem; Manic Monday’s ”Two” and Writers’ Island “Changed.”)

And speaking of prompts, please give my latest haiku and limerick prompt a try.

Technorati Tags: Physical Humor, Body Verse, Writing Prompts

Those imagined slights:
Often more insidious
Than the real ones.

An imagined slight,
Paranoiac reaction—
His girlfriend no more.

(Written in response to 3 Word Wednesday’s Prompt — “Girlfriend, Imagined, Slight.”  I prefer the first one, even though it’s missing one of the three words.)

And speaking of prompts, I hope you’ll give my haiku and limerick prompt a try.

Technorati Tags: Imagined Slights, Writing Prompts

Weekend Wordsmith presents a challenging prompt this week — write a 6-word memoir. Is it cheating to write two of them,  a career memoir and a personal one? I hope not, because that’s what I’ve done.

Six-Word Memoir 1: Musical stage.  Injury — rage.  Internet page.

Six-Word Memoir 2: Born old.  Found love, laughter — reborn.

And speaking of prompts, please give mine a try.

Technorati Tags: Six-Word Memoir, Writing Prompts

Street Metal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While I drive, I espy something bright.
To avoid it, I swerve to the right.
People honk. (It’s New York.)
Then I see — it’s a fork
In the road.  That’s what made me uptight.

(Prompted by Writers Island.)

And speaking of poetry prompts, there’s still lots of time to participate in my latest prompt.  My topic is decisions and indecision. (Although I usually post prompts every Friday, my current prompt will remain open until February 1 because I’ll be traveling.)

Technorati Tags: Fork In The Road, Driving Limerick, Car Verse, Automobile Poem, New York Poetry, Poetry Prompts, Crossroads Humor

Trash Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

On  trash day I set a tv
On the curb and before I could flee,
A neighborhood jerk
Yelled, “How well does it work?”
Guess he wanted a signed guaranty.

Streets lined with garbage:
Discarded chairs, broken lamps.
Scavengers’ treasure.

(Prompted by  Easy Street’s To the Curb and Writer’s Island Treasure.)

Technorati Tags: Garbage Humor, Annoying Neighbors,  Trash Poems, Scavenger Verse, Sanitation Day Satire

As I shower
Poems pour out from parts unknown,
Demanding to be shared.

Still, I linger.
Verses taunt me: “Write us down.
Your thoughts, they must be bared.”

End of shower.
Laptop beckons. Towel’s dropped.
I’m free — my poem’s been aired.

(Sara asks: What Poetry Means To Me.  Now you have my answer.)

Technorati Tags: Poetry’s Meaning, Inspiration, Free Verse

My resolution:
No more resolutions
I can’t keep, like this one.

If you missed my satirical New Year’s Resolutions Contract, it’s here.  And I hope you’ll join in on my latest haiku and limerick prompt, whose theme is lies and deception.

(This haiku was inspired by Sunday Scribblings and by Read Write Poem, which is back in business thanks to Deb of Stoneymoss.)

Technorati Tags: New Year’s Resolutions Verse, Sunday Scribblings, Read Write Poem, Holiday Haiku Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is lies and deception. First, my limerick: 

“Your excuse simply can’t be believed.
You’re a liar! I feel quite deceived,”
Said the gal, as she wept,
To her lover, who’d slept
With her mother. (I guess she was peeved.)

And now, my haiku:

People who maintain
That they are always honest
Are surely lying.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about lies and deception. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Technorati Tags: Lies, Deception, Betrayal, Relationship Haiku, Lover’s Quarrel

I love 3 Word Wednesday! Just like last week, it presents three words to be used in a poem, and a haiku immediately writes itself in the word order presented.  Weird, huh?

This week’s words are button, luck, and pretend:

Button up your lips
And, with luck, we can pretend
This never happened.

Technorati Tags: Secrecy Haiku, Silent Verse, 3 Word Wednesday

When prompted to use the words curious, eventually, and shower in a poem, this haiku more or less wrote itself:

I am curious:
Will you eventually
Shower?  I hope so.

And here’s another haiku, this one inspired by an earth-themed prompt:

There’s no earthly way
I’d ever vote for global
Warming deniers.

Technorati Tags: 3 Word Wednesday Prompt, Writers Island, Cleanliness Humor,  Shower Verse, Global Warming, Earth Poetry

Ev’ning argument.
Sleepless night, anger unchecked.
Early morning frost.

(Probably not the sort of frost this prompt has in mind.)

Note: There’s still time to participate in my latest haiku and limerick prompt.

Technorati Tags: Argument Haiku, Anger Haiku, Frost