Archive for the ‘Food & Drink Humor’ Category
Saturday, June 24th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRINK or DRINKS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TASTE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TASTE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: ACE, AFRAID, FUNCTION, JADED, UPSET.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 23, 2023 , right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 22, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRINK/DRINKS-Rhyme Limerick:
A nurse who appears on the brink
Of a breakdown stopped seeing her shrink.
“He’s been making me worse,”
She asserts with a curse.
“Plus he claims that I drove him to drink.”
And here’s my TASTE-Themed Limerick:
A gal with a poor sense of style
Hadn’t bought any clothes in a while.
So she purchased a dress,
A bright red, tasteless mess,
Way too ugly and gross to defile.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I’m afraid that I’m being replaced
Based on nothing important; I’ve aced
All my functions and more,
Yet they’ve shown me the door.
Their grievance? They claim I eat paste.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Competition Limerick, Drinking Limerick, Fashion Humor, Job Humor, Job Loss Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Mental Health Humor, Nurse Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Shrinks, Taste Humor, Workplace Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Fashion Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 131 Comments »
Sunday, June 11th, 2023
I like dining on Asian cuisine,
Cooked with chicken or beef that is lean,
While chewing the fat
In a this-and-that chat
At our house. (I’ve the stay-at-home gene.)
Tags: Asian Food, Beef Humor, Chicken Humor, Conversation Humor, Genetics Humor, Home Limerick, House & Home, Spicy Food
Posted in Communication Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Food Leanings (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023
I used to hate brocc’li. No more!
It’s a food that I’ve come to adore.
But only if made
By my Mark: Well-sautéed,
Hot and spicy, and garlicked full-bore.
Happy “We Love Broccoli Day!” (March 22)
Tags: Broccoli Day, Broccoli Limerick, Cooking Humor, Cooking Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Husband Limerick, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, We Love Broccoli Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Life With Mark And Madeleine, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Personal | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 4th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SCENE or SEEN or OBSCENE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WHEELS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WHEEL-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
MEAL, FAN, WATCH, BUSINESS, SLEEP
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 2, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 1, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SCENE or SEEN or OBSCENE-Rhyme Limerick:
A young fellow, no more than nineteen,
Would steal golf carts and often be seen
Careening around
On his campus. He’d found
A trump card: His dad was the Dean.
And here’s my WHEELS-Themed Limerick:
When I ask for the wheel, you refuse me.
“Backseat driver,” you say? Don’t accuse me!
I’m in front, so your claim
Is abusive and lame.
It’s so foolish, you almost amuse me.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
Ever been to a bus’ness lunch? Yuk!
You’ve one scheduled? You’re stuck? Well, good luck!
I’m no fan of such meals,
Where you’re s’pposed to make deals,
Watch your manners, and NEVER say “Fuck!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Business Humor, Business Limerick, Competition Limerick, Dining Humor, Driving Humor, Driving Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Golf Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Poetry Prompt, Theft Humor, Theft Limerick, Wheels Humor, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Car & Driving Humor, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 148 Comments »
Thursday, February 9th, 2023
A lawyer whose molar was aching
Lambasted a bakery’s baking:
Said his tooth had been marred
By a dangerous shard—
A shakedown, methinks, in the making.
(National Toothache Day falls on February 9.)
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Dental Humor, Dentist Humor, Dentist Limerick, February Holidays, Food Humor, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Limerick, Tooth Humor, Tooth Limerick, Toothache Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on A Cooked Up Complaint? (Limerick)
Monday, February 6th, 2023
When I first had “hot” food, I went wild.
(The cuisine I’d grown up with was mild.)
From then on, I sought “spicy
And hot,” which is dicey.
Ask a “French chef” for zesty? He’s riled!
Tags: Food and Drink, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food Limericks, Food Poem, Food Verse, French Cuisine, Hot And Spicy Food Day, Spices Humor, Spicy Food
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Hot For Hot Cuisine (Limerick)
Monday, January 23rd, 2023
Dear pie-loving people, rejoice!
It’s “Pie Day,” a day to give voice
To your fondness for pie
And to tell us all why
You actu’lly eat it by choice.
(National Pie Day is celebrated on January 23.)
Tags: Celebrations Poetry, Food Humor, Food Limericks, January Holidays, National Pie Day, Odd Holidays, Pie Day, Pie Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, November 15th, 2022
I had some internal rhyme fun with this limerick. (Happy “National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day!”)
When a woman attempted to cram
Her fridge with an over-sized ham,
Plus some lamb, SPAM, and yams,
Sev’ral jam jars and clams,
The door jammed on her very first slam.
Tags: Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Fridge Humor, Fridge Limerick, Kitchen Humor, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Odd Holidays | 3 Comments »
Saturday, November 5th, 2022
A fresh donut was found in the grass,
Not yet fettered by insects en masse.
Who’d abandon a tasty
Sweet treat? Seems a hasty
Retreat must have caused this to pass.
National Donut Day a/k/a National Doughnut Day falls on two days a year: November 5 and the first Friday of June.
Tags: Donut Day, Donut Humor, Donut Limerick, Doughnut Day, Doughnut Limerick, Food Humor, June Holidays, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Pastries
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Donut Daze (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2022
This limerick is a very compressed version of a necktie adventure with hubby Mark. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate “International Necktie Day.”
“You MUST wear a necktie to enter,”
Mark was told. He’s a necktie dissenter,
But he re-tied his tie
Till our drinks were dropped by,
Then removed it — my waitress tormenter.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, International Necktie Day, Necktie Day, Necktie Humor, Necktie Limerick, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Tie Humor, Tie Limerick, Ties
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 17th, 2022
“I’ve a hunch you had pasta for brunch.
There are stains on your clothing — a bunch.
And they’ll never come out;
Of that fact there’s no doubt.
You should learn not to leak when you lunch.”
*****
Happy National Pasta Day! (October 17)
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, National Pasta Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Pasta Day, Stains, Stains Humor, Stains Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Celebrating Pasta (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2022
The oatmeal you served me was stale!
And my dinner? How dare you serve kale!
The meals here don’t thrill me.
You trying to kill me?
Better not, or I’ll see you in jail!
*****
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
Tags: Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Customer Humor, Customer Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Kale, Kale Day, Kale Humor, Kale Limerick, National Kale Day, Oatmeal Humor, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Odd Holidays | 2 Comments »
Friday, September 30th, 2022
A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Holidays, Food Humor, Food Limericks, Food Poem, Food Verse, Odd Holidays, Rolls Humor, Rolls Limerick, Rolls Verse, September Holidays
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Half-Baked Limerick
Saturday, September 10th, 2022
It’s “Banana Day,” giving me a great excuse to bitch about bananas. (It’s lucky that Mark and I like them at different stages of ripeness. Otherwise, they’d all end up tossed into the garbage.)
“You should eat that banana today,”
Says Mark. “Ugh, it’s TOO ripe,” I say.
“It peaked overnight.
Now it’s yours. Have a bite!
It’s perfect for you; old and gray.”
Tags: April Holidays, August Holidays, Banana Day, Banana Lovers Day, Bananas Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food Verse, Fruit Humor, Fruit Limerick, National Banana Lover's Day, Odd Holidays, September Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Eat A Banana? Nah! (Limerick)
Saturday, September 3rd, 2022
An Orthodox woman was shakin’;
She’d been saved by a stranger from breakin’
Sev’ral bones in a fall.
The stranger (quite tall)
Said “No handshake? I just saved your bacon.”
******
“International Bacon Day” is celebrated on the first Saturday in September each year.
Tags: Bacon Humor, Bacon Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, International Bacon Day, Odd Holidays, Religion Humor, Religion Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Religion Verse | Comments Off on Hold The Bacon! (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 24th, 2022
A mother-to-be gave a shiver.
Her whole body was soon all-aquiver.
She sobbed: “As predicted,
My diet’s restricted.
Doc told me it’s time to de-liver.”
Tags: Confusion Humor, Confusion Limerick, Diet Humor, Diet Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Maternity Humor, Maternity Limerick, Miscommunication Humor
Posted in Communication Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on The Confused Mom-To-Be (Limerick)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BARS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BARS-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SHOP, RUN, NEWS, WARNING, FIRST.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 21, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 20, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE-rhyme limerick:
A man who was rather a flake
Would beef about folks eating steak:
“When you chew, cows can feel it,”
He’d hiss. “As for veal, it
Is worse, so I cotton to snake.”
And here’s my BARS-themed limerick:
A pub owner often stole cars,
Pricey paintings, and sometimes guitars.
He neglected his tavern,
Which looked like a cavern.
Fin’lly caught, he is now behind bars.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
“Don’t go running with knives,” parents warn.
Their children’s response? Often scorn:
“How ’bout scissors?” they query,
Which makes one mom weary:
“Should have stopped with my very first born.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Badly Behaved Children, Beef Eaters, Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Flakes Humor, Food Poem, Food Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Snake Limericks, Steak Humor, Steak Limerick, Vegetarians Humor, Warnings Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 177 Comments »
Thursday, June 2nd, 2022
When I heard that a neighborhood bum
Had been nicknamed “Free Spirit” by some
Of his pals, I asked “Why
Give that tag to the guy?”
Their response? “He enjoys stealing rum.”
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Beverage Humor, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Nickname Humor, Nickname Limerick, Rum Humor, Rum Limerick, Theft Humor, Theft Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on An Apt Tag (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2022
It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.
Tags: Asparagus Day, Asparagus Humor, Asparagus Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food Verse, May Holidays, Odd Holidays, Vegetable Days
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Not Celebrating Asparagus (Limerick)
Saturday, May 21st, 2022
An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.
Tags: Animal and Pet Humor, Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Bad Behavior, Beef Humor, Behavior Humor, Bird Humor, Bird Limerick, Birds Humor, Crows, Eating Crow, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Fowl Humor, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Know-It-Alls, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Meat Humor, Poultry Humor, Wordplay, Wordplay Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Wordplay | Comments Off on A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)
