Repellent Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“DC’s broken right through to the core,”
Yell Republican pols as they pore
Through old laws they’d repeal
(Who needs the New Deal?)
Determined to break it some more.
Archive for the ‘Political Verse’ Category
Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida
Sunday, July 14th, 2013Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’d rather shoot people than skeet,
And enjoy killing folks on the street,
But you don’t want to pay
Any price, come what may,
Then Florida’s (f)laws can’t be beat.
*****
Florida-style “Stand Your Ground” laws encourage the aggressive use of firearms based on vague (often bias-inspired) suspicions. And jury verdicts, like George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the Trayvon Martin murder case, only serve to further encourage and rubber stamp murderous behavior.
Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)
Monday, July 8th, 2013The Kansas legislature, in its great wisdom, recently passed a law allowing gun owners to carry weapons in public buildings. And surprise, surprise, insurance companies think this is dangerous.
The EMC Insurance Cos. insures 85 percent to 90 percent of all Kansas school districts and has refused to renew coverage for schools that permit teachers and custodians to carry concealed firearms on their campuses under the new law, which took effect July 1. It’s not a political decision, but a financial one based on the riskier climate it estimates would be created, the insurer said.
Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In municipal spots, like a school,
Concealed weapons in Kansas are cool.
But the pols that decreed this
May soon have to heed this:
They’ve entered a sky-high risk pool.
“You are too great a risk,” said the co
That insured Kansas schools. What a blow!
“We do NOT mean to screw you,
But just can’t renew you.
It’s financial — a matter of dough.”
Forrest Knox, who’s an NRA shill
And the fellow who sponsored the bill
That started this mess,
Says insurers should bless
Teachers toting their weapons at will.
“This will make us all safer,” he swears.
“What do carriers know about scares,
And dangers and risk
And hazards. Tsk-Tsk!
I know better than they!” he declares.
What’s next? It remains to be seen.
At the least, it will take far more green
To insure any school
Where an NRA tool
Hides a gun in her purse or his jean.
A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
Friday, June 28th, 2013Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:
A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:
Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.
You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.
In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.
Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.
From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.
If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.
The Supreme Court Preclears Voter Suppression (Limerick)
Thursday, June 27th, 2013The U.S. Supreme Court’s hypocritical demolishment of the Voting Rights Act, followed by a rush by certain states to impose discriminatory voting restrictions, inspired this three-verse limerick:
The Supreme Court Preclears Voter Suppression (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sev’ral states who once had to preclear
Any voting law change, gave a cheer:
The Supremes set them free
To restrict votes with glee,
Which they’re doing with plans in high gear.
In its holding, both sneaky and bold,
The Sup Court said the formula’s old,
And so need not be heeded–
A new one is needed:
It freed states to fair-voting withhold.
Some are doing just that with great speed,
Which proves that old formula’s need–
That it wasn’t outdated:
Bad intent’s unabated,
And there’s nothing to stop its stampede.
Goodbye Limerick For Michele Bachmann
Thursday, May 30th, 2013Minnesota’s Michele Bachmann has decided not to seek a 5th Congressional term. So it’s time for a goodbye limerick:
Goodbye Limerick For Michele Bachmann
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Michele Bachmann, you’ll surely be missed.
You’ve provided such humor mill grist.
But we mockers are blessed
With a huge treasure chest
Of wingnuts at whom to get pissed.
Louie Gohmert is tops on that list.
Ted Cruz and Steve King still exist.
So we’ve fodder galore;
Finding humor’s no chore
With a party like yours in our midst.
Open Limerick To Anthony Weiner
Thursday, May 23rd, 2013The audacity of politicians never ceases to astonish me. And Anthony Weiner’s run for New York City Mayor is only the latest example. I just don’t see how he can ever live down his Twitter scandal, and I say that as a New Yorker and former fan.
Open Limerick To Anthony Weiner
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mr. Weiner, I once was a fan;
You’re an outspoken, liberal man.
But I’m sorry –you’re screwed
By the “ick” factor, dude,
So your mayor plans simply don’t scan.
An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 1st, 2013Even though I have no use for porn, I do have a soft spot for Hustler publisher Larry Flynt.
Why?
1: Throughout the George W. Bush administration, he linked to my parody Dubya’s Dayly Diary from the home page of his personal site.
2: Larry Flynt is a lefty who pulls the occasional very amusing stunt.
Larry Flynt’s latest caper is an obviously satirical endorsement of former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford in his race against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for U.S. Congress.
He couldn’t possibly have given Elizabeth Colbert Busch a lovelier gift.
Sanford, who gained national prominence in 2009 as governor of South Carolina when he abruptly abandoned his duties for a secret rendezvous with his mistress, is currently running against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District seat. The election will take place on May 7.
In a statement released today, Flynt calls Sanford “the sex pioneer of our time.” In Flynt’s eyes “no one has done more to expose the sexual hypocrisy of traditional values in America today. Sanford’s open embrace of his mistress in the name of love, breaking his sacred marriage vows, was an act of bravery that has drawn my support.” Chastising the Republican Party for not backing Sanford following his run-off victory, Flynt declared: “I am willing to step in and stand erect for Mark Sanford.”
An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man known for porn — Larry Flynt
Has endorsed Gov. Mark Sanford in print,
As a “sex pioneer,”
With a glint and a leer.
Endorsements like this you can’t mint.
King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 17th, 2013Rep. Steve King (R–Iowa) is a perfect example of how NOT to react to the Boston bombings. According to the fence and deportation-loving Steve King, the mere possibility that the bomber(s) might be foreign means that immigration reform should be delayed and that reform could endanger the public.
King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Give Steve King a terrific ovation
For his masterful bomb exploitation:
In the absence of facts,
He conflates the attacks
With immigration reform in our nation.
He’s been anti-reform all along.
Now he sings a delay-reform song,
Cuz the bomber, he claims,
Might be foreign. He aims
To spread terror himself — that’s so wrong.
Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 9th, 2013There’s a striking difference between the website homepages of the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) and the NRCC (National Republican Congressional Committee): The most prominent words (by size and location) on the DCCC site are Democrats 2014. But the only reference to Republicans on the NRCC site is buried on the bottom in the “paid for by” disclaimer.
So, do House Republicans have something to hide?
Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems the NRCC’s feeling shame:
How else to explain that the name
Of its party’s not bold,
But lost under the fold
Of a site meant to shore up its game.
Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
Monday, April 8th, 2013Once again, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is making threats about filibuster reform — this time with noise about the “nuclear option.” All I can say is: Blah, blah, blah!
Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Harry Reid is again voicing threats
To reform Senate rules. Oh yes, let’s!
But his words have no stock,
As Republicans block
Most Dem action — abuse Reid abets.
Rebootus Interruptus (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013As long as the GOP’s packed with headline-grabbing wingnuts like Michele Bachmann, the Republican reboot’s going nowhere:
Attention, GOP: Your rebranding attempts are being undercut by a segment of your party getting big headlines and lots of airtime — a segment symbolized by the Minnesota quote-machine, Rep. Michele Bachmann. Due to a series of gaffes, she is again on the receiving end of criticism, including from Fox News powerhouse Bill O’Reilly. The congresswoman is also, as reported by The Daily Beast’s John Avlon, “embroiled in a litany of legal proceedings related to her rolling disaster of a presidential campaign — including an Office of Congressional Ethics investigation into campaign improprieties.”
…She speaks in apocalyptic terms about President Obama and Democrats. She has never met an inaccuracy or exaggeration she didn’t like in her thirst to negatively define the other side. (Fact-checkers following her speeches may soon have to seek workmen’s compensation.)…
Rebootus Interruptus (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP wants to reboot—
Switch its image from crazy old coot
To something appealing,
More meanness-concealing—
A change that its zealots refute.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
Monday, April 1st, 2013If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.
