Archive for the ‘Limerick Writing Contest’ Category
Sunday, July 8th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was proud of his skill…*
or
A woman was proud of her skill…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Skill
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was proud of his skill
In drafting the hand-crafted will:
“I’ve perfected this science,”
He’d brag, but his clients
Took ill at the sight of his bill.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bills Humor, Law Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Legal Limerick, Limerick Contest, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Skill Humor, Talent Humor, Wills, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 100 Comments »
Saturday, July 7th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A moody young deb with a ‘tude
Found regattas could lighten her mood:
“Strokes and coxswains galore –
Each will put in his oar –
One can be so deliciously crewed!”
Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A prudish young woman with ‘tude
Almost never was in the right mood.
Finding headaches passé
Her excuse was to say
“Doggie-style, when not yoga, is lewd.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jamie Hutchinson, Marla Turner, VerseBender, Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty, Edmund Conti, Jason Talbott, and Jane Auerbach. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jamie Hutchinson:
The sexy librarian’s ‘tude
Had a way of improving your mood:
You’d hand her a book
And receive such a look
That you felt both checked out and renewed.
Marla Turner a/k/a Uhave2laff:
A moody young woman with ‘tude
Had a curfew she really eschewed.
Her mother said, “Ten!”
She laughed and said, “Men?”
Then sat back as her mom came unglued.
Versebender:
A moody young woman with ‘tude
Would string along dude after dude.
She’d flirt and she’d tease
As if eager to please.
But the lady stayed coyly unscrewed.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty:
A moody young woman with ‘tude,
In line for the john, ballyhooed,
“Yo there, bride and your groom:
Get yourselves a real room.
There are others who want to be loo’d.”
Edmund Conti:
An earnest young poet with ‘tude
Said, I know I’m about to be screwed
For posting so late
On Madeleine’s slate.
My poem won’t be liked or be viewed.
Jason Talbott:
A moody young fellow with ‘tude
Once complained that he hated the food
Which was served at his school.
But the lunch lady’s rule:
You complain, you’ll be one hungry dude.
Jane Auerbach:
A moody male model with ‘tude
Was chagrined when the audience booed.
On a catwalk he’d tripped,
And his pants front had ripped,
Shredding padding on parts best unviewed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Edmund Conti, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Auerbach, Jason Talbott, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Marla Turner, Nan Reiner, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, July 1st, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A moody young woman with ‘tude…*
or
A moody young fellow with ‘tude…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick ‘Tude
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A moody young model with ‘tude
Got involved with a dangerous dude.
He shot her undressed
And later confessed:
“Her depression kept killing the mood.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Crime, Limerick Contest, Models Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Violence Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 113 Comments »
Sunday, July 1st, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was putting on airs
At society ballroom affairs:
“I’m seeing a gent
From the point-one percent;
It’s beneath me to date millionaires.”
Congratulations to Bob Dvorak who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was putting on airs
And padding her modest upstairs.
The guy on her date
Found this all out too late.
‘Twas a package of buyer B-wares.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Jason Talbott, Craig Dykstra, Patrick McKeon, Johanna Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Chris Doyle:
An attorney was putting on airs
To impress his new right-wing confrères:
“Screw the ACLU!
I’m preparing to sue
In high court for my right to arm bears!”
Jason Talbott:
A fellow was putting on airs
As a master of plumbing repairs,
But his ego was crushed
When the toilet was flushed
And the payload still flowed down the stairs.
Craig Dykstra:
A pro bowler was putting on airs:
“I love women – alone or in pairs.
When I see one I like
I can score with one strike,
And I’m quite good at picking up spares.”
Patrick McKeon:
A woman was putting on airs
As she slowly ascended the stairs
But her cover was blown
When the glass floor had shown
That the dress is quite all that she wears.
Johanna Richmond:
Jan Brewer is putting on airs.
It’s a win for the states, she declares!
The republican style
(Ignore facts with a smile)
Suits this queen of right-wing derrieres.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A hunter was putting on airs.
He’d shot moose and he’d wrestled with bears.
Then a tiny grey mouse
Appeared in his house
And he fled to the top of the stairs.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty
A fellow was putting on Airs,
But his wife flashed disparaging stares.
“Get the shoes if you like,
But you won’t play like Mike
Even if you buy fifty-nine pairs!”
Jamie Hutchinson:
Viagra is putting on airs
With old couples who dash up the stairs.
Why, the ladies, you’d think
Had grown a new pink
And the gents had developed new pairs!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Chris Doyle, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Patrick McKeon, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 24th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was putting on airs…*
or
A fellow was putting on airs…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Airs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was putting on airs
And attracting a whole lot of stares.
She puffed and she preened,
Till from warnings she gleaned
That behind her were lurking three bears.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Bears Humor, Behavior Humor, Limerick Contest, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Wild Animals Poetry, Wildlife Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 122 Comments »
Sunday, June 24th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SisterAE who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who was never in doubt
Left his wife with a permanent pout.
Every secret he’d share,
And cute tips (like you care!)
On the things he knew nothing about.
Congratulations to Scott Crowder who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who is never in doubt,
Is a man we can all live without
Because he’ll refuse
To see other views,
And learn what real life is about.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathy El-Assal, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Patrick McKeon, VerseBender, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and Linda Fuller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kathy El-Assal:
When young she was never in doubt
About getting a surgical pout.
Now with lips like a fish
This actress’s wish
Is not to resemble a trout.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy was once never in doubt
That he just wasn’t really that stout,
Till he could not dislodge
Himself from his Dodge.
Triple A had to come pry him out.
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was never in doubt
Would pound on his bible and shout:
“If the Lord walked today
He would punish the gay.”
Then his elderly mother came out.
Versebender:
A man who was never in doubt
As to what this old world is about
Said, “Listen, my son
To Rule Number One:
Only money provides you with clout.”
David McCormick:
A Lim’ricker, never in doubt
That this week, his verse would win out,
Reached the end of line 3
BUT THEN ACCIDENT’LY
HIT CAPS LOCK AND WAS TOLD NOT TO SHOUT.
Linda Fuller:
A man who was tortured by doubt
Joined a cult and became quite devout.
He gave them his money,
Ate raw eggs with honey
And worshipped a virginal trout.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: David McCormick, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, SisterAE, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was never in doubt…*
or
A gal who was never in doubt…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Doubt
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chef who was never in doubt,
When challenged would glower and shout.
To the slightest critique,
He’d respond with great pique.
But the fellow could sure dish it out.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Chef Humor, Criticism Humor, Critics Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Self-Doubt, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 76 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who is very astute
Knows that sometimes it’s best to stay mute.
If your girl asks on chat,
“Do you think that I’m fat?”
Just pretend that you have to reboot.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who was very astute
Had dress stores that made lots of loot.
The women would flock
To buy a new frock,
For his clerks were well hung and quite cute.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrick McKeon, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Scott Crowder, Jamie Hutchinson, Johanna Richmond, and VerseBender. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was very astute
At a concert for lute and for flute,
Knew the show would be bad
And the audience mad,
So he brought a large crate with bad fruit.
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A girl who was very astute
Was also alarmingly cute.
She’d use men for their money
By promising honey–
When promise time came she would scoot!
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was very astute
Received very little repute.
And because of her dress,
She is doomed to earn less
Than a swinging dick wearing a suit.
Jamie Hutchinson:
The trombonist was very astute,
Placed behind the young belle who played flute:
He worked his big slide
Without letting it ride
And “protected” the girl with a mute.
Johanna Richmond:
A gal who was hardly astute
But knew how to wink and look cute
Morphed from sweet Miss Wasilla
To Fox News Attila;
We all wish she’d stuck to the flute.
Versebender:
A man who was very astute
Found his checkbook just did not compute.
So he said to his wife,
“I can’t for my life
Figure what you have done with our loot.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, June 10th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was very astute…*
or
A gal who was very astute…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Astute Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was very astute
Was stunned to be given the boot.
He dealt with that blow
By building a co
That sells shoes, so his job loss was moot.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Business Humor, Job Loss Humor, Limerick Contest, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Shoes Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Business Humor, Contests, Fashion Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 79 Comments »
Sunday, June 10th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A congressman shooting the breeze
With an intern said, “Look at this sleaze!
The press keeps on beating
My colleague for cheating —
Perhaps you should get off your knees.”
Congratulations to Bruce Niedt who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was shooting the breeze
With the man on the flying trapeze,
But her chat with her friend
Had a very sad end —
You can’t text while you hang from your knees.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Richard Schear, Jason Talbott, Linda Fuller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Richard Schear:
A fellow was shooting the breeze
With talk of the birds and the bees.
His wife overheard,
But said not a word,
For she knew he had no expertise!
Jason Talbott:
A woman was shooting the breeze,
Speaking French with her man overseas,
Never once disagreeing,
The main reason being:
Her boyfriend speaks only Chinese.
Linda Fuller:
A fellow was shooting the breeze
With a winsome young thing named Louise,
Whose looks were deceiving.
The chap yelled while leaving,
“You win some, I lose some, you tease!”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was shooting the breeze,
But he missed and shot down sev’ral trees.
Friends asked, “Man, are you blind
Or just out of your mind?”
He yelled, “Y’all heard me tell it to freeze!”
Colleen Murphy:
A woman was shooting the breeze,
Discussing the habits of bees.
“Imagine the scene
Where I could be queen
And bring all the men to their knees!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Daniel Ari, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Richard Schear, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was shooting the breeze…*
or
A fellow was shooting the breeze…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Shooting The Breeze
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was shooting the breeze
With a man who was down on his knees.
He’d planned to propose
But got bored, so he rose
And explained he’d been looking for keys.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Boredom, Bores, Communication Humor, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationships Poetry, Talkative, Wedding Proposal Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 91 Comments »
Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow came forth to be wed
By a judge before whom he had pled
So often that now,
When asked for his vow,
By habit “Not guilty!” he said.
Congratulations to John Peter Larkin who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was planning to wed
And visions of bliss filled her head.
But it all came to naught
When her lover was caught
With the wife he’d neglected to shed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Richard Schear, Linda Fuller, Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was planning to wed
Till he found out they’d both been misled.
She said she was Doris.
Turned out she was Horace.
And he was an Alice, not Fred!
Richard Schear:
A fellow was planning to wed
A girl who was all in his head.
He thought, “No big deal
If she is unreal.
At least she won’t nag me in bed.”
Linda Fuller:
A woman was nervous to wed
A man with a nose cherry red.
Was it booze? Inflammation?
A freaky mutation?
Or should he be pulling a sled?
Elaine Spall:
A fellow was planning to wed
And pleased when his fiance said,
“I don’t think I can swap.
I just must be on top.”
Then he found out she bought a bunk bed.
Johanna Richmond:
Mister Romney will now try to wed
Mainstream views to extreme things he’s said,
But Ayn Randian mean
Is a bitch to scrub clean;
Ain’t no hosing that tea from his bed.
Robert Schechter:
A woman was planning to wed
A man who was thoroughly dead.
“The long and the short is
I love rigor mortis,”
She winked. “It’s so useful in bed.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Elaine Spall, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Richard Schear, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 10 Comments »
Sunday, May 27th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was planning to wed…*
or
A woman was planning to wed…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Wedded Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was planning to wed
A gal rather awful in bed.
When he gave her a sex book,
Her answer was textbook.
So he married the author instead.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Books Humor, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sex Humor, Textbook, Wedding Humor, Wedding Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 103 Comments »
Sunday, May 27th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Robert Schechter who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A virgin who tried to persuade
His friend that last night he’d been laid
Answered this when his chum
Asked him, “Well, did she come?”:
“Of course she did! What’s more, she stayed!”
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow who tried to persuade
Me to guess at how much his wife weighed
Didn’t mention that she
Was right there behind me.
I got smacked. Guessed too high, I’m afraid.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jim Delaney, Mary Rosenthal Mansfield a/k/a Write Wing Conspiracy, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Craig Dykstra, Scott Crowder, and Bruce Niedt. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jim Delaney:
A fellow once tried to persuade
His wife that his train was delayed,
But his place on the map
(From his GPS app)
Gave the lie to his shabby charade.
Mary Mansfield:
A fellow had tried to persuade
His girlfriend to let him get laid,
But his kinky sex game
She found totally lame,
Now his ecstasy must be hand-made.
Phyllis Sterling Smith, a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman who tried to persuade
Bill collectors that bills had been paid
Sailed off on a cruise
Where they found out her ruse
So de-shipped her and left her to wade.
Craig Dykstra:
The drill sergeant tried to persuade
His young private that haste should be made.
“I don’t mean to shout,
But I need to point out
That’s the pin you threw, not the grenade!”
Scott Crowder:
A fellow who tried to persuade
His wife to lie back while he played,
Like a pirate and plunder,
Her treasures down under,
Was stopped by a Navel blockade.
Bruce Niedt:
Two fellows once tried to persuade
Their dates they were both macho-grade.
But the gals looked and sniggered
‘Cos they had them figgered –
One swaggered, the other sashayed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Craig Dykstra, Jason Talbott, Jim Delaney, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mary Mansfield, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Schechter, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Saturday, May 19th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who tried to persuade…*
or
A fellow who tried to persuade…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Unpersuasive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who tried to persuade
A banker to come to her aid
Got no help with a loan—
Not so much as a bone.
No bucks for her horse bus’ness. Nayed!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bank Humor, Banking Limerick, Business Loan Humor, Horse Humor, Limerick Contest, Loans & Borrowing, Money & Finance Humor, Persuasion Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Business Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 112 Comments »
Saturday, May 19th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal in an overpriced store
Got stopped as she walked out the door.
“What alerted you, sir?”
“Well, you’re wearing a fur,
And it’s 98 out, if not more.”
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The Prez bought an overpriced store
Of supplies for the Middle East war.
The dealers were sharks,
The bombs missed their marks,
And the Congress declared, “Buy some more!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elizabeth Civinskas a/k/a Mrs.Smeej, Johanna Richmond, Bruce Niedt, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Daniel Ari, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elizabeth Civinskas:
A gal in an overpriced store
Said, shocked to the depths of her core:
“With prices so high
“There should be a guy
“To carry me in from the door.”
Johanna Richmond:
A man in an overpriced store
Embarrassed his wife to the core:
While the one percent stared,
Indiscreetly he aired,
“JC Penney’s got dresses galore!”
Bruce Niedt:
A gal in an overpriced store
Found herself a nice Christian Dior,
But they thought her a lout,
And said, kicking her out,
“You pronounce it cou-TURE, not cou-TOR!”
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A gal in an overpriced store
Tried a dress on so tight that it tore.
Embarrassed to death
She started on meth,
And pounds! Well, she lost ‘em galore!
Daniel Ari:
A man in an overpriced store
Said, “Show me some more, I implore.
This past Mother’s Day
I forgot. Now I’ll pay
Restitution by Christian Dior.”
Colleen Murphy:
A gal in an overpriced store
Somehow slipped on a spot on the floor.
Her lawyer she dialed;
A lawsuit he filed,
Which led to an overpriced score.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Daniel Ari, Elizabeth Civinskas, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 14 Comments »
Saturday, May 12th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal in an overpriced store…*
or
A man in an overpriced store…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Overpriced Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal in an overpriced store,
Who’d completely forgotten what for,
Told the clerk, “Can’t recall
Why I came here at all.
Just as well. If I could, I’d be poor.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brain Humor, Limerick Contest, Memory Limerick, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Shopping Humor, Stores Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Shopping Humor | 72 Comments »
Saturday, May 12th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Craig Dyskstra who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Met a blonde in a bar with a tan;
As we danced, she purred “I’m Maryanne.”
But the bar’s in Key West
So the rest you’ll have guessed:
That my tan Maryanne was a man.
And further congratulations go to Craig Dykstra who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award, but for a different limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
My freckle-faced girl can’t get tan,
So she sits in the shade with a fan.
She finally learned
That she’d only get burned.
She’s a ginger, she’s not Mary Ann.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elaine Spall, John Peter Larkin, Linda Fuller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Robert Schechter, and Patrick McKeon. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elaine Spall:
A guy with a very deep tan
Caught his tie on a new celing fan.
Such a costly mistake:
‘Cause his colour was fake
He spray painted the walls as he span.
John Peter Larkin:
A guy with a very deep tan
Tried out to be Marlboro’s man.
But, because of his cough,
His name was crossed off,
And that was the end of his plan.
Linda Fuller:
A gal with a very deep tan
Ate nothing but oatmeal and bran.
She tie-died her clothing
And felt a strong loathing
For food that came out of a can.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy with a very dark tan
Had left his four wives in Iran.
To be very specific,
They’d been too prolific
And he couldn’t afford a big van.
Robert Schechter:
A gal with a very deep tan
Encountered a dirty old man,
So brash and obscene he
Asked, “‘Does your bikini
Hide bronze, or a lily white can?”
Patrick McKeon:
A gal with a very deep tan
Had a different last testament plan.
Since her skin just like leather
Would hold out all weather,
It was left to a tent making man.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, Elaine Spall, Jane Shelton Hoffman, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, May 6th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal with a very deep tan…*
or
A guy with a very deep tan…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Sun-Tanned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal with a very deep tan
Was hoping to pick up a man.
But the guys got one look,
And that’s all that it took:
Wrinkled skin made her look like their gran.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: July 3rd is Stay Out Of The Sun Day.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, July Holidays, Limerick Contest, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Skin Damage, Stay Out Of The Sun Day, Sun Bathing Humor, Sun Tan Limerick, Wrinkles Poem, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Contests, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 77 Comments »
Sunday, May 6th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man had a notable knack
For catching fly balls in his crack.
Though poor with his hands,
He made many fans
In center field, facing the back.
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
As your parents, we know of your knack
For strange fashion and cut you some slack.
But this has to stop.
You’ve gone over the top,
And your mom wants her underwear back.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Cara Holman, Jim Delaney, Johanna Richmond, Les a/k/a Colonialist, Kathy El-Assal, and Linda Fuller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Cara Holman:
A gal had a notable knack
For putting her back out of whack.
So she took up Tai Chi
And now she’s pain-free
And hears nary a crack from her back.
Jim Delaney:
A man had a notable knack
For making his knuckle-joints crack,
Till he popped (for more thrills)
Nitroglycerine pills.
You can tell where he lived: there’s a plaque.
Johanna Richmond:
Said the man with a notable knack
For keeping his marriage on track,
“I keep things legato
With one simple motto:
Divides can be licked in the sack.”
Les a/k/a Colonialist:
A gal had a notable knack
For earning her cash on her back,
But please do not panic –
She was a mechanic,
And it was not done in the sack.
Kathy El-Assal:
The Koch brothers have quite a knack
For taking America back
To a previous time
When to vote was a crime
If you were a woman or black.
Linda Fuller:
A gal had a notable knack
For drawing men’s eyes to her rack.
But when she desired
To be less admired
She just up and let ‘em go slack.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Cara Holman, Colonialist, Craig Dykstra, Daniel Ari, Jim Delaney, Johanna Richmond, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 8 Comments »
