Archive for the ‘Health & Medical Humor’ Category
Friday, April 8th, 2011
After my first fun foray into acrostic limericks, I just had to try another:
Itching For Another Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bemoaning her red, itchy bites,
Undone by her sleep-deprived nights,
Gabrielle said, “No more!
Going out to the store.
You mosquitoes have earned your last rites.”
(More bug related poems here.)
Update: A case of insect revenge? Right after posting this, I noticed that my left foot was itchy and discovered my first mosquito bite of the season.
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, August Holidays, Bug Limerick, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Odd Holidays, World Mosquito Day
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Health & Medical Humor, Insect Humor, Light Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 13 Comments »
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”
(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)
UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Energy Verse, Exercise Humor, Gorgeous Grandma Day, Gym Membership, Health Poetry, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Seniors Humor, Vim And Vigor, Walking, Wordplay Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Exercise Humor, Gym Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Light Verse, Limericks, Odd Holdays, Physical Appearance, Relationship Humor, Seniors Poetry, Walking Humor, Wordplay | 8 Comments »
Friday, March 11th, 2011
I had such a good time with my Clichéd Limerick the other day, I thought I’d write another:
A Fit Over Fiddles
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hope you don’t think this a nit,
But cliché buffs should surely admit
That we need to part ways
With certain clichés:
Just how often do fiddles sound fit?
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
UPDATE 2: World Fiddle Day falls on the Saturday closest to May 19.
Tags: Cliché Day, Clichés Humor, Fiddle Day, Fiddles, Fitness Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Language Satire, May Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Violins, World Fiddle Day
Posted in Cliché Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Language Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays | 6 Comments »
Monday, March 7th, 2011
Raw Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Raw veggies are healthy, they say.
We’re advised to eat tons ev’ry day.
Plus dairy, grains, fruit,
Fish or chicken to boot.
The last two not raw — Hip Hooray!
(Written for the Sunday Scribblings’ raw prompt.)
Tags: Food Groups, Food Limerick, Health Limericks, Nutrition Humor, Raw Vegetables
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 14 Comments »
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!
I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!
And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:
Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.
And here’s my second limerick:
Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.
(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)
Tags: ABC, Andrea Canning, CBS, Celebrities, Charlie Sheen, Entertainment Limerick, Guardian, Interview Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Media Limerick, Mental Health, Muammar Gaddafi, TV Humor, Two and a Half Men, Warner Bros.
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrity Humor, Entertainment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insurance Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Letter Limericks, Limericks, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 18 Comments »
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
Feverish hostess
serves chickpeas dropped on the floor—
a guest spills the beans.
*****
Sick party-goer
coughs and sneezes on buffet—
chilly reception.
*****
The corner bakeshop
seems a buttery temptress,
but smells can deceive.
Pastries seduce, disappoint—
buttery temptress no more.
*****
My first memory:
the sound and the vibration
of a freight train’s roar.
Budding logic says, “Can’t be.”
Sensed pre-birth within the womb?
*****
(My second haiku was inspired by Haiku Heights’ cold prompt. My first memory tanka was inspired by Free Write Fridays and Monday Memories.)
Tags: Bakery, Food Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Hostess Haiku, Illness Haiku, Memory, Party Humor, Pastries, Pre-Birth, Tanka, Trains
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Memory Humor, Tanka | 13 Comments »
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was rather a scold…
or
A man who was rather a scold…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Scold
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was rather a scold
Berated her spouse o’er his cold:
“You’re sick all the time
Without rhythm or rhyme,
And your illness is getting quite old.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Health Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 45 Comments »
Monday, February 21st, 2011
Though I’m never safe,
his arms always comfort me,
and that must suffice.
*****
Ballroom dancing class—
learning creative ways to
defeat the rumba.
*****
Morning legs dangle
off the bed, as antique joints
brace for their touch down.
*****
Feeling elated—
great, yet dampened by knowing
what’s soon to follow.
*****
Poised atop mirage
of a career, gazing down
at life left behind.
*****
(I wrote the 1st haiku for We Write Poems’ safe prompt; the 4th haiku for Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s elation prompt; and the 5th haiku for One Single Impression’s top prompt and Haiku Heights’ mirage prompt.)
Tags: Aging, Arms, Career Poem, Dance Classes, Dancing Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health, Husband Wife Haiku, Legs Humor, Mood Humor, Rumba, Safety Verse, Workplace Poetry
Posted in Clumsiness Humor, Dance Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Leisure Time Humor, Lessons Haiku, Mental Health Humor, Personal, Relationship Haiku, Relationship Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 32 Comments »
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
My memory is so bad, that when I spotted the upcoming memory prompt at Haiku Heights I forgot the obvious — that the prompt was for haiku. Ah well, here’s my Bad Memory Limerick:
Bad Memory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My mem’ry is bad — getting worse.
It’s a failing I constantly curse.
I forget what I’ve done,
People’s names, whom to shun.
Now what was the theme of this verse?
(For those who can actually remember something, here’s a spot to post your memories in verse.)
Tags: Aging Limerick, Forgetfulness, Memory Limerick, Mental Health Satire, Poetry Prompt, Remembering Names, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Light Verse, Limericks, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 10 Comments »
Monday, February 14th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was on a campaign…
Here’s mine:
Healthy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was on a campaign
Which was driving her fam’ly insane.
Yes, her new “smart health” diet
Kept causing a riot:
Each dinner she served featured brain.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Diet Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Health Limerick, Obsession Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Obsessions Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 35 Comments »
Thursday, January 27th, 2011
Who needs to join a gym when you own a home in New York and experience … pardon my French … winter! Cardio? Check. Muscle building? Check. Seriously, there’s nothing quite like lifting a snow-packed shovel way over my head in my quest for a place to dump the damn stuff. I’m talking mountains of snow, some of it still lingering from December.
That brings me to my wintry mix of limericks:
I Need A Landlord, STAT
By Madeleine Begun Kane
While owning a home can be nice,
It isn’t all sugar and spice:
After snow and ice falls
There’s no landlord for calls
About shov’ling. That’s part of the price.
Lamentable Weather
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I know that it sounds like I’m wailing,
But it’s thund’ring and lightening and hailing.
It was snowing all day.
Now an ice storm? Okay,
It’s official. Can’t take it. I’m bailing.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Gym Membership, Health Limericks, Home Ownership, Ice Storms, Landlord Tenant Humor, New York City Verse, Shoveling Snow, Weather Humor, Weather Poem, Winter Humor
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 3 Comments »
Sunday, January 16th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A sports-loving fellow named Lee…
Here’s mine:
Sporty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A sports-loving fellow named Lee
Had a very bad elbow and knee,
Which he blamed on a fall
Suffered playing pro ball,
But he only knew sports from TV.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Liar Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Fans, Sports Humor, Sports Injury, Television Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Entertainment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Leisure Time Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 22 Comments »
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011
Big Tent Poetry prompts us to write poems about feet this week. My pal Amanda’s already composed one. So, why not a limerick?
Feet Trouble Afoot
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I can’t always rely on my feet.
When I dance, they say “Please take a seat!”
Though I stretch ’em and bend ’em,
I can’t seem to mend ’em.
Of foot, I confess, I’m not fleet.
Tags: Ballroom Dance, Exercise Humor, Feet Humor, Foot Limerick, Health Poetry, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Dance Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 14 Comments »
Sunday, December 5th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A jittery fellow named Fred…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Jittery Limerick (Jittery Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A jittery fellow named Fred
Had problems with sleeping in bed.
He could sleep on a chair
Or a stool — anywhere
But in bed, where things came to a head.
He was haunted in bed by his fears,
Whether sober or after some beers.
He would worry and fret—
Could not snooze on a bet.
And that’s how he lived for ten years.
But then podcasts came into his life.
(He’d heard about them from his wife.)
The discussions and talk
Made sad thoughts take a walk.
Now he slumbers in bed without strife.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Anxiety Humor, Insomnia Humor, Mental Health, Podcasts, Poetry & Prompts, Sleep Poetry, Stress Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 12 Comments »
Sunday, October 17th, 2010
Can’t Stomach This Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was feeling quite queasy,
And he blamed his five eggs over easy.
He complained to the chef,
Who yelled out for a ref,
And now both men are queasy and wheezy.
Tags: Chefs, Customers Humor, Fist Fights Humor, Food Verse, Health Limericks, Men, Restaurants, Upset Stomach Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse | 3 Comments »
Monday, September 20th, 2010
Rumor has it that fall will arrive on September 23rd. So I thought I’d celebrate with my Limerick Ode To Autumn:
Limerick Ode To Autumn
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feels like autumn — the walking is easy
Cuz it’s cool and it’s dry and it’s breezy.
But what do I spy?
Flying pollen — oh my!
Any minute I’ll surely be sneezy.
Tags: Allergy Humor, Autumn Poems, Fall Limerick, Hay Fever, Health Limerick, Outdoors, Seasonal Verse, September Holidays, Sneezing, Walking, Weather Poem
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 4 Comments »
Sunday, August 8th, 2010
One of my Facebook pals recently linked a Med-Guru article touting a breast-gazing study. Its conclusion? Staring at breasts is good for your health and increases your life expectancy. Just one problem — the study’s apparently a hoax or urban myth.
Of course, men can still try to use the “study” when caught ogling. My limerick should help:
Keeping Abreast of Breast Gazing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a study that strongly suggests
You’ll live longer from staring at breasts.
So guys, if your gal
Sees you leer that locale,
Just explain it’s your life span’s behest.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Boobs, Breasts Humor, Health Limerick, Hoaxes, Life Expectancy, Life Span Verse, Medical Studies Humor, Science Satire, Urban Legends, Urban Myths
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Relationship Humor, Science Humor, Social Satire | 8 Comments »
Monday, July 12th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy with his foot in a cast…
Here’s mine:
Lame Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy with his foot in a cast
Was driving his car way too fast.
His wheel struck a hole.
He lost all control,
And the time for a cast was surpassed.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Accident Poem, Automobile Humor, Car Limerick, Death Limerick, Health Limericks, Injury Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Friday, June 25th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who drank to excess…
Here’s mine:
Lush Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who drank to excess
Got to work in a state of undress:
Wore no shirt and no shoes,
Had a briefcase of booze
And, quite tipsy, said “Dress to impress.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, Appearance Humor, Booze Humor, Clothing Poem, Drinking Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Addiction Humor, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 26 Comments »
