Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category

Weirdness From George Will

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

I almost always disagree with George Will. So it pains me to say this, but George Will is right. I’m referring, of course, to Will’s column lamenting the Republican 2012 presidential prospects — more specifically, the “vibrations of weirdness emanating from people associated with the party.” He illustrates his column with recent Mike Huckabee and Newt Gingrich shenanigans. And he doesn’t sound all that thrilled with the rest of the Republican pack.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Weirdness from George Will
By Madeleine Begun Kane

George Will wrote a column with bite
On the GOP president fight.
He finds weirdness within
The candidate din.
Had to happen one day — Will is right.

Run, Newt, Run!

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Oh goody — Newt Gingrich is exploring the possibility of maybe, conceivably running for president. Either that, or it’s yet another of his book publicity stunts:

Run, Newt, Run! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Newt, I don’t care if you run—
Changed my mind — a Newt run would be fun.
Your divorces and scams
And your ethical jams—
I can’t wait to see just how they’re spun.

(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)

Limerick Ode To Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

I wrote this when the story of the Scott Walker / David Koch prank phone call first broke. But then I somehow forgot to post it. So a belated bravo to Ian Murphy of the Buffalo Beast for playing that entertaining and enlightening stunt on Scott “Union Buster” Walker. And now, at last, my limerick:

Limerick Ode To Wisconsin Governor Walker
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Walker has fallen afoul
Of a prank that made Democrats howl.
He lengthily spoke
To a pseudo Dave Koch,
Spouting schemes that make honest folk scowl.

Political Haiku Quartet

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Styrofoam is back.
“Green the Capitol” is gone.
Job, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs?

*****

Rotund Rush Limbaugh
says Michelle Obama’s fat—
that’s hard to swallow.

*****

Freedom from taxes
demanded by those who crave
what taxes give them.

*****

The mental midget
mentioned an affinity
with Rush — no surprise.

*****

Showing up to vote—
a yearly exercise in
unrequited hope.

*****

(More political haiku here. And more Rush Limbaugh humor here.)

Limerick Ode To John “So Be It” Boehner

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

No doubt you’ve heard about John Boehner’s “so be it” nonchalant reaction to the loss of federal jobs. It seems Boehner’s finished feigning compassion.

This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Limerick Ode To John “So Be It” Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Boehner’s known for his grief-stricken sobs,
For emoting through loose tear duct knobs.
Yet his eyes remain dry,
He refuses to cry
For Americans losing their jobs.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Christopher Lee (Updated — He’s Resigned)

Wednesday, February 9th, 2011

It seems Gawker’s got the goods on Rep. Christopher Lee, a conservative, married Republican congressman who serves the 26th District of New York. Apparently, “when he trolls Craigslist’s ‘Women Seeking Men’ forum, he’s Christopher Lee, ‘divorced’ ‘lobbyist’ and ‘fit fun classy guy’ — the sort of guy who’ll even email a shirtless photo to show just how ‘fit’ he is.

Congressman Lee is claiming to be innocent, blaming everything on his being hacked. Unfortunately, the hack post-dates the Craigslist missives. And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Limerick Ode To Rep. Christopher Lee
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The married conservative Lee
Is now weeping a sad “Woe is me!”
Claims his Craigslist transgressions
Were not indiscretions
But hacks jobs, with “proof” we can’t see.

UPDATE: Christopher Lee has resigned.

Celebrate Ronald Reagan’s Centennial With St. Reagan’s Song Parody

Sunday, February 6th, 2011

Ronald Reagan-worship is even crazier than usual this week. Why? Because it’s the one-hundredth anniversary of Reagan’s birthday. Of course, “Reagan was not the man conservatives claim he was.” Not even close.

Anyway, I was in the middle of reading about all the centennial hoopla, when I suddenly remembered St. Reagan’s Song — a song parody I wrote back in 2003 when CBS caved in to right-wing bullying over a Reagan miniseries. This seems like a good time to re-post my parody lyrics, which you can sing to Just You Wait” from My Fair Lady, by Lerner & Lowe:

St. Reagan’s Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’s a saint, Ronald Reagan, he’s a saint!
You’ll be sorry if you dare to say, he ain’t.
A fine bloke who’s kind and cunning,
Beat the Russians, great with money.
He’s a saint, Ronald Reagan, he’s a saint!

Reagan’s great, scream the wingnuts. Stop that flick!
Don’t you dare disparage Reagan. They’ll be ticked!
They’ll go off and say we’re haters,
Threaten boycotts, claim we’re traitors.
He’s a saint, Ronald Reagan, he’s a saint!

Praise Ronald Reagan!
How the right-wing loves to rewrite history.
Praise Ronald Reagan!
For it’s truth be damned. Old Ron ruled perfectly.

Don’t dare tell he sometimes frowned.
They’ll get stressed and go to town.
How they crow, Ronald Reagan.
Hate his foes, Ronald Reagan.
Ron’s
A
Saint!

They claim that he’s blameless.
What a whopper. What crock.
Go to such lengths to hype him.
Might well call him Saint Ron.

They swear that Ron Reagan’s great.
They’ll brook not a doubt.
And want all our nation his praises to shout.

They freak if a liberal dares say,
He’s not saintly or princely. No way!

They want networks to celebrate the glory of Ron.
If they don’t say he’s fabulous, then ads will be gone.
Thanks CBS for your cowardly cave.
Cause all I want is networks to be brave.

Find me a network that’s bold.
Now they run scared and they fold.

Wingnuts tell you Ronald Reagan’s ten feet tall.
And that Reagan is the greatest Prez of all.
We must lift his image higher.

Reagan’s
Most
Admired!

Don’t say nope, Ronald Reagan.
Ask the Pope, Ronald Reagan.
Ron’s
A
Saint!

Sharron Angle — You Can’t Make This Up

Monday, January 31st, 2011

In case you’ve been wondering what Sharron Angle’s been up to, I’ve got the answer: Senator Harry Reid’s former Republican challenger is giving speeches about makeup.

Yes, it’s hard to believe, but true. On January 21st, Angle spoke at a makeup convention in Las Vegas. Here’s how SeneGence International’s promotional material described Angle’s talk:

Sharron will be sharing her beauty and makeup challenges during the campaign and how she overcame them! She had confidence that she would look great with 14 -16 hour days & with numerous appearances daily… so can you!

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Sharron Angle — You Can’t Make This Up
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I vowed that I never would mention
Sharon Angle again — gives me tension.
But I just can’t resist
Her last gig which I missed:
A speech at a makeup convention.

John Boehner — Exceptionally Wrong

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Speaker of the House John Boehner apparently can sleep with his eyes open. How else do we explain his odd (and objectively wrong) criticism of Obama’s State of the Union Speech?

If there’s one thing President Obama did go on about a bit about in the State of the Union, it was American exceptionalism — as the National Journal’s Ron Fournier noted at some length.

Two who didn’t entirely notice were Speaker John Boehner and Kathleen Parker. From Parker-Spitzer:

BOEHNER: Well, they — they’ve refused to talk about America exceptionalism. …

It should also be noted that Obama called Boehner Speaker of “The Greatest Nation on Earth.”

Boehner’s nonsensical complaint inspired my latest limerick:

John Boehner — Exceptionally Wrong
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Exceptionalism was missing
From the SOTU says Boehner, dismissing
Obama’s big speech
Which he tries to impeach.
Not list’ning enables the dissing.

Limerick Ode To Paul Ryan

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

While listening to Rep. Paul Ryan’s (R – WI) State of the Union rebuttal, I realized that he has a certain charm. And that makes him unusually dangerous. Because though his Roadmap for America would be a disaster for this country, his personality could fool people into thinking it’s just what we need.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Limerick Ode to Paul Ryan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I hope that few voters are buyin’
The proposals from Congressman Ryan.
They’re extreme to their core:
Screw the middle class, poor,
And the sick and would cause lots of dyin’.

Rep. Broun’s SOTU Claptrap

Friday, January 21st, 2011

Although I have strong feelings about most things political, I don’t care whether Democrats and Republicans adopt Sen. Mark Udall’s (D-CO) proposal to sit together during Obama’s State of the Union address. I suppose it’s a nice civility gesture. But I just don’t think it makes much of a difference one way or another.

That said, I think the frequently uncivil Rep. Paul Broun’s (R-GA) reaction to the mixed seating proposal was absurd:

I already believe very firmly that it is a trap and a ruse that Democrats are proposing. They don’t want civility. They want silence from the Republicans. And the sitting together being kissy-kissy is just another way to try to silence Republicans, and also to show — to keep the American people from seeing how few of them there are in the U.S. House now. Then when people stand up to — what the Democrats are going to be doing when Barack Obama spews out all his venom, then, um, if they’re scattered throughout all the Republicans, then it won’t be as noticeable as if we’re sitting apart.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Rep. Broun’s SOTU Claptrap
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rep. Broun is a very odd chap:
Says mixed seating at SOTU’s a “trap.”
When “Obama spews out
All his venom” can’t shout.
Nearby Dems might force poor Broun to clap.

Want Tom In Prison — No Delay!

Monday, January 10th, 2011

In the wake of the Arizona shootings, there isn’t much news to celebrate in rhyme. But I finally came up with something: Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was sentenced to three years in prison for “conspiring to launder corporate money into political donations during the 2002 elections.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Want Tom In Prison — No Delay!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a glimmer of good news today:
It’s prison for Thomas DeLay.
His sentence? Three years.
So let’s hear it: Three cheers!
Please no stay! Want DeLay put away.

Intelligence Redesigned

Saturday, December 18th, 2010

I didn’t think Republicans could surprise me anymore. But I must confess to being stunned by Rep. Michele “Blabbermouth” Bachmann’s appointment by Boehner to the secretive House Intelligence Committee.

And it seems even Republican insiders share my astonishment:

Bachmann once suggested that Congress should investigate whether Democratic lawmakers were pro- or anti-America, and she’s been a cable TV favorite because she’s known for colorful sound bites.

On her Facebook page, Tea Party icon Bachmann said:

As a mother of five biological children and twenty-three foster children I pledge to do whatever I need to do to keep your family, my family, and the United States safe from harm.

I feel safer already. But I still had to write this limerick:

Intelligence Redesigned
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I don’t normally make much ado
‘Bout committee appointments. Do you?
But Intelligence? Bachmann?
That’s really a shock men.
I fear for its plunging IQ.

Booing Boehner’s Boo-Hooing

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

Gail Collins isn’t too impressed with incoming speaker of the House John Boehner’s Crying Game, and neither am I.

And Timothy Egan does a great job seeing through Boehner’s bountiful tears:

It’s when he talks about how he rose from his humble past — the son of a bar owner, one of 12 children who grew up in a small home with a single bathroom — that Boehner starts to weep.

“Making sure these kids have a shot at the American Dream like I did is very important,” he said, choking up, when asked on “60 Minutes” about his crying.

But a look at Boehner’s record during his two decades in Congress shows a man who has voted against nearly every boost for the working stiff. There’s no empathy for those with the longest shots at the American Dream in his voting pattern. Instead, we see a politician who is hard-hearted in his legislative treatment of the people now coping with the kind of economic conditions in which the Boehner family grew up.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Booing Boehner’s Boo-Hooing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rep. Boehner cries crocodile tears.
He’s been feigning compassion for years.
Though his tears say “he cares,”
His vote record blares
That he likes kicking poor folk downstairs.

A Pair of Limericks for a Pairless President

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

Unlike many of my fellow progressives, I never thought Obama was a liberal. But now I’m beginning to wonder if he’s even a Democrat. In any event, he certainly isn’t a leader.

Needless to say, I’m furious about the Bush tax cut extension deal Obama made with Republicans, and I’m glad that Speaker Pelosi is taking a strong stand against it.

Here’s a pair of limericks about Obama’s abject surrender to the GOP:

A Pair Of Limericks For A Pairless President
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, you’re being a heel
By making this terrible deal.
You’re acting the fool
With this “compromise” gruel
Which will damage our land’s commonweal.

Obama’s demeanor is frayed
He seems ornery, angry, dismayed.
Will he finally fight
The Republican right?
No, he’s mad at the Dems he betrayed.

Run, Sarah, Run

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Here’s a first: I actually agree with the Tea Party Nation. They think Sarah Palin should replace Michael Steele as RNC head, and so do I. Unfortunately, Sarah Palin’s nixed this idea, claiming that the main job is fund-raising and that others are more adept at raising money.

That’s odd because she sure is good at bilking the public raising money for herself.

And now, my latest limerick:

Run, Sarah, Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Tea Party Nation’s new mailin’
Says for RNC head it wants Palin.
Sarah sure sounds ideal
(Even better than Steele)
If the Dems want a shot at prevailin’.

(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)

Premature Concession Syndrome — A Remedial Limerick

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

I’ve finally figured out what’s wrong with President Obama: He suffers from PCS (Premature Concession Syndrome.) The latest example is his proposed federal employee wage freeze. But as Rachel Maddow said last night in her Charlie Brown commentary: “This White House consistently gives up its concessions at the start, before getting anything in return.”

Here’s hoping this open limerick to President Obama helps:

Premature Concession Syndrome — A Remedial Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, it’s Law 101
That in deal making don’t jump the gun:
Never give stuff away
With the hope that one day
You might get something back — this ain’t done.

Your opponent will simply want more.
He will threaten to walk out the door
Unless you accede
To his limitless greed.
Learn this rule or you never will score.

You claim that you earned a JD.
I’ve got one of my own, so you see
Why I don’t understand
How you fail to demand
Quid pro quo from the damn GOP.

An Ode To The Grand Old Sabotage Party

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

Are Republicans putting party before country? Are they deliberately sabotaging the economy and undermining our nation? Steve Benen makes a convincing case that that’s exactly what they are doing.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

An Ode To The Grand Old Sabotage Party
By Madeleine Begun Kane

For a GOP rise to the peak,
The economy must remain weak.
With the White House their goal
They gave up their soul,
Ensuring our future stays bleak.

An Open Limerick To Republican Supporters

Thursday, October 28th, 2010

As you know, I think Republican supporters are wrong about everything. But I have to assume they have a good faith belief that Republican pols want to make things better for the American people. And I’d like to think some of them would reevaluate their votes if they knew about the GOP’s real priority.

What am talking about? In an interview with National Journal, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has admitted to a totally different goal:

“The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president,” McConnell said, adding, “Our single biggest political goal is to give [the Republican] nominee for president the maximum opportunity to be successful.”

There’s no ambiguity here: Republicans are taking a strong stand for partisan politics over good policy. And that leads me to my latest two-verse limerick:

An Open Limerick To Republican Supporters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To those who are suff’ring frustration
And see GOP wins as salvation,
Those pols led by Mitch
Dragged us into this ditch
And will not do what’s good for our nation.

No, they won’t get us out of this hole,
Cuz McConnell has one single goal:
Make the Prez a one-termer,
He brags — does not murmur.
So please think when you go to the poll.

Alpha-Political Verse: Election 2010

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

Every so often I sum up a period in alpha-political verse. For instance, I did one about the opening months of the Obama administration. I also did two about the Bush administration, one a not-so-fond farewell to Bush and Cheney and the other a satirical summary of their disastrous first term.

This mid-term election period has been so bizarre, that I couldn’t resist doing another one:

Alpha-Political Verse: Election 2010
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A is for Alaska, whose incumbent needs good spelling.

B is for Barack. The GOP sure wants his dwelling.

C is for Christine who’s anti-gay and masturbation.

D’s for Delaware debates, where laughter ain’t ovation.

E is for elections. Dems lose bad — so say the seers.

F’s for foreign cash galore supporting GOPers.

G is for Glenn Beck and all the crazy stuff he says.

H is for Sec. Hillary. Too bad that gal ain’t Prez.

I’s for Darrell Issa who is itching to impeach.

J is for John Boehner — smells majority in reach.

K is for Ken Mehlman who is fin’ly out as gay.

L’s for Libertarians who, like Rand, to regs say “Nay!”

M is for Joe Miller — seems he doesn’t like the press.

N’s for Speaker Nancy P. Her House is sure a mess.

O’s For Bill O’Reilly versus Joy and Whoopi. Wow!

P’s for Paladino. Angry bully? Yes, and how!

Q’s for all the questions the extremists won’t address.

R’s for Reid’s tough Angle bout. I’m worried, I confess.

S is for Mike Steele who claims to run the RNC.

T is for the Tenthers and their anti-fed law spree.

U is for our Union which secessionists would flee.

V is for the voters drinking Kool-Aid-flavored tea.

W’s for the many wars we’re fighting — can’t keep track.

X is for the xenophobic anti-“other” pack.

Y is for the youth. We really need them at the polls.

And Z’s for right-wing zealots. We must squash their ugly goals.