Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category

Political Haiku Trio

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

As pandering pols
romance the Tea Partiers,
they imbibe madness.

*****

Tea Party blood lust:
Leave uninsured man to die —
GOP scares me.

*****

Republican pols
cater to greedy donors—
putting people last.

*****

(For more haiku, check out Sensational Haiku Wednesday.)

Hunting For Pro-Science Republicans (Limerick)

Saturday, August 20th, 2011

Luckily for Obama, Jon Huntsman is way too sane to snag the Republican Presidential nomination. For instance, on Sunday’s THIS WEEK with ABC’s Jack Tapper, Huntsman deplores the Republican Party’s anti-science drift:

HUNTSMAN: I think there’s a serious problem. The minute that the Republican Party becomes the party – the anti-science party, we have a huge problem. We lose a whole lot of people who would otherwise allow us to win the election in 2012. When we take a position that isn’t willing to embrace evolution, when we take a position that basically runs counter to what 98 of 100 climate scientists have said, what the National Academy of Science – Sciences has said about what is causing climate change and man’s contribution to it, I think we find ourselves on the wrong side of science, and, therefore, in a losing position.

Huntsman is certainly right about this disturbing trend. And that leads me to my latest limerick:

Hunting For Pro-Science Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The scientists can’t be believed,
And scholars sure leave them aggrieved.
Don’t trust any source—
That’s the GOP course:
Calling facts they don’t like ill-conceived.

Yet Another Debt Ceiling Limerick

Saturday, July 30th, 2011

Yet Another Debt Ceiling Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans love to proclaim
That uncertainty’s bad — that’s their game.
But one thing’s for sure:
Their proposed crisis cure
Leads to chronic uncertainty. Shame!

Limerick Ode To Timid Mitt Romney

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Not only does Mitt Romney have a bad habit of flip-flopping on issues, but he appears afraid to pick a position on the key issue of the day — the debt ceiling. Does he embrace John Boehner’s debt ceiling plan? Nobody knows (except maybe Mitt’s hairdresser) because Romney refuses to commit:

Limerick Ode To Timid Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Romney, it’s time to take heed:
The job of a leader’s to lead.
So for once be a man:
Do you back Boehner’s plan?
Not choosing’s a cowardly deed.

Limerick Ode To Unbalanced Republicans

Monday, July 18th, 2011

Obama threatened to veto that cockamamie Republican “cut, cap, and balance” bill.

Limerick Ode To Unbalanced Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republicans, please cut your crap.
Enough with your “balance,” “cut,” “cap!”
While you’re busily bashing
Obama, you’re crashing
Our credit and markets. What pap!

Paul Ryan, Educator???

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

The debt ceiling absolutely, positively must be raised to avoid a fiscal meltdown, and the Republican leadership knows it. But they’re saddled with a bunch of ignorant, “Tea Party” Congress-critters whose votes they desperately need.

Ironically, the job of educating them about debt ceiling realities has fallen to Paul Ryan, the Prince of Budget Misinformation.

Here’s what I’m wondering: The “Tea Party” nuts bought Paul Ryan’s lies. Will they believe him when he speaks the truth?

Paul Ryan, Educator???
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though the GOP leadership’s tryin’
To get Tea Party votes, they ain’t buyin’,
Cuz they’re itchin’ to spike
Any debt ceiling hike.
Now the burden to school them’s on Ryan.

Limerick Ode To A Republican Mess

Thursday, July 14th, 2011

Limerick Ode To A Republican Mess
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The debt ceiling battle keeps going,
And the risk of default keeps on growing.
The GOP team
Caused a crisis supreme.
And we’re all sure to reap what they’re sowing.

Mad Kane Welcomes Michele’s Mad Campaign

Monday, June 27th, 2011

I’m looking forward to following Michele Bachmann’s just launched presidential campaign:

Mad Kane Welcomes Michele’s Mad Campaign (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Michele Bachmann announced she’s in play,
And I welcome Michele to the fray:
Her positions bizarre
Will most certainly mar
The GOP’s comeback foray.

A Limerick Plea To Refocus

Saturday, June 11th, 2011

While Anthony Weiner has disgraced himself with his creepy online behavior, the Republican party disgraces itself every day with the policies it embraces. So it’s time to refocus on stopping Republicans from the horrific damage they do to the American people on a daily basis.

A Limerick Plea To Refocus
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Weiner’s cyber-sex sure creeps me out.
Disappointment in him makes me pout.
But overreaction
Has caused a distraction:
Must block laws that Republicans tout.

Revisionist History On Auto Pilot

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011

Remember when Republicans opposed the automobile industry bailout, slamming Obama for his “government takeover?”

Now that Obama’s auto industry rescue plan is a raging success, Republicans have acknowledged their error and congratulated Obama on a job well done, right?

Hahahahaha!

So can we trust the media to make sure Republicans like Romney, Corker, Pawlenty, Kasich, and their ilk don’t scam people into thinking the bailout was their idea?

You’re kidding, right?

Revisionist History On Auto Pilot
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So what did Republicans say
To auto co bailouts? No way!
But the past they would edit
And try to take credit:
It worked, so that plan was “their” play.

Happy Blame Someone Else Day (Tanka)

Friday, May 13th, 2011

Today, May 13th, is the first Friday the 13th of 2011, which makes it Blame Someone Else Day. I thought I’d celebrate it with a tanka (a haiku plus two more seven-syllable lines).

Blame Someone Else Day:
Annual celebration,
with one exception —
the Republican Party
commemorates it daily.

UPDATE: The next Blame Someone Else Day will happen in just eight months on Friday, January 13, 2012. So mark you calendars! If you don’t and you miss it, you’ll only have yourself to blame.

Limerick Ode To Bin Laden’s Death

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

Limerick Ode To Bin Laden’s Death
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans had a great plan:
Make Barack seem an alien man.
So bin Laden’s demise
(A stunning surprise)
Turns their plot to a flash in the pan.

How About A Hypocrisy Ceiling?

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

I love Mat Miller’s new definition of chutzpah:

Republicans who vote for the Ryan plan that adds trillions in debt and who then say the debt limit goes up only over their dead bodies!

That brings me to my latest Limerick:

How About A Hypocrisy Ceiling?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP debt-ceiling balkers
Are naught but hypocrisy hawkers.
Their plan adds eight trillion
(Not million or billion)
To the debt in a decade — Big Talkers!

Limerick Ode To A Government Shutdown

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

Limerick Ode to A Government Shutdown
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The thought of a government shutdown
Should be quickly, decisively cut down.
But I fear that we’re screwed
Cuz of Washington’s mood:
Boehner’s party has turned into Nut Town.

Radical Budget Haiku

Wednesday, April 6th, 2011

I didn’t think I could do it. But I’ve summed up the Republicans’ radical (Paul Ryan-authored) budget plan in a single haiku:

Republican plan:
End entitlements, send wealth
to entitled rich.

*****

UPDATE: Prompted by a poetry site to include this trio of words in a poem (adamant, fabricate, peculiar) I challenged myself to fit them all into a single haiku:

Republican pols —
peculiarly adamant
fabricators.

Newt Strikes Out Again

Monday, April 4th, 2011

I really have to give Newt Gingrich credit — he’s consistent in his visceral hatred for all things Obama. Here’s Newt’s latest gem of a quote in response to President Obama’s reelection campaign announcement:

“Here’s a president who 18 months before the election is going to use his office to extort contributions on a scale we’ve never seen before,” Gingrich said in New Hampshire where he addressed the Institute of Politics at St. Anselm College in Manchester. “He’s in effect trying to create a Chicago style machine for the whole country with a billion dollars.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Newt Strikes Out Again
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s another new Newt-think contortion —
(Newt’s brain cells seem packed with distortion.)
He was fine when Prez Bush
Had a fund-raising push.
Let a Dem do the same? It’s extortion.

Republican Priorities

Monday, March 21st, 2011

Republican Priorities
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Shall we immunize children? Heck no!
Supply food to the starving? No go!
Cuz Republicans say
That we’re broke ev’ry day,
As they help out the rich on skid row.

Brace For Another Pounding From Pound-Foolish Policies

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Ezra Klein makes some good points about Republicans and their penny-wise and pound-foolish budget-slashing:

There are three categories of spending in which cuts lead to more, rather than less, spending down the line, says Alice Rivlin, former director of both the Congressional Budget Office and the Office of Management and Budget. Inspection, enforcement and maintenance. The GOP is trying to cut all three.

This is no surprise coming from Republicans who worship at the altar of Ronald Reagan. After all, back in 1989 the GAO had plenty to say about the damage done by Reagan’s short-sighted cutbacks:

Charles Bowsher, head of the General Accounting Office, told Congress yesterday that Reagan-era budget cuts created a climate of lax oversight and mismanagement. He said Reagan’s effort to save some money through budget cuts is likely to cost another $150 billion in the 1990s.

“We have been penny wise and really pound foolish,” Bowsher said.

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Brace For Another Pounding From Pound-Foolish Policies
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Preventative spending is wise —
Lessens risk that disasters arise —
Forestalls flooding and fraud,
Outbreaks, tragedy broad.
Cut such spending? Huge costs in disguise.

Broken Priorities (Limerick)

Monday, March 14th, 2011

Steve Benen has some great comments about Republicans and their hypocritical “we’re broke” weaponry:

In December, when Republicans wanted an $858 billion tax-cut package, we weren’t broke. How much of that package did the GOP suggest we pay for? None of it. Not one penny. The costs were simply added to the deficit, and are the driving force behind the rising deficit estimates for this year, which have sent the right into such hysteria.

But now we’re so broke, we’re told, that we have no choice but to make brutal cuts to education, medical research, infrastructure, job training, and national security, all of which is projected to cost the economy hundreds of thousands of jobs.

Broken Priorities (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans claim that we’re broke,
But you know that they’re just blowing smoke.
Help Big Oil and the rich?
Then they pull a big switch,
And our budget’s no longer a yoke.

Newt’s Fishy Excuses

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

Have you ever answered a “what’s your worst fault” question from a prospective employer by mentioning a positive trait?

Newt Gingrich is apparently familiar with that technique. What else can explain the excuses he gave for having been unfaithful to two sick wives? It seems his infidelity was “partially driven by how passionately [he] felt about this country” and the fact that he “worked far too hard.”

So, you ready to hire him for the next White House opening? What about dog catcher?

Newt’s Fishy Excuses
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mr. Newt has an oddball excuse
For something that’s close to abuse:
Abandoning wives
Who were ill just derives
From his working too hard? How obtuse!

(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)