Posts Tagged ‘Marriage Humor’
Thursday, August 31st, 2023
There’s no evidence here! Not a shred
That the “victim” is actu’lly dead,
Let alone that her spouse
Is a murdering louse;
This poor widower LOVED being wed!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Crime Humor, Crime Limerick, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Murder Humor, Trial Humor, Trial Limerick
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on NOT The Best Defense (Limerick)
Saturday, July 29th, 2023
“Don’t marry that man: He’s a worm,
And a wiseass, a sneak, and a germ,
An incompetent crook,
And a sniveling schnook,
As most of his bookies confirm.”
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Behavior Humor, Behavior Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Personality Humor, Personality Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Marriage Advice (Limerick)
Saturday, July 22nd, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TESTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TEST-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: DUCK, GIFTED, JITTERY, MERGE, STAR.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 20, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 19, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE-Rhyme Limerick:
A woman would always wear suede,
Head to toes, both in sun and in shade.
Her spouse fin’ly snapped
Cuz her nighties were napped:
“Our marriage’s fabric is frayed!”
And here’s my TEST-Themed Limerick:
I once took an aptitude test
To learn what I’d likely do best.
The results? Useless crap!
‘Twas all over the map:
“NEVER NAVIGATE!” That’s what it stressed.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
When a jittery mother was told
That her daughter was gifted, she polled
All the parents she knew:
“Could it really be true,
Or do ALL kids get stickers of gold?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Aptitude Tests, Children Humor, Clothing Humor, Competition Limerick, Education Humor, Exams Humor, Fashion Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Navigation Humor, Poetry & Prompts, School Humor, Test Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Clothing Humor, Contests, Education & School Humor, Fashion Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 116 Comments »
Monday, June 26th, 2023
A fellow who’s known as a lush
Was downing his drinks in a rush.
“If I’m late,” he proclaimed,
“She who shall not be named
Says from now on she’ll ‘only serve mush!'”
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Drinking Humor, Drinking Limerick, Food Humor, Lateness Humor, Marriage Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Lush Limerick
Tuesday, April 25th, 2023
“I’ll get rid of that wasp nest. I’m on it!”
Said a man who was writing a sonnet.
“But you’re being a pest!
My verse has me stressed,
And I’m sick of that bee in your bonnet.”
Tags: Chores Humor, Chores Limerick, Idiom Limericks, Idioms Humor, Insect Humor, Insect Limericks, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Wasps
Posted in Chores Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Marital Squabble (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 10th, 2023
Madeleine: Nice job on yesterday’s Bee! You got some great words I missed.
Mark: But that makes no sense! I learned them from you.
Madeleine: I didn’t teach you those words. I transferred them.
Tags: Games, Life With Mark, Marital Humor, Marital Relationships, Mark Kane, Marriage Humor, Memory Humor, Words
Posted in Games Humor, Language Humor, Life With Mark And Madeleine, Marriage Humor, Memory Humor, Personal | Comments Off on More Life With Mark And Madeleine
Tuesday, November 29th, 2022
Shortly after I signed up with Mastodon (the Twitter replacement) I was invited to join a nice group of poets who use daily prompts to inspire haiku and other short verse. My inspiration for this limerick was the “fox” prompt:
Said a gal, as she tugged at her locks,
“My marriage to Rick’s on the rocks.
The last straw was last night:
We had a huge fight
Cuz he called our new neighbor a ‘fox’”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Marriage Verse
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022
I was inspired to write both a limerick and a haiku when encountering the #weird prompt in Mastodon:
When weirdness prevails,
invading lives ev’ry day,
is weirdness still weird?
and
Dear hubby, you look rather weird;
Can’t get used to your black and white beard.
A chin that’s hair-free —
What sheer joy that would be!
So how ’bout it? Let’s get your face sheared!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Beard Humor, Beard Limerick, Facial Hair, Haiku & Senryu, Haiku Humor, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Husband Humor, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Senryu, Senryu Humor, Weirdness
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Haiku & Senryu, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Weird News Snark | 1 Comment »
Thursday, September 29th, 2022
I hope my using new-to-me words won’t incite grumbling:
“Republican laws are draconian,”
Raged a man at his wife. “And demonian!”
She replied, “While that’s true,
I can NOT help but rue
Having married an old grumbletonian.”
Tags: Grumbletonian, Husband Wife Humor, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Political Arguments, Political Humor, Political Rants, Rant Humor, Rant Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 1 Comment »
Thursday, September 22nd, 2022
When hubby Mark and I watch comedy, his laughter sometimes obliterates the punchlines. And that gives me a good excuse to use another new-to-me word in a limerick:
Hubby Mark has an ear-splitting laugh.
Its volume is way off the graph.
To produce cachinnation,
He needs no libation…
So I call him my much louder half.
Tags: Cachinnation, Husbands and Wives, Laughter, Laughter Limerick, Loudness Humor, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Marriage Verse, World Laughter Day
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Life With Mark And Madeleine, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 3 Comments »
Saturday, August 6th, 2022
“I’ve been faithful! You’ve NOT been deceived,”
Said a gal to her spouse. “I’m aggrieved
And can’t handle your doubts,
Accusations, and shouts!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll soon be bereaved.”
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Argument Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Husband and Wife Humor, Marital Relationships, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on The Not So Happy Couple (Limerick)
Friday, August 5th, 2022
When a gal switched her major to art,
Her parents’ responses were tart:
“Paying bills is a bitch,
So you’d best marry rich.”
“Are you planning to clerk at the mart?”
Tags: Art Humor, Art Limerick, Career Humor, Career Limerick, Education & School Humor, Education Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Parenting Humor, Parenting Limerick
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Education & School Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 1 Comment »
Sunday, July 31st, 2022
When I starting drafting this limerick, I meant it to be a National Mutt Day verse. But it seems to have turned into something else:
I had many a mutt growing up.
My fav’rite behaved like a pup
Well into old age.
And my husband, who’s sage,
Takes his lead from that dog. Clever? Yup!
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Animal & Pet Humor, December Holidays, Dog Humor, Dog Verse, Husband Humor, Husband Limerick, July Holidays, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Marriage Verse, Mutt Day, Mutts Humor, National Mutt Day, Odd Holidays
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Mutt Memories (Limerick)
Thursday, June 9th, 2022
“My niece Mary’s a likeable lass
Who, alas, is engaged to an ass.
Though I’ve warned her, ‘Be wary,’
She’s anxious to marry.
What I need is a ‘Hail Mary pass.'”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Engagement Humor, Engagement Limerick, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Limerick, Hail Mary Pass, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, June 8th, 2022
Said a gal, “Please attend to that fly.”
So her husband looked down to comply.
“But it’s zipped,” he said, bugged.
(Nothing moved when he tugged.)
“You blew it. It flew in my eye.”
(On June 8, Canadians celebrate National Insect Appreciation Day — NAIAD.)
Tags: Bug Humor, Bug Limerick, Communication Humor, Fly Humor, Fly Limerick, Insect Appreciation Day, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, June Holidays, Marriage Humor, NAIAD, Odd Holidays
Posted in Communication Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2022
The aptly named newlywed, Dick,
Refers to his bride as a “chick”
And never extols her.
He boasts he “controls her”
By using “both carat and stick.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Dickish Limerick
Sunday, April 24th, 2022
He showed off his coat with a swagger:
“It’s a one-of-a-kind,” said the bragger.
Then he brandished a knife:
“I’ll use THIS on the wife!”
His behavior? Sub-par cloak-and-dagger.
Tags: Braggart Verse, Bragging Humor, Bragging Limerick, Cloak And Dagger, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Coat Humor, Coat Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Knife Humor, Knife Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Weapons Humor, Weapons Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Idiom Humor, Marriage Humor, Weapons Humor | Comments Off on Cloaked In Bravado (Limerick)
Thursday, April 21st, 2022
“I don’t mind that my new husband hoards
His numerous fencing awards.
But his weapon collection
Incites my objection…
And that’s where we often cross swords.”
Tags: Awards Humor, Awards Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Fencing Humor, Fencing Limerick, Hoarding Humor, Hoarding Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Swords Humor, Swords Limerick, Weapons Humor, Weapons Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on NOT On The Fence (Limerick)
Saturday, April 16th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WASTE or WAIST at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMMUNICATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMMUNICATION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 1, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 30, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WASTE or WAIST-rhyme limerick:
Said a fellow, “Alas and alack,
My new pants are too tight in the back
And the front of the waist.
(They were ordered in haste.)
I need someone to cut me some slack.”
And here’s my COMMUNICATION-themed limerick:
Dear hubby, you’re right in the kitchen,
And I’m elsewhere, so though you are itchin’
To share rumors or views,
A complaint or the blues,
I can NOT hear your news, schmooze, or bitchin’.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alterations Humor, Clothing Humor, Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Pants Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Slacks Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Communication Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 157 Comments »
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022
Margarita’s a fave in our house.
If I drink one in bars, though, I’ll grouse;
They are weak and too sweet
And consistently beat
By the great ones prepared by my spouse.
(Happy National Margarita Day, which falls each year on February 22.)
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Alcohol Verse, Bar Humor, Drink Verse, Drinking Limerick, February Holidays, Holiday Humor, Liquor Humor, Margaritas, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Tequila, Triple Sec
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy Margarita Day (Limerick)
