Archive for the ‘Battle of the Sexes’ Category
Sunday, December 19th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was showing some thigh…
Here’s mine:
Leggy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A young gal who was showing some thigh
Caught the eye of a very cute guy.
But alas he lacked nerve—
Failed to speak up with verve.
He could NOT even muster a hi.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Men and Women Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Shyness, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 17 Comments »
Tuesday, November 30th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was planning a trip…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
A woman was planning a trip,
When her husband said, “Please, get a grip.
Our bank account’s low.
We have one-way cash flow.”
But his wife said, “Enough with your lip!”
“You’ve been wasting our cash at the track
And on poker and possibly crack.
I’m sick of this life
And of being your wife.
So goodbye, it is you who should pack.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Travel Limerick, Trip Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Travel Humor | 15 Comments »
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A frazzled new father named Jim…
Here’s mine:
Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Update: May 2 is Baby Day.
Tags: Baby Day, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, May Holidays, Model Trains Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Monday, October 25th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was late for his train…
Here’s mine, and my audio version is here. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was late for his train.
Being tardy was always his bane.
In his youth and his prime
He was rarely on time,
Which drove his whole fam’ly insane.
After years of his lateness, his mate
Lost her mind — she was way past irate.
Using all of her might
She beat him for spite.
Now that fellow’s eternally late.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Habits Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Lateness Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Time Verse, Trains, Transportation, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Procrastination Humor, Time Humor | 30 Comments »
Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
Slovenly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose shirt was all stained
Saw his lovely wife’s look — it was pained.
“You’re so messy with pasta,”
She chided him. “Basta!
You’re just like your dad — it’s ingrained.”
UPDATE: National Pasta Day is October 17 and World Pasta Day is October 25.
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Poem, Eating Limerick, Food Poem, Grooming Verse, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, National Pasta Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sloppiness, World Pasta Day
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Clumsiness Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Fashion Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, October 17th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose car had been towed…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Pigheaded Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose car had been towed
Freaked out when he heard what he owed.
“Highway robb’ry,” he yelled.
Then he sued — price upheld,
Plus penalties — made him explode.
So he threatened to file an appeal,
Though his wife said, “Enough! Make a deal!”
He responded, “No way!
I simply won’t pay.
Let them keep my damn automobile.”
But then he was hit with a lien.
And his wife said, “You see what I mean?
End this now or perforce
I will sue for divorce.”
That’s what comes of the stubbornness gene.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Car & Driving Humor, Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Stubbornness, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Car & Driving Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 18 Comments »
Monday, October 11th, 2010
It’s time for another Limerick-Off. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An attractive but cold-hearted tease…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Teaser
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Could manipulate fellows with ease.
She’d always get favors
In all sorts of flavors.
The guys? They got naught but the freeze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Males and Females, Men and Women Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 23 Comments »
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who readily cried…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Weepy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who readily cried
Never learned to take movies in stride.
She would feel oh so low
And her tear drops would flow
When a character sickened or died.
She’d weep for the good guys and bad—
Did not matter — they both made her sad.
How her husband freaked out
When she sobbed for a lout
Like a killer or mean, deadbeat dad.
He told her, “You’re acting insane.
Is there something amiss with your brain?
Please don’t cry for a villain
Who merits his killin’.
Put clamps on your waterworks main.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Tags: Crying, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Tears, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Monday, August 30th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was known for his buns…
Here’s mine:
Hot Crossed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was known for his buns
Attracted most gals — even nuns.
How those dames would delight
In his ass oh so tight,
Ignoring his poor half-baked puns.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Update — Note: I will soon start announcing these Limerick-Offs via private email instead of FB messaging, because FB group messaging anti-spam policies are making it very difficult for me to send legitimate messages out to groups of twenty. (My Facebook Straits recounts just some of my difficulties with FB’s anti-spam controls.)
So if you’d like to receive private email notices letting you know I’ve posted a new Limerick-Off first line, please send me a private email to MadKane@MadKane.com with the subject line “Limerick-Off Announcement Request.” Thanks very much!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Baking Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Food Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Puns, Wordplay, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Wordplay | 23 Comments »
Sunday, August 8th, 2010
One of my Facebook pals recently linked a Med-Guru article touting a breast-gazing study. Its conclusion? Staring at breasts is good for your health and increases your life expectancy. Just one problem — the study’s apparently a hoax or urban myth.
Of course, men can still try to use the “study” when caught ogling. My limerick should help:
Keeping Abreast of Breast Gazing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a study that strongly suggests
You’ll live longer from staring at breasts.
So guys, if your gal
Sees you leer that locale,
Just explain it’s your life span’s behest.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Boobs, Breasts Humor, Health Limerick, Hoaxes, Life Expectancy, Life Span Verse, Medical Studies Humor, Science Satire, Urban Legends, Urban Myths
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Relationship Humor, Science Humor, Social Satire | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy in a polka dot tie…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.):
Dotty Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt stylish, though heaven knows why.
His jacket was garish.
His pants were nightmarish.
And non-matching sneakers — oh my!
Yet he sat around mocking the gals
With some equally odd-looking pals.
“She’s too thin. She’s too fat.”
“She’s an ugly old bat.”
Can’t imagine their warped rationales.
Why do fellows behave in that way —
Scorning gals who look cuter than they?
Do they all need a shrink?
I sure hope they don’t think
It will lead to a roll in the hay.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Poem, Fashion Verse, Feminism Humor, Lookism Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Fashion Humor, Feminist Satire, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Social Satire | 32 Comments »
Tuesday, July 20th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman with sev’ral degrees…
Here’s mine:
Educational Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman with sev’ral degrees
Fell in love with an ill-informed sleaze.
Her friends disapproved
And warned it behooved
Her to drop him and find a new squeeze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Dating Satire, Education & School Humor, Friendship, Love Humor, Love Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Education & School Humor, Friendship Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Romance Humor | 24 Comments »
Wednesday, July 7th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who looked young for her years…
Here’s mine:
Unassailable Logic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who looked young for her years
Was often assaulted by leers.
“That is rude,” pals opined,
But she said, “I don’t mind.
Soon enough they’ll replace them with jeers.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Aging Limerick, Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Poetry & Prompts, Rudeness, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 25 Comments »
Thursday, June 10th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who had an affair…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Affairs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who had an affair
Got caught by his lovely wife, Claire.
She considered divorce —
Took a far diff’rent course.
Now her spouse does not live anywhere.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Self-Help Humor | 23 Comments »
Thursday, May 27th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who hated to clean…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Not-So-Clean Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who hated to clean
Was a bach’lor. (You know what I mean.)
His home was a wreck,
Filled with dust-covered dreck.
The mess was quite frankly obscene.
When he took a cute date to his place,
She fled, saying “What a disgrace!
I refuse to date pigs.
Get me out of these digs.
And my phone number? Kindly erase.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bachelor Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Poem, House & Home, Household Chores, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Spring Cleaning, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Dating Humor, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 15 Comments »
Wednesday, May 12th, 2010
I couldn’t let International Limerick Day go by without posting a new limerick prompt, could I? So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A romantic young fellow named Will…
Here’s mine:
Romantic Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A romantic young fellow named Will
Was in love with a woman named Jill.
He proposed on his knees,
But then started to sneeze.
Perhaps he should phone Dr. Phil.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Post: Romancing The Stoic
Tags: Dr. Phil, Marriage Limerick, National Limerick Day, Poetry & Prompts, Psychology Humor, Relationship, Romance Humor, Wedding Proposal Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Romance Humor | 31 Comments »
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
I don’t know about you, but I’m not buying Jesse James’ (or Tiger Woods’) rehab ploy:
Rehab For Serial Wife-Cheating? Bullox! (Double Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A bike-loving fellow named James
Had affairs with some numerous dames.
Though wife Sandra’s a winner,
He’s trying to spin her:
Addiction’s the problem, he claims.
Now he’s paying a whole lot of loot
For therapy — Tiger Woods’ route.
But rehab won’t fix
Those wife-cheating pricks.
My advice — just give both guys the boot.
Tags: Addiction Humor, Celebrities, Celebrity Marriages, Elin Nordegren, Feminism Humor, Jesse James, Motorcycles, Rehab, Sandra Bullock, Serial Cheaters, Tiger Woods
Posted in Addiction Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Celebrity Humor, Feminist Satire, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Public Figures | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:
There once was a woman named Ann…
Here’s mine:
A Miss-Misunderstanding
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a woman named Ann,
Who people assumed was a man.
When she walked in the ladies,
They yelled out, “No matees!”
And that’s when the shit hit the fan.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bathroom Humor, Feminist Humor, Poetry Prompt, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Feminist Satire, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 27 Comments »
Wednesday, February 17th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:
“An elderly fellow named James…”
Here’s mine:
Endearing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An elderly fellow named James
Had trouble remembering names,
So he often used “dear,”
Which hurt his career.
His defense? “I just did it to dames.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Age Humor, Career Poem, Feminist Humor, Poetry Prompt, Remembering Names, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Feminist Satire, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Memory Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 17 Comments »
Sunday, February 14th, 2010
Last night hubby Mark reminded me about a humor column I wrote about a romance-impaired woman (me) marrying a romantic man like Mark. He thinks it’s the perfect column to post on Valentines Day, so here’s how Romancing The Stoic begins:
Romancing The Stoic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“We’ve lost power!” I shrieked, as the lights went out and a Brahms concerto stopped mid-cadenza. “It’s okay,” my husband Mark said, in a futile attempt to calm me down. For already I was ransacking the house in search of flashlights, candles, matches and batteries. And as usual, I’d hidden them away in a safe and elusive spot.
“Don’t worry,” Mark said, when he finally had my attention. “We’ll bundle up in front of the fireplace. We’ll eat by candlelight, sip wine, and talk. It’ll be nice. You won’t even miss the light.”
That episode, which climaxed in a delightful, albeit light-impaired evening, illustrates our differences in the romance department. A quick bit of history: More than thirty years ago Mark proposed on his knees in the middle of the street, while I rushed to brush off his pants. His encore the next night was to supplement his weekly floral offering with a pair of crystal candlesticks. I, of course, fretted about their price.
Mark went through with the wedding, despite my apparent lack of the romance gene. Perhaps he felt he had sentiment enough for two. Or maybe he thought I’d come around some day — that my romantic spirit was merely submerged, just waiting to be tapped. … (Romancing The Stoic continues here.)
Tags: Husbands & Wives, Marriage Humor, Romance Humor, Romantic Husbands, Stoics, Valentine's Day, Wedding Proposal Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Marriage Humor, Romance Humor | 12 Comments »
