Archive for the ‘Health Verse’ Category
Saturday, December 10th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FLU, FLEW, or FLUE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PARTIES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PARTY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 25, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 24, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here are my two sample limericks:
I never get shots for the flu.
It’s just something I don’t like to do;
I’m convinced they won’t work,
And I’ll feel like a jerk
When succumbing to germs from the queue.
and
I’m hoping you won’t misconstrue
This as telling you what you should do:
Our abode smells of smoke,
Which isn’t a joke.
Did you choke off our fireplace flue?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Fireplace Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 66 Comments »
Friday, October 28th, 2016
Oh, what have I done to my back?
It’s been painfully thrown out of whack.
Worst of all, there’s no tale
To explain my travail;
One false move, and I’m spasming. Ack!!!
Tags: Back Pain, Health & Medical Humor, Injury Verse, Pain Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, May 11th, 2016
Gals remember your trusty school nurse?
You’d tell her, “I’m sick. It’s ‘the curse.’
I have to skip gym
And lie down. All my vim
Has vamoosed and the pain’s getting worse!”
(National School Nurse Day falls on the Wednesday of National Nurse Week, which is May 6 through May 12.)
Tags: Athletics, Education & School Humor, Gym Membership, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, May Holidays, Menstruation Humor, National Nurse Week, Odd Holidays, School Nurse Day
Posted in Education & School Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To The School Nurse
Wednesday, February 24th, 2016
This holiday surely has bite.
People honor it night after night
And each morning, I hope;
At least those who use soap
Should adore “Nylon Toothbrush Day,” right?
Nylon Toothbrush Day is celebrated on February 24th because on February 24, 1938, the first nylon bristle toothbrush, manufactured by DuPont under the name “Dr. West’s Miracle Toothbrush,” went on sale.
Tags: Dentists, Dr. West's Miracle Toothbrush, DuPont, February Holidays, Holidays, Inventions Humor, Nylon Toothbrush Day, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Teeth, Teeth Humor, Toothbrush Day, Toothbrush Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, History Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Brushing Up On Your Holidays
Wednesday, January 20th, 2016
A man who should never eat cheese,
Ignores ev’ry cough and each wheeze
That comes in reaction
And once led to traction;
He can’t hack cheese-attraction disease.
Happy National Cheese Lovers Day, which is celebrated on January 20th.
Note: National Cheese Day falls on June 4th.
Tags: Allergy Humor, Cheese Humor, Cheese Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Health Limericks, January Holidays, June Holidays, National Cheese Day, National Cheese Lover's Day, Odd Holidays, Traction Humor
Posted in Allergy Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Cheesy Limerick
Sunday, November 1st, 2015
Halloween week I sampled some candy,
But stuff that I used to find dandy
Made me cringe with distaste.
Has aging laid waste
To my taste buds? I’d rather drink brandy.
Have the folks who make chocolate treats
Altered recipes, cheapened these sweets
Till they taste like debris?
Is it them? Is it me?
Either way, here come healthier eats.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Candy Humor, Chocolate Poem, Food Verse, Halloween Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, October Holidays, Sugar Humor, Trick Or Treat Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on What Have They Done To My Treats? (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, June 20th, 2015
The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:
A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Exercise Humor, Health Limericks, International Day of Yoga, International Yoga Day, June Holidays, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Relaxation Humor, Stress Humor, Toga Humor, Yoga Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Clothing Humor, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Friday, June 5th, 2015
Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a “female Viagra?” Oh my!
I’ve boned up on its risks, so no-buy.
Should I need to feel horny,
The problem ain’t thorny.
No not porn! Just a flash of Mark’s thigh.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Drug Humor, Female Viagra, Flibanserin, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Medication Humor, Meds, Sex Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
Wednesday, May 27th, 2015
Good news for men worried about ED — coffee’s good for you:
According to new research from The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston, men who drink the caffeine equivalent of two to three cups of coffee per day are less likely to have erectile dysfunction.
Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear men, avoid pills and injections,
Yet hold on to your manly erections:
Drinking coffee each day
Drives dysfunction away
And prevents disappointing defections.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Caffeine Humor, Coffee Drinks Humor, Coffee Verse, Drink Verse, ED, Erectile Dysfunction, Erection Humor, Health Limericks, Men's Health
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 18th, 2015
Today, March 18, is Kick Butts Day.
Kick Butts Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is the day to kick butts.
No ifs, ands, or buts — smoking’s nuts!
For the cig rut’s a yoke
That can kill you — no joke!
So though quitting’s a drag, show some guts.
Tags: Addiction Humor, Anti-Smoking, Bad Habits Humor, Breathing Humor, Cigarettes, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Hearts, Kick Butts Day, Lungs, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Smokers Limerick, Smoking Humor, Smoking Limerick, Tobacco
Posted in Addiction Humor, Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Odd Holidays, Smoking Humor | Comments Off on Kick Butts Day Limerick
Monday, November 24th, 2014
Posterior Advances (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Most hospital gowns can cause tears
Cuz our butt spheres so rarely get cheers.
But the med field’s revealed
Asses CAN be concealed;
New frontiers in design shield our rears.
Tags: Butt Humor, Clothes Design, Clothing Humor, Derriere, Health Limerick, Hospital Gowns, Hospital Humor, Medical Humor
Posted in Fashion Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Saturday, November 22nd, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was knocked on his butt…*
or
A woman was often the butt…*
or
A man was a pain in the butt…*
or
A gal was obsessed with her butt…*
or
A fellow who loved saying “but”…*
or
A fellow was holding the butt…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
The Butt Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A large woman said, “Doc, do my butt.
“It’s too small, and I’d like it to jut.”
“But your butt is too jutting,”
He answered, quite cutting.
“I find your case open and shut.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Rules | 53 Comments »
Thursday, October 9th, 2014
Multitask THIS! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Multitasking is bad for your brain,
Says a study I read on the plane
While cleaning my purse,
Writing email and verse.
Now where WAS I? That study’s insane!
According to research done at Stamford University, we are all seriously screwed.
Tags: Behavior Humor, Brain Humor, Brain Studies, Mental Health Humor, Multitasking, Scientific Studies, Stamford University
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Multitasking Humor, Science Humor | Comments Off on Multitask THIS! (Limerick)
Tuesday, September 9th, 2014
An Old Story (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’d like to feel old, here’s a way–
Besides all those aches and that gray–
Arrive home, and then hear
From your husband, “My dear,
Your Medicare card came today.”
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Medicare Card Humor, Medicare Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Monday, August 25th, 2014
My friend Tom Hale presented me with the one sort of Ice Bucket Challenge I can actually handle: an “Ice Bucket Limerick Challenge.” So here goes:
Putting A Challenge On Ice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An ice bucket poured on my head?
While I won’t say I’d rather be dead,
It’s cold-sweat-full as hell,
And I’d probably yell
Words too dreadful to post on this thread.
Tags: ALS, Fund Raising Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Ice Bucket Challenge
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, August 9th, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man with a terrible cold…*
or
A gal who was terribly cold…*
or
A woman left out in the cold…*
or
When the entrée arrived, it was cold…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Cold Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal with a terrible cold
Kept waiting for meds to take hold.
She’d been doled the wrong pills,
Which did NOT help her ills.
What that gal really needed was mold.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 55 Comments »
Monday, August 4th, 2014
Limerick Ode To Kale
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Woe is me! There’s a shortage of kale,”
Bitter health nuts are starting to wail.
Seems there ain’t enough seeds
To meet all their needs.
Tell you what — I’ll my own kale curtail.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Verse, Health Nuts, Kale Humor, Vegans, Vegetable Humor, Vegetarians Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Friday, July 18th, 2014
Bugged
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some insect made a sandwich
Of my knuckle, it appears.
My index finger hurts so much,
My eyes are raining tears.
I’m not sure what critter bit me.
Maybe wasp, mosquito, bee,
Or a literary critic–
“No more writing!” his decree.
Tags: Bee Humor, Fingers Humor, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Insects, Mosquito Humor, Wasps, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insect Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Bugged
Tuesday, July 15th, 2014
Fruity Study? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I don’t want to lead you astray,
It appears that an apple a day
Is a way to enhance
A gal’s sex life, perchance.
I’m not ribbing you. Mālum? Hooray!
According to a sex study with a rather small sample size, apples might possibly be a libido booster.
Tags: Apple Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Food Humor, Fruit Limerick, Health Limericks, Libido Humor, Medical Studies Humor, Science Humor, Science Verse, Scientific Study Humor, Sex Life Humor
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Science Humor | Comments Off on Fruity Study? (Limerick)
Saturday, July 12th, 2014
Happy National French Fries Day (July 13.)
Fried Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am not a big fan of French fries.
I don’t find them a sight for sore eyes.
(A sore stomach, perchance.)
Belgium fries, though, entrance.
But neither is wise for one’s thighs.
Tags: Belgium Fries, Calorie Limericks, Food Humor, Food Limerick, French Fries Day, French Fry Day, Health Limericks, July Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
