Archive for the ‘Constitution Humor’ Category
Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
I won’t be visiting Jay Laze’s pizza place any time soon:
A Virginia Beach pizza shop owner is showing his support for firearm rights by giving gun owners a 15 percent discount.
The discount is given to anyone who brings a gun or concealed handgun permit to All Around Pizzas and Deli.
The Right To Bear Arms … And Eat Cheap Pizza (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This news from Virginia’s alarming,
Although some may consider it charming:
Bring your gun to Jay’s shop.
Watch your pizza price drop.
I do NOT find this fellow disarming.
Tags: All Around Pizzas And Deli, Assault Weapons, Firearms, Food Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Jay Laze, National Rifle Association, NRA, Pizza Discount, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution, Virginia, Virginia Beach
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Virginia Humor | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, January 15th, 2013
After yesterday’s Weapon Wonderland Song Parody, I thought I was done with gun posts for a while. But I guess not:
The NRA Plays Games (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Violent video games are to blame,”
Claims the NRA, much to its shame.
Then it issues its own,
Meant for kids barely grown.
Yes, hypocrisy’s NRA’s name.
UPDATE: There’s some speculation that the National Rifle Association may not be behind this app. However, thus far, the NRA hasn’t disowned it.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Hypocrisy, National Rifle Association, NRA, NRA App, Practice Range Game, Second Amendment, Song Parodies, U.S. Constitution, Violent Video Games
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 14th, 2013
You can hear me attempt to sing my Weapon Wonderland song parody a cappella here. But since I have a lousy voice, it might be safest to just read my parody lyrics:
Weapon Wonderland Song Parody (to be sung to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gun sales surge. Are you listenin’?
Ammunition keeps glistenin’.
They’re arming tonight and causing a fright.
U.S. Constitution arms the land.
People die for no reason.
Children shot! ‘Tis the season.
A terrible blight, each night after night.
Gun rights absolutists harm our land.
NRA and cronies claim our homeland
Must allow their arms in every town,
Claiming guns will help us.
We say “No man!
“The murder stats have got to go way down.”
Weapon fans have conspired.
Now our nation is mired.
With lives we have paid.
New laws must be made.
Or soon we’ll have a gun in every hand.
(Linked at DVerse Poets)
Tags: Assault Weapons, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment, Song Parodies, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 17 Comments »
Tuesday, January 8th, 2013
I can’t help admiring the audacity and creativity of this fellow’s Citizens United-inspired legal argument:
A driver in San Rafael, California is attempting to appeal a traffic citation for driving alone in a High Occupancy Vehicle lane. Jonathan Frieman and his attorney, Ford Greene, argue that since Frieman had corporate incorporation papers in his car when he was stopped by an officer, he was actually carpooling at the time…
He’s sworn to chase the case all the way to the Supreme Court should the first trial not go his way in an attempt to “expose the impracticality of corporate personhood.”
A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m not driving alone, said the guy
In the HOV lane, and here’s why:
Corp’rate personhood rules,
And my corp files, you fools,
Are right here. My defense — you must buy!
Tags: Automobiles, California, Carpooling Humor, Cars, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Drivers, Ford Greene, High Occupancy Vehicle Lanes, HOV Lanes, Incorporation Papers, Jonathan Frieman, Law Humor, Legal Humor, San Rafael
Posted in Automobiles Satire, California Satire, Constitution Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 7th, 2013
The Birthers are making trouble once again:
The reliably unhinged crazies over at WorldNetDaily have a new axe to grind when it comes to their tiresome obsession with proving that President Obama is not legally entitled to serve in the office he’s held for four years and counting. Their latest gambit involves insisting that Chief Justice John Roberts is violating the Constitution by administering the oath of office to the president for the second time on January 21, and warning that he will be subject to “impeachment and eternal dishonor” if he does so.
Batty Birthers Are Gunning For … Justice Roberts??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The birthers are at it again:
Stop Barack’s Oval swear-in, their yen.
Oath of office — abort,
They John Roberts exhort.
Seems impeachment’s their wet dream — both men.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Chief Justice John Roberts, Constitution Verse, Impeachment, Oath Of Office, Obama's Birth Certificate, Presidential Election, Swear-In Ceremony, White House, Wingnuts, WordNetDaily
Posted in Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Impeachment Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Washington, White House, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Sunday, December 23rd, 2012
The NRA’s Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre has a grand solution to incidents like the Newtown massacre: Station armed guards at every school in the country. Sane people aren’t buying it.
Limerick Ode To Wayne LaPierre
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The NRA’s Wayne LaPierre
Is busy pretending to care
About kids who are dead
And the lives that were shred.
But his sole goal is one we can’t bear.
Tags: Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, Newtown Connecticut School Shootings, NRA, Sandy Hook, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution, Wayne LaPierre
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 4 Comments »
Friday, December 14th, 2012
I’ve been meaning to write a serious limerick about gun violence for a long time. Today’s tragic Newtown Connecticut school shooting prompted this verse:
Massacre Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mindless murder and mayhem in schools.
U.S. mall assaults — gun wielding ghouls.
We seek a solution,
But hear: “Constitution!”
We need leaders — not NRA tools!
Tags: Adam Lanza, Cowardly Politicians, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Leadership Humor, Newtown Connecticut School Shootings, Sandy Hook, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, July 25th, 2012
Roger Simon says it all about gun baloney, but I still have to write this limerick:
Outgunned By Cowardice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Both Obama and Mitt are distressed,
By the movie house murders depressed.
But those gun lobby fears
Beget action-free tears:
Tighten gun control? Surely you jest!
(Cross-posted on Limerick Debate.)
Tags: Aurora Colorado Shootings, Barack Obama, Colorado Theater Shooting, Cowardly Politicians, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Leadership Humor, Mitt Romney, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 4 Comments »
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
Open Limerick To Chief Justice John Roberts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Justice Roberts, your allies are mean,
And their attitude’s often obscene.
When they hate one decision,
Their answer’s derision:
Your meds fried your brain. No more sheen!
With people like that in your camp,
Perhaps it is time to revamp
Your views and opinions.
Dump low-lives as minions.
Convert! Be a working man’s champ.
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 10 Comments »
Friday, June 29th, 2012
Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Wow! When I wasn’t looking, President Obama apparently mugged the U.S. Supreme Court:
To the fainting couch! Obama attacked the Supreme Court and threatened it with a backlash, should it strike down his tyrannical scheme to impose a government takeover of health care on the nation!
That’s what many conservative writers and even some centrist ones are arguing. They are saying that Obama’s words about the Court yesterday were “unsettling” and a “witch-hunt,” and they’re likening them to F.D.R.’s efforts to pack the Court in retaliation for decisions striking down New Deal initiatives.
Please. If what Obama said yesterday is an “attack,” it’s pretty timid stuff indeed.
SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The very same wingnuts who blast
So-called “activist courts” are aghast
And are faulting Obama
With petulant drama:
“He’s attacking the Court,” they lambaste.
Seems those wingnut Supremes need a hug,
Cuz Obama’s a meanie and “thug.”
His complaint, although mild,
Is driving them wild.
Those guys are sure easy to bug.
Tags: Activist Courts, Activist Judge, Barack Obama, Federal Courts, Health Care Reform, Judicial Review Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Verse, Litigation Humor, Obamacare, SCOTUS, Supreme Court Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
Chances are, you’ve heard about the latest Supreme Court travesty:
In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled against a New Jersey man erroneously arrested during a 2005 traffic stop for a fine he had already paid. Today’s ruling holds that even people arrested for minor offenses can be subjected to strip searches.
Supreme Indecency (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Thanks to Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia,
And their pals, cops can strip ya and see ya.
They don’t need any reason:
It’s strip searching season.
Our privacy’s gone! Mama mia!
Tags: ACLU, Arrests Limerick, Chief Justice John Roberts, Constitution Verse, Crime & Punishment, Criminal Justice, Invasion of Privacy, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Justice Antonin Scalia, Justice Clarence Thomas, Justice Samuel Alito Jr., Law Humor, Legal Verse, New Jersey, Privacy Humor, Strip Searches, Supreme Court Limerick, Traffic Stop, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Crime, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Privacy Humor, Supreme Court | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
When I see a title like this, I pretty much have to write a limerick: Santorum Good for Chastity-Belt Sales? Manufacturer Says, “We’ve Had a Boost”
The Chastity Chase (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s good news for Republican men:
You can guard against gals with a yen
For sex you deem evil
With something primeval:
Yes chastity belts — Curb your hen!
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Chastity Belts, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminist Limerick, GOP Humor, Health Care, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Sexist Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 2 Comments »
Monday, February 20th, 2012
Over the years, I’ve met many post-feminist women — gals who think the struggle is over, and who see no further need for feminism. I wonder what they think of the Republicans’ rampant, re-energized War On Women.
Limerick Ode To Feminism
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ve met women far younger than I
Who’ve never quite understood why
We need feminist gals.
It seems they and their pals
See no ceiling of glass — just the sky.
They think gender-based battles are done,
And the feminist fight has been won.
Yet in merely a flash,
Rights can turn into ash:
Once again, we are under the gun.
(Related Posts: Dear Bedroom-Invading Republicans, More Contraceptive Madness, Feminist Humor Category)
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Contraception Humor, Feminist Limerick, Health Care, Republicans Humor, Sexist Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, February 15th, 2012
What century is this? The aggressive anti-contraception GOP stance makes me wonder whether I bought the wrong calendar.
Rick Santorum, a man who’s dangerously close to snatching the Republican presidential nomination away from Mitt Romney, apparently wants to preside over an antediluvian America: Here’s Santorum explaining why he wants to fight “the dangers of contraception:”
It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.
And Rick is far from the only bedroom-obsessed Republican. GOP over-reach regarding contraception is approaching epic proportions:
Last week, Freshman Senator Roy Blunt (R-MO) filed legislation to allow any employer, religiously affiliated or not, to refuse to cover any essential or preventive health service, not just contraceptives, based on the “religious belief or moral conviction” of the employer. Word from DC is that Blunt and allies will attempt to add the provision as an amendment to other legislation now moving through the Senate….
The fact that American voters are overwhelmingly pro-birth control is apparently irrelevant to Republican politicians.
Perhaps a limerick might help Republican pols get the message:
Dear Bedroom-Invading Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republican pols, please abstain
From ent’ring my bedroom domain.
And also stay out
Of my bathroom. Don’t pout!
If you’re truly “small gov,” you’ll refrain.
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Humor, Employers, Feminist Limerick, Health Care, Missouri, Mitt Romney, Religion Humor, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Roy Blunt, Sexist Humor, Small Government
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Roy Blunt Humor | 3 Comments »
Thursday, January 5th, 2012
In case you were wondering, Rick Santorum still thinks states have the right to outlaw contraception. Why? Because it’s “a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”
Limerick Ode To Sex-Obsessed Santorum
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Contraception’s immoral, says Rick,
Cuz it licenses sex with a chick
To whom you ain’t wed.
So ban it instead!
Vote Santorum: Stop sex that is sick.
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Satire, Constitution Verse, Contraception Humor, Election Humor, Rick Santorum, States Rights
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Sex-Obsessed Santorum
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011
I’m constantly running into Tenth Amendment states’ rights hypocrisy, most often concerning abortion rights and same sex marriage. Texas Governor Rick Perry is but the latest example: He’s now calling for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and abortion.
Limerick Ode To 10th Amendment Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Perry’s a fan of states’ rights:
10th amendment — he loves its delights.
But gay marriage? Abortion?
Please brace for contortion:
He’d smite them through federal fights.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Constitution Verse, Gay Marriage, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rick Perry, Same Sex Marriage, States Rights, Texas Humor, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Abortion Rights, Constitution Humor, Election Satire, Gay Rights, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
By now you’ve surely heard about Delaware Republican Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell’s astonishing screw-up in her debate against opponent Chris Coons. I’m speaking, of course, of her First Amendment gaffe. In her now infamous exchange (in a law school, yet) Tea-Partier O’Donnell “appeared to be aggressively ignorant of the fact that the First Amendment requires the separation of church and state.”
That brings me to my latest Limerick:
Yet Another Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Debating our Fed Constitution
Can be tough when your grasp’s Lilliputian:
Hence O’Donnell’s conflation
Of church and our nation.
Her savvy could use evolution.
(Here’s my previous limerick about Christine O’Donnell.)
Tags: Campaign Satire, Chris Coons, Christine O'Donnell, Church and State, Debate Limerick, Delaware, Election Humor, First Amendment, Gaffes, Religion Humor, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Campaign Humor, Christine O'Donnell, Constitution Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Tuesday, August 17th, 2010
I’m never surprised when Republicans try to trash the U.S. Constitution. But Senator Harry Reid’s position about the proposed Cordoba House — the inaccurately nicknamed “Ground Zero Mosque” — disappointed me.
But then what do I know? I’m just a 1st amendment fan who lives in New York City. And I’d rather see a mosque than a burned out former Burlington Coat Factory store.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Mosque Mockery
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A “Ground Zero Mosque” — oh how shocking!
Hurray for the folks who are blocking
That mosque to replace
The old coat-selling place.
If perchance you can’t tell — yes, I’m mocking.
Tags: Burlington Coat Factory, Constitution Verse, Cordoba House, First Amendment, Ground Zero, Harry Reid, Islamic Center, Mosque Limerick, New York City, nine-eleven, Religious Humor
Posted in 9/11 Satire, Constitution Humor, Faux Controversies, Harry Reid, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire | 7 Comments »
Friday, August 6th, 2010
The gay-bashers are at it again, freaking out at Judge Vaughn Walker’s pro-gay marriage Proposition 8 decision in Perry v. Schwarzenegger. The attacks claim, among other things, that:
The ruling is a travesty of justice because Walker himself is reportedly gay – and because he’s gay, he should’ve removed himself from the case!
Boy, am I glad I never parlayed my law degree into a judgeship. Because, based on this “reasoning,” I would have been duty-bound to recuse myself from any case involving women, Jews, short people, straights, New Yorkers, satirists, versifiers, lawyers, oboe players, agnostics, and people older than … uh … never mind.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Judge Walker’s Critics — Divorced From Reason
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Judge Walker’s well-reasoned decision
Has been met with gay-bashing derision:
He’s “reportedly gay,”
So was biased their way.
Oh, just straight guys have unbiased vision?
Tags: Bias Humor, Gay Marriage, Judge Vaughn Walker, Judiciary Humor, Legal Satire, Litigation Humor, Perry V. Schwarzenegger, Proposition 8
Posted in California Satire, Constitution Humor, Gay Rights, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Social Satire | 8 Comments »
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
Friday, June 29th, 2012Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »