It’s not bad enough that I’m addicted to writing limericks. Now I’m also hooked on reading/playing with idiom lists:
“I suspect that our firm has a spy,
Cuz a journo just called to ask why
We give patients the squeeze
With our vision-wear fees.
Now our practice will get a black eye.”
A French restaurant, once upper crust,
Got a rotten review and went bust:
“Their food can’t be chewed,”
Wrote the prominent dude.
Two weeks later, the place bit the dust.
“Your payments have fallen behind.
Where’s my money?” the contractor whined.
“Our deal’s ‘a blank check’
To rebuild your wrecked deck.”
The reply: “Yes, that’s why it’s unsigned.”
Believe it or not, when I started writing this, I wasn’t thinking about the person you all think I was thinking about. (I was just trying to use my line 5 idiom in a limerick.)
I wondered why people deferred
To a fellow who’s coarse and absurd.
Well I’ve fin’ly learned why
They fawn over the guy:
He’s rich; hence he gets the last word.
Sometimes, when my limerick inspiration is “on the ropes,” I’ll start with a random idiom. (In this case, my initial first line involved a “clothing boutique.” But when I thought of the last line, I changed the type of store for obvious reasons.)
With her laundromat shop on the ropes,
She was suff’ring a case of the mopes.
How she yearned to earn more!
And the plight of her store
Had reduced her to watching the soaps.
When someone’s depicted as “poor
As a church mouse,” I want to know more:
Are mice in a church
Always left in the lurch?
And if so, why not forage next door?
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Fuse or Confuse or Refuse at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PLANS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PLAN-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 26, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 25, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my REFUSE-rhyme limerick:
There are times I’m inclined to refuse
To read any national news
Cuz it’s all so depressing
And oh so distressing.
Remember when news could amuse?
And here’s my PLANS-themed limerick:
A fellow was trying to pitch
A plan that would “make us all rich.”
But a glitch in his scheme
Made it clear to the team
He was naught but a get-rich-scheme snitch.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DANCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DANCE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 2, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 1, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my RAISE/RAYS/RAZE-rhyme limerick:
When requesting a bonus or raise,
It is best to prepare for some nays;
Often praise will precede
A loud “NO!” Alas greed
Within management ain’t just a phase.
And here’s my DANCE-themed limerick:
A gal was attempting the twist —
A dance from her youth she still missed.
But this hard kind of rock
Left her hips in a lock.
She was wistful, as Doc said: “Resist!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TIME or THYME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INVESTMENT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INVESTMENT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 28, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 27, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my TIME/THYME-rhyme limerick:
My husband Mark’s cooking? Sublime!
But my kitchen ineptness? A crime!
Don’t believe me? How’s this
For ignorant bliss:
Can’t distinguish paprika from thyme.
And here’s my INVESTMENT-themed limerick:
An investor who frequently strains
Our credulity always maintains
That he’s made lots of bread,
But rumors have spread
That pounds are the guy’s only gains.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Dictionary.com celebrated Tax Day today with this new-to-me word: Gabelle.
1 a tax; excise.
2 French History. a tax on salt, abolished in 1790.
Payers never respond with a smile
To taxes, which anger and rile.
Salty words greet gabelles;
Taxing salt rarely sells,
And in France it has gone out of style.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RIDE/DERIDE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SNOBBISHNESS using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SNOBBISHNESS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 28, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 27, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A man who has gripes with his bride
Decided to let them all ride;
She has talents in bed
And is rich (so she said.)
But he soon will see red, cuz she lied.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Buy/Bye/By/Bi at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Clumsiness, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Clumsiness-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 16, 2017 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 15, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here are my TWO limericks:
We are trying to find a good buy
On a car, and we’re desperate. Why?
Cuz our Camry was drowned,
And drenched engines (we’ve found)
Don’t rebound but, instead, fry and die.
and
A cute-looking man sauntered by,
Spun around and returned, saying “hi.”
Then he lured me with lore,
Stories hard to ignore,
And I ended up wed to the guy.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Fair
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your fare is unfair,” said the fare,
When he got from the fair to Times Square.
“You cab driving cheater,
You rigged up your meter.
Here’s a tip: I’m not paying you. Ne’er!”
(DversePoets asks us to write verse using the word fair.)
Happy birthday to the nickel, born May 16, 1866
Limerick Ode To The Nickel
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our nation first minted the nickel
On the 16th of May. Here’s our pickle:
That coin’s out of tricks–
Born in 1866,
Now its value is down to a trickle.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was rather a crab…*
or
A woman enjoying some crab…*
or
A fellow who’d frequently crab…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Crabby Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A crabby young man eating crab
Claimed “This tastes like it came from a lab.
It’s fishy indeed
That you’d try to mislead
With faux food, so I’m chucking this tab.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Birthday Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Name something folks hate to the max
And would love to destroy with an ax.
It is DC-controlled
And one-century old.
Give up? It’s the fed income tax.
Today, Oct 3, 2013, is the one-hundredth anniversary of the federal income tax.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who needed a pair…*
or
A woman was eating a pear…*
or
A fellow was feeling despair…*
or
A fellow was trying to pare…*
or
A woman was buying a pair…*
or
A fellow who tried to repair…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Pair
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A young woman who needed a pair
Of cool sandals was walking on air:
She’d found comfy ones — cheap!
But then thought she might weep:
Someone snared the last pair by a hair.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Happy National Inventors’ Day! Why is National Inventors’ Day celebrated on February 11th? Back in 1983, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed February 11th National Inventors’ Day to honor the anniversary of inventor Thomas Alva Edison’s birth.
Here’s a silly invention-related limerick that has absolutely to do with Edison:
Inventive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A device that was meant to clean crud
Made a mess and was rather a dud.
But in spite of this glitch,
The inventor got rich,
Which explains why his name became mud.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.