Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RIDE/DERIDE at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RIDE/DERIDE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SNOBBISHNESS using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SNOBBISHNESS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 28, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 27, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A man who has gripes with his bride
Decided to let them all ride;
She has talents in bed
And is rich (so she said.)
But he soon will see red, cuz she lied.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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77 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RIDE/DERIDE at the end of any one line”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Two young lovers named Bonnie and Clyde
    Were well known and were feared far and wide.
    Set out from the garage
    But they met a barrage.
    ‘Twas the last time they’d go for a ride.

  2. Sharon Neeman says:

    Wednesday, November 9, 2016

    We sobbed and we cursed and we cried —
    Or we puked till we damn nearly died —
    To learn how a fake
    Only fit for the stake
    Had taken us all for a ride.

  3. Sharon Neeman says:

    “When you’ve finished and sewed up my hide,
    Doc, will I be able to ride?”
    The surgeon smiled, “Shore!
    Just as well as before!”
    “But I couldn’t before — never tried…”

  4. Patrice Stewart says:

    May 2017: Is He Still There?

    Oh, this year’s been a heck of a ride;
    Oval Office? Cringe at who’s inside.
    I still can’t quite believe it:
    Someone, make Chump leave it!
    And he’s just begun hitting his stride…

    Yep, Trump’s on deride of his life,
    Wildly flailing about, causing strife.
    If fond plans are derailed,
    Guilty folks will be jailed;
    Out of pique, he might take a fourth wife.

  5. Patrice Stewart says:

    Snobby Bobby Left the Lobby

    And walked with his nose in the air
    As he relished each flattering stare,
    But soon tripped. Down he went,
    To loud curses gave vent:
    His reflection dimmed by the sun’s glare.

  6. Patrice Stewart says:

    The Rich: (In)different?

    Bitsy Wright, college snob, was quite tiresome;
    If she needed cash, Father would wire some.
    Pals, selected for wealth,
    Chortled in spiteful stealth
    That she had no true friends – but could hire some.

  7. Patrice Stewart says:

    Her Highness Brought Low

    Many years had the Haughty One reigned,
    During which all her friends had refrained
    From revealing the truth
    About Jennifer Ruth:
    Her connections to blue blood were feigned.

  8. Patrice Stewart says:

    Moral of the Story: Brickbats Don’t Bring Glory

    People in glass houses, rocks throw not!
    FOR they risk loud jeers, sneers if get caught.
    But a snob might insist
    On the facts and persist
    In insulting those he thinks he’s bought.

    Sure, pot, you can call the kettle black,
    But afterwards you’d best not turn your back.
    Although names might not hurt you,
    Your allies will desert you:
    They won’t risk being who you’ll next attack.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    “This President job’s a rough ride,
    But you ask, am I still takin’ pride
    In my trophies from shootin’ ?
    You’re darned rootin’ tootin’ –
    The latest is James Comey’s hide!

  10. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Don’t forget when you go for a ride,
    By the traffic laws you should abide.
    All the rules you must heed,
    No left turn! Watch your speed!
    From the cops you can run, but can’t hide.

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    A guy took a gal in his car.
    They rode but they didn’t go far.
    It was quite a wild ride.
    Lots of fun things were tried,
    Some angles were rather bizarre.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    Trump’s a bully with very thin skin,
    Like a five year old, he has to win.
    His tweets will deride
    Those who will not abide
    With the falsehoods that he tries to spin.

  13. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Donald Trump thinks he has to deride
    All the folks who are not on his side.
    With his words terse and bitter
    Posted daily on Twitter,
    But whenever he’s tweeted, he’s lied.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    There once was an arrogant prick
    Who thought his great wealth made him slick.
    Robbing ‘Meruka blind,
    Only thing on his mind.
    We’ve got to dump Trump, and be quick!

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    There’s one thing I cannot abide,
    I’m angry and can’t let it slide.
    Wrong to take what I’ve penned,
    And then slightly amend.
    Similarities can’t be denied.

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    The above- EDITED-

    There’s one thing I cannot abide,
    I’m angry, can’t just let it ride.
    Wrong to take what I’ve penned,
    And then slightly amend.
    Similarities can’t be denied.

  17. Dave Johnson says:

    Our national symbol of pride
    Is where he can scurry and hide;
    Then direct Air Force One
    Towards Florida sun
    While taking us all for a ride.

  18. Brian Allgar says:

    (Sorry, it’s just a fairy-tale)

    The Donald had cheated and lied,
    And defaulted on debts far and wide.
    But the half-witted slob
    Found he’d ripped off the mob,
    So they’re taking the fool “for a ride”.

  19. Brian Allgar says:

    (I’m not sure that “astRIDE” is a valid rhyme-word … oh, well)

    “There’s a tooth that I really must fill”,
    Said her dentist. “Now, keep your head still.”
    Then he said “Open wide”,
    And she found him astride
    Her – but what she felt wasn’t a drill.

  20. Sharon Neeman says:

    Have you met my snobby Aunt Mabel?
    No food on her Louis Quinze table;
    The Porsche outside gleams —
    But there’s no gas, it seems;
    And her dress is years old — but the label!

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    The Groom was sarcastic and snide;
    Her wishes he’d just override.
    He was brutal and shitty;
    The Best Man felt pity,
    And so I eloped with the Bride.

  22. Nora Rudmann says:

    I have a snobby and snide
    cousin named Gerald D. Clyde.
    He thinks he’s the best poet.
    He says everyone knows it,
    but when I showed him your website he cried:

    “Oh no, this cannot be true!
    These rhymes are so perfect! How could you?
    I am the top dog
    What?! She even has a blog?
    I give up, I’ll go find my crew.”

    So I just wanted to say,
    you’re the best poet living today.
    Donald Trump sucks,
    though he makes big bucks,
    so for him to get kicked out I pray.

    For the snobby poem :>

    *****

    From Mad Kane: Thanks very much for your kind and enthusiastic words. :)

  23. Brian Allgar says:

    (Double)

    “Far be it for me to deride
    Your grammar and spelling”, he sighed.
    “Though no snob, I feel faint
    When I hear you say “ain’t” –
    It’s a thing that I cannot abide.”

  24. Lisi Nortman says:

    My wife is my lifetime “guide”
    But she always tends to deride
    My sexual expertise
    When she’s down on her knees
    Although I regularly say “I tried”

  25. Neil Hood says:

    I’ll wait for the rain to subside
    Said the hunter, not one to deride
    The river we crossed
    Has risen, all’s lost
    For the quarry is on t’other side

    If an astronauts melieu is space
    Weightlessness is a thing to embrace
    As with Sally Ride
    Not one to deride
    She came back to earth within grace

  26. NOT A DUPLICATE

    My loving wife is my lifetime “guide’
    But she always tends to deride
    My sexual expertise
    When she’s down on her knees
    Although I regularly say, “DARLING, I tried”

  27. My former boyfriend said I was a snob
    He was kind of cute and his name was Rob
    He said “no” and wouldn’t wear Hugo Boss
    And “nix” to eating vodka sauce
    I also didn’t care for his thingamabob

  28. I only talked to guys who were cute
    All the others would get the “boot”
    My perfect man had to have money
    Always be astoundingly funny
    And of course, be dressed in an Armani suit

  29. Ryan Tilley says:

    Not as Rare as a Unicorn

    For their coffee, you overpaid
    If your cup has been graced by a mermaid.
    It is syrup and beans,
    But above your means
    Without ordering pricey upgrade!

  30. Tim James says:

    With a nod to Marty…

    I had hitch-hiked and picked up a ride
    With a couple with something to hide.
    My foreboding was strong;
    I thought: what could go wrong?
    Then she said, “Hi, I’m Bonnie. He’s Clyde.”

  31. Dave Johnson says:

    “Hey Baby, let’s go for a ride.”
    Said the horny young lawyer inside.
    She started to yield
    Before flashing her shield;
    “Your bargaining plea is denied.”

  32. Robert said “We’ll go for a ride
    And have lunch at a scenic countryside”
    At Burger King
    His card went DING DING!
    I gather this guy frequently lied

  33. Dave Johnson says:

    “My parents are snooty.” she said
    To her male-stripper boyfriend named Jed.
    He answered this way:
    “Let’s simply just say
    I’m a mover and shaker instead.”

  34. Frank Hubeny says:

    As a knight pure and true he must ride
    But he fell and then couldn’t decide:
    Pick the angel or babe?
    And the choice that he made
    Led to hell but with Babe by his side.

  35. Dave Johnson says:

    Some very rich people agree
    They’re better – it’s so plain to see;
    And should be admired
    For how they’ve acquired
    The golden commodes where they pee.

  36. MISS MANNERS SAYS:

    When eating corn on the cob
    Don’t be a fancy snob
    Spit out from underneath
    And what’s stuck between your teeth
    Ignore anyone who calls you a slob

  37. My friend is Seaman Clyde
    Making friends he always tried
    But it was always the same
    When folks heard his name
    They would poke fun and spitefully deride

  38. NOT A DUPLICATE
    (MISS MANNERS SAYS)

    When eating corn on the cob
    Don’t be a fancy snob
    Spit out the junk in your teeth
    Always look underneath
    Ignore anyone who calls you a slob

  39. I WILL TRY THIS ONE AGAIN

    (INTERNET DATE)

    Meet me at the pool outside
    Right near the brand new ride
    I will be drinking gin
    And wearing a grin
    I’ll be the one with nothing to hide

  40. (ANOTHER TRY AGAIN)

    When going down a fun-filled slide
    Make sure your pants are securely tied
    It’s very rude
    To be in the nude
    On a public amusement ride

  41. Tim James says:

    A cowboy took way too much pride
    In his bronc-busting talents. He tried
    To impose by brute force
    His mad skills on a horse
    (Which he promptly commenced to de-ride).

  42. Randy Wagner says:

    There once was an unblushing bride
    Whose vain groom kept her well satisfied
    With his cocky technique
    That gave rise to a shriek
    As she straddled his pride for a ride.

  43. Randy Wagner says:

    There once was a snobby stuffed shirt
    Incongruously yearning to flirt.
    He despised what he prized –
    Oversized supple thighs –
    As he looked down his nose up her skirt.

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    We had a fierce and passionate ride
    Unfortunately, the proverbial “rabbit died”
    I had to tell Joe
    He cried out “Oh No!”
    Next week I shall be a lovely bride

  45. Randy Wagner says:

    “Your ladies lack toned buns of steel,”
    Quipped a patron who wasn’t genteel.
    “I will never deride
    Derrières that are wide,”
    Answered Peter Paul Rubens with zeal.

  46. Randy Wagner says:

    “I say this with great surety –
    No one’s treated less fairly than me!
    CNN will deride
    Each reform I have tried,”
    Said the President petulantly.

  47. Don’t make fun of my fun-filled job
    You are a very conceited and pompous snob
    I bag the food
    I’m in a good mood
    And you, my friend, are an out- of -work slob

  48. Tim James says:

    She was rich, with her nose in the air,
    But the stableboy knew how to lay ‘er.
    ‘Twas a deed bold and naughty.
    She’s done being haughty;
    Each day he plays stud to her mare.

  49. I know a man who’s a pompous snob
    Everyone pokes fun of him with regards to his job
    Someone had the gall
    To say his hands were small
    Referring to his small-scale thingamabob

  50. Ryan Tilley says:

    BMW’s Spontaneous Combustion

    He had promised a wonderful ride.
    With the standards, he barely complied,
    But the dealer’s a liar
    As it catches on fire
    Since your automobile has been fried!

  51. Patrice Stewart says:

    Why He Didn’t Get Any

    About dinner tonight, I’m not bitchin’,
    So let’s take a slow ride in the kitchen.
    Yet, fileted AND deep-fried?
    I can run but not hide!
    Your mystery meat is for pitchin’.

  52. Patrice Stewart says:

    Oops, Mad, got carried away & didn’t end line with rhyme word!
    Retry:

    Why He Didn’t Get Any

    About dinner tonight, I’m not bitchin’,
    So let’s steam things up in the kitchen.
    Yet, fileted AND deep-fried?
    I don’t mean to deride,
    But your mystery meat is for pitchin’.

  53. Patrice Stewart says:

    Sharon Was Darin’

    Friday night, perfect time for a ride
    With young Willy. She soon hit her stride
    And that sofa was rockin’:
    Their pace, it was shockin’,
    When – key in the lock: roll and hide!

    Her parents came in, closed the door,
    While they waited it out on the floor
    ‘Til upstairs her folks went.
    In defiance of Lent,
    They went back for seconds and more.

  54. Patrice Stewart says:

    No Trump: Bridge Ain’t For Dummies

    Well, he’s lied about every last thing.
    Please, consensus on charges to bring!
    He’s had too long a ride
    As it is: grin wide, snide.
    Gee, who knew that ol’ Putin could sing?

  55. Patrice Stewart says:

    Time For A Change! Were You Deranged?

    They said Bill let it hang from his pants,
    And a woman for Prez? Not a chance.
    Now the “nutjob” inside
    Takes us all for a ride:
    Who’ll call time for the end of this dance?

    Heaven knows I wish they could impeach ‘im.
    Stay-home voters, it takes what to reach ’em?
    It won’t take long, Barack,
    ‘Fore we ALL want you back!
    No insurance? Could be that’ll teach ’em.

  56. Patrice Stewart says:

    Chump Change

    Non-Reps offer a plan? He can trump it.
    Meals On Wheels for the poor? Bah, just dump it!
    Big fat sham. Bible-thumper
    He’s not; crop’s a bumper
    Of lies. Disagree with him? Lump it.

  57. Patrice Stewart says:

    Gosh darn it, Mad, I did it again! :( Sorry ~ retry:

    Chump Change

    Non-Reps offer a plan? He can trump it.
    Meals On Wheels for the poor? Bah, just dump it!
    Big sham out for a ride,
    Russia’s Pride now decried.
    Nonetheless, disagree with him? Lump it.

  58. Patrice Stewart says:

    Dying To Prove Him Wrong

    As I take the US for a ride,
    I’m the groom to America’s bride.
    *uck you all: open wide!
    Deep inside…I take pride
    In my job. Can’t say I haven’t tried :)

    My name’s Trump, I lie early and often;
    I never get tired of scoffin’.
    Climate change? Nah; depends…
    I’ll “know” once the world ends!
    Be prepared: pay up front for your coffin.

  59. NOT A DUPLICATE

    I know a man who’s a pompous snob
    He brags about his important job
    Someone had the gall
    To say his hands were small
    Referring to his little thingamabob

  60. Fred Bortz says:

    Though I’ve tried not to take too much pride,
    Every day, feeling snide, I deride
    The words that are said
    By that giant orange head
    That collide with the truth. (Facts denied!)

  61. Fred Bortz says:

    TURNABOUT

    Born to wealth, having blood that runs blue,
    You treat me like dirt on your shoe.
    But no-sirree-Bob,
    I’m the one who’s the snob,
    For I know I’m far better than you.

  62. Please try not to deride
    Selma Gluck, the unattractive bride
    The groom cannot see
    And she told him that she
    Is gorgeous and breathtaking; so what if she lied?

  63. Patrice Stewart says:

    He’s Right, and Everyone Knows It

    We’re all on one heck of a ride:
    Do you want your “facts” half-baked or fried?
    You could swallow them whole,
    Cede to Trump full control.
    If you trust him (why?), then open wide!

    For it seems truth and lies are the same,
    Making past prez debacles look tame.
    Good thing Comey has notes,
    Getting Trump’s herd of goats;
    No one wins in this zero-sum game.

    If he says so, by God, then it’s true!
    (Orange nest: one flew by, huge cuckoo.)
    The Prez always is right –
    You think different? Let’s fight!
    “Our side” knows that he’s perfect: don’t you?

  64. NOT A DUPLICATE
    Try hard not to deride
    Selma the ugly bride
    The groom cannot see
    So she told him that she
    Is sexy and cute; so what if she lied?

  65. Suzanne Heymann says:

    How snobby’s that bitch? Oh, I fear
    It is much worse than it may appear
    Like a pie in the sky
    She is stuck up so high
    That she now is some guy’s chandelier.

  66. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A clean freak is hardly a slob
    And will never eat corn on the cob
    Or fried chicken or ribs
    Or eat food where some bibs
    Are required to finish the job.

  67. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The stalker had constantly eyed
    The cute girl, but she soon would deride
    The creepy offender
    She said, “I’m transgender”
    Then to the bartender he cried.

  68. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The election – oh, what a wild ride!
    And since then, our democracy’s died
    But wait! Trials are pending
    Jail time he’ll be spending
    This land will be mending with pride.

  69. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The prostitute, skirt short and tight
    Got picked up by some guy, not too bright
    She had put sex aside
    But said, “Thanks for the ride!”
    Then away she would slide in the night.

  70. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The surfer, enjoying the ride
    Would soon, with two big sharks, collide
    One said, “I’ve first dibs on
    The dude; don’t need bibs on
    I’ve always liked ribs on the side.”

  71. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Soon after their overseas ride
    As Melania stood near his side
    To her, he allotted
    His hand, which she swatted
    That promptly bespotted his pride.

    That old snob, one day, has to admit
    As a husband, he’s fully unfit
    He deserves all the strife
    Coming soon in his life
    That’s for treating his wife like pure shit!

  72. David Reddekopp says:

    He bombastically brags he’s the best
    And my answer is “Surely, you jest!”
    But not with this knob
    He’s the consummate snob
    It’s his arrogance I most detest.

  73. Sharon Neeman says:

    A two-TRILLION-buck error in math?!
    This leaves us with only one path:
    We must stop this mad ride
    With T. Rump as our guide —
    Let’s just kick him outside on his ath.

  74. Patrice Stewart says:

    My Donnie Lies Over The Ocean, and Everywhere Else

    Oh look, it’s a carnival ride!
    Big sign “Enter at Risk” propped outside.
    One can argue we knew
    When we voted, it’s true,
    ‘Cause at least he’s consistently lied.

    What color’s your hair? Green, he’ll say;
    And I twice fed the poor in Bombay!
    I don’t lie, I just Twitter:
    Nutjobs, I’m no quitter!
    Let’s hope (pray) that this Don’s had his day.

  75. When Uncle Ed went on the “Speedy Ride”
    It scrambled his brain and destroyed his pride
    Try as he may
    He just lost his way
    And was swept away with the ebb and the tide

  76. Disneyland has a brand new ride
    I thought I’d try it with my nephew Clyde
    When we got on the seat
    I felt humiliating defeat
    The supervisor said, “Your butt is too wide”

  77. Randy Wagner says:

    Melania’s hot! That aside,
    The assumption she’ll willingly ride
    The diminutive peter
    Of Donald the Tweeter
    Is funny (on nitrous oxide).

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