“International Stress Awareness Day” is stressing me out:
Some holidays ought not exist;
“Stress Awareness Day’s” high my list.
Since I’m frequently stressed,
“Bewareness” is best.
So forget that damn day! I insist!
Archive for the ‘Odd Holidays’ Category
“Stress Awareness Day?” Who Needs It? (Limerick) (1st Wednesday of November)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021Limerick Ode To “National American Beer Day”
Wednesday, October 27th, 2021Happy “National American Beer Day!” (October 27)
“American Beer Day” is here,
Making many compatriots cheer.
But not ME! “Why?” you ask.
Cuz my drink is a flask
Of tequila. No “Hear, hear!” to beer!
Operatic Limerick
Monday, October 25th, 2021Happy “World Opera Day!” (October 25)
“Sustaining high notes can be hard,”
Said an opera singer who starred
In Norma; she claims
That it’s not fun and games,
But a contest of wills, no holds barred.
Not Kneeling For “Knee Day” (Limerick) (October 22)
Friday, October 22nd, 2021Celebrate “National Knee Day?” Not me!
Say “hip, hip, hooray!” cuz it’s Knee Day?
I don’t find it a Fills-Me-With-Glee day.
Any “climb those stairs” stance
Makes my knees look askance,
So it’s more of a Please-Function-Plea day.
Messy Limerick
Wednesday, October 20th, 2021A gal, an industrious knitter,
Showed a huge heap of knits to her sitter:
“It’s a mess, I confess.
If you sort it, dear Tess,
I shall give you the pick of the litter.”
(Worldwide Knit In Public Day is the 2nd Saturday of June.)
Embracing “Ass Day” (Limerick)
Sunday, October 17th, 2021As you can see, I’m embracing “Ass Day.” (October 17)
It’s “Ass Day,” so celebrate rears
And relinquish your booty-size fears;
I suspect your can’s span
Ain’t as wide as a van.
Get behind it and relish the cheers!
Do Bosses Really Need/Deserve a “Boss Day?” (Limerick)
Friday, October 15th, 2021Happy “National Boss Day!” (celebrated October 16, or the closest work day.)
When my boss said, “Please join me for brunch,”
I agreed, though I did have a hunch
That the man is a cad
And quite possibly mad.
I was right; he’s, alas, out to lunch.
Tasty Limerick
Thursday, October 14th, 2021Happy “National Dessert Day.” (October 14)
A fellow was eating dessert.
Offered seconds, he said, “It can’t hurt.”
But his wife said, “Enough!”
“You used to be buff.”
He responded, “You used to be pert.”
Handbag Hassles (Limerick)
Sunday, October 10th, 2021Heavy handbags are irksome indeed.
Paring down has become my new creed:
No more notebooks, spare keys.
Bye-bye iPad, change, cheese.
Net result? Never have what I need!
Happy National Handbag Day! (October 10)
Egg Myths (Limerick)
Friday, October 8th, 2021“World Egg Day” has given me an excuse to write this limerick rant:
“Do NOT eat the yolks of your eggs!”
“Just the egg whites,” they said – (the egg-dregs.)
Now such counsel’s passé
Re cholesterol. Yay!
All those egg lies no longer have legs.
It’s A Frappe (Limerick)
Thursday, October 7th, 2021Happy National Frappe Day! (October 7)
“This diner has fabulous cakes
And surprisingly tasty strip steaks.
Their fish and chips dinner
Is surely a winner.
But sundaes and frappes? No great shakes!”
Happy Golf Lovers Day! (October 4) (Limerick)
Monday, October 4th, 2021Though I’m no fan of golf, I couldn’t resist writing a Golf Lovers Day limerick:
As a golfer swigged beer in a pub,
He bitched and he gobbled his grub:
“I’ve been flubbing my putts.
Being drubbed drives me nuts!”
The response to that putz? “Join the club!”
For Heaven Sakes, Celebrate “Sake Day!” (Oct. 1) (Limerick)
Friday, October 1st, 2021Although I share this woman’s fondness for cold sake, this limerick ISN’T about me. (Happy Sake Day!)
“No wonder our marriage was rocky;
All my ex does is eat and watch hockey.
And the chip on his shoulder
Is big as a boulder…
Plus Milwaukee has lousy cold sake.”
Happy National Punctuation Day — September 24 (Haiku)
Friday, September 24th, 2021Punctuation Day
questionable holiday
arrives without bang
Happy National Punctuation Day!
(I decided to provide that bang, after all.)
Ill-Bred Limerick
Thursday, August 26th, 2021Happy “National Dog Day.” (August 26)
My favorite breed is the “mutt.”
Yes, I know you’re about to say “But,
That isn’t a breed.”
I’m aware, but I need
To annoy nutty dog snobs who strut.
(National Mutt Day is celebrated on two days: July 31 and December 2.)
When It Comes To Knives, I’m Not The Sharpest Tool (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 24th, 2021Some people shouldn’t be trusted with knives… and I’m one of them.
Happy National Knife Day. (August 24)
For decades I wrangled with cane;
Cutting, carving, and whittling — my bane.
Wielding knives in my hands
As the oboe demands,
I made reeds — time (and blood) down the drain.
Dear Chef (Limerick)
Thursday, August 19th, 2021I’ve written my “Dear Chef” limerick to celebrate “National Hot And Spicy Food Day.” (August 19)
I like food that is spicy and hot.
Serve it bland? It’s returned on the spot.
Don’t assume you know best;
Second-guessing a guest
Means you’ve failed at your quest by a lot.
Relax, Already! (Limerick)
Sunday, August 15th, 2021It’s “National Relaxation Day” (August 15), so an insomnia limerick seems more or less on point:
I’m exhausted, worn out, barely slept.
Some brain-part is surely inept.
My mind’s in a scrum;
Relaxation won’t come.
How I wish I were sleeping-adept!
Happy “Lazy Day” (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 10th, 2021I was almost too lazy to post my “Lazy Day” limerick:
A fellow was dragging his feet.
Delay was the one goal he’d meet.
The guy was so lazy,
He drove his wife crazy…
Though his drive while in bed was a treat!
Limerick Ode To Tequila
Saturday, July 24th, 2021Happy “National Tequila Day!” (July 24)
Tequila Day’s here, so let loose!
Drink it straight; don’t dilute it with juice.
You’d rather drink beer?
Bourbon? Gin? I won’t sneer.
More tequila for MOI! So a truce!
