Happy “National Dork Day.” (July 15)
In my youth, I was probably viewed
As a dork; I was dweebness-imbued
And nerdiness prone.
And those glasses — (Loud moan!)
But it’s “Dork Day.” Don’t groan. Let’s get stewed!
Archive for the ‘Odd Holidays’ Category
Limerick Ode To Dork Day
Thursday, July 15th, 2021Happy “Treat Your Webmaster or Webmistress Day?” (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 6th, 2021Happy “Treat Your Webmaster or Webmistress Day.” (July 6)
“Treat Your Webmaster/Webmistress Day!”
How exciting! Hip Hip and Hooray!
But wait! I’ve a plight
And can’t celebrate right:
Who’s my webmaster? I am! Oy Vey!
Not Lapping Up “Swim A Lap Day” (Limerick)
Thursday, June 24th, 2021Happy “Swim A Lap Day!” (June 24)
“Swim A Lap Day?” I’ve heard that it’s here.
But my swimming is dreadful, I fear.
My strokes are too wild,
And I thrash like a child,
So it’s best that I rest on the pier.
I’m Not Sweet On Sourdough Bread (Limerick)
Thursday, April 1st, 2021To those of you who enjoy it, Happy Sourdough Bread Day! (April 1)
I am sour on sourdough bread;
Its taste tends to fill me with dread.
But at dough-contents questions
To stave off ingestions
Of sourdough, bakers see red.
I don’t mean to condemn or attack.
I can’t help it; my taste buds are wack.
To some dough, they say “No!”
So I’m begging you: Throw
Something sourdough-free in my sack.
The Perils Of Thinking (Limerick)
Friday, March 19th, 2021While thinking’s a fine thing to do,
Lately thoughts have been turning me blue.
They kick up a stink,
So I can’t sleep a wink.
(What a shame that there’s no one to sue.)
Happy “World Sleep Day!” (3rd Friday of March)
Unfashionable Limerick
Wednesday, August 21st, 2019An old woman with terrible taste
Believed fashion and style were a waste.
So when items she owned
Became trendy, she groaned;
They were thrown in the garbage posthaste.
Happy World Fashion Day! (August 21)
Another Limerick Ode To “International Nagging Day” (August 14)
Wednesday, August 14th, 2019It’s Nagging Day. Please don’t applaud
All those prodders who act like they’re god,
As they talk themselves hoarse:
“Go do this!” “Take that course!”
Here’s a thought: one-way tickets abroad.
Happy International Nagging Day! (August 14)
Not Tickled Pink Over Rosé (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 14th, 2019I’m not a big fan of rosé.
Drink anything pink? I say “Nay!”
I’ll have white wine or red,
Or some cognac, instead.
Even better, tequila! Olé!
Happy International Rosé Day! (August 14)
Limerick Ode To Eyeglasses
Tuesday, August 13th, 2019I was reading some mind-numbing prose,
Which apparently caused me to doze.
I’ve awakened — can’t see!
Did my eyeglasses flee,
Somehow slipping from nose-tip to toes?
Happy Eyeglasses Day! (August 13)
Limerick Ode To Filet Mignon
Tuesday, August 13th, 2019Happy Filet Mignon Day! (August 13)
Dear chef, though I rarely eat steak,
There is one small exception I’ll make:
A dainty filet
Mignon makes my day.
No imposter-cuts! Don’t be a snake!
Color Me Confused (Limerick)
Friday, August 2nd, 2019A coloring book meant for those
Who ain’t kids anymore? Heaven knows
Why the market’s gone mad
With this dubious fad.
I’ll be sticking with lim’ricks and prose.
Happy National Coloring Book Day! (August 2)
Two Limericks For Uncommon Musical Instrument Awareness Day
Wednesday, July 31st, 2019Since July 31st is “Uncommon Musical Instrument Awareness Day,” here’s a pair of limericks about archaic instruments:
A foolish, though musical fellow
Played bassoon, oboe, sax — even cello.
But auditions were few.
Competition? A slew!
So he learned the passé bassanello.
*****
A harpist was playing her chrotta
At a sporting event — a regatta.
She performed rather well,
But the gig went to hell
When a harpy (non-fan) threw frittata.
Ambitious Limerick
Thursday, July 25th, 2019Happy “National Culinarians Day!” (July 25) Here’s a limerick to celebrate:
A chef who was sly and ambitious
Ensured that each dish was delicious
By theft from the best.
But he fin’ly confessed…
To disclaim a review that was vicious.
Who’s Having That Picnic? (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 18th, 2019Picnics certainly hold some appeal,
For it’s hard not to savor a meal
Where the air’s fresh and sweet,
Though it sure would be neat,
If those bugs had a trifle less zeal.
Happy International Picnic Day (June 18)
Happy Sushi Day? (If you say so)
Tuesday, June 18th, 2019
Happy Get Outdoors Day (Quatrain)
Saturday, June 8th, 2019My quatrain “celebrating” National Get Outdoors Day. (Second Saturday of June)
The sky was so effulgent,
it lured me outside.
But the temps and gusts were brutal.
Seems that sneaky sun lied.
Limerick Ode To World Gin Day
Saturday, June 8th, 2019Happy World Gin Day! (2nd Saturday in June)
A salty old boor who likes gin
Claims an ill-made martini’s a sin.
How he’ll grumble and snipe,
As he gins up each gripe!
Those poor bartenders never can win.
Happy World Whiskey Day! (Limerick)
Saturday, May 18th, 2019Many people are prone to get frisky
The minute they guzzle some whiskey.
But it’s worse, you’ll agree,
When while off on a spree,
Their behavior’s (tsk-tsk) rather risky.
Happy World Whiskey Day! (3rd Saturday of May)
Thumbs Down On Plants? (Limerick)
Saturday, May 18th, 2019A fellow was planning to plant
Some fruit, but his wife said, “You can’t.
I hate to sound mean,
But your thumbs aren’t green;
Seems your nurturing talents are scant.”
May 18 is Fascination of Plants Day and May 19 is Plant Something Day.
About Edward Lear’s Last Lines (Limerick)
Sunday, May 12th, 2019Happy birthday Edward Lear and happy Limerick Day! But about those redundant Lear last lines:
This limerick lacks a good ending.
And please note that I’m sure not defending
Any Lear final line.
(Are they dull by design?)
This limerick lacks a good ending.
