A lim’rick a day keeps away
The doctor — at least, so they say.
Well okay, I’ll concede
I invented that lede,
But it sure beats that “apple” cliché!
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
A lim’rick a day keeps away
The doctor — at least, so they say.
Well okay, I’ll concede
I invented that lede,
But it sure beats that “apple” cliché!
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
Pilots know their career’s on the wane
When bosses respond with disdain
To suggestions they make,
And tell them to take
A long trip on a very slow train.
(National Train Day falls on the second Saturday of May.)
Happy Chia Day! (March 23)
Gastric issues? Some recommend chia.
It might help; at least that’s the idea
To avoid constipation.
But measure your ration
Cuz ALSO not fun: DIARRHEA!
The dentist belonged to a faction
That would mouth off in ev’ry transaction.
One could never extract
Any manners or tact
From the man, which is why he’s in traction.
National Dentist’s Day is celebrated annually on March 6.
While I don’t drink stout (or any sort of beer, ale, lager, etc.) I couldn’t resist celebrating “International Stout Day” with a limerick:
A patient whose ailment was gout,
Was informed that he drank too much stout.
The fellow turned pale,
As he yelled “I need ale!
“Downing beer is what living’s about.”
Is the Net good or bad at its core?
For it’s frequently hard to adore.
But on “Internet Day”
All in all, I must say
That it DOES make us hard to ignore.
This has nothing to do with World Spine Day (Oct. 16,) but it DOES include the word “spine.” That should count for something, right?
When I try to read e-books, I pine
For the texture of paper and spine.
I can see their appeal,
But for me there’s no deal,
And I cherish my library/shrine.
My cooking’s so bad,
Hubby Mark begs me not to,
Signed CIA grad.
(The arts CIA — NOT the culinary … or spy one.)
There once was a newlywed rhino
Who discovered her mate was a wino.
“We’re endangered,” she’d curse.
“Your damn wine makes it worse!”
“White wine’s fine,” he replied. “I’m albino.”
(My first rhino limerick is here. It’s included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)
Happy World Rhino Day! (September 22)
It’s Hydration Day. Do not forget:
It’s important to keep your bod wet.
On the inside, I mean,
And not booze or caffeine.
Drinking water replenishes sweat.
A zoo worker fouled her own nest
By planting false rumors with zest;
That some birds were at large
Cuz the fellow in charge
Told the penguins: “You’re free. Go fly west.”
Happy “Take A Chance Day!” (April 23)
A fellow who likes taking chances
Keeps messing up likely advances.
But despite each blown op,
He refuses to stop:
“Risks are worth it.” Yes, that’s what his stance is.
Happy World Laboratory Day! (April 23)
A fellow who worked in a lab
Helped discover a cure rather fab.
But alas he was bought;
He blabbed and got caught.
Now his body’s laid out on a slab.
It’s “Send Your Man Nudes Day.” Oy Vey!
Will I celebrate THAT one? No way!
I’m too old for that stuff,
So no pics in the buff!
I’ll forgo risking cyber-display.
Send Your Man Nudes Day falls on April 22 each year.
Is age just a number? Who knows?
Some say “yes.” Others suff’ring the woes
Of senescence will wage
A war against age,
To disguise the “gifts” aging bestows.
Happy Age Is Just A Number Day! (March 22)
Since it’s “French Language Day…” (March 20)
I once could speak French, but no more.
All its words fled my brain, though j’adore
Their pure tone — très charmant,
Which is just what I want
In la langue. Quel dommage mine’s so poor!
A genius who’s famed for his brain,
Won’t deign to do chores. They’re his bane.
So he’ll handily coax
Help from generous folks;
His true gift’s palming off the mundane.
Happy Genius Day! (March 14)
It’s National Genealogy Day. (2nd Saturday of March)
A woman whose quest for her roots
Revealed relatives deep in cahoots
With a killer and bandit,
Has finally canned it
And buried her fam’ly tree fruits.
Though it’s “Skirt Day,” I’d rather wear pants,
Whether walking or trying to dance.
I’ll ponder and pause,
Lest I feature my flaws —
Flaws that skirts simply love to enhance.