Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category
Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
As long as the GOP’s packed with headline-grabbing wingnuts like Michele Bachmann, the Republican reboot’s going nowhere:
Attention, GOP: Your rebranding attempts are being undercut by a segment of your party getting big headlines and lots of airtime — a segment symbolized by the Minnesota quote-machine, Rep. Michele Bachmann. Due to a series of gaffes, she is again on the receiving end of criticism, including from Fox News powerhouse Bill O’Reilly. The congresswoman is also, as reported by The Daily Beast’s John Avlon, “embroiled in a litany of legal proceedings related to her rolling disaster of a presidential campaign — including an Office of Congressional Ethics investigation into campaign improprieties.”
…She speaks in apocalyptic terms about President Obama and Democrats. She has never met an inaccuracy or exaggeration she didn’t like in her thirst to negatively define the other side. (Fact-checkers following her speeches may soon have to seek workmen’s compensation.)…
Rebootus Interruptus (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP wants to reboot—
Switch its image from crazy old coot
To something appealing,
More meanness-concealing—
A change that its zealots refute.
Tags: Congress Humor, Fox News, GOP Humor, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, Religious Zealotry, Republican Hypocrisy, Republican Reboot, Republican Rebranding, Wingnuts
Posted in GOP Humor, Michele Bachmann, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
Monday, April 1st, 2013
If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Battering Spouses, Colorado, Domestic Abuse, Family Values, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Family Values Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
Most experts seem to think the U.S. Supreme Court will strike down DOMA, thereby ending the federal ban on benefits to gay spouses. The question is: Will they do it based upon equal protection, or states’ rights? The former (seemingly supported by the four liberal Supremes) is vastly preferable, but the later appears more likely; the perennial swing judge, Justice Anthony Kennedy, is more of a states’ rights kinda guy.
Limerick Ode To DOMA’s Demise
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m GLAD to hear DOMA’s in trouble.
But will Justices safe in their bubble
Concede that it’s wrong,
Beat the gong, say so long
To treating gay couples like rubble?
Tags: Constitution Verse, Defense Of Marriage Act, DOMA, Equal Protection, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Homophobes, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Marriage Equality, Same Sex Marriage, States Rights, Supreme Court Limerick
Posted in Constitution Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Government Services, Homophobia, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Thursday, March 21st, 2013
I can only assume that when Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell looks in the mirror, he somehow sees a very youthful, attractive fellow. Otherwise he would surely avoid making this ageist, lookist, and sexist jab at Hillary Clinton:
“Finally, don’t tell me that Democrats are the party of the future when their presidential ticket for 2016 is shaping up to look like a rerun of the ‘Golden Girls,’” McConnell said in his morning address to CPAC, drawing laughter and applause.
Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Someone ought to inform Leader Mitch
Of his party’s new “lure women” pitch:
Saying Hillary C-run
Is Golden Girls rerun
Most likely won’t tempt us to switch.
Tags: Ageism, Election 2016, Feminist Limerick, Hillary Clinton, Lookism, Mitch McConnell, Presidential Election, Sexism
Posted in Ageism Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Social Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, March 20th, 2013
Rachel Maddow has temporarily sworn off speculating about Election 2016. But fortunately (or unfortunately) I’ve taken no such pledge:
Appalling Speculation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican race in ’16
Could be Ryan v. Rand — what a scene!
Two Pauls in one bout —
Mass confusion, no doubt.
Neither one’s worth so much as a Bean.*
*Paul Ryan’s anti-abortion rhetoric included a claim that he nicknamed his daughter Liza “Bean” because at seven weeks his “little baby was in the shape of a bean.” Ryan has been accused of stealing this anecdote from the late Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Anti-Abortion Rhetoric, Bean, Election 2016, Kurt Cobain, Nirvana, Paul Ryan, Presidential Election, Rachel Maddow, Rand Paul
Posted in Abortion Rights, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, March 14th, 2013
I sure hope you aren’t falling for the Republicans’ pretense of reforming themselves. Although they’ve been pretending to moderate themselves in order to attract women and Latinos, their policies are more brutally extreme than ever:
Don’t be fooled. On the ground, a very different reality is unfolding: In the Republican-led Congress, GOP-dominated statehouses and even before the nation’s highest court, the reactionary impulses of the Republican Party appear unbowed. Across the nation, the GOP’s severely conservative agenda – which seeks to impose job-killing austerity, to roll back voting and reproductive rights, to deprive the working poor of health care, and to destroy agencies that protect the environment from industry and consumers from predatory banks – is moving forward under full steam.
Limerick Ode To Republican “Reformers”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s steaming ahead
With plans that most people should dread.
Though they speak of reform,
They’re reverting to norm,
Thus ensuring we’re bled and unfed.
Tags: GOP Humor, Reform, Republicans Humor
Posted in GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Friday, March 8th, 2013
John Boehner had a hissy fit over the sequester-caused suspension of White House tours.
“The President is trying to make it tough on members of Congress. It’s just silly. I want to know who is being laid off at the White House. The Capitol is open for tours. We’ve been planning for this for months.”
Perhaps Boehner should have spent those months planning to avoid sequestration.
(Note that the transcript originally read “It’s just sick.” Then at some point, “sick” was changed to “silly.” Since I don’t have access to the audio, I don’t know which one is accurate.)
Touring Boehner’s Brain (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To save cash, White House tours are curtailed,
But the House tours have NOT been derailed.
So you still can have fun
Seeing nothing get done
On the Hill, watching nonsense unveiled.
Tags: Budget Cuts, Budget Limerick, Capitol Humor, Congress Humor, Congressional Tours, DC Tourism Humor, House Tours, John Boehner, Republicans Humor, Sequester Humor, Sequestration, Washington DC, White House Tours
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, John Boehner, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, March 6th, 2013
Among the many lies told about Obama, is the well-debunked myth that he’s “lazy.” Sorry Roger Ailes, but you’re apparently confusing Obama with his predecessor.
Limerick Ode To Roger Ailes
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Roger Ailes says Obama is “lazy.”
Dear Roger, your memory’s hazy:
He’s vacationed way less
Than the fellow whose mess
He’s been fixing. You’re racist, or crazy.
Tags: Barack Obama, Fox News, George W. Bush, Lazy Pols, Media Humor, Racism, Roger Ailes
Posted in Barack Obama, Fox News Humor, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 5th, 2013
Republican creativity never ceases to amaze me. Here’s the latest in Iowa’s battle against teenage promiscuity:
Seven Republicans in the Iowa House are pushing a bill to prohibit parents of minor children from getting a “no fault” divorce and the proposal could be debated in a House committee this week.
A three-member subcommittee debated the bill today. Representative Tedd Gassman, a Republican from Scarville, said he’s concerned about the negative impact divorce has on children.
“In my opinion, it’s time to look out for the children instead of constantly worrying about the adults,” Gassman said.
Representative Gassman said the issue is “near and dear” to his heart because his daughter and son-in-law recently divorced, putting his granddaughter at risk.
“There’s a 16-year-old girl in this whole mix now. Guess what? What are the possibilities of her being more promiscuous?” Gassman said. “What are the possibilities of all these other things surrounding her life that a 16-year-old girl, with hormones raging, can get herself into?”
Promiscuous Law-Making (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your children are minors, watch out!
You may have to stay wed to that lout:
It seems no-fault divorce
May be nixed, as of course,
By Iowan wingnuts with clout.
Tags: Divorce, Iowa, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, No-Fault Divorce, Parents, Promiscuous Teens, Republicans Humor, Ted Gassman
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Iowa Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Social Satire | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 4th, 2013
I’ve been meaning to write about Antonin Scalia’s obnoxious Voting Rights Act comments. Something tells me he’d be a bit more enthused about the law, if the people it protected tended to vote Republican.
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Scalia gave quite the recital
With that “racial entitlement” title
He “bestowed” on the vote,
Fearing Dem voter bloat:
To Scalia, such voters ain’t vital.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Discrimination, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, Racial Bias, Supreme Court Humor, Voting Limerick, Voting Rights Act, VRA
Posted in Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, Entitlements Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Racism Limerick, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Friday, March 1st, 2013
Some article titles say it all: “Pete King Can’t Believe Rubio Has the ‘Balls’ to Fundraise in New York.”
Here’s Rep. Peter King, a conservative Republican who represents much of Long Island, New York:
“Being from New York we’re not supposed to be suckers,” Mr. King told Politicker this morning. “It’s bad enough that these guys voted against it, that’s inexcusable enough. But to have the balls to come in and say, ‘We screwed you now make us president?’”
Limerick Ode To Peter King
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear wealthy New Yorkers, says King,
Do not give any money or bling
To a pol who said “no”
To the Storm Sandy dough.
I agree, which feels odd — King’s right-wing.
Tags: Fund Raising, Marco Rubio, New York, Peter King, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republican Donors, Superstorm Sandy, Wealth Humor
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, New York Politics, Peter King, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Peter King
Thursday, February 28th, 2013
Michael Kinsley is amused by the Republicans’ conflicting complaints about Democrats. So am I.
Limerick Ode To Republican Whiners
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Since Dems are so often maligned
As wimpy, I’m startled to find
A new GOP gripe:
Dems are meanies, they snipe.
Please Republicans, make up your mind.
Tags: GOP Humor, Michael Kinsley, Republican Humor
Posted in GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Friday, February 22nd, 2013
John Boehner’s 2011 PowerPoint presentation provides ample proof that sequestration originated with the Republicans.
But even if we didn’t have that smoking gun slide show, the GOP’s attempt to label it “Obama’s sequester” wouldn’t pass the straight-face test. Here’s Andrew Sullivan making that powerful point:
…I simply cannot see how a political party that has branded itself in favor of drastic spending cuts can somehow win a public debate in which they are now apparently opposing drastic spending cuts, and “blaming” them on Obama. And their branding means that the slow government shutdown we will almost certainly now face will surely stick more to them than to Obama.
Sequestration Blame Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What’s the key to the GOP brand?
Budget cuts that our land can’t withstand.
So it’s laughably lame
That they’re trying to claim
The sequester’s Obama’s scheme grand.
Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Barack Obama, Blame Game, Budget Cuts, Defense Spending, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Obama's Sequester, Republican Rebranding, Republicans Humor, Sequestration
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
I won’t be visiting Jay Laze’s pizza place any time soon:
A Virginia Beach pizza shop owner is showing his support for firearm rights by giving gun owners a 15 percent discount.
The discount is given to anyone who brings a gun or concealed handgun permit to All Around Pizzas and Deli.
The Right To Bear Arms … And Eat Cheap Pizza (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This news from Virginia’s alarming,
Although some may consider it charming:
Bring your gun to Jay’s shop.
Watch your pizza price drop.
I do NOT find this fellow disarming.
Tags: All Around Pizzas And Deli, Assault Weapons, Firearms, Food Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Jay Laze, National Rifle Association, NRA, Pizza Discount, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution, Virginia, Virginia Beach
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Virginia Humor | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, February 19th, 2013
Here’s a Chris Christie quote that may come back to haunt him: “I’m not much different from Andrew Cuomo. I probably agree with him on 98% of the issues.”
Open Limerick To Chris Christie
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Chris, if the Oval’s your goal,
Then you’re digging yourself a deep hole:
You have said that your views
Are like Cuomo’s — bad news!
To your party each Dem is a troll.
Tags: Andrew Cuomo, Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Election Humor, Larry Bulman, New Jersey, New York, Oval Office, Republicans Humor, White House
Posted in Andrew Cuomo, Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Election Satire, GOP Humor, New Jersey Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Chris Christie
Thursday, February 14th, 2013
I’ve been mystified by the general reaction to Sen. Marco Rubio’s delivery of the GOP response to the State of the Union address.
Yes, his desperate lunge for water looked awkward. Nonetheless, his performance just doesn’t deserve the mockery it’s been getting. In fact, Marco Rubio is the one Republican who worries me.
I find Rubio alarmingly likeable. And I was struck by his ability to lie so convincingly and charmingly.
But I was starting to doubt my own instincts when I came across these comments from Van Jones in response to questioning from CNN anchor Carol Costello:
“Rubio is dangerous for Democrats,” Jones said. “I’m so glad we’re talking about him and we’re joking about him because right when he reached for that water bottle, he was reaching an emotional part of the speech which he stepped on.”
Jones said the while Florida’s junior senator “has an extreme record,” Rubio’s political skill shone through in the last 90 seconds of his speech, which Jones said was “extremely powerful.”
“(Rubio) is to the heart what Paul Ryan is to the head,” Jones said. “This man can connect emotionally.”
Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Although Rubio’s drinking looked gawky,
I’m begging you Dems, don’t get cocky:
He lies better than Ryan
And charm’s underlyin’
His falsehoods. So things could get rocky.
Tags: Carol Costello, CNN, Florida, Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan, Political Speech, Political Verse, Republican Response, SOTU, State Of The Union Address, Van Jones
Posted in GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013
I generally liked Obama’s SOTU speech. But his voting rights commission plan is unadulterated crapola. How do you give the illusion of dealing with a problem, while doing nothing at all? Appoint a commission.
Obama’s decision to create a voter suppression commission would be bad enough. But he added insult to injury by naming Mitt Romney campaign lawyer Ben Ginsberg to his two-person panel. The very same Ben Ginsberg who helped lead the 2000 recount effort for George W. Bush — an attorney who considers voter suppression a feature, not a bug.
Another Commission? “Ben” There, Done That (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Since voter suppression’s the mission
Of Republicans, voter attrition
Will keep getting worse.
A commission’s a curse.
We need action with great expedition.
Tags: 2000 Recount, Barack Obama, Ben Ginsberg, Commissions Satire, George W. Bush, Mitt Romney, Republicans Limerick, SOTU, State Of The Union Address, Voter Suppression, Voting Limerick
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Speeches Satire, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 11th, 2013
As Obama’s State of the Union address draws nearer, the press (thanks to GOP prodding) has become obsessed with one question: Why the focus on a liberal agenda, instead of jobs and the economy?
Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.
So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”
Tags: Congress Humor, Economy Satire, Employment Humor, GOP Humor, Jobs Jobs Jobs, Liberal Agenda, Media Humor, Obstructionism, President Obama, Press, Republicans Humor, SOTU, State Of The Union Address
Posted in 44 Humor, Congress Humor, Economy Humor, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Legislation Humor, Media Satire, Money & Finance Humor, Money And Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Friday, February 8th, 2013
Here’s a headline I could have done without: “Bill would define abortion as murder.”
State Rep. Rob Bacon believes abortion is murder and he wants the Iowa Code to reflect that.
Bacon, R-Slater, and eight other Republicans introduced such a bill in the Iowa House Wednesday. It would alter the definition of a person in murder cases to “an individual human being, without regard to age of development, from the moment of conception, when a zygote is formed, until natural death.”
Those charged with murder, under the bill, would include a mother who takes abortion-inducing drugs or a doctor who performs an abortion. It also grants no exceptions for rape, incest or to protect the life of the mother.
Bacon’s Crusade Ain’t Kosher (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If an Iowa Rep has his way
Women’s rights will yet further decay.
Zygote-rights will be greater
Than gals’, as pols cater
To nuts. Will he fail? Let us pray.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Fanatics Humor, Feminist Limerick, Iowa, Murder Definition, Rob Bacon, Zygote-Rights
Posted in Abortion Rights, Filibuster Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts, Women's Rights | Comments Off on Bacon’s Crusade Ain’t Kosher (Limerick)
Monday, February 4th, 2013
I’m enjoying the conflicting rumors about Tagg Romney perhaps running for John Kerry’s old Senate Seat.
Limerick Ode To Tagg Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A scion of Romney, named Tagg,
Voiced a punchy, but fantasy brag
About “taking a swing”
At our prez, so his fling
At the Senate may well hit a snag.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, John Kerry, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Tagg Romney, U.S. Senate
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 5 Comments »
