Archive for the ‘Limerick Contest’ Category
Sunday, November 29th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using FLAKE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner December 13th, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 12, at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A gal who was rather a flake
Always screwed up whatever she’d bake,
And whenever she’d try
To feed someone her pie,
Their response would be, “This takes the cake.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Cakes Humor, Competition Limerick, Dessert Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Pie Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 114 Comments »
Sunday, November 29th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SUZANNE HEYMANN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
For church, we’ve got no time to spend,
And the sermons we don’t comprehend,
So I set up a dummy
Of me and my mummy.
We tend to pretend we attend.
Congratulations to Judith H. Block on her Facebook Friends’ Choice Award:
This Thanksgiving we need to intend
To be kind and to try to transcend
Misconceptions and fears.
We’ve all shed enough tears.
The world needs more love, in the end.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Ailsa McKillop, Kirk Miller, Tim James, Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz, Dave Johnson, and Errol Nimbly a/k/a Byron Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Ailsa McKillop:
So you know when you plain overspend
On some Blahniks, egged on by your friend?
Hubby asks you the price
And without thinking twice
You halve it. That’s right, gals pretend!
Kirk Miller:
The tornado book follows a trend
Of suspense books that oftentimes tend
To give a surprise.
If readers are wise,
They’ll expect there’s a twist at the end.
Tim James:
Ladies, THIS is important. Attend:
There’s this guy, all laid up, on the mend,
While sweet, innocent Jean
(In the ways of love, green)
Says, “Good heavens! I thought it could bend!”
Brian Allgar:
They keep sending me ads to extend
The size of a lecher’s best friend,
So I trash it – no dice!
If I took their advice,
I’d be just a big prick in the end.
Fred Bortz:
I was warmly invited to spend
Some time to inter my good friend.
But it seems I was cursed,
And, alas, I died first.
So I sent my regrets: “Can’t attend.”
Dave Johnson:
Her lover won’t even defend
His failure to stretch and extend
Their moment of bliss
Beyond only this:
“OH YES!” He rolls over. The end.
Errol Nimbly a/k/a Byron Miller:
I have an effeminate friend.
Local NFL games we attend,
Though he’s not into sports.
It’s because he cavorts
With a certain young rookie tight end.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Ailsa McKillop, Brian Allgar, Byron Miller, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Judith H. Block, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Saturday, November 14th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using TEND or ATTEND or PRETEND at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner early on November 29, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full two weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 28 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A horseman refused to attend
Any weddings, detesting the trend
Of his friends getting married
And ending up harried:
“It’s time for this nightmare to end!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Wedding Humor, Wedding Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 88 Comments »
Saturday, November 14th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Your mama’s the sexual type.
She likes to go hunting for SNIPE
And she thinks SNIPE is PENIS.
(SEX DAILY between us
Is more than DYSLEXIA hype!)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Tim James, David Reddekopp, Robert Schechter, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
Every day she would snivel and snipe:
“Must you smoke that unspeakable tripe?”
So he smoked the old bag,
Got a new tin of shag,
And contentedly puffed on his pipe.
Tim James:
I’m so jealous I can’t even snipe.
His gal Friday, according to hype,
With her hands, mouth, and *that*
Laid the fellow out flat;
With her toes she’d concurrently type.
David Reddekopp:
Amazed at the size of my pipe,
My girlfriend would snicker and snipe:
“Now that you have revealed it
I ask, can you wield it?
Let’s hope it lives up to the hype.”
Robert Schechter:
The Donald is nothing but hype,
A blowhard. We all know the type.
He boasts and he struts
But he’s simply a putz
Who has mastered the Art of the Snipe.
Konrad Schwoerke:
Though I swear I do not mean to snipe,
There are rules for those times that we Skype.
No one wants to see ass
In the bathroom — it’s crass—
And, for God’s sake, don’t stand there and wipe!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, David Reddekopp, Jon Gearhart, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 6 Comments »
Sunday, November 8th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SNIPE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Give me substance! Do NOT type up tripe,
Said the law prof, who’d frequently snipe
At his class, which thus far
Set a very low bar
And seemed likely to stay true to type.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Education & School Humor, Law School, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Professors, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Education & School Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Forms | 56 Comments »
Sunday, November 8th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
The lion would lazily stride
Round his patch, or just lie on his side.
“Hunt for dinner? Nah, this is
A job for the missus –
It’s housework, and I have my pride.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, Will T. Laughlin, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Dave Johnson:
With Lady Godiva astride,
They went for a notable ride.
What the villagers saw
Wasn’t sanctioned by law;
But some were left swollen with pride.
Will T. Laughlin:
Quoth the alchemist, glowing with pride
At his latest alchemical stride:
“With this potion, behold!
I shall never grow old!”
(Then he choked as he swallowed, and died.)
Fred Bortz:
The GOP hopefuls have tried
To convince us that science has lied.
But as temperatures soar
And the superstorms roar,
The facts are just hitting their stride.
All but one, Lindsay Graham, denied
That we all need to act ere we’re fried.
But alas, every poll
Shows him deep in the hole.
His chances have practically died.
And his other views? I can’t abide.
So I’ll never be found on his side.
In November sixteen
There’ll be no in-between.
I’ll vote Clinton or Sanders with pride.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (238)
Sunday, November 1st, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either STRIDE or ASTRIDE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A jogger stopped trying to hide
Her concerns about being a bride;
She sent out this tweet
To her boyfriend: “You’re sweet.
Wedding’s off, though. Please take it in stride.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Jogging Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Social Media Poetry, Twitter Verse, Wedding Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Social Media Humor, Twitter Humor | 59 Comments »
Sunday, November 1st, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
In the headlights of cars, something showed.
It was just up ahead, so I slowed.
Saw a pie in the street
That I wanted to eat,
So I looked for a fork in the road.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Brian Allgar, Will T. Laughlin, Errol Nimbly a/k/a Byron Miller, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
She was looking for sex on the road.
He was just a bit strange, and it showed.
So just why did he lick
Ice cream off of this chick?
He prefers all his tarts a la mode.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose
Said Dad, at the wheel on the road:
“If you kids have to use the commode,
Since we ain’t near a rest
It would be for the best
If you opened the door while I slowed.”
Brian Allgar:
The beta test went on the road
For their app: ‘Win A Prince, Kiss The Toad.’
But no prince came; instead,
Roaches bit off her head.
They suspect there are bugs in the code.
Will T. Laughlin:
Religious observance is owed
Where the poultry truck buckled and bowed.
Her companions are splats
On the highway, and that’s
Why the Chicken was Crossing the Road.
Errol Nimbly a/k/a Byron Miller
Paid a doxy just what she was owed,
Then at sea, in my dinghy, got blowed;
But the mutinous whore
Swam away with an oar,
Which explains why, in circles, I rowed.
Dave Johnson:
When Lady Godiva bestowed
Her charms on the town where she rode,
They noticed a rise
In amorous guys;
Along with the seeds that they sowed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Byron Miller, Dave Johnson, David Lefkovits, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, October 24th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROAD or RODE or ROWED at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Said a sandal-clad man on the road
To his newly bought country abode,
“Though I don’t mean to quibble,
I just felt a nibble.
Could my toes have encountered a toad?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 65 Comments »
Saturday, October 24th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Tim James:
Rhett Butler made many heads turn
When he dealt sobbing Scarlett that burn.
A true Southern gent
Would have said as he went:
“Mah dear, Ah just don’t give a durn.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathy El-Assal, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kathy El-Assal:
The personna for whom viewers yearn
Is a Tina-as-Palin type turn
Who’ll earn kudos and laughs
For quaint quirks and fun gaffes.
That’s why SNL’s feeling the Bern.
Brian Allgar:
Said the preacher, “Just listen and learn –
You sinners are all gonna burn!
Your transgression enrages
The Good Lord – the wages
Of sin will be paid in an urn.”
Dave Johnson:
The candles continue to burn;
She’s intent on fulfilling a yearn.
But his focus instead
Is SportsCenter, not bed;
It looks like he might miss a turn.
Konrad Schwoerke:
She was not one her trainer should spurn,
But he did, and she swore he would learn.
So because of her ire,
She lit him on fire,
Then asked, “Are you feeling the burn?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Kathy El-Assal, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 2 Comments »
Saturday, October 17th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using BURN at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A woman was feeling the burn
While working to firm up her stern.
“But your butt is perfection!”
Was hubby’s objection.
“It’s a rear end I’m learning to earn.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Exercise Humor, Gym Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 74 Comments »
Saturday, October 17th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
That new composition’s a bore:
Just hear how the listeners snore.
(The composer, though, knows
That they’re likely to doze:
He’s written them into the score.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Ailsa McKillop, David Reddekopp, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
He took up his chisel to score
A design on his new stable-door.
When the horse tried to bolt
He just took out his Colt
And shot it. His colt is no more.
Ailsa McKillop:
Allusions there were by the score
(The meter; a raven; Lenore)
In my parody, terse.
But so few knew Poe’s verse
That there seemed little point. Nevermore.
David Reddekopp:
The troops came and told me the score
About why they were fighting the war:
“We make war, since you wonder,
For pillage and plunder.”
I said “You’re corrupt!” to the corps.
Brian Allgar: (A variant on an old story)
“If I offered a million to score,
Would you let me have sex with you?” “Sure!”
When he said “And ten bucks
For a couple of fucks?”,
She exclaimed “Do you think I’m a whore?”
“With all due respect”, replied he,
We’ve established, I think you’ll agree,
What you are beyond doubt.
Now we’re haggling about
The amount you’ll accept as your fee.”
David Reddekopp: (Turning Twix)
“Oh, Henry,” says Candy, the whore.
She Snickers, “would you like to Skor?
For a modest PayDay
You’ll have your Milky Way.”
But his Aero has hurt her; she’s sore.
Dave Johnson:
Whenever you’re ready to score,
Our product can help with the chore.
With just one little pill
You’ll keep going until
You are both really happy – or sore.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Ailsa McKillop, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 3 Comments »
Sunday, October 11th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SCORE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A singer was trying to score
With a woman who thought him a bore.
Though he tried to impress her,
He’d never undress her
Cuz hearing his voice was a chore.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Singers, Singing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 85 Comments »
Sunday, October 11th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
On Twitter, his words start to spill
Late at night, and he probably will
Find a way to abuse
Anyone in the news
Who refuses to trumpet his swill.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Yt cai, Tim James, Dave Johnson, Daisy Mae Simon, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Yt cai:
In aisle three, I was cleaning a spill;
Jars of pickles, some sweet and some dill.
The mop wasn’t workin’
I slipped on a gherkin.
To this day it is lodged in me still.
Tim James:
Phil the bear hunter, out for a kill,
Dropped his rifle on taking a spill.
He rolled downhill and then
Straight into a den.
Lucky bears. They’ve now eaten their Phil.
Dave Johnson:
Our waiter had managed to spill
The wine from a glass he did fill.
It fell on her dress,
A terrible mess;
We’re adding a tip to his bill.
Daisy Mae Simon:
Too many think guns are a thrill,
But their purpose is solely to kill.
Mass shootings? “Let’s pray,”
Say the pro-NRA.
Rinse, repeat. How much blood can they spill?
Brian Allgar:
He tried very hard not to spill
The eggs that he’d beaten with dill,
But gave up in despair.
For an omelette, rare,
Simply cannot be cooked on the grill.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Daisy Mae Simon, Dave Johnson, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest, Yt cai
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Saturday, October 3rd, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SPILL at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A chef, upon spotting a spill
From a gin bottle, started to grill
All his washers and cooks,
Asking “Which of you crooks
Made this mess?” But his proof remained nil.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Chef Humor, Competition Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Liquor Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 63 Comments »
Saturday, October 3rd, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
For a call girl she likes simple chow,
But she charges a grand to drop trou
For a night’s worth of vice.
Here’s her totaled-up price:
Jug of wine, loaf of bread, and a thou.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Schechter, Ian Graham, David Reddekopp, Dave Johnson, Tim James, Konrad Schwoerke, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Robert Schechter:
In Italy, friends, I learned how,
When leaving the palace, to bow.
This courtesy brings
The favor of kings.
(They get mad if you only say ciao.)
Ian Graham:
In the midst of a meeting with Mao,
The Central Committee said “Ciao.
We’re all off to munch
A hot dog for lunch.
We’re told there’s Great Chow in Macao.”
David Reddekopp:
I’m going to make this my vow:
To party for Lent – oh, and how!
For the fast goes by fast
When you’re having a blast
And so now I say “ciao” to my chow.
Dave Johnson:
With hipster beards popular now,
Some fellows have figured out how
To grow ’em real thick
Like a hair-covered brick;
It’s handy for storing some chow.
Tim James:
A sailor, ashore for some chow,
Met a lady who asked him just how
Swabbies “do it.” He laughed,
Turned her round, faced her aft,
And rammed into her stern with his prow.
Konrad Schwoerke:
We were told, on our cruise to Macao,
That some Asians eat dog even now.
And it’s true, ’cause one day
At a local café
Our host asked, “May we bring you some chow?”
Suzanne Heymann:
While making her first wedding vow
The wife planned their life and here’s how:
“I can clean, pay the bills.
I have great bedroom skills.
Just don’t ask me to cook any chow.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Endnote: I’m posting this nearly four hours before deadline because I’m under the weather; I want to make sure I get it done while my brain is still more or less working. :) If I love any additional limerick that comes in within the regular deadline, I’ll add it to the Honorable Mentions.
Tags: Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Ian Graham, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, September 27th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either CHOW or CIAO at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A woman said “Ciao!” to her chow
When she heard it emit a meow.
She was vexed and upset;
Though her vet swore her pet,
Was a canine, that gal had a cow.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Canine Humor, Cat Humor, Competition Limerick, Dog Verse, Dogs Humor, Feline Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 57 Comments »
Sunday, September 27th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KATHY EL-ASSAL, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever Acrostic Limerick:
Culled by Carly, the workers got canned.
And at H.P., her tenure was panned.
Re-emerging to fight,
Lobbing zingers far right,
Yessiree, she could F up the land.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Phil Graham, Diane Groothuis, and ROBERT SCHECHTER. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
Dr. Frankenstein searched through the land
For each muscle, limb, organ and gland.
Yet his beast makes no fist;
Both arms end at the wrist.
Ain’t he great, folks? Let’s give him a hand!
Dave Johnson:
A bottle was found in the sand
With a note from a far-away land.
“We’ll come to your shore
Like so many before…
But not ’till The Trumpster is canned.”
David Reddekopp:
The gift that we gave her was grand.
She no longer relied on her hand.
On the sofa sat Alice
With vibrating phallus,
And Alice was in Wonderland.
Phil Graham:
Just a banjo, no need for a band,
As the embers of justice he fanned.
Folk music’s more meager
Since losing Pete Seeger;
He “hammered all over this land.”
Diane Groothuis:
He came with his hat in his hand,
Apology practiced and planned:
“I am sorry my dear
For bruising your ear.
That blowfly was trying to land.”
Robert Schechter:
In farms found throughout this great land,
There’s a rule that all cows understand,
And it’s so fundamental!
When milking, be gentle.
Don’t yank on the mammary gland.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Diane Groothuis, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phil Graham, Robert Schechter, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (232)
Saturday, September 19th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using LAND at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A consultant was hoping to land
A restaurant client whose brand
Had been tarnished by scandal;
Its chef was a vandal
Who went nuts when his cooking was panned.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Chef Humor, Consultant Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Tags: Competition Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 64 Comments »
Saturday, September 19th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Robert Schechter:
“I’ve lost my poor beak! Damn my luck!
Without it, my life will just suck.
They’re expensive, but face it:
I need to replace it.
Just send me the bill,” said the duck.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Adam Stern, Will T. Laughlin, Kathy El-Assal, Robert Schechter, and David Reddekopp. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Adam Stern:
A white Pekin with plenty of pluck
To the bartender strode, past the ruck.
“Hey, there! What’ll you choose?”
“I like nuts in my booze.”
“Try a hickory daiquiri, duck!”
Will T. Laughlin:
’Cross the barnyard the miscreant snuck,
And Farmer Buck’s buttocks he struck.
With a furious QUACK!
He began his attack…
Lemme tell you, that’s one piquing duck!
Kathy El-Assal:
Since Obama is now a lame-duck,
The Tea Party’s running amok:
Trumped up boasting’s applauded
While rumors are lauded,
Canards for the Fox crowd to pluck.
Robert Schechter:
When the goose fell in love with the duck,
His mom and his dad went amok.
“We find it distressing
And don’t give our blessing!
She’s American. You’re a Canuck!”
David Reddekopp:
A duck and a rabbit? What luck!
A dilemma – poor Elmer is stuck.
Some believe that Bugs Bunny
Was fiendishly funny
To say it’s the season for duck.
But I reckon the rabbit’s a schmuck.
If you sell out your friend, then you suck.
Shots went by the duck’s head.
Should he drop and play dead?
What I’d do is tell Daffy to duck.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Adam Stern, David Reddekopp, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (231)
