Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SNIPE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SNIPE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Give me substance! Do NOT type up tripe,
Said the law prof, who’d frequently snipe
At his class, which thus far
Set a very low bar
And seemed likely to stay true to type.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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56 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SNIPE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Sue Dulley says:

    While birding, I spotted a snipe.
    Each side of its head bore a stripe.
    A “Common”? No! Now
    It’s called “Wilson’s” – somehow
    They’ve renamed it with minimal hype.

  2. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The inventor’s wife, my, how she’d snipe
    As he built her a new prototype
    A machine that destroys
    All his musical toys
    The first one – the old windy bagpipe!

  3. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If bagpipers know how to pipe
    Then snipers should know how to snipe
    If a wiper can wipe
    But a diaper can’t dipe
    I must ask, can a stereo type?

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    She explained to the fellow: “My type
    Is mature, although not overripe:
    Not too old, not too young,
    And they must be well-hung …”
    She was placing an order for snipe.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Every day she would snivel and snipe:
    “Must you smoke that unspeakable tripe?”
    So he smoked the old bag,
    Got a new tin of shag,
    And contentedly puffed on his pipe.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    The sergeant was learning to snipe,
    But his spectacles needed a wipe.
    When he potted the colonel,
    He wrote in his journal
    “It looks like I may lose a stripe.”

  7. David Reddekopp says:

    I’m Lee Harvey Oswald. I snipe
    From this grassy knoll. Kennedy’s ripe
    For the picking. BANG! Dead.
    Got him right in the head!
    The police are approaching me. Yipe!

  8. Suzanne Heymann says:

    There’s a pond of a different stripe
    A reservoir named Billy Snipe
    It’s in Idaho State
    And a drought was its fate
    And it can’t use its own water pipe.

  9. Ian Graham says:

    It’s all very easy to snipe
    At rhymesters for writing trite tripe
    But poets, in sooth,
    Are the high priests of Truth
    Except when they’re scamming on Skype.

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    I really would rather not snipe
    At people who don’t buy my hype
    But they’re not too bright
    And I’m always right
    And they just don’t see- that’s my gripe!

  11. Tom Harris says:

    The candidates snivel and snipe,
    Filling the air with endless tripe.
    Oh, those jack asses
    Spew noxious gasses.
    And when they shut up, they must wipe.

  12. Don Lee says:

    Don’t complain, don’t moan and don’t gripe
    just show us your stuff for the stars and stripe
    we know you have, you will and you can
    and we’ll honor you one day as a veteran
    patroitism and loyalty shouldn’t be an illusive snipe

  13. Don Lee says:

    I’m so hungry I could eat a snipe
    and I don’t want to hear any gripe
    so what’s a fellow to do
    out the door I flew
    and returned with a plate of tripe

  14. Don Lee says:

    When all I hear is gripe
    I want to scream and shout yipe
    just put your paddle in the water
    and do what you know you oughter
    enough of this illusive hype.

  15. Don Lee says:

    Once there was an illusive snipe
    who tried with all his might
    to be more terse and laconic
    but was proud to be bucolic
    and didn’t agree with the brevity hype

  16. Tom Harris says:

    That fellow, Jim, will sit and gripe,
    Whine and complain, grumble and snipe
    For hours on end.
    He loves to offend,
    And always does with his endless tripe.

  17. Don Lee says:

    Then again there is this hype
    we all fit a stereotype
    but I don’t agree
    and I can’t, don’t you see
    I just am. And i’m not a bird-brain snipe.

  18. colonialist says:

    I couldn’t decide whether ‘snipe’
    ‘Attacking remarks’ was the type,
    Or, from hiding, a shot,
    Or a marsh bird we’ve got,
    So decided that down I would pipe.

  19. colonialist says:

    To all the hostesses who snipe
    That my recipes give them a gripe,
    Let them have the guts
    To accept latest cuts –
    With onions, I’m serving them tripe!

  20. David Reddekopp says:

    Mad, In my LHO verse, could you please drop the “and” in L1, and put a period after Oswald? I think it flows better that way.

    From Mad Kane: Yes it does. Done.

  21. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    You know, van goch, he gave it a swipe
    Cause a snipe sniped a turd in his pipe
    The snipe high on poppy
    Let go something sloppy
    Once smoked, impossible to wipe

  22. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A madam developed a gripe
    With a sniper refusing to snipe
    Got out her whip
    gave him the snip
    And smoked the odd tripe in her pipe

  23. ytcai says:

    It was pot shots and nothing but snipe
    When Mama was teaching me to wipe
    She said don’t make a sound
    When you’re reaching around
    That seemed to be her number one gripe

  24. ytcai says:

    This nympho was out hunting snipe
    One evening while chatting on Skype
    She went there to flock
    When told of woodcock
    But splinters had lessened the hype

  25. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    I swear I do not mean to snipe,
    But there’s rules for those times that we Skype.
    No one wants to see ass
    In the bathroom—it’s crass—
    And, for God’s sake, don’t stand there and wipe!

  26. Phil Graham says:

    Young campers are likely to gripe
    When told to go out and hunt snipe
    Those birds can’t be found
    In the dark on the ground
    To succeed, find a coop and then kype.

    snipe hunt = fool’s errand

  27. She said that she wasn’t THAT type
    He needed a lass who was ‘ripe’
    So the lad, it is said
    Tossed her out of his bed
    then took in the town’s gutter snipe

  28. All the pundits are starting to gripe
    About Ben, creating lots of hype
    His so-called friend
    In an attempt to defend
    Swapped his favorable words into a “snipe”

  29. Diane Groothuis says:

    A Scotty was dining on tripe
    But the flavour was terribly ripe.
    His wife tried a seasoning
    Of onions, her reasoning
    Was they offset “Carrotte and Par-snipe”

  30. Pat Campbell says:

    He loved her, but boy could she snipe
    She’d whine and whimper and gripe
    but a Circus in town
    gave him work as a clown
    and he left on a one-wheeler bike

  31. Pat Campbell says:

    The restaurant lived up to its hype
    and catered to millionaire types
    they served Squirrel Tartar
    but their special by far
    wasn’t chicken, but Beer Battered Snipe

  32. Pat Campbell says:

    ‘I’ll kill ye” he yelled ‘guttersnipe’!
    in his hand he wielded a knife
    so she gave him the knee
    now he speaks in high C
    and he can’t even ride on his bike

  33. Pat Campbell says:

    His mother was mean and she’d snipe
    as she drooled and she sucked on her pipe
    so he filled it with coke
    and she took a big smoke
    and vanished right out of sight

  34. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A driver with fuming exhaust pipe
    Went pet searching — looked for his lost snipe
    If fumes won’t secure him
    What’s sure to allure him-
    A female snipe’s urine-soaked tossed wipe.

  35. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A pedophile of the worst type
    Went to jail and the inmates would snipe:
    “So you think you can harm a
    Poor child?! Here comes karma!”
    He now can’t sit, nor can he wipe.

  36. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The bride to her bridegroom did snipe
    “Hey, your organ is such a small pipe!”
    “Didn’t know.” he replied
    “I’d be playing inside
    A cathedral, a sizable type.”

  37. Jon Gearhart says:

    Your mama’s the sexual type.
    She likes to go hunting for SNIPE.
    She thinks SNIPE is PENIS
    (SEX DAILY between us
    Is more than DYSLEXIA hype!)

  38. (Sorry, Suzanne — I’m inadvertently stealing two lines from you!)

    If a sniper’s main job is to snipe,
    Then it follows a diaper must diap.
    So allow me to take
    Out this poisonous snake…
    There’s my vindshield, you viper: now, vipe!

  39. Said the Scout, “I’ve no reason to gripe
    That I’ve not yet encountered a snipe.
    I’ve sat in this wood,
    All alone, for a good
    Twenty years… guess the time must be ripe!”

    (Former Boy Scouts will get this.)

  40. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Will – In that case, if you win, I want half the prize money… oh wait… there isn’t any… aaargh! …okay… my name in lights will do, then.

  41. Suzanne Heymann says:

    On the other hand…

    I’ve got a good reason to snipe
    At you Will, ’cause you’ve chosen to swipe
    My own words and ideas
    They belong to me as
    That makes you the type who will kype!

    (Thanks for the ‘kype’ word, Phil; I’ll make it up to you somehow)

  42. Fred Bortz says:

    In politics, taking a swipe
    Is best with some snark and a snipe.
    You’re not likely to win
    If your skin is too thin.
    It’s a sin to continu’lly gripe.

  43. At “Le Cockatoo” I ordered the snipe
    I complained that it wasn’t completely ripe
    I got a chill
    When I choked on its bill
    I think next time I’ll order the tripe

  44. Tim James says:

    I’m so jealous I can’t even snipe.
    His gal Friday, according to hype,
    With her hands, mouth, and *that*
    Laid the fellow out flat;
    With her toes she’d concurrently type.

  45. David Reddekopp says:

    Amazed at the size of my pipe
    My girlfriend would snicker and snipe
    “Now that you’ve revealed it
    I ask, can you wield it?
    Let’s hope it lives up to the hype.”

  46. Jim says:

    While out on a hunt for some snipe,
    a few freshmen started to gripe.
    Our noses we clenched,
    the had a foul stench.
    They’d petted “a cat with a stripe.”


  47. I like to listen to snipe
    as from the reedbeds they pipe
    but they’re so hard to see
    why don’t they perch in a tree?
    Though as a birder I don’t like to gripe

  48. Ailsa McKillop says:

    My brother at singers will snipe
    “That’s in the wrong key,” he will gripe
    He has absolute pitch
    Which means he can ditch
    (unlike others) a small tuning pipe.

  49. David Reddekopp says:

    The mafia paid him to snipe
    But the marksman could not match the hype
    Unlike the poor owl
    Plugged up in his bowel
    He’d shoot, but not hit, so they’d gripe.

    There’s a spoonerism joke in there, in L5.

  50. Dave Johnson says:

    In a campaign devoted to hype,
    His style is to needle and snipe.
    While himself he extols,
    His policy goals
    Drain like water would drip from a pipe.

  51. Raphael Harris says:

    There once was a farmer named Snipe,
    Who’s daughter enjoyed a good pipe,
    His farm-hand name Jed,
    Inhaled and said,
    “I’ve never seen melons so ripe”.

  52. I must fiercely and angrily gripe
    At your word this week, which is snipe
    To rhyme you must be slick;
    And have a sizable dick
    The notorious Brian seems just the type

  53. Dave Johnson says:

    He calls in to grumble and snipe;
    Haranguing a peeve or a gripe.
    Not missing a chance
    To air all his rants,
    He’d blog if he knew how to type.

  54. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    The critic continued to snipe:
    “This Acceglio is overly ripe
    With the fetor of dung,
    But the worst, to my tongue,
    Is your Trippa al Forno—it’s tripe!”

  55. Allen Wilcox says:

    I don’t want to object or to as gripe
    About having to use the word “snipe”,
    But try as I might
    I can not see the light.
    At the end all I have is a “Yipe!”.

  56. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 239.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Tend.