Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DUCK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using DUCK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

An underpaid man liked to duck
Out of work, buck his boss, run amok.
He’d go hunting for game–
Any bird you could name–
Though his favorite target was buck.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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73 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DUCK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Adam Stern says:

    Oh, come on! You’ve prescribed the word “duck”
    To conclude a line? Well, lots of luck
    In not tempting a flock
    Who endeavor to shock
    Just because they have used the word “fuck”.

  2. Adam Stern says:

    I was having the damnedest hard luck
    Finding Messiaen scores. Out I struck,
    As I wasn’t aware
    Éditions Salabert
    Didn’t publish him (it was Leduc).

  3. David Reddekopp says:

    The Donald’s an angry old schmuck
    Who rants on, not giving a fuck
    Some, with head up their rump
    Think the Donald’s a Trump
    But I differ; the Donald’s a duck.

  4. Adam Stern says:

    A white Pekin with plenty of pluck
    To the bartender strode,
    past the ruck.
    “Hey, there! What’ll you choose?”
    “I like nuts in my booze.”
    “Try a hickory daiquiri, duck!”

  5. brian allgar says:

    It was certainly Donald’s good luck
    That the rest of the candidates suck.
    When the voting was done,
    It was Donald who’d won.
    Let’s hear it for President Duck!

  6. David Reddekopp says:

    The dyslexic whore’s not having luck
    And her total is nary a buck
    For a sensible bill
    She will offer a thrill
    But no guy wants her sicking his duck.

  7. Ian Graham says:

    While penning a play about Puck,
    Chic Shakespeare got suddenly stuck.
    So the Immoral Bard,
    Once he’d thought long and hard,
    Said, “This rhyme’ll do. What the duck.”

  8. Susan Lichtblau says:

    I’m known as a woman of pluck
    As an athlete, however, I suck
    At the net or on court
    I’m a terrible sport
    As the ball flies, I cover and duck

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    In school we would “cover and duck”
    Even then I would feel like a schmuck.
    As if being calm
    Would protect from a bomb!
    We’d need a lot more than good luck.

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    A man was so lucky to duck
    When a large board fell off the dump truck
    His instincts, he heeded
    And did what was needed,
    Or surely he would have been struck.

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse, DONALD DUCK!
    As rivals, they were always stuck.
    Said Donald, “Aw, phooey!”
    “Seems everything’s screwy,
    For Mickey has had all the luck.”

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    A guy full of hormones and pluck
    From longing, alas could not duck.
    That gal down the street
    With body so sweet:
    He wanted to kiss her and fuck.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    A beautiful bird is the duck,
    It always goes, “quack”, never “cluck”
    Down the water it flowed
    Rather than cross the road.
    Don’t say, “Tastes like chicken”, you schmuck!

  14. Adam Stern says:

    There once was a chemist named Chuck
    Whose research grant was cut by a buck.
    He did not feel abused,
    But was merely amused:
    “H2O off the back of a duck.”

  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    This week’s word, of all things, is duck
    Participants thought, “Should I be a schmuck?”

    Mama taught me to be proper
    But this one is a whopper

    So I have to say, “I’m out of luck”

  16. Lisi Nortman says:


    But this ONE’S a whopper

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    Lorenz’ research with geese and with duck
    Worked well, it was more than just luck.
    Ducklings followed by law
    The first one they saw
    That was imprinted, i.e. stuck.

  18. David Reddekopp says:

    A duck and a rabbit? What luck!
    A dilemma – poor Elmer is stuck
    Some believe that Bugs Bunny
    Was fiendishly funny
    To say it’s the season for duck.

    But I reckon the rabbit’s a schmuck
    If you sell out your friend, then you suck
    Shots went by the duck’s head
    Should he drop and play dead?
    What I’d do is tell Daffy to duck.

  19. David Reddekopp says:

    Does Ernie pick bath time to buck?
    Unthinkable! Bert would say “Yuck!”
    Can it be Ernie hath
    Kept the fun in his bath?
    Yes it can, with a small rubber duck.

  20. David Reddekopp says:

    There once was a weary Canuck
    Who was dastardly decked by a Duck
    It was quite a sighting
    And led to much fighting
    Show’s over. Now let’s drop the puck.

  21. Colonialist says:

    When looking for rhyme-words with ‘duck’
    There’s one word that truly does suck,
    Buck, luck, puck, will not shock,
    Or cause earholes to block –
    But don’t frig around using … ‘muck’!

  22. Colonialist says:

    In politics, questions you duck,
    Or pass the proverbial buck;
    With ducking and diving
    You get to contriving
    Protection from coming unstuck!

  23. Judith H. Block says:

    Want a fun parade, get a duck;
    Get twelve marching, you are in luck!
    They will make you smile,
    Forget cares for a while.
    And maybe your smile will get stuck!

  24. Kirk Miller says:

    One day after shooting a duck,
    Its feathers Ray quickly did pluck.
    Ray Charles’ friends said, “My word!
    How’d you bring down that bird?”
    He replied, “It was simply blind luck.”

  25. Lisi Nortman says:


    This week’s word is suprisingly “duck”
    Participants thought, “Should I be a shmuck?”

    This one’s a whopper
    But I was brought up proper

    So I have to say, “I’m out of luck”

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    On my first date with Sheldon Gluck
    He asked if I would “do it” like a duck

    “Just jump in the pond
    Relax And respond

    Open your plumage and you won’t get stuck”

  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    Walt Disney created Donald Duck
    A character who gave him considerable luck

    He first appeared in The Wise Little Hen
    And played the role again and again

    But then he met Daisy and boy, did he cluck!

  28. Tim James says:

    On This Week’s Debates

    Who’s the Biggest Republican Schmuck?
    Is it Donald, Cruz, Jindal or Huck?
    For the title they’ll vie.
    When the crap starts to fly,
    Close your eyes, don a raincoat, and duck.

  29. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ve always waddled like a duck
    In the dating game, not much luck

    Then along came Art
    Who smelled like a fart

    And he picked me up in a garbage truck

  30. Lisi Nortman says:


    Walt Disney created Donal Duck
    A character who gave him considerable luck

    In “The Wise Little Hen”
    He was delightful, but then

    He met Daisy, and boy, did he cluck!

  31. madkane says:

    “Sex with a duck” is bound to come up when the Limerick-Off rhyme word is “duck.” But I certainly didn’t expect a Facebook limerick argument over duck sex and animal rights.

    Here was my light-hearted response to the dueling limerick writers:

    I think sex with a duck would be foolish,
    While sex with foie gras would be ghoulish.
    With your species, please stick.
    All else would be sick.
    I’m strict about that, even mulish.

  32. For Judith H Block

    Only if one grew up in the fifties would they understand your cover and duck limerick.
    It’s very very funny!

    Lisi Nortman

  33. ‘Cross the barnyard the miscreant snuck,
    And Farmer Buck’s buttocks he struck.
    With a furious QUACK!
    He began his attack…
    Lemme tell you, that’s one piquing duck!

    (If you disapprove of the use of “snuck”, feel free to take this verse OOC)

  34. @Adam — are we doing French composers this week? Yay!

    At a concert we gave in Kentuck’
    Came a shriek like a strangling duck:
    “I forbid you to play
    Any song that’s Sauguet!
    It offends me!” Kim Davis — what luck.

  35. 1927

    It’s the fault of the Mouse and the Duck
    That American copyrights suck.
    But the Senate and House
    Are in thrall to the Mouse,
    So ’til Disney goes bankrupt, we’re stuck.

  36. A rooster once went to a duck
    (Who was known as a quack whore) to fuck.
    “For a night,” said the dirty
    Old duck, “gimme thirty.”
    Said the cock, “But I just have a buck… buck… buck buck BUCK B’GAWK!”

  37. (OOC — sorry, David, just riffing on your theme!)

    “I’ll wash out your porch,” offered Chuck,
    “If you’ll bag up my poultry to pluck.”
    It’s a pretty good deal
    That we’ve come to, for he’ll
    Soak my deck while I’m sacking his duck.

  38. A. Kopitov says:

    Dear Mad Kane: I’m for sure not the first
    Who could never be forced or coerced
    Into seeking a thrill
    In a duck’s rump or bill;
    As for sex with pâté… Liver? Worst!

  39. David Reddekopp says:

    Well, if we’re really going to talk about sex with ducks…

    A pervert for poultry, he’d fuck
    With his dick in the back of a duck
    When we found out his fetish
    He turned rather reddish
    And couldn’t pull out – it was stuck.

    Don’t try this at home, btw.

  40. Judith H. Block says:

    If you get to watch, you’re in luck
    By the sweetness of this you’ll be struck;
    Mom, ducklings in tow,
    Waddling all in a row
    The result of drake’s sex with a duck.

  41. Bobby Campbell says:

    Mallard or Teal, or Drake if you wish
    Daffy is one thats not fit for my dish
    If he were Peking he would be Sumdumfuc
    In English he is merely one stupid duck.

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ve always waddled like a duck
    In the dating game, not much luck

    The few that I’ve met
    Don’t shower, they sweat

    I guess they fell off of the turnip truck

  43. Judith H. Block says:

    Ode to a Hero!

    Captain Sully managed to duck
    An errant flock of geese, Canuck!!!
    Emergency landed his plane
    Used his training and brain.
    It was skill, and not just good luck.


  44. Judith H. Block says:

    A canard was spread re a canard (French for DUCK)
    That she ruffled her feathers, ran amuck.
    She squawked and she quacked
    As if she were attacked.
    She was scared of the loud fire truck.

  45. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    A trucker ran over a duck.
    He ran over the duck with his truck.
    He was charged with assault,
    Though it wasn’t his fault:
    The poor duck had just run out of luck.

  46. Tim James says:

    Well, we’ve covered the subject of ducks and sex pretty thoroughly. Let’s move on to ducks and violence, shall we?

    Also: Word-of-the-Day Limerick

    Also: @ Judith

    When a bird like a goose or a duck
    Hits a plane (there’s a bad piece of luck),
    Its remains are called “snarge.”
    When the bird is quite large,
    There’s a much better word for it: yuck.

  47. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    A chicken once wedded a duck.
    They bore chucklings that knew how to cluck.
    And their eggs were so huge
    That a large centrifuge
    Was employed so they wouldn’t get stuck.

  48. Phil Graham says:

    Like oysters? First someone must shuck
    Before off the half-shell you can suck.
    To avoid a fiasco,
    Don’t add much Tabasco
    Or into the restroom you’ll duck.

  49. Phil Graham says:

    Tom Sawyer’s best friend was named Huck
    Each would try getting Polly to fuck
    She’d steadfastly refuse
    To give either some cooze
    Causing both lads to say, “Fuck a duck!”

  50. David Reddekopp says:

    Wearing Daisy Dukes, one Daisy Duck
    Is encouraging Donald to fuck
    Though he tries and he tries
    He cannot make it rise
    So poor Donald is fuck out of luck.

  51. David Reddekopp says:

    I have one more dirty, depraved dalliance with a duck, then I’ll desist.

    Not many thoughts make me say “Yuck!”
    Like the thought of fellating a duck
    You’re exceedingly sick
    If you suck a duck’s dick
    And especially so to then fuck.

  52. Phil Graham says:

    Need insurance for when you’ve no luck?
    Are you tired, as I am, of that duck?
    Yes, the fowl from Aflac
    Makes us all want to whack
    It. (That gecko too — both of them suck.)

  53. Bob Dvorak says:

    It’s that time of the year for the duck,
    If he wants, to go South. Try his luck
    At a warmerish clime.
    But he’ll be back in time —
    A great mate gives a real phlying ph**k.

  54. David Reddekopp says:

    Said the patient, “Your treatments, they suck
    And my symptoms have all run amok
    Furthermore, you’re a quack!”
    And the doc replied back
    “I should hope so. You see, I’m a duck.”

  55. Phil Graham says:

    Took a date to Le Cirque (hoped to fuck)
    Waiter asked, “Would you care for the duck?”
    I replied with a jest
    Saying, “Only if pressed”
    Which increased my post prandial luck.

  56. Pat Benedict Campbell says:

    Granny Wilson was covered in muck
    Her mountain bike caught in a rut
    she finished the track
    with her bike on her back
    And they gave her a prize for pure pluck

  57. Pat Benedict Campbell says:

    Hi Madeleine
    Not sure I understand what ‘your comment is awaiting moderation’ means? Do I need to do something from this end?
    Pat Benedict Campbell

    (From Mad Kane: It just means that your comment was waiting for approval from me. It’s been approved now and is visible to all. )

  58. Jon Gearhart says:

    I stuck out my neck for this duck
    Teal he got in the choir. Just my luck–
    He quacks loud and strong,
    But his mallardy’s wrong.
    I canardly defend the dumb schmuck!

  59. Phil Graham says:

    @Jon Gearhart

    Very amusic puns there! A l’orange for you to get a book deal. Waddle you pay me as my commission?

  60. Phil Graham says:

    If you’re poor as that old Friar Tuck
    But you’re planning a dinner of duck
    There’s a place to buy wine
    That is cheap but tastes fine —
    Trader Joe’s, where they sell Two Buck Chuck.

  61. Cynthia Kennedy says:

    Today I was going to pluck,
    All the feathers from my little, fat, duck.
    But, before I could cook it,
    Some greedy soul took it,
    So, I hope he doesn,t have any good luck.

  62. Cynthia Kennedy says:

    One day I was driving my truck.
    Up a steep hill, and then it got stuck.
    Then, a man dressed in leather,
    Said, “Let’s stick together,
    I’ll help you if you buy this duck.”

  63. Fred Bortz says:

    The best I can do…

    Cartoon fans love Donald the Duck,
    And Donald O’Connor had pluck.
    Then there’s Rumsfeld and Trump,
    Whom together we lump
    As the GOP’s Donald the Schmuck.

  64. Judith H. Block says:

    Go hunting with Cheney, you schmuck?
    Harry Whittington ran out of luck
    Cheney’s got lousy aim,
    Shot his friend, what a shame!
    He thought he was quail or a duck.

  65. John Armstrong says:

    At Samhain for apples they duck
    All bobbing and splashing amok
    Rears in the air
    Courting affair
    For winsome young lassie and buck

  66. Fred Bortz says:

    A foul-smelling vulture said, “Cluck.”
    Translation: “I’m down on my luck.
    Can you show me a bird bath?
    I’m now on my third path
    And my talons still stink from dead duck.”

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    I met a delightful duck
    He could talk, and his name was Buck

    He warned me not to vote
    For the man who’s a self-centered gloat

    And I assured him I won’t run amok

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    It must be pleasing to be a duck
    You glide and sometimes you cluck

    They really go quack
    Water runs off their back

    But with this rhyme I really do suck

  69. OK, since we’re “going there” this week, here’s a limerick that not only combines bestiality with an atrocious pun, but also manages to sully the memory of Mark Twain. If anybody’s NOT offended, I apologize for leaving you out:

    Cried Miss Watson, “I sent you to pluck
    Pillow-feathers from off o’ this duck —
    Now I find you here screwin’ it…
    Huck, why are you doin’ it?”
    “Why, I’m *gettin’ down*!” chuckled Huck.

  70. Allen Wilcox says:

    Consider a most hapless duck.
    Its signature sound was a cluck.
    But its version would sicken
    Any upstanding chicken.
    The barnyard assessment was “Schmuck”.

  71. A hunter was running a muck
    Chased by a large angry buck
    He’d been on the run
    Since he lost his gun
    As he ran he squawked like a duck

  72. Phil Graham says:

    “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” features Puck
    If he’s coming your way, better duck
    This fairy brought mania
    Upon Queen Titania
    And offered love flowers for luck.

  73. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 231.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Land.