Archive for the ‘Limerick Contest’ Category
Saturday, September 12th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using DUCK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
An underpaid man liked to duck
Out of work, buck his boss, run amok.
He’d go hunting for game–
Any bird you could name–
Though his favorite target was buck.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Competition Limerick, Game Hunting, Hunting Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 73 Comments »
Saturday, September 12th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
For golfers who’ve struggled in vain
I’ve decided to finally explain
My special golf diet.
I know once they try it
That par snips on greens they’ll retain.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Kathy El-Assal, Les a/k/a Colonialist, Bob Dvorak, Tim James, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kirk Miller:
There once was a woman named Jane,
Who from heroin couldn’t refrain.
She attempted to quit,
But then had to admit
That her efforts were, sadly, in vein.
Kathy El-Assal:
’Twas apparent she wasn’t Mark Twain.
Her attempts to get laughs were in vain.
So she wrote a French thriller
With taxi cab killer
Who drives all his victims in Seine.
Les a/k/a Colonialist:
In vain he consulted the vane
In seeking a windfall to gain;
But how winds will blow,
One never can know,
So, done in that vein, it’s a pain.
Bob Dvorak:
I’ve struggled at length, but in vain:
Is the Donald an ass, or insane?
But what media sells
Ain’t his open-mouthed yells,
But the size of his overdone mane.
Tim James:
Henry Higgins enunciates “rain”
Then he goes on and on in that vein.
His repeated refrain
On the weather in Spain
In the main gives me pain. Is that plain?
Will T. Laughlin:
We get high in a church, me ‘n’ Jane,
And they catch us. We try to explain:
“We’re just trippin’ on Jesus!”
They still come and seize us,
For “taking the Lord’s name in vein.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Colonialist, Jon Gearhart, Kathy El-Assal, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, September 5th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either VAIN or VEIN or VANE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A nurse who would often complain
About doctors was ordered to rein
In her practice, or face
Being sacked in disgrace.
She got bloodied in court — sued in vain.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Doctors Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Nurse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 99 Comments »
Saturday, September 5th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to DAVID REDDEKOPP, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
To me, it won’t cease to amaze
How a priest’s not policed for his ways.
When he buggers boys’ butts?
Reassignment. That’s nuts!
And the priest, he still preaches, and preys.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Will T. Laughlin, Kirk Miller, Brian Allgar, Tim James, Adam Stern, Scott Crowder, and Ian Graham. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Will T. Laughlin:
May McCray has created a craze.
But although May’s maize maze may amaze,
Rose’s rose rows once rose
Where the maize maze now grows,
And they’ll raze the maze one of these days.
Kirk Miller:
He embarked on a dieting craze.
The results never ceased to amaze.
When he stepped on the scale,
Loss of weight he would hail.
It was clear he was changing his weighs.
Brian Allgar:
Mozart’s output was one to amaze;
Though still young at the end of his days,
And approaching defeat
In making ends meet,
He left more than 600K’s.*
*Mozart’s works were catalogued by Ludwig Ritter von Köchel, and go up to K626 (the Requiem.)
Tim James:
The cannibals roasted some maize
And prepared a nice sauce Hollandaise.
Then a rival tribe’s chief
Got thrown in as the beef.
It’s a worthy opponent they braise.
Adam Stern:
Carmen’s passion aroused Don José’s;
Maddalena, Andrea Chénier’s.
But Aida! She slipped
Herself into the crypt
Where she died with her beau, Radamès.
Brian Allgar:
To survive the political maze,
There are rules for these decadent days:
Just keep cheating and lying,
Vote-selling and buying –
In politics, crime always pays.
Scott Crowder:
Whenever I’m caught in a maze
Of beauties, I know where to gaze.
It’s right at my wife;
I value my life
And I’d like to see my golden days.
Ian Graham:
The maize farmer’s hoping for lays
’Mongst the chicks who get lost in his maze,
But a mad Martian jerk’ll
Append a crop circle
And have his strange way with the strays.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Adam Stern, Brian Allgar, David Reddekopp, Ian Graham, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (229)
Saturday, August 29th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either MAZE or MAIZE or AMAZE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A lady felt trapped in a maze
Cuz her job was confusing, and praise
From her boss rarely came.
(He was lib’ral with blame.)
Her malady? Workplace malaise.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 106 Comments »
Saturday, August 29th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Poor Dorothy, youthful and rash,
Took a lover with plenty of cash.
But re-Morse she soon showed
For this breach of her Code;
“I’m sorry,” cried Dot, “I must Dash!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Fred Bortz, Adam Stern, Brian Allgar, Carolyn Henly, Allen Wilcox, and Phil Graham. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
The Mexicans, hoping to dash
All our hopes, caused this stock market crash!
Their designs we must fear!
It’s been ever so clear
Since I got into Donald Trump’s stash.
Fred Bortz:
In Asgard, when Norse heroes clash,
They settle their feud with a brash
Track and field competition.
Their personal mission
Is to win the well-known Baldur Dash.
Adam Stern:
I placed first in the hundred-yard dash.
(Left the slow-pokes behind with panache.)
But my joy evanesced
When I found out the best
Received praise, but not one cent of cash.
Brian Allgar:
She was sprawled with her feet on the dash,
And the couple were starting to thrash.
They’d forgotten the brake,
Ended up in the lake –
In the papers, they made quite a splash.
Carolyn Henly:
Exclamation points have some panache,
While the question mark’s not very brash.
The ellipsis had dropped,
While the period stopped,
And the hyphen said “I’ve got to dash.”
Allen Wilcox:
The five-liner form is not rash.
The meter and rhyming don’t clash.
It has rules we adore,
But I might note one more –
A lim’rick can’t end with a –.
Phil Graham:
By the goal posts she waved from her Nash.
I thought, “Great! Gonna get me some gash!”
I arrived, loins on fire
But ’twas just a flat tire.
What a waste of a hundred yard dash.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Adam Stern, Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Carolyn Henly, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phil Graham, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (228)
Saturday, August 22nd, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using “DASH” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Be forewarned that it’s reckless and rash
To run around flaunting your cash.
And if miscreants spot
All the money you’ve got,
I sure hope that you’ve mastered the dash.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Criminals, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 104 Comments »
Saturday, August 22nd, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to CAROLYN HENLY, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Little Johnny, a not-too-bright tot,
Got some burns ’cuz the soup was so hot.
Said his father, Big Brent,
“Son, that’s not what I meant
When I sent you to sit on the pot!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Ian Graham, David Reddekopp, Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz, and Kirk Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Ian Graham:
“Hey kettle, you’re black,” said the pot.
“So are you,” said the kettle. “Why not?
“I’m willing to bet
“We’re part of a set
“With that sizzling black saucepan. She’s hot.”
David Reddekopp:
It’s a dubious drug I have bought.
Since I tried it, I wish I had not.
What would anyone need
With some laxative weed?
Now I can’t get myself off the pot.
Brian Allgar:
She had spent the weekend on his yacht;
Said the hooker, “Good-looking he’s not.
Though he’s no Botticelli,
I don’t mind a belly
As long as there’s cash in the pot.”
Fred Bortz:
I got caught wildly stirring the pot
Quite a lot. Yes the ranting got hot.
No one bought what I thought.
Though I fought every plot:
“That’s just rot!” “You’re a sot!” “No I’m not!”
Kirk Miller:
“So my plants in the yard won’t get caught
In the cold, dig them up,” my wife thought.
When she brought them inside,
Every one of them died.
You could say that her plants went to pot.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Carolyn Henly, David Reddekopp, Fred Bortz, Ian Graham, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (227)
Saturday, August 15th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using POT at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A man who liked stirring the pot
Made trouble more often than not.
He needed no kitchen
To heat up some bitchin’
And could cook it up right on the spot.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Argument Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 74 Comments »
Saturday, August 15th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Down in Sydney, a chef thought he knew
How to add to some soup, kangaroo.
But it spoiled the soup;
’Twas too thick; to recoup
He renamed it mar-soup-ial stew.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Ian Graham, Tim James, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
When the weather outside turns one blue
And it’s barren where veggies once grew,
There’s nothing so neat
As to turn up the heat
And serve chili instead of bland stew.
Brian Allgar:
He was painting the whole of Peru
In the purest cerulean blue,
But the paint got confused
With his lunch-pail (he’d boozed),
So now Lima’s the color of stew.
Dave Johnson:
All the others continued to stew
When The Donald was finally through.
He had left Megyn fuming
And now he’s assuming
He’ll fire the rest of them too.
Ian Graham:
“His heart,” in her old mother’s view,
“Will be melted by serving him stew.”
A ragout made of mutton
Seemed right on the button
When he dreamily sighed “I love ewe.”
Tim James:
The gourmet served his signature stew
Made from wombat and spiced kangaroo.
Not to seem impolite,
I consumed ev’ry bite.
Now excuse me. I must find the loo.
Suzanne Heymann:
I once had some gnarly beef stew.
The stuff was just too hard to chew–
So tasteless and dry.
I soon found out why;
It was made from my grandfather’s shoe!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Ian Graham, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, August 8th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using STEW at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A woman who tended to stew,
Made ado over nonsense she knew
Was trivial stuff,
Till her spouse said “Enough!
“Or I’ll sue to undo my ‘I do.'”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 57 Comments »
Saturday, August 8th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to PEDRO POITEVIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Having nervously downed our Bordeaux,
We faced off: “You go first.” “No, you go.”
But she said: “Don’t be dunces,
Two fellows at once is
So much better than two in a row.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Judith H. Block, Andy Bassett, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Adam Stern, Tim James, Dave Johnson, Kirk Miller, Allen Wilcox, and David Reddekopp. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Judith H. Block:
The bowling pins lined in a row,
I beam with a warm, hopeful glow.
Then I curse and I mutter–
Balls land in the gutter.
But at least they have spared my big toe!
Andy Bassett:
Maid Marian was out for a row
With her man (Robin Hood, don’t you know)
When the Sheriff of Nottingham
Started potshotting ’em.
She was saved by her arrow and beau.
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
I like to eat fresh salmon roe
From the currents that here about flow,
But to all males astride
Of the stream, side to side,
Please don’t yield to the urge to let go.
Adam Stern:
Arnold Schoenberg endeavored to show
(With recruits Berg and Webern in tow)
That one COULD bid adieu
To C major, in lieu
Of a systematized twelve-tone row.
His creations were critically flayed
And left listeners vexed and dismayed,
Prompting Schoenberg to vow,
“If my rows cause a row,
“It’s not THEIR fault – they’re shoddily played!”
Tim James:
Cute Joanna, a Sigma Pi Rho,
Gave a frat boy the ol’ to-and-fro.
But she drank too much beer,
Left behind her brassiere.
So the guy woke to two cups of Jo.
Dave Johnson:
A muscular fellow named Roe
Had a body he wanted to show.
At a nudist resort,
He’s proud to report
His willy left Millie aglow.
Kirk Miller:
At the river, I think you should know
There are preschoolers lurking below.
They are probably not
What you think, if you thought
They are children, because they are roe.
Allen Wilcox:
A lesson, for any new pro,
You should follow wherever you go —
To not hear the words,
“Your plan’s for the birds,”
Your should get all your ducks in a row.
David Reddekopp:
Some enjoy Henry David Thoreau
Or Dickinson, Whitman, or Poe.
I’m also a poet
Though they’ll never know it.
Did THEY compose limericks? No!
Take your sorry-ass stanzas and go,
If you can’t post five lines in a row
That follow this scheme
Whatever the theme,
But these bards set the bar way too low.
Hey Thoreau, don’t you think that you owe
Us a limerick? It’s apropos,
And they could’ve been spawned
At your famed Walden Pond
While you struggled through seaweed and roe.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Adam Stern, Allen Wilcox, Andy Bassett, Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Judith H. Block, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Pedro Poitevin, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, August 1st, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
My husband went out for a row–
Not a fight but a boat ride, although
I suppose while he works
Those oars, jet ski jerks
Could cause him to go toe to … tow.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Boating Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | 68 Comments »
Saturday, August 1st, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
I was dating three sisters named Boone;
Young April was cold: “It’s too soon,”
And May, though quite hot,
Told me “No, you may not,”
But the good times were coming in June.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Pedro Poitevin, David Reddekopp, Daisy Mae Simon, Phil Graham, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly:
In a penthouse suite down in Cancun,
Lives a slovenly mobster each June.
All you tourists should know
That the world down below
Is his 24/7 spittoon.
Tim James:
A scribe and his editor, June,
Did the nasty, one fine afternoon.
She had gotten quite pissed
With the deadlines he’d missed;
But this ONE time, he finished too soon.
Will T. Laughlin:
Go ahead, Tin Pan Alley, and croon
A tune in which “moon” rhymes with “June”.
Sing of stealing a kiss
From a lissome young miss –
Just don’t sing it to me. I’m immune.
Pedro Poitevin:
I’m shagging a young picaroon
Who loves to show off his harpoon.
He’s too quick with the trigger
And lacking in vigor,
But he arrrs when I whisper “jejune.”
David Reddekopp:
The timing is quite opportune
For an off-color rhyme that’s jejune.
A short penis joke will
Always get a cheap thrill,
But the verse, like my dick, ends too soon.
Daisy Mae Simon:
When he’d walk in from work, he’d call, “June!”
Dressed in pearls and her apron, they’d ‘spoon.’
When her batter he’d lick
She’d get lightheaded quick,
But when Ward asked for Beaver, she’d swoon.
Phil Graham:
A menage à trois started at noon.
The lone man got surprised fairly soon;
With all three going strong,
He thought something was wrong
When May didn’t come before June.
Fred Bortz:
She delivered her baby in June,
Six months past the wedding — too soon —
The result of some merriment —
Condom experiment —
’Twas only a trial balloon.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Byron Miller, Daisy Mae Simon, David Reddekopp, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Pedro Poitevin, Phil Graham, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (224)
Saturday, July 25th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “JUNE” or “JEJUNE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Pooh-poohing the food as “jejune,”
She hurled her saloon menu, strewn
With fare labeled “fried.”
“What, no salad?” she cried.
So they tossed her — a palpable boon.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 77 Comments »
Saturday, July 25th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Said Irene to Eileen, “Am I late?”
Said Eileen to Irene, “I’m irate!
I lean in the lane
All alone in the rain –
Oh what wicked wet weather to wait!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Tim James, Kirk Miller, Dave Johnson, Pedro Poitevin, Will T. Laughlin, and Phil Graham. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
They had lent at so monstrous a rate
That it couldn’t be paid by the date,
For the interest fee
Was twice GNP,
So the bankers now own the Greek state.
Tim James:
A guy found a lady first-rate,
So he asked if she’d go on a date.
But she snapped, “You chew gum,
And it makes you look dumb!”
So he’ll stay home and just mast…icate.
Kirk Miller:
Though the woman heard goose was first rate
At the bistro, supposedly great,
The cook carelessly plucked
The main course; it was mucked.
She felt down in the mouth when she ate.
Dave Johnson:
A mistress grew very irate;
Her lover was chronically late.
One night, he would find
Her gift left behind:
A patient, inflatable mate.
Pedro Poitevin:
Behold my inflatable mate:
Her buttocks are truly first-rate!
I think that I must
Release all my lust
Before I begin to deflate.
Will T. Laughlin:
Donald Trump, at the Heavenly Gate
(Where Saint Peter had asked why he’d rate
An entrance therein),
Said, “If Pride is a sin,
Then it’s God’s fault he made me so great!”
Phil Graham:
I’m hoping to finally sate
My sex drive before it’s too late.
All the dollars I’ve paid
To those whores to get laid
Have my wife acting very irate.
When we last bared our bodies to mate,
Can’t remember just how it did rate.
But my wife blew her chance
For steamy romance.
If she’d blown something else, I’d be great!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Pedro Poitevin, Phil Graham, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Sunday, July 19th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “RATE” or “IRATE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A fellow was growing irate
On a date with a gal who’d debate
Over politics, food–
What she hates or finds crude.
They agreed on just this: date not great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Date Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 95 Comments »
Sunday, July 19th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
“The whole gold-digging life’s a hard sell,
But for me it works out pretty well.
Some don’t like ‘old guy love,’
But when push comes to shove
And I bid them farewell, I fair well!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Stephen Fleming, Brian Allgar, Allen Wilcox, Johanna Richmond, and Pedro Poitevin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Dave Johnson:
A phone with a really hard shell
When dropped, may not do very well.
Perhaps they could place
It inside a foam case;
The market could use a soft cell.
Fred Bortz:
By the seashore, her shells surely sell,
And her business is doing so well
That her Yiddische Mama
Declares with much drama
“Oy, Shirley, you’re making me kvell!”
Stephen B. Fleming:
The Donald believes he can sell
Himself as the Chief — “Do Pray Tell.”
But his immigrant smear
Caused a corp’rate Bronx cheer.
So to much of his fortune, “Farewell.”
Brian Allgar:
Dubya reckoned the deal would be swell,
Even though it meant going to hell,
But the Devil just laughed;
“Buy your soul? Don’t be daft–
You don’t even have one to sell.”
Allen Wilcox:
As he passed through the hot gates of Hell,
The sounds within started to swell.
The pain in his ears
Nearly drove him to tears
From the ringing that came from each cell.
Johanna Richmond:
How I MISS life before Mr. Cell
And his wife, Mrs. Cell, came to dwell
In our home — when our link
Involved warm flesh and kink
And our texting thumbs boldly wore gel.
Pedro Poitevin:
Through a tunnel he dug in his cell,
El Chapo descended to hell
And offered the devil
A lower mid-level
Position within his cartel.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Johanna Richmond, Jon Gearhart, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Pedro Poitevin, Stephen Fleming, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, July 11th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “SELL” or “CELL” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
On hearing a rather hard sell,
The shopper said, “Yes it drives well.
But my husband’s emphatic:
Divorce? Automatic…
If I purchase a car in pastel.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Car & Driving Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Shopping Humor | 106 Comments »
Saturday, July 11th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to FRED BORTZ, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Fred Bortz:
The authorities turned up the heat
On the ladies who walk on the street:
“You must lower your rates
For your bus’nessman dates.
How else can our city compete?”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Sue Dulley, Dave Johnson, Diane Groothuis, and Phil Graham. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
They were frolicking in the back seat
Like a bitch and a mongrel in heat,
When a sudden bright light
Gave the couple a fright.
“My turn next,” said the cop on the beat.”
Sue Dulley:
I’m a glutton for glutinous wheat;
As a treat, toast and jam’s hard to beat,
And I flee when I see
Food that’s tagged “gluten-free.”
(There, I said it. Please don’t give me heat!)
Dave Johnson:
They went to a swingers’ retreat
And saw lots of couples in heat.
There was a big dance
Where no one wore pants;
The members all swung to the beat.
Diane Groothuis:
When sales-people turn up the heat,
I do what I can to retreat.
They’re trying their luck
To make a quick buck.
As for me, I just vote with my feet.
Phil Graham:
A woman turned white as a sheet
When her cop friend was not too discreet.
She said, “Show me your Glock.”
What he heard, though, was “cock.”
So he proved he was packing some heat.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Diane Groothuis, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phil Graham, Sue Dulley, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
