Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: JUNE or JEJUNE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “JUNE” or “JEJUNE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Pooh-poohing the food as “jejune,”
She hurled her saloon menu, strewn
With fare labeled “fried.”
“What, no salad?” she cried.
So they tossed her — a palpable boon.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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77 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: JUNE or JEJUNE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Phil Graham says:

    A menage à trois started at noon
    The lone man got surprised fairly soon
    With all three going strong
    He thought something was wrong
    When May didn’t come before June.

  2. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    When he’d walk in from work, he’d call June
    Dressed in pearls and her apron, they’d’ spoon’
    When her batter he’d lick
    She’d get lightheaded quick
    But when Ward asked for Beaver, she’d swoon.

  3. David Reddekopp says:

    I love a girl, May, makes me swoon
    My friends think I must be a loon
    They say even her name
    Is boring and lame
    I deny that my May is jejune.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    I was dating three sisters named Boone;
    Young April was cold: “It’s too soon”,
    And May, though quite hot,
    Told me “No, you may not”.
    My fulfillment was coming in June.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker was young and jejune,
    And the size of his dick made her swoon.
    “I can blow a guy’s flute
    Till he’s ready to shoot,
    But I didn’t expect a bassoon.”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    His political views are jejune,
    And his hair makes him look a buffoon.
    If the Donald’s elected,
    Disaster’s expected –
    They might as well choose a baboon.

  7. David Reddekopp says:

    I would hump in a hot-air balloon
    She agreed, but she said “It’s too soon
    We should put it on hold
    It remains much too cold”
    That’s when April said “Maybe in June.”

  8. David Reddekopp says:

    The timing is quite opportune
    For an off-color rhyme that’s jejune
    A short penis joke will
    Always get a cheap thrill
    But the verse, like my dick, ends too soon.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    The restaurant meal was jejune
    And was coloured a brownish maroon.
    But the chef said “Don’t panic,
    It’s fully organic –
    Raw tofu with unpitted prune.”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    The werewolf would howl at the moon
    When it shone at its brightest in June,
    Then he’d sharpen his fangs
    And assuage hunger pangs;
    “Snack attack” was his favorite tune.

    — alternative last line:

    “You’re my meat” was his favorite tune.

    (Note:
    “Snack Attack” is a song by Godley & Crème
    “You’re My Meat” is a song by Joe Jackson)

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    How lovely the sweet month of June
    With flowers to make your heart swoon
    But bloomed way ahead
    Most roses are dead
    They just reached their apex too soon.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    There once was a hooker named June
    Who also played a mean bassoon.
    And when she blowed
    Guy and music flowed
    To both she was always in tune.

  13. Diane Groothuis says:

    On a fine Sunday morning in June
    I met with a silly buffoon
    Who simply by chance
    Got to drop down his pants
    As he showed me a very full moon.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    Madeleine, I’ve changed the last line of my first piece above:

    I was dating three sisters named Boone;
    Young April was cold: “It’s too soon”,
    And May, though quite hot,
    Told me “No, you may not”,
    But the good times were coming in June.

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    Here’s a word that would seem opportune:
    The Persian for ‘hottie’ is ‘joon’.
    Now that Persia’s Iran
    With a nuclear plan,
    They will have their own ‘hottie’ quite soon.

  16. cphenly says:

    When it got to the first week in June,
    Irving wished to propose to Miss June
    With his nerves in a clamor,
    He started to stammer:
    The best he could do was J-June.

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    I had lunched at a cheap ‘greasy spoon’,
    And the fodder was frankly jejune.
    Rancid oil, rotten eggs,
    Burgers crawling on legs …
    I threw up for the whole afternoon.

  18. Colonialist says:

    A girl once remarked, ‘That’s jejune!’
    On hearing a popular tune;
    When asked angrily why,
    Reply: ‘F-for such sky,
    M-must have been; May is too soon!’

  19. Diane Groothuis says:

    Claude Debussy composed a nice tune
    Which means to us “Light of the Moon”
    I played it when young
    On piano (not sung)
    And to me “Clair de lune”‘s not jejune

  20. Tim James says:

    A scribe and his editor, June,
    Did the nasty one fine afternoon.
    She had gotten quite pissed
    With the deadlines he’d missed;
    But this ONE time, he finished too soon.

  21. Fred Bortz says:

    She delivered her baby in June,
    Six months past the wedding–too soon–
    The result of some merriment
    And condom experiment.
    ‘Twas only a trial balloon.

  22. Phil Graham says:

    Fleming Flailings
    A South Belgian man, a Walloon,
    Gets bar-stomped so much, he’s a poltroon
    When invited outside
    Last December, he cried,
    “May I wait until 31 June?”

  23. Kristin Smith says:

    From Phyllis Sterling Smith:

    I’ll just have to use the rhyme “June”.
    With “jejune” I am sort of a loon.
    It’s a word that I never,
    No not ever, EVER,
    Have used in a verse or a tune.

  24. Kristin Smith says:

    Phyllis Sterling Smith sends this:

    We jump in the water in June.
    It’s summer, not really too soon,
    But the water’s so cool
    (At least in this pool)
    That I wish I had waited ’til noon.

  25. I’m shagging a young picaroon
    who loves to show off his harpoon.
    He’s too quick with the trigger
    and is lacking in vigor,
    but he arrrs when I whisper “jejune.”

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    My buddy fixed me up with June
    He said I’ll totally swoon

    She was bustin’ out all over
    Like the white cliffs of Dover

    This chick sent me to the moon

  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    The old songs always included “moon”
    Because it logically rhymed with “swoon”

    Folks did the cha cha
    To Frank Sinatra

    And their naivete was indeed “je june”

  28. Dave Johnson says:

    At a wedding reception last June,
    The best man tried singing a tune.
    The song was a bust,
    But the bride really cussed
    When he finished it up with a moon.

  29. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh, how Sinatra would croon
    To ensure the girls would swoon

    But one got carried away
    And fainted the opposite way

    No wonder her name was Je June

  30. Lisi Nortman says:

    My date’s name was Bethune
    The lady made me crackle and swoon

    But her vision wasn’t clear
    So she shed a sorrowful tear

    When we kissed at the silvery moon

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION!

    My lovely date’s name was JUNE
    The lady made me crackle and swoon

    But her vision wasn’t clear
    So she shed a sorrowful tear

    When we kissed BY the silvery moon

  32. Dave Johnson says:

    A lounge singer – Benny LaJune
    Would tipple and then start to croon.
    He’d warble along
    ‘Till his show-ending song:
    “By the Light of the Slivery Moon”.

  33. Dave Johnson says:

    He’s only been in it since June;
    For a lackluster group – what a boon.
    With bravado and cash,
    He’s made such a big splash;
    Bobby Jindal – for whom they all swoon.

  34. Phil Graham says:

    (8 vs. 13 weeks)
    Air Force boot camp gets over so soon
    That marines think all airmen would swoon
    And would greatly embarrass
    If on island “Parris”
    So Lackland they call “Camp Jejune.”

  35. Johanna Richmond says:

    There’s nothing I find more jejune
    Than that puerile horny cartoon
    That gets stuck on “rewind”
    In the av’rage male mind:
    Is it coming to your theater soon?

    How to know if your noodle’s afflicted:
    Are you both porn and cliché addicted?
    Do you make your flag soar
    With a fantasy “whore”
    Whose IQ — but of course –is restricted?

    Rise UP above fear, boys, engage
    With a woman who’s not in a cage
    If your willy feels silly
    Like boinking aunt Millie
    Count hoes till you get through this stage.

    What are Ju-de-o-Christian inspired
    Aids for men adolescently wired?
    Thats right: whores – cuz your mum
    Don’t know jack about cum…
    Shhh… all white men were magic’lly sired.

  36. Brian Allgar says:

    Johanna Richmond –

    You may think that I’m rather jejune,
    But my yard finds the hoes quite a boon.
    When I turn on the hoes,
    Here she comes! There she blows!
    And the torrent is like a monsoon.

    With my hoes on the beds, how it flows!
    Now I’m spraying my favorite, Rose.
    “That’s obscene!” What d’you mean?
    Oh, hang on, I’ve just seen
    A few typos – I meant to write “hose”.

  37. Brian Allgar says:

    (P.S. For anyone who didn’t know, “yard” in Shakespeare’s time was also a euphemism for … yeah, you got it.)

  38. Janie Gouge says:

    Kisses so sweet under golden moon
    Night sounds behind us that softly croon
    From the moment we met
    My heart can’t forget
    Shimmering moments of an evening in June

  39. Diane Groothuis says:

    In a caravan down by the dune
    With atmosphere very jejune,
    She said “You’re in danger,
    There is a dark stranger
    Whose actions will lead to your rune”.

  40. Fred Bortz says:

    A limerick about you-know-who

    He’s a loon, a baboon, a buffoon.
    Yet his voters are over the moon.
    He’s an ass, second class,
    Outrageous and crass.
    Will he be in the running next June?

  41. Phil Graham says:

    Horny John fantasized about June
    Couldn’t wait to get in her sweet poon
    He finally got some
    But like so much flotsam
    He found it to be just jejune.
    (A Cash discount?)

  42. Kirk Miller says:

    The two honeybees wed in mid-June.
    The reception was inopportune
    For the groom to drop pants.
    It conveyed much romance,
    And began what was called “honeymoon.”

  43. Kirk Miller says:

    Played charades with my friend Witherspoon.
    What he did people said was jejune:
    Turned around, dropped his pants.
    I could tell at a glance
    That the song was Shine On, Harvest Moon.

  44. Phil Graham says:

    Only one? Boon, coon, dune, goon, hewn, June
    Or try loon, moon, noon, prune, rune, spoon, tune
    Then cocoon and typhoon
    Afternoon, picayune
    Need four syllables? Contrabassoon.

  45. Lisi Nortman says:

    I asked my sweetie, Bethune
    The meaning of the word jejune

    “It’s as easy as pie:
    It’s the month before jeJuly”

    That gal always makes me swoon

  46. Lisi Nortman says:

    My dearest friend Bethune
    Goes to Florida every June

    At the airport I spot her
    She’s the one with the white fur

    And positively looks like a prune

  47. Lisi Nortman says:

    In Los anglels we kissed by the moon
    That gal made me crackle and swoon

    I begged for “all the way”
    She said, ” You mean Bombay?”

    Her name was June Jejune

  48. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    A beauty caused me to swoon
    And envision a carnal commune.
    But when we did speak
    She lost her mystique.
    Dear April may be jejune.

  49. Lisi Nortman says:

    We married in the month of June
    Under the dazzling luminescent moon

    When I said “I do”
    My water broke through

    The roses we arranged at noon

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    At my lounge last month in June
    I hired so-called “Mr Croon”

    When he stared singing
    Everyone’s ears started ringing

    He sounded like a cacophonous buffoon

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    Everyone loves the month of June
    They love the sun in the afternoon

    But when you’re sneezing
    And always wheezing

    You’re forever singing to a different tune

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION

    We married in the month of June
    Under the dazzling luminescent moon

    When I said, “I do”
    My water broke right through

    The lovely roses we arranged at noon

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: I apologize for one syllable that does not belong:

    “You’re forever singing a different tune.”

    I took out the word: TO

  54. Lisi Nortman says:

    At “March, April, and June”
    An ad agency in Cancun

    I had an idea for a kosher pig
    flying around and doing a jig

    It went over like a lead balloon

  55. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    In a penthouse suite down in Cancun
    Lives a slovenly mobster each June.
    All you tourists should know
    That the world down below
    Is his 24/7 spittoon.

  56. Ian Graham says:

    When wooing a woman called June
    Don’t say that her name sounds like Moon
    As that one’s been done
    And she’ll think you’re more fun
    If you tell her she rhymes with Balloon.

  57. David Reddekopp says:

    Caterpillars go in their cocoon
    They’re emerging, no longer jejune
    But I just do not know
    How it works, can you show
    How the crawlers are flying so soon?

  58. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    A beauty had caused me to swoon
    And envision a carnal commune.
    But when we did speak
    She lost her mystique.
    Dear April may just be jejune.

  59. correct # of syllables:

    We married in the month of June
    Under the dazzling luminescent moon

    When I said “I do”
    My water broke through

    The roses we arranged at noon

  60. No one I know says “jejune”
    So on a carefree afternoon

    I asked some professors
    To take a few guessers

    They said it’s a springtime typhoon

  61. Go ahead, Tin Pan Alley, and croon
    A tune in which “moon” rhymes with “June”.
    Sing of stealing a kiss
    From a lissome young miss —
    Just don’t sing it to me. I’m immune.

  62. As a candidate, Trump is a goon.
    He’s ignorant, boorish, jejune,
    A total disgrace…
    And he’s leading the race
    (I think I’ll go live on the Moon).

  63. Most Lit critics sing the same tune:
    They call science fiction jejune.
    But they’re way off the mark
    About Niven and Clarke,
    And Frank Herbert sure knows what he’s Dune.

  64. If you go to the shore from mid-June
    ‘Til September, and walk on the dune
    In the dark of the night,
    You should carry a light
    To alert all the young people scrune.

    (Maybe ” screw’n’ ” would be clearer, but I like “scrune”.)

  65. Sue Dulley says:

    Johnny Cash loved his second wife, June
    And it seems they were always in tune.
    In the film “Walk The Line”
    They’re portrayed doing fine
    By J. Phoenix and R. WitherSpoon.

  66. Diane Groothuis says:

    I really don’t wish to lampoon
    The plight of that woman named June
    But she gets in a huff
    If you run out of puff
    And declares your balloon jest jejune.

  67. David Reddekopp says:

    I went home with a woman named June
    All around the room clothing was strewn
    But the sex, it was brief
    And it caused her much grief
    As I came, so she went: much too soon.

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    I kissed my “Internet” date in June
    Under the luminescent moon

    Her breath was so bad
    I fainted and had

    A case of “garlic monsoon”

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    My husband says we don’t “spoon”
    He calls me a boring jejune

    I said, “Remember
    “when we were married in December”

    I told you, “once in a blue moon”

  70. Lisi Nortman says:

    My “Internet” date started to croon
    It was the magical month of June

    When he began to trill
    I got a terrifying chill

    He sounded just like a raccoon

  71. Allen Wilcox says:

    The monthly-named girls were a boon
    To the lech, “I will sure do it soon
    In April. I say
    Then I’ll do it in May,
    And, of course, I will do in June.”

  72. Allen Wilcox says:

    The debate will be on us quite soon,
    And we should all get ready to moon.
    Our best target there
    Has orange flowing hair.
    The best word to describe him – jejune.

  73. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Summertime comes up in June
    And that’s when I leave my cocoon
    I try to remember
    Come back in September
    And you tell me, “Why back so soon?”

  74. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I looked up the new word, ‘jejune’
    Its meaning I did not attune
    ‘Simplistic; naïve;
    Not hard to deceive’
    I feel like a gullible goon.

  75. Suzanne Heymann says:

    On a lovely warm May afternoon
    I went to the local saloon
    Played poker and drank
    My bank account shrank
    ‘Cause I didn’t go home until June.

  76. Allen Wilcox says:

    A well-endowed bride, of course, June
    Busted out quite all over, and soon
    The carousel stopped.
    The groom’s jaw, it dropped,
    And the honeymoon seemed opportune.

  77. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 224.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Roe or Thoreau or Row.