Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HEAT at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using “HEAT” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A flier is feeling the heat;
He’s racing and hoping to beat
A remarkable guy.
But it’s pie in the sky,
Cuz his pilot opponent is fleet.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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95 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HEAT at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Jesse Levy says:

    I’m going mad from the heat.
    But I just will not give up on meat.
    I’ll stand here still grillin’
    though the temperature’s killin’
    ‘Cause the taste of burnt flesh is so sweet.

  2. Brian Allgar says:

    They were frolicking in the back seat
    Like a bitch and a mongrel in heat
    When a sudden bright light
    Gave the couple a fright.
    “My turn next”, said the cop on the beat.

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    He had gone to the kitchen to heat
    His beef burgers, so tender and sweet.
    When they caught the chef, canned,
    With his dick in his hand,
    He explained, “I’m just beating my meat.”

  4. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    You smashed it, the beat of the heat
    with humour admirably neat
    I feel at a loss
    to better your toss
    so taken I am with your feat.

    (The first three)

  5. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    There was once a gal with one teat
    whose nip was a visual treat
    to get on the nerves
    of nipple shy perves
    She peepholed her tops for the treat.

  6. Dave Johnson says:

    They went to a swingers’ retreat;
    And saw lots of couples in heat.

    There was a big dance
    Where no one wore pants;

    The members all swung to the beat.

  7. Judith H. Block says:

    Leave the kitchen if you hate the heat
    Just go now and take a back seat.
    ‘Cause governing’s hard
    The crises bombard
    It’s more than hauteur and conceit.

  8. Judith H. Block says:

    Be careful and watch what you eat
    Most foods raw, but some you can heat.
    Organic is best
    All oils are cold pressed;
    Make sure that you stay off the wheat.

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    There was a gal, smart and petite
    Was pretty, and so very sweet
    She moved up to Maine
    Reasons not arcane-
    She just couldn’t stand summer heat.

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    A rich guy despised summer’s heat
    For sports, always got a box seat
    His dates were so mad
    They called him a cad:
    He always made them go Dutch Treat

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    A gal always drove up the heat
    Her love making hot and off-beat.
    Her guys would go wild
    Were always beguiled
    She’s skillful and very discreet.

  12. Lisi Nortman says:

    Here in Miami, it’s “neat”
    Although we really can’t take the heat

    We moved to Oshkosh
    And oh, my gosh

    We suffered extreme cold feet!

  13. Lisi Nortman says:

    At summer school, there’s a flood of heat
    The AC broke down, and we’re all beat

    But I go every day
    Because a man named Jay

    Is the janitor who swept me off my feet

  14. Fred Bortz says:

    The authorities turned up the heat
    On the ladies who walk on the street:
    “You must lower your rates
    For your businessman dates.
    How else can our city compete?”

  15. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A scientist hastend to tweet
    I have such a boil on my seat
    a melon in size
    it grew cause I’m wise
    at last something no one can beat

    and for the competion
    last line

    or maybe I was just in heat

  16. Lisi Nortman says:

    We sit out in the heat
    Relaxing: put up our feet

    With “I phones” in hand
    And mobile broadband

    It’s hard to make ends meet

  17. Dave Johnson says:

    He played for the Miami Heat;
    A run where they couldn’t be beat.

    But now back at home,
    Other predators roam;

    It’s a Warrior’s Golden retreat.

  18. Lisi Nortman says:

    Johnny works hard, even in the heat
    Mowing lawns, and applying peat

    He loves reshaping
    And artistic landscaping

    He will never let the grass grow under his feet

  19. YT Cai says:

    Austerity has Greece feeling the heat
    Europe’s demands they’ll never meet
    voting with dexterity
    They said shove austerity
    In a way that was no longer diss Crete

  20. YT Cai says:

    The dry cleaner put some steam heat
    So the kilt his expectations would meet
    At the Scottish fest
    He put to the test
    Whether or not his dress was re-pleat

  21. Sue Dulley says:

    I’m a glutton for glutinous wheat;
    As a treat, toast and jam’s hard to beat,
    And I flee when I see
    Food that’s tagged “gluten-free”.
    (There, I said it. Please don’t give me heat!)

  22. Ed Edwards says:

    When you mention the subject of “heat”
    I remember last Summer, in Crete.
    At a hundred degrees,
    We were brought to our knees.
    (And the people fried eggs on the street.)

  23. Kristin Smith says:

    from Phyllis Sterling Smith:

    You can’t get away from the heat.
    Air-conditioning sure would be neat.
    So just stop your bitchin’.
    Stay out of the kitchen
    And lay claim to the windiest seat.

  24. Fred Bortz says:

    The devil admitted defeat.
    “I concede to that man in the sheet.
    His hate, I believe, will
    Outdo me for evil.
    And crosses beat brimstone for heat.”

  25. Judith H. Block says:

    I stand by my statement on wheat
    Please no attacks, don’t give me heat
    The book called, “Grain Brain”
    And my struggles reign
    It’s more than some faddish conceit.

  26. Judith H. Block says:

    I wonder, can one blame the heat
    Brain’s sharper when one is off wheat.
    Off gluten and sweets
    It counts, what one eats.
    Great changes one sees are concrete.

  27. Veralynne Pepper says:

    I once had a green parakeet
    That never could chirp, but just bleat
    There was no tune or song
    And it didn’t last long
    But, boy could that ‘keet keep a beat!

  28. Veralynne Pepper says:


    Grillin’s no way to avoid the heat
    Salad’s cooler but folks need their meat.
    If they only knew
    What meat animals go through,
    They’d know the sweetness is found in the bleat.

  29. Mark Kane says:

    When they meet with a tropical heat
    Neither he nor his gal are discreet.
    After teasing flirtation,
    And greedy gyration,
    They’ll swim, then they’ll rinse and repeat.

  30. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the scorching Arizona heat
    I met my true love, Pete

    He couldn’t dance
    Because by chance

    Pete had two left feet

  31. Lisi Nortman says:


    At summer school there’s a flood of heat
    The AC broke down and we’re beat

    But I go every day
    Because a man named Jay

    Is the janitor who swept me off my feet

  32. Dave Johnson says:

    He fancies himself as elite;
    For opponents, he’ll turn up the heat.

    But here’s Mr. Trump
    Making such a loud thump

    The Democrats say “What a treat!”

  33. She said “I’ll turn up the heat”
    As she disrobed and climbed ‘neath a sheet.
    Her French lover was scared
    And he cried “Sacre’ Merde”,
    Then he ran out the door on cold feet.

  34. Dave Johnson says:

    The dance band is bringing the heat;
    And he thinks he’s light on his feet.

    His gyrating wiggles
    Bring laughter and giggles;

    That eight-stepping cha-cha is sweet!

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    I was walking along in the stifling heat
    When a pain struck; my heart skipped a beat

    I called the podiatrist
    Who unconditionally did insist

    I have many problems of defeat

  36. Lisi Nortman says:


    In the scorching Arizona heat
    I met my true love: name was Pete

    He couldn’t dance
    Because by chance

    Handsome Pete had two left feet

  37. Kirk Miller says:

    My limericks take lots of heat.
    The accent on lines doesn’t meet.
    Since the cadence is off,
    All the readers do scoff
    At the agony of de feet.

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    revision : something may be wrong with website?

    In the scorching Arizona heat
    I met my true love, whose name was Pete

    He couldn’t dance
    Because by chance

    Handsome Pete had two left feet!

  39. Phil Graham says:

    A woman turned white as a sheet
    When her cop friend was not too discreet
    She said, “Show me your Glock”
    What he heard, though, was “cock”
    So he proved he was packing some heat.

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    If you want relief from the stifling heat
    Here’s a trick that’s really neat

    Put ice in your pants
    And do a dance

    Then even the heat will feel real sweet

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    We used to meet in the back seat
    Of his ’55 Chevy in the heat

    We would swelter and sweat
    Till we both were wet

    It was a very uncomfortable way to cheat

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    Next Chapter:

    We used to meet in the FRONT SEAT
    Of his ’62 Chevy in the heat

    We would swelter and sweat
    Till we both were wet

    It’s hard to do it in a bucket seat!

  43. Judith H. Block says:

    I don’t like the cold or the heat
    I don’t like foods sour or sweet.
    I’m really a pain
    All I do is complain
    Till I get my hot lover’s treat.

  44. Judith H. Block says:

    Bewitched by the tropical heat
    She let down her guard, it was sweet
    The guy took her fast
    But left her aghast
    By making a hasty retreat.

  45. Fred Bortz says:

    The Donald is feeling the heat,
    And although he deleted the tweet,
    He’s feel the pushback
    From an insult–a Bush-whack.
    He stepped in it hard with both feet.

  46. Fred Bortz says:

    Inspired by Judith H. Block’s “hasty retreat” verse.

    His online behavior brought heat
    For sharing of something discreet.
    Be careful on Twitter.
    Your love may turn bitter
    If you make a too hasty retweet.

  47. Kirk Miller says:

    Put an egg in some water for a treat.
    Then to cook, you apply lots of heat.
    Let it boil for a while,
    And remove with a smile,
    ‘Cause you know that the egg’s hard to beat.

  48. Elisson says:

    So you think you know about heat?
    The Dead Sea is really a treat.
    Hot salt water will braise you
    Burning sands – they will craze you
    As they sear all the meat from your feet.

  49. Diane Groothuis says:

    When salesmen turn up the heat
    I do what I can to retreat
    They’re trying their luck
    To make a quick buck
    But that makes me vote with my feet.

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    When I was young and petite
    I had a boyfriend whose name was Pete

    On cold days we’d get naughty
    And sometimes extremely bawdy

    We found a sure-fire way to activate the heat

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    The problem with the heat
    Is that you tend to excrete

    An offensive stench
    So be a mensch

    And take a shower from head to feet

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the sweltering Miami heat
    We stumbled over our feet

    A stranger saved Jim
    Then I tripped HIM

    Aaaah: revenge is so sweet

  53. Dave Johnson says:

    While basking in summertime heat,
    Some people should be more discreet.

    Their Speedos and thongs
    Expose all the wrongs

    That bludgeon our eyes when we meet.

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    He said “Nevermore will I tweet;
    ‘Cause one of them sure brought the heat.”

    It’s true – breaking dumb
    With the stroke of a thumb

    Can put your ass out on the street.

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    People said, “What a feat!”
    “You’re married 50 years; that’s neat”

    “What is the key
    To your longevity?”

    I replied, “I never touched the heat”

  56. Rich (In Name Only) in Reno says:

    Though hung over, I chose to compete
    And still won each and every heat
    But come the last race
    I ran seventh place
    For by the last lap I was beat

    (Yeah, it’s not a knee slapper, but I wanted to go with a more obscure definition of the key word.)

  57. Lisi Nortman says:

    Grandma Rose died from the heat
    In her coffin, she looked so sweet

    But Uncle Tony and friends
    Met different ends

    They went to a place called Concrete

  58. Dave Johnson says:

    His style is to blather and bleat;
    Then broadcast a scurrilous tweet.

    This candidate knows
    The poll result shows

    Obnoxiousness generates heat.

  59. Lisi Nortman says:

    We like to make love in the heat
    It’s sensual and oh, so sweet

    John is tall
    And I am small

    But we manage to make both ends meet

  60. Dave Johnson says:

    They journeyed in tropical heat
    On a sailboat, well-stocked and complete.

    The schedule was tight
    But filled with delight;

    Go snorkel, make love, then repeat.

  61. Kirk Miller says:

    Man had thought he would like to compete
    At the contest, endure intense heat
    Because one of his goals
    Was to walk on hot coals.
    But the firewalker failed, got cold feet.

  62. Dave Johnson says:

    From Brian Johnson:

    To stay cool at my work is a feat;
    The AC is no match for the heat.

    Please don’t think I’m a boor
    If I walk through the door,

    In shorts, with flip flops on my feet.

  63. Bob Leggett says:

    Once a ships stoker called Pete
    Said I can’t put up with this heat
    So made a goal
    To stop shoveling coal
    Now he’s Admiral of the Fleet

  64. David Reddekopp says:

    I know of a gay man in heat
    Who is seeking another to eat
    But rejection’s his fate
    As his targets are straight
    Since he can’t beat the heat, beats his meat.

  65. David Reddekopp says:

    A trucker was parked on the street
    And his dog, she was in the back seat
    But the man left his truck
    In the blazing sun – fuck!
    Let me tell you, that bitch was in heat!

  66. David Reddekopp says:

    John’s marriage, he thought, lost its heat
    So one day he decided to cheat
    Yes, this John was a jerk
    But his wang wouldn’t work
    My God, poetic justice is sweet.

  67. Kristin Smith says:

    From Phyllis Sterling Smith:

    I shed all my clothes in this heat.
    My selfie, they say, can’t be beat.
    But it isn’t a sin
    To show so much skin.
    If you don’t like the pic press delete.

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the sweltering Miami heat
    I made love with “sexy Pete”

    When I saw him with Jean
    I kicked him in the peen

    Aaah, revenge is so sweet

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the sweltering Miami heat
    I was looking for a piece of meat

    I called a girl named Janet
    Who “sent me to another planet”

    But got angry when I asked for a receipt

  70. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the Arizona heat
    I gave my gal a treat

    The dinner cost a fortune
    She ordered a very large portion

    Next time we’ll go dutch treat

  71. Dave Johnson says:

    Bud the Butcher is always in heat,
    Thinking women are there for his treat.

    But he found out from Jill
    That without the blue pill,

    There’s no market for Bud’s boneless meat.

  72. Phil Graham says:

    My lover is short and she’s sweet
    We get horny when she comes in heat
    Am I s’posed to feel sheepish
    Or just a bit creepish
    When mounting her makes her go, “bleat?”

    (Not the bestial hear from me…)

  73. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the sticky Miami heat
    I made love with “sexy Pete”

    He wore a Speedo
    Under a tuxedo

    I didn’t know he was so elite!

  74. Lisi Nortman says:

    We went to the movies to beat the heat
    Who should be there, but my husband Pete!

    He was with a looker:
    The town hooker

    And that’s how I found out that Pete was a cheat

  75. Dave Johnson says:

    His delusions will ward off the heat
    From incendiary things he’ll repeat.

    He sputters and spews,
    Bloviating his views

    While the G.O.P. pleads “Take a seat!”

  76. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sometimes in the navy, there’s a lot of heat
    The weather varies with a subtle deceit

    The men stand in line
    For “Lady Devine”

    By now she has slept with the entire fleet

  77. Lisi Nortman says:

    My laptop was emitting a lot of heat
    So I was curious and took a comfy seat

    Whoever was Lexi
    It told, “I’m real sexy”

    An opportunity for me to hit “delete”

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    We make love in the heat
    Covered with stalks of wheat

    I dress up like a queen
    And we bounce on a trampoline

    Some people think we’re offbeat

  79. Lisi Nortman says:

    We met in the blazing heat
    In room three at the Hotel Cheat

    He told me his ding
    Was just a little thing

    And we should make this “short and sweet”

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    My cardiologist’s name is Pete
    His body makes me ooze with heat

    I asked why he was eager
    To do this procedure

    He said because my heart skips a beat

  81. Dave Johnson says:

    For relief from the sweltering heat,
    She doffed all her clothes on the street.

    The town was appalled,
    A S.W.A.T. team was called;

    Three ministers brought her a sheet.

  82. Lisi Nortman says:

    The experts say don’t eat meat
    They also advise against wheat

    If you take their advice
    You’ll subsist on brown rice

    And collapse in the sweltering heat

  83. Lisi Nortman says:

    Grandma was very discreet
    She wore warm clothes even in heat

    But when she met Sam
    She said, “God Damn”

    “It’s time to get back on my feet”

  84. Dave Johnson says:

    My BFF doesn’t eat meat;
    Or anything else needing heat.

    But he really gluts
    On acorns and nuts;

    A gluten-free squirrel – ain’t that neat?

  85. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Slight Revision:

    Grandma was very discreet
    She dressed “warm” even in heat

    But when she met Sam
    She said, “Hot Damn!”

    “It’s time to get back on my feet!”

  86. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the stifling Florida heat
    I met a lovely petite

    Lady, “a beauty”
    With a superb bootie

    But her breath smelled like rancid meat

  87. Lisi Nortman says:

    When you’re depressed in the heat
    Try not to feel too downbeat

    For “Some Enchanted Evening”
    Despite the fact you’re grieving

    You’ll be unexpectedly swept off your feet

  88. Lisi Nortman says:

    Slight Revision

    If you’re depressed because of the heat
    Try not to feel too downbeat

    For “Some Enchanted Evening”
    Even though you’re grieving

    A stranger will sweep you off you feet

  89. Lisi Nortman says:

    uh oh

    A stranger will sweep you off YOUR feet


  90. CPHenly says:

    His Pom’ranian pet likes to eat
    Food prepared in deep oil at high heat.
    His clear fave is pota-
    toes with sauce from toma-
    toes, so pops named his poor pup Pom Frites.

  91. Dave Johnson says:

    She’s the essence of serious heat;
    From the top of her head to her feet.

    It’s not Miley or Kim
    But the hipsters’ new whim:

    Miss Piggy from Sesame Street.

  92. Allen Wilcox says:

    A drunk Sidney and Rod in a meet
    Came up with a title quite neat
    For their film. The right fit?
    They decided that it
    Should be called “In the Night of the Heat.”

  93. Allen Wilcox says:

    Computers for POTUS were neat.
    The lingo supplied mental heat
    His plans for the land
    Were now ready, and
    It was time for “Control-Alt-Delete.”

  94. Allen Wilcox says:

    My friend gave his doggie a treat.
    He borrowed a bitch quite in heat.
    One thing led to another.
    My friend exclaimed, “Brother,
    My doggie is sure now upbeat!”

  95. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 221.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Sell or Cell.