MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Two legs — once scrawny,
Now attractively muscled.
The up side of stairs.

(Inspired by three prompts: Write An “Ode To A Body Part” over at Read Write Poem; Manic Monday’s ”Two” and Writers’ Island “Changed.”)

And speaking of prompts, please give my latest haiku and limerick prompt a try.

Technorati Tags: Physical Humor, Body Verse, Writing Prompts

Those imagined slights:
Often more insidious
Than the real ones.

An imagined slight,
Paranoiac reaction—
His girlfriend no more.

(Written in response to 3 Word Wednesday’s Prompt — “Girlfriend, Imagined, Slight.”  I prefer the first one, even though it’s missing one of the three words.)

And speaking of prompts, I hope you’ll give my haiku and limerick prompt a try.

Technorati Tags: Imagined Slights, Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is bad jobs. Why? Because everyone I know has had at least one really awful job. As for me, I’ve had more bad jobs than I’d care to remember. So here’s a pair of poems about two of them.  First, my limerick about substitute teaching:

In my twenties I substitute taught.
‘Tis a challenging job and it’s fraught;
All those calls before dawn
To instruct devil’s spawn
Made me anxious, uptight—overwrought.

And now, my haiku about working in a discount department store:

Discount lingerie:
Folded, painstakingly shelved.
Soon to be litter.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about bad jobs. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your bad jobs-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Bad Jobs, Employment Humor, Job Limerick, Substitute Teaching, Department Store, Discount Lingerie, Shoppers, School Humor, Education Limerick

Before I get to today’s limerick and haiku theme, I want to thank you for the many kind comments and emails concerning my father’s death.  I was very touched by your thoughtfulness. 

My latest limerick and haiku prompt topic is absent-mindedness and memory. First, my limerick:

“Please help me! I really need aid,”
Said a lady who looked quite afraid.
“Seems I can’t find my purse,
And, perhaps, even worse
It appears that my maid’s been mislaid.”

And now, my haiku:

Memorized data—
Still there, but hard to access.
Mulltiple choice brain.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about absent-mindedness and/or memory. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. (Due to my late posting, this prompt will be open through February 14th.)

If you want to keep up to date with my poetry prompts, you can subscribe to either my entire blog feed or just to my limerick and haiku prompt topic feed.

Technorati Tags: Absent-mindedness Humor,  Memory, Losing Things Limerick, Behavior Humor, Personality Humor, Brain

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is decisions and indecision.  First, my limerick:

If there’s one thing I cannot abide,
It is people who cannot decide
What to eat, where to go,
Hot or cold, fast or slow.
Do you think I should take it in stride?

And now, my haiku:

Postponing decisions
Eliminates your options:
Fate accompli.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about decisions or indecision. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: Thanks to the few of you who have been joining in on the limerick and haiku prompt fun. But I’m beginning to wonder if it makes sense to continue these prompts, with so few people participating.

I’m not sure what the problem is. Lack of publicity? The themes? The difficulty in writing limericks? If anyone has any suggestions as to how to widen the appeal of these prompts, I’d appreciate your posting them in the comments section. Thanks!

UPDATE: Although I usually post prompts every Friday, my current prompt will remain open until February 1st because I’ll be traveling.

If you want to keep up to date with my poetry prompts, you can subscribe to either my entire blog feed or just to my limerick and haiku prompt topic feed.

Technorati Tags: Decision Humor, Indecisiveness Limerick, Personality Satire, Behavior Haiku

Trash Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

On  trash day I set a tv
On the curb and before I could flee,
A neighborhood jerk
Yelled, “How well does it work?”
Guess he wanted a signed guaranty.

Streets lined with garbage:
Discarded chairs, broken lamps.
Scavengers’ treasure.

(Prompted by  Easy Street’s To the Curb and Writer’s Island Treasure.)

Technorati Tags: Garbage Humor, Annoying Neighbors,  Trash Poems, Scavenger Verse, Sanitation Day Satire

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is money. First, my limerick:

I once balanced my checkbook with ease.
But, alas, it’s no longer a breeze.
Where is each canceled check?
Banking statements are dreck.
Are they trying to hide all those fees?

And now my haiku:

“People want change,”
Claim presidential candidates.
I’d prefer twenties.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about money. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Technorati Tags: Money Verse, Banking Statements, Checkbook Humor, Financial Poetry, Banking Limerick

My resolution:
No more resolutions
I can’t keep, like this one.

If you missed my satirical New Year’s Resolutions Contract, it’s here.  And I hope you’ll join in on my latest haiku and limerick prompt, whose theme is lies and deception.

(This haiku was inspired by Sunday Scribblings and by Read Write Poem, which is back in business thanks to Deb of Stoneymoss.)

Technorati Tags: New Year’s Resolutions Verse, Sunday Scribblings, Read Write Poem, Holiday Haiku Prompts

I love 3 Word Wednesday! Just like last week, it presents three words to be used in a poem, and a haiku immediately writes itself in the word order presented.  Weird, huh?

This week’s words are button, luck, and pretend:

Button up your lips
And, with luck, we can pretend
This never happened.

Technorati Tags: Secrecy Haiku, Silent Verse, 3 Word Wednesday

When prompted to use the words curious, eventually, and shower in a poem, this haiku more or less wrote itself:

I am curious:
Will you eventually
Shower?  I hope so.

And here’s another haiku, this one inspired by an earth-themed prompt:

There’s no earthly way
I’d ever vote for global
Warming deniers.

Technorati Tags: 3 Word Wednesday Prompt, Writers Island, Cleanliness Humor,  Shower Verse, Global Warming, Earth Poetry

Ev’ning argument.
Sleepless night, anger unchecked.
Early morning frost.

(Probably not the sort of frost this prompt has in mind.)

Note: There’s still time to participate in my latest haiku and limerick prompt.

Technorati Tags: Argument Haiku, Anger Haiku, Frost

Sorry for the late post!  My father’s very ill, and I’ve been traveling between New York and North Carolina. 

Today’s limerick and haiku themes are wine and spirits or the New Year or, if you prefer, both. Here’s my wine and spirits limerick: 

The bartender offered cheap brandy.
“No fine cognac?” I whined—wasn’t handy.
So I had to decline,
Mulled and ordered dry wine—
Told the barkeep, “Your cab tastes like candy!”

Here’s a wine snob haiku, the first of today’s two haiku:

Decant, sniff, sip, spit—
Wine connoisseur’s ritual.
I’d rather just drink.

And here’s a haiku that combines both themes:

Champagne bubbles dance.
Spirited revelers toast.
A new year’s welcomed.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about today’s theme(s). When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here. And you can find my New Year’s Resolutions humor here.)

Technorati Tags: new years, cognac, brandy, wine snob humor, wine and spirits, champagne

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is love at first sight or, if you prefer, simply love. Here’s my love at first sight limerick: 

Amoré Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane

‘Twas amoré (yes, love) at first sight
When I met my dear husband that night.
We’ve been wed thirty years—
So much laughter, some tears.
Mark, my husband, remains Mr. Right. 

And here’s my haiku on the same theme:

I laughed at the thought
Of love at first sight, but our
Love had the last laugh.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about love at first sight or some other love-related topic. When you’ve posted your poem, please return here and add a direct link to your love verse, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Technorati Tags: Limerick and Haiku Prompts, Love Poetry,  Romance Limerick,  Marriage Verse, Love At First Sight, Poetry Prompts, Romance Poem, Amoré

Welcome to my 2nd Poetry Prompt. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) on this week’s theme, which is Multitasking. When you’ve posted your poem, please return here and add a direct link to your multitasking-related verse, using Mr. Linky.

Here’s my multitasking limerick, which was inspired by this news story: Runny Pasta Sauce Nabs Hit And Run Driver.

Just Desserts
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s risky to drive while you eat,
Most especially pasta with meat:
Slurping red sauce is rash—
You might very well crash
And leave evidence trails head to feet.

And here’s my multitasking themed haiku:

Lectured to not do
Two things at once, he obeyed
And always did three.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

Technorati Tags: Limerick and Haiku Prompts, Multitasking Humor, Automobile Humor, Food Verse, Car Limerick, Poetry Prompts, Driving Poetry

I’ve been having so much fun drawing inspiration from poetry prompts, that I thought I’d launch my own.  And since I’m seriously (and unseriously) into limericks and haiku, I’m focusing on those two forms.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) on this week’s theme: Annoying Advice.  When your poem’s taken root, please return to this post and add a direct link to your themed poem using Mr. Linky.  

Here’s my Annoying Advice limerick:

Chin Up
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Keep your chin up, and things will be fine.
Just act brave. Do not bitch, flinch, or whine.
You have the right stuff.
You just have to hang tough.”
Does anyone fall for that line? 

And here’s my Annoying Advice haiku:

When somebody says
“You sure you want to do that?”
Doubt perversely fades.

Technorati Tags: Limerick and Haiku Prompts, Poetry Prompts, Annoying Advice

Warning: This post (three haiku about competition) is humor-free:

The need to be first—
Exciting, addictive,
But doomed to disappoint.

Competing oboists
Break reeds and steal music—
Angling for an edge.

Orchestra try-outs
Held behind screens to halt bias—
Betrayed by heels.

(For the lighter side of music, click here.)

Technorati Tags: Oboists, Oboe Reeds, Auditions, Music, Orchestras, Symphony, Competition

Eyeing a road sign
That says, “Turn Right,” he turns left.
It turns out, he’s right.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The “he” in this haiku is my husband, Mark.  He’ll freely admit to being a bit perverse.  He’ll also (legitimately) brag about his great sense of direction.

I eyed this prompt and used this road sign to write this haiku.

Technorati Tags: Directions Humor, Men and Directions, Driving Haiku

It’s hard to believe, but snow globes (even tiny ones) are a carry-on baggage no-no. I’m not kidding — an  airline luggage inspector actually seized our miniscule Vegas memento. Why?  It seems that bomb-makers can do something really, really scary with the fraction-of-an-ounce of water contained in an eight-dollar snow globe.

And that brings me to my latest haiku:

Seizing your snow globe
For being an airline threat
Doesn’t hold water.

(You can find more of my travel and vacation humor here, and more container haiku here.)

Technorati Tags: Snow Globes, Vacation Verse, Travel Mementos, Airport Rules, Luggage Regulations, Vacation Fun, Airline Humor, Gift Haiku

Enough with the light limericks for today!  Here’s some heavy (for me) haiku, inspired by a handful of poetry prompts.

First up:  It’s A Blog Eat Blog World serves us gravy as inspiration, while Weekend Wordsmith hands us the word hand to run with, and Writers Island provides the friendship.  Put the three together and you get:

A hand in friendship
Would please and gratify me.
Love would be gravy.

Next, 3WW asks us to use the words compensate, modern and radio in poem or prose.  My classical music background probably had something to do with this haiku using that trio of words:

Modern radio
Fails to compensate for our
Dying symphonies.

Finally, Haiku Sunday requests haiku about belonging:

All my belongings—
The ones the thieves didn’t steal—
Scattered and estranged.

Technorati Tags: Poetry Prompts, Musical Haiku, Theft Haiku, Criminal Poetry, Friendship Verse

Many prestigious and popular sites just took a huge Google PageRank hit. For instance,  The Washington Post, Forbes, The Chicago Sun-Times, and SFGate.com have all dropped from a 7 to a 5.

Search engine experts and webmasters are speculating that Google is punishing these and numerous other sites because of their advertising practices.  And that brings me to my latest haiku:

Is Google at war,
Smiting ad revenue streams
That bypass Google?

(You can find more of my technology, computer, and search engine humor here and my news haiku here.)

Technorati Tags: Google Humor, PageRank Poetry, Revenue Streams, Search Engine Humor, Webmaster Poetry, Computer Humor,  Technology Haiku