Posts Tagged ‘Limerick Of The Week’
Sunday, September 23rd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow was trying his hand
At arranging a hot one-night stand.
Said the lady: “Reports are,
Your Calvin Klein shorts are,
At best, insufficiently manned.”
Congratulations to Scott Crowder, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow was trying his hand
At teaching his dog a command.
But he slurred just a bit,
And when he said “Sit,”
He got a bit more than he planned.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Tim James, Brendan Beary, Richard Diakun, Carolyn Henly, and John Peter Larkin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Craig Dykstra:
A friend of mine once tried his hand
Selling frozen treats down by the sand.
But the end of the summer
Killed business – a bummer!
Last night it was Custard’s Last Stand.
Tim James:
A fellow was trying his hand
At building a nudie bar brand.
But he made too few hires
For clients’ desires;
Supply was outstripped by demand.
Brendan Beary:
A fellow was trying his hand
On the Tokyo stage, but was canned —
The director yelled, “Cut!”
Then reproached him with, “What
Part of Noh do you not understand?”
Richard Diakun:
The lady again played her hand,
And this time the pot was a grand.
She got quite a rush
As she showed off her flush.
Her cleavage distracted as planned.
Carolyn Henly:
A poet was trying her hand
At a lim’rick that wouldn’t get panned.
The rhymes were a breeze;
She contrived them with ease.
If only the doggone-son-of-a-jumping-frog last line had scanned.
John Peter Larkin:
A fellow was trying his hand
At making his member expand.
It worked rather well.
He said, “This is swell
To know I can grow on-demand.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brendan Beary, Carolyn Henly, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Richard Diakun, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, September 16th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was planning a spread
“For the birthday,” she said, “of my Fred.
He’s a sorry schlemiel
Without much appeal,
But surprisingly useful in bed.”
Congratulations to Susan Taylor, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A rich man was planning a spread
Of ads full of lies to be read.
“We’ll swing the election!
Evade all detection!
It’s free speech, the High Court has said.”
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins this special Limerick Repartee Award for her limerick written in response to Craig Dykstra’s Limerick of the Week winner from last week. To fully appreciate Johanna’s verse, you need to read Craig’s and Johanna’s limericks back to back. So here they are:
Craig Dykstra:
The bed buyer started to preen,
Though the mattress guy’d said something mean:
He had looked at her mass
And the size of her ass
And said “Madam, you’re fit for a queen!”
Johanna Richmond:
A woman, caressing her spread,
To the squirt at the Sealy store said,
“Queen indeed, but I fear
You can’t satisfy, dear:
Extra firm’s what I like in my bed.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Carolyn Henly, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Daniel Ari, Jamie Hutchinson, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
A fellow was planning a spread;
“A barbecue’s coming!” he said.
But a shortage of beef
Gave him all kinds of grief.
Now no one can find Mr. Ed.
Carolyn Henly:
A woman was planning a spread,
But she wasn’t quite right in the head.
The theme of her gig
Was “A Night in the Brig.”
She served nothing but water and bread.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
While a rancher was checking his spread,
He found a lone cow in a shed.
“The bull is out wooing.
I don’t feel like screwing.
I really don’t want to be bred!”
Daniel Ari: (For an extra laugh check out his limerick link.)
I, Daniel, am planning a spread
Of humus, falafel and bread;
And since my own pate
Is smooth as a plate,
I’ll serve it on top of my head.
Jamie Hutchinson:
When a shepherd boy laid out a spread
For his lover, she turned tail and fled.
“What was it, my pet,
That spoiled our duet?
The haggis? Or something I said?”
Colleen Murphy:
A dingbat was planning a spread,
But mixed up her plans in her head.
She mashed the tomatoes
And sliced raw potatoes,
Then stuffed the fresh duck in the bread.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Carolyn Henly, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, Daniel Ari, David Lefkovits, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Susan Taylor, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 11 Comments »
Sunday, September 9th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
The bed buyer started to preen,
Though the mattress guy’d said something mean:
He had looked at her mass
And the size of her ass
And said “Madam, you’re fit for a queen!”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for the same limerick, which received the most Facebook “likes.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Craig Dykstra, Bruce Niedt, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty):
A fellow who tended to preen
Flashed a grin at the Jumbo-tron screen
And said, “What nominee?
This is all about me.
I’ll be running in 2016.”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A woman who tended to preen
Was found dead. Cops were called to the scene.
Her spouse cried, “My wife
Did NOT take her life!
She would never be caught dead in green!”
Craig Dykstra:
For her boyfriend, she started to preen,
Stating “I have the legs of a queen!”
Then she asked “In this light
Which looks best – ‘left’ or ‘right’ ?”
He said “I’m more a fan of ‘between’. “
Bruce Niedt:
A fellow who tended to preen
Picked up gals from the singles bar scene.
But he’s now in the pen
Where he does five-to-ten –
His last conquest was only sixteen.
Jamie Hutchinson:
A charmer was starting to preen,
As he sweet-talked the lovely Alene.
“May I stay?” “Yes, you may.”
Then he learned, as they lay,
That Alene was a Turing machine.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Craig Dykstra, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, September 2nd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Bill Klein who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A farm wife was peeved at her mate
And his personal hygiene of late.
The stench so extended,
The pigs were offended
And threatened to move out of state.
Congratulations to Jim Delaney who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was peeved at her mate,
So she packed all his stuff in a crate
In the dark before dawn,
Set it out on the lawn,
And abandoned it all to its fate.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Richard Diakun, Stephen Fleming, Johanna Richmond, Jim Sullivan, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, and Bruce Niedt. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Richard Diakun:
A woman was peeved at her mate,
Who thought when she said she was late
That all of their lovin’
Left one in the oven,
Instead of her plane at the gate.
Stephen Fleming:
A woman was peeved at her mate
For constantly putting on weight.
But “the bigger the cushion,
The better the pushin’,”
He said as he cleaned off his plate.
Johanna Richmond:
A woman’s been peeved at her mate
Since their date back in seventy eight
When a finger of rum
Shot his plan not to come;
Now she rues the words “I’ll take it straight.”
Jim Sullivan:
A woman was peeved with her mate,
An actor who loved to orate.
She said, “Clint, if you dare
Yell at one more damn chair,
Pack your bags, and I’ll show you the gate!”
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A woman was peeved that her mate
Spent their cash at a scandalous rate.
“It isn’t the cars
Or the Cuban cigars;
It’s the tips for the strippers I hate!”
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A husky was peeved at a mate.
He growled, “She’s not pulling her weight.
I was shocked at the sight
As she crept out last night
And went with a Wolf on a date!”
Bruce Niedt:
A woman was peeved at her mate,
A Saudi oil-rich potentate:
“We had a big fight
‘Cos he’s drilling tonight,
But by that he means wife number eight!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bill Klein, Bruce Niedt, David Lefkovits, Jim Delaney, Jim Sullivan, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Richard Diakun, Stephen Fleming, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, August 26th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was very obsessed
With being a tidy houseguest.
She was not asked agin,
Though as neat as a pin,
For she’d cleaned out their medicine chest!
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra and Scott Crowder, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks, each of which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Craig Dykstra:
Said the wife, when her husband obsessed
That her negligee should have been pressed:
“Are you try’na be cruel
You near-sighted old fool?
I have already gotten undressed!”
Scott Crowder:
A fellow was very obsessed,
And he just couldn’t get any rest,
‘Til the meter was right,
The rhyming was tight,
And the syllables properly stressed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Bill Klein, Bruce Niedt, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Jim Delaney, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was very obsessed
With the size of the feminine breast.
When he’d speak with a lady
His glance was so shady
“Up here!” was the oft-heard request.
Bill Klein:
A fellow was very obsessed
With funds he had chanced to invest.
But alas, Facebook stock
Promptly dropped like a rock.
Thus, so did the egg from his nest.
Bruce Niedt:
A father was very obsessed
With the way that his teenage girl dressed:
“You inveterate flirt,
That’s a belt, not a skirt,
And your blouse reveals most of your chest!”
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
A fellow was very obsessed
With a very old house he possessed
On the Oregon coast,
Even had its own ghost.
It’s the spirit that settled the West!
Jim Delaney:
A woman was very obsessed
With her health, as she later confessed.
Scared of losing her wits,
She kept checking her tits
To make sure she was keeping abreast.
Colleen Murphy:
“My poodle is very obsessed
With mating,” his owner confessed,
“The Great Dane next door.
But prospects are poor
‘Cause he’s barely a foot high at best.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bill Klein, Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jim Delaney, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, August 19th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Elaine Spall who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gard’ner was asked to explain
How he’d won the 1st Prize once again:
“Well, perhaps you should know
I use Miracle-Gro
Plus a generous dash of Rogaine.”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
There’s only one way to explain
(Though I really don’t mean to complain)
Why the Lim’rick-Off Monday
Gets posted by Sunday:
It’s the “madness” of Madeleine Kane!
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrick McKeon, Colleen Murphy, Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Diane Groothuis, Scott Crowder, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Patrick McKeon:
A fellow was asked to explain
His decision to hijack a plane:
“I’ve got golf with my mate
And I mustn’t be late,
Else I’d surely have stolen a train.”
Colleen Murphy:
The medalist tried to explain
Why she stood on the stand in disdain:
“I should not have faulted
Last night when I vaulted.
It’s not that I’m rude, only vain.”
Bob Dvorak:
A fellow was asked to explain
What he’d do if he had half a brain.
He replied with a laugh,
“I’d give up on that half,
And then vote for that rich guy from Bain.”
Craig Dykstra:
My silo guy tried to explain
The glass panel that keeps out the rain.
“If it’s not kept intact
Your crop rots – that’s a fact:
It’s a case of No Pane, then No Grain.”
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow was asked to explain
A rather embarrassing stain:
“My umbrella’s so small,
It topped only one ball
And the rest was left out in the rain.”
Scott Crowder:
My woman was asked to explain,
Just why she was so inhumane.
She screamed, “IT’S BECAUSE,
OF THIS DAMNED MENOPAUSE!”
I thought she was merely insane.
Diane Groothuis:
A fellow was asked to explain
Why he spent every night with Helene:
“She’s sexy, she’s smart
And ignores when I fart,
And I know that she’ll never abstain”.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, Diane Groothuis, Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Saturday, August 11th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jesse Levy who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow had made a mistake
When trying to use Shake ‘N Bake.
The crumbs wouldn’t stick
To his poor chicken pick
‘Cause the darn thing was still wide awake!
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman had made a mistake
Though her mom warned, “Don’t marry a rake.”
At her wedding she knew
It was likely a clue
When his mistress popped out of the cake.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): Elaine Spall, J Cosmo Newbery, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elaine Spall:
A woman had made a mistake.
Hit the gas pedal hard, not the brake.
Through the windshield, with flair
She undressed while mid-air.
Might as well skinny dip in the lake.
J Cosmo Newbery:
A fellow had made a mistake
And wed a young girl on the ‘make.’
Though she left him quite poor,
What annoyed him much more
Was that even her breasts had been fake.
Patrick McKeon:
A fellow had made a mistake
In his plan for a duck breeding lake.
He went and bought two,
But his flock never grew
Since you can’t mate a drake with a drake.
Scott Crowder:
A fellow had made a mistake,
That only a moron would make.
When a girl meets a guy,
And offers him pie,
Don’t tell her you’d rather have cake.
Jamie Hutchinson:
The thought that she’d made a mistake
Hit a lover at climax’s quake:
“Oh, God! What a stud!
But this curdles my blood:
I’m a succubus—he’s still awake!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Elaine Spall, J Cosmo Newbery, Jamie Hutchinson, Jesse Levy, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, August 5th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A physicist known for her flash
Is bold, she is brassy and brash.
The men at the helm
She MUST overwhelm.
She loves to find Adams to smash!
Congratulations to both Craig Dykstra and Mark Kane who are tied for this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award:
Craig Dykstra’s Ode to The Man in Black:
“Despite all the money you flash
Your Czechoslovakian bash
Won’t be held here – that’s right,
Johnny C’s on tonight
So we won’t allow Czechs, only Cash.”
Mark Kane:
A star who was known for her flash,
Wore a dress which was barely a sash.
Displaying her flair,
While practically bare,
She showed off her ass with panache.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Bob Dvorak, Johanna Richmond, Scott Crowder, Craig Dykstra, Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty), and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Bob Dvorak:
A man who was known for his flash-
In-the-pan antics tried something brash —
Braising food in his shed.
It caught fire; he fled.
So what’s left? Just a pane in the ash.
Johanna Richmond:
A madam well known for her flash
Cut her price to a dollar per lash,
But it flopped – business waned:
Masochistics complained –
How’s a prick to feel pain with that slash?
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was known for her flash,
With Paul was a rock and roll smash.
She no longer sings,
She has other Wings,
And Heather Mills has all the cash.
Craig Dykstra:
On her webcam, her boobs she would flash
And her viewers would tip her with cash
But her cam worked the best
Pointed just at her chest
And away from her bushy mustache.
Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty):
A gal who was known for her flash
Pulled a stunt that was bound to abash.
“’Twas a wardrobe malfunction,”
She cooed with some unction,
Then winked as she raked in the cash.
Tim James:
A man who was known for his flash
Chose a park for his disrobe-and-dash.
But he tripped and he stumbled,
In poison oak tumbled.
The result, like his action, was rash.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mark Kane, Nan Reiner, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Sunday, July 29th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow who fell on his face
Would have undergone far less disgrace
‘Midst commuter-rush throng,
If his garter and thong
Hadn’t spilled from his attaché case.
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The graduate shielded his face
From the couple’s impassioned embrace.
As they sweated and thrusted
He said, quite disgusted,
“You win, Mom – I’ll get my own place.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Bob Dvorak, Jamie Hutchinson, Edmund Conti, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, and Kathy El-Assal. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Bob Dvorak:
A woman once fell on her face
Getting dressed for the party apace.
Her troubles began
With a spritz from a can;
Not cologne, but emergency mace.
Jamie Hutchinson:
A camper who fell on his face
When a bear from his privy gave chase
Had two cheeks in the ground
And two—white and round—
Facing up at the stars out in space.
Edmund Conti:
A woman who fell on her face
Was too drunk to acknowledge disgrace.
“What’s a lady to do”
She asked of the crew
“To get her a drink in this place.”
Phyllis Sterling Smith a//k/a Granny Smith:
A model who fell on her face,
From a swing, was too angry for grace.
“Damn that Fragonard guy!
Well, he swung me too high
Just so HE could paint more bits of lace!”
Kathy El-Assal:
While flirting he fell on his face,
Using slapstick to pick up the pace.
The view from down under
Showed booty to plunder:
No thong! Just a black hole in space.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Edmund Conti, Jamie Hutchinson, Johanna Richmond, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, July 22nd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A hooker was starting to rue
What she said to her John she would do.
“His kink’s not exciting.
He has me reciting
The writings of Albert Camus.”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A limericist started to rue
His endeavors the past week or two.
All that clever invention
Got nary a mention.
(Perhaps I should switch to haiku.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sally Franz, Johanna Richmond, Bob Dvorak, Mike Dailey, Scott Crowder, Patrick McKeon, and Craig Dykstra. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Sally Franz:
A woman was starting to rue
All the pounds she had gathered anew.
Seems she’d taken a cruise,
Grazed on chocolate and booze.
Now her scale read: one please, and not two.
Johanna Richmond:
Too many have gone on to rue
Delaying a trip to the loo.
Hear this, one and all:
When the urge comes to call
Piddle not; ‘taint a thing to poo poo!
Bob Dvorak:
A woman was starting to rue
That she’d told Bill the Builder, “I do.”
She found that male dolts
Comprehend nuts and bolts
But they don’t understand “gentle screw”.
Mike Dailey:
A critic was starting to rue
The play he was there to review.
The actors were nudist,
The language the crudest,
And his grandmother starred in it too.
Scott Crowder:
A fellow was starting to rue
His claims climate change is not true.
Now he feels like a jerk,
As he paddles to work
On what used to be I-92.
Patrick McKeon:
A woman was starting to rue
The shine that she put on her shoe.
With her skirt on in town
All the men would look down,
Enjoying the excellent view.
Craig Dykstra:
Un soir as I walked down la rue
A chat noir et blanc came in view.
I knelt down to pet it,
But soon I’d regret it.
Le chat? It was Pepé Le Pew!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Daniel Ari, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mike Dailey, Patrick McKeon, Sally Franz, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, July 15th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A parrot was proud of his skill.
He could learn any words you would drill.
But a problem occurred
When the man heard the bird
Say, “Come over when he’s at the mill.”
Congratulations to Robert Basler who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow was proud of his skill
At signing his name with a quill.
Said his friend, Paul Revere,
“Put your John Hancock here!
“Make it large, we’ve got pages to fill!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Edmund Conti, Bryan Coughlan, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Versebender:
A fellow was proud of his skill
Making moonshine inside of his still.
But his profits were few
In spite of his brew
‘Cause he’d swill every drop he’d distill.
Edmund Conti:
A fellow was proud of his skill
At giving his good wife a thrill.
Said she of his mountin’,
“I fear that your Fountain
Of Youth has gone over the hill.”
Bryan Coughlan:
A lawyer was proud of his skill,
Charged one pound of flesh for his bill.
That’s not just a saying.
His clients were paying.
So where there’s a weigh, there’s a will.
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow was proud of his skill
With the help of a little blue pill,
Till his paramour mumbled
A mouthful that humbled:
“It fills but the thrills, Will, are nil.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bryan Coughlan, Edmund Conti, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Basler, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Saturday, July 7th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A moody young deb with a ‘tude
Found regattas could lighten her mood:
“Strokes and coxswains galore –
Each will put in his oar –
One can be so deliciously crewed!”
Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A prudish young woman with ‘tude
Almost never was in the right mood.
Finding headaches passé
Her excuse was to say
“Doggie-style, when not yoga, is lewd.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jamie Hutchinson, Marla Turner, VerseBender, Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty, Edmund Conti, Jason Talbott, and Jane Auerbach. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jamie Hutchinson:
The sexy librarian’s ‘tude
Had a way of improving your mood:
You’d hand her a book
And receive such a look
That you felt both checked out and renewed.
Marla Turner a/k/a Uhave2laff:
A moody young woman with ‘tude
Had a curfew she really eschewed.
Her mother said, “Ten!”
She laughed and said, “Men?”
Then sat back as her mom came unglued.
Versebender:
A moody young woman with ‘tude
Would string along dude after dude.
She’d flirt and she’d tease
As if eager to please.
But the lady stayed coyly unscrewed.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty:
A moody young woman with ‘tude,
In line for the john, ballyhooed,
“Yo there, bride and your groom:
Get yourselves a real room.
There are others who want to be loo’d.”
Edmund Conti:
An earnest young poet with ‘tude
Said, I know I’m about to be screwed
For posting so late
On Madeleine’s slate.
My poem won’t be liked or be viewed.
Jason Talbott:
A moody young fellow with ‘tude
Once complained that he hated the food
Which was served at his school.
But the lunch lady’s rule:
You complain, you’ll be one hungry dude.
Jane Auerbach:
A moody male model with ‘tude
Was chagrined when the audience booed.
On a catwalk he’d tripped,
And his pants front had ripped,
Shredding padding on parts best unviewed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Edmund Conti, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Auerbach, Jason Talbott, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Marla Turner, Nan Reiner, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, July 1st, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was putting on airs
At society ballroom affairs:
“I’m seeing a gent
From the point-one percent;
It’s beneath me to date millionaires.”
Congratulations to Bob Dvorak who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was putting on airs
And padding her modest upstairs.
The guy on her date
Found this all out too late.
‘Twas a package of buyer B-wares.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Jason Talbott, Craig Dykstra, Patrick McKeon, Johanna Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Chris Doyle:
An attorney was putting on airs
To impress his new right-wing confrères:
“Screw the ACLU!
I’m preparing to sue
In high court for my right to arm bears!”
Jason Talbott:
A fellow was putting on airs
As a master of plumbing repairs,
But his ego was crushed
When the toilet was flushed
And the payload still flowed down the stairs.
Craig Dykstra:
A pro bowler was putting on airs:
“I love women – alone or in pairs.
When I see one I like
I can score with one strike,
And I’m quite good at picking up spares.”
Patrick McKeon:
A woman was putting on airs
As she slowly ascended the stairs
But her cover was blown
When the glass floor had shown
That the dress is quite all that she wears.
Johanna Richmond:
Jan Brewer is putting on airs.
It’s a win for the states, she declares!
The republican style
(Ignore facts with a smile)
Suits this queen of right-wing derrieres.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A hunter was putting on airs.
He’d shot moose and he’d wrestled with bears.
Then a tiny grey mouse
Appeared in his house
And he fled to the top of the stairs.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty
A fellow was putting on Airs,
But his wife flashed disparaging stares.
“Get the shoes if you like,
But you won’t play like Mike
Even if you buy fifty-nine pairs!”
Jamie Hutchinson:
Viagra is putting on airs
With old couples who dash up the stairs.
Why, the ladies, you’d think
Had grown a new pink
And the gents had developed new pairs!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Chris Doyle, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Patrick McKeon, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 24th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SisterAE who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who was never in doubt
Left his wife with a permanent pout.
Every secret he’d share,
And cute tips (like you care!)
On the things he knew nothing about.
Congratulations to Scott Crowder who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who is never in doubt,
Is a man we can all live without
Because he’ll refuse
To see other views,
And learn what real life is about.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathy El-Assal, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Patrick McKeon, VerseBender, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and Linda Fuller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kathy El-Assal:
When young she was never in doubt
About getting a surgical pout.
Now with lips like a fish
This actress’s wish
Is not to resemble a trout.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy was once never in doubt
That he just wasn’t really that stout,
Till he could not dislodge
Himself from his Dodge.
Triple A had to come pry him out.
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was never in doubt
Would pound on his bible and shout:
“If the Lord walked today
He would punish the gay.”
Then his elderly mother came out.
Versebender:
A man who was never in doubt
As to what this old world is about
Said, “Listen, my son
To Rule Number One:
Only money provides you with clout.”
David McCormick:
A Lim’ricker, never in doubt
That this week, his verse would win out,
Reached the end of line 3
BUT THEN ACCIDENT’LY
HIT CAPS LOCK AND WAS TOLD NOT TO SHOUT.
Linda Fuller:
A man who was tortured by doubt
Joined a cult and became quite devout.
He gave them his money,
Ate raw eggs with honey
And worshipped a virginal trout.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: David McCormick, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, SisterAE, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who is very astute
Knows that sometimes it’s best to stay mute.
If your girl asks on chat,
“Do you think that I’m fat?”
Just pretend that you have to reboot.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who was very astute
Had dress stores that made lots of loot.
The women would flock
To buy a new frock,
For his clerks were well hung and quite cute.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrick McKeon, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Scott Crowder, Jamie Hutchinson, Johanna Richmond, and VerseBender. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was very astute
At a concert for lute and for flute,
Knew the show would be bad
And the audience mad,
So he brought a large crate with bad fruit.
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A girl who was very astute
Was also alarmingly cute.
She’d use men for their money
By promising honey–
When promise time came she would scoot!
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was very astute
Received very little repute.
And because of her dress,
She is doomed to earn less
Than a swinging dick wearing a suit.
Jamie Hutchinson:
The trombonist was very astute,
Placed behind the young belle who played flute:
He worked his big slide
Without letting it ride
And “protected” the girl with a mute.
Johanna Richmond:
A gal who was hardly astute
But knew how to wink and look cute
Morphed from sweet Miss Wasilla
To Fox News Attila;
We all wish she’d stuck to the flute.
Versebender:
A man who was very astute
Found his checkbook just did not compute.
So he said to his wife,
“I can’t for my life
Figure what you have done with our loot.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, June 10th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A congressman shooting the breeze
With an intern said, “Look at this sleaze!
The press keeps on beating
My colleague for cheating —
Perhaps you should get off your knees.”
Congratulations to Bruce Niedt who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was shooting the breeze
With the man on the flying trapeze,
But her chat with her friend
Had a very sad end —
You can’t text while you hang from your knees.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Richard Schear, Jason Talbott, Linda Fuller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Richard Schear:
A fellow was shooting the breeze
With talk of the birds and the bees.
His wife overheard,
But said not a word,
For she knew he had no expertise!
Jason Talbott:
A woman was shooting the breeze,
Speaking French with her man overseas,
Never once disagreeing,
The main reason being:
Her boyfriend speaks only Chinese.
Linda Fuller:
A fellow was shooting the breeze
With a winsome young thing named Louise,
Whose looks were deceiving.
The chap yelled while leaving,
“You win some, I lose some, you tease!”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was shooting the breeze,
But he missed and shot down sev’ral trees.
Friends asked, “Man, are you blind
Or just out of your mind?”
He yelled, “Y’all heard me tell it to freeze!”
Colleen Murphy:
A woman was shooting the breeze,
Discussing the habits of bees.
“Imagine the scene
Where I could be queen
And bring all the men to their knees!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Daniel Ari, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Richard Schear, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow came forth to be wed
By a judge before whom he had pled
So often that now,
When asked for his vow,
By habit “Not guilty!” he said.
Congratulations to John Peter Larkin who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was planning to wed
And visions of bliss filled her head.
But it all came to naught
When her lover was caught
With the wife he’d neglected to shed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Richard Schear, Linda Fuller, Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was planning to wed
Till he found out they’d both been misled.
She said she was Doris.
Turned out she was Horace.
And he was an Alice, not Fred!
Richard Schear:
A fellow was planning to wed
A girl who was all in his head.
He thought, “No big deal
If she is unreal.
At least she won’t nag me in bed.”
Linda Fuller:
A woman was nervous to wed
A man with a nose cherry red.
Was it booze? Inflammation?
A freaky mutation?
Or should he be pulling a sled?
Elaine Spall:
A fellow was planning to wed
And pleased when his fiance said,
“I don’t think I can swap.
I just must be on top.”
Then he found out she bought a bunk bed.
Johanna Richmond:
Mister Romney will now try to wed
Mainstream views to extreme things he’s said,
But Ayn Randian mean
Is a bitch to scrub clean;
Ain’t no hosing that tea from his bed.
Robert Schechter:
A woman was planning to wed
A man who was thoroughly dead.
“The long and the short is
I love rigor mortis,”
She winked. “It’s so useful in bed.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Elaine Spall, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Richard Schear, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 10 Comments »
Sunday, May 27th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Robert Schechter who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A virgin who tried to persuade
His friend that last night he’d been laid
Answered this when his chum
Asked him, “Well, did she come?”:
“Of course she did! What’s more, she stayed!”
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow who tried to persuade
Me to guess at how much his wife weighed
Didn’t mention that she
Was right there behind me.
I got smacked. Guessed too high, I’m afraid.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jim Delaney, Mary Rosenthal Mansfield a/k/a Write Wing Conspiracy, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Craig Dykstra, Scott Crowder, and Bruce Niedt. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jim Delaney:
A fellow once tried to persuade
His wife that his train was delayed,
But his place on the map
(From his GPS app)
Gave the lie to his shabby charade.
Mary Mansfield:
A fellow had tried to persuade
His girlfriend to let him get laid,
But his kinky sex game
She found totally lame,
Now his ecstasy must be hand-made.
Phyllis Sterling Smith, a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman who tried to persuade
Bill collectors that bills had been paid
Sailed off on a cruise
Where they found out her ruse
So de-shipped her and left her to wade.
Craig Dykstra:
The drill sergeant tried to persuade
His young private that haste should be made.
“I don’t mean to shout,
But I need to point out
That’s the pin you threw, not the grenade!”
Scott Crowder:
A fellow who tried to persuade
His wife to lie back while he played,
Like a pirate and plunder,
Her treasures down under,
Was stopped by a Navel blockade.
Bruce Niedt:
Two fellows once tried to persuade
Their dates they were both macho-grade.
But the gals looked and sniggered
‘Cos they had them figgered –
One swaggered, the other sashayed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Craig Dykstra, Jason Talbott, Jim Delaney, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mary Mansfield, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Schechter, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Saturday, May 19th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal in an overpriced store
Got stopped as she walked out the door.
“What alerted you, sir?”
“Well, you’re wearing a fur,
And it’s 98 out, if not more.”
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The Prez bought an overpriced store
Of supplies for the Middle East war.
The dealers were sharks,
The bombs missed their marks,
And the Congress declared, “Buy some more!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elizabeth Civinskas a/k/a Mrs.Smeej, Johanna Richmond, Bruce Niedt, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Daniel Ari, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elizabeth Civinskas:
A gal in an overpriced store
Said, shocked to the depths of her core:
“With prices so high
“There should be a guy
“To carry me in from the door.”
Johanna Richmond:
A man in an overpriced store
Embarrassed his wife to the core:
While the one percent stared,
Indiscreetly he aired,
“JC Penney’s got dresses galore!”
Bruce Niedt:
A gal in an overpriced store
Found herself a nice Christian Dior,
But they thought her a lout,
And said, kicking her out,
“You pronounce it cou-TURE, not cou-TOR!”
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A gal in an overpriced store
Tried a dress on so tight that it tore.
Embarrassed to death
She started on meth,
And pounds! Well, she lost ‘em galore!
Daniel Ari:
A man in an overpriced store
Said, “Show me some more, I implore.
This past Mother’s Day
I forgot. Now I’ll pay
Restitution by Christian Dior.”
Colleen Murphy:
A gal in an overpriced store
Somehow slipped on a spot on the floor.
Her lawyer she dialed;
A lawsuit he filed,
Which led to an overpriced score.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Daniel Ari, Elizabeth Civinskas, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 14 Comments »
Saturday, May 12th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Craig Dyskstra who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Met a blonde in a bar with a tan;
As we danced, she purred “I’m Maryanne.”
But the bar’s in Key West
So the rest you’ll have guessed:
That my tan Maryanne was a man.
And further congratulations go to Craig Dykstra who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award, but for a different limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
My freckle-faced girl can’t get tan,
So she sits in the shade with a fan.
She finally learned
That she’d only get burned.
She’s a ginger, she’s not Mary Ann.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elaine Spall, John Peter Larkin, Linda Fuller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Robert Schechter, and Patrick McKeon. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elaine Spall:
A guy with a very deep tan
Caught his tie on a new celing fan.
Such a costly mistake:
‘Cause his colour was fake
He spray painted the walls as he span.
John Peter Larkin:
A guy with a very deep tan
Tried out to be Marlboro’s man.
But, because of his cough,
His name was crossed off,
And that was the end of his plan.
Linda Fuller:
A gal with a very deep tan
Ate nothing but oatmeal and bran.
She tie-died her clothing
And felt a strong loathing
For food that came out of a can.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy with a very dark tan
Had left his four wives in Iran.
To be very specific,
They’d been too prolific
And he couldn’t afford a big van.
Robert Schechter:
A gal with a very deep tan
Encountered a dirty old man,
So brash and obscene he
Asked, “‘Does your bikini
Hide bronze, or a lily white can?”
Patrick McKeon:
A gal with a very deep tan
Had a different last testament plan.
Since her skin just like leather
Would hold out all weather,
It was left to a tent making man.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, Elaine Spall, Jane Shelton Hoffman, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
