A Limerick Mistake (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow had made a mistake…*


A woman had made a mistake…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Limerick Mistake
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow had made a mistake:
Paid big bucks for a painting — a fake.
“This picture’s real good,”
He said, “Gothic, by Wood.”
But the tool in the pic was a rake.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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93 Responses to “A Limerick Mistake (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Rich D says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    All of his dates assets were fake
    If that wasn’t bad
    He knew he was had
    When “she” flashed him his trouser snake!

  2. Rich D says:

    A woman had made a mistake
    Her lover was kind of a flake
    While he was boinking
    he started his “oinking”
    She wished she had stayed in the cake!

  3. Rich D says:

    3rd line edit:

    A woman had made a mistake
    Her lover was kind of a flake
    When they were boinking
    he started his “oinking”
    She wished she had stayed in the cake!

  4. Rich D says:

    A voter had made a mistake
    and this one just took the cake
    He felt really bad
    about the darned chad
    that hung like a lawn service rake

  5. A fellow had made a mistake
    And wed a young girl on the ‘make’
    Though she left him quite poor
    What annoyed him much more
    Was that even her breasts had been fake.

  6. Kanchan Bhattacharya says:

    … Dan at Lake Michigan

    A fellow had made a mistake
    Hit the gas pedal, not the brake
    Now Lake Michigan
    Is home for late Dan
    And his widow celebrates- for God’s sake!

  7. Thanks for the visit ;)

  8. Craig says:

    He knew he had made a mistake
    When she slapped him down there by the lake.
    “If you want to make love
    To me, heaven’s above,”
    She said, “Next time make sure I’m awake!”

  9. brian miller says:

    a fellow had made a mistake
    just some boys playing at the lake
    gave it a try
    without asking why
    and found himself met by a snake

  10. John Sardo says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    Ate at Chick-fil-A for chrrssake
    When he opened his fries
    He glanced at cute eyes
    The kiss the guys shared took the cake.

    A woman had made a mistake
    Said of gals I do not partake
    When they met in a tryst
    The moment they kissed
    She stayed late and rose gayly awake.

  11. Diane Groothuis says:

    A model had made a mistake
    When she thought that her gown was opaque
    When she strode up the cat walk
    Oh boy did those cats talk
    When they saw what you might call cheese cake.

  12. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    When trying to use Shake ‘N Bake.
    The crumbs wouldn’t stick
    To his poor chicken pick
    ‘Cause the darn thing was still wide awake!

  13. scott says:

    A fellow had made a mistake,
    that only a moron would make.
    When a girl meets a guy,
    and offers him pie,
    don’t tell her you’d rather have cake.

  14. Patrick McKeon says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    In his plan for a duck breeding lake
    He went and bought two
    But his flock never grew
    Since you can’t mate a drake with a drake

  15. scott says:

    A woman had made a mistake,
    when having sex down by the lake.
    She cooed to her date,
    “You’re so long and straight.”
    He said “you’re on the parking brake.”

  16. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    And was told to “Jump in the Lake,”
    By his sweet bride to be
    Who’s now trying to flee
    After learning her diamond is fake.

  17. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    on a case he decided to take.
    For you see this clown
    was in Chinatown
    so his friend said, “Forget it, Jake.”

  18. Manicddaily says:

    A young gal had made a mistake–
    that hook-up had turned out a rake-
    thank god that protection
    saved her from infection
    with warts and much worse in his wake.

    This one a bit grim, Madeleine, will try to come up with something lighter. k.

  19. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    But he still decided to bake
    He had to get it done
    To enjoy the sun
    Hint, the chocolate was fake

  20. RJ Clarken says:

    A woman had made a mistake
    in trying to stay wide awake,
    since late games’ telecast
    left her bedtime long passed.
    For the gold, a night’s sleep she’d forsake.

  21. The waiter had made a mistake,
    Claimed the diner, beginning to quake:
    “Put back on your shirt,
    You impudent flirt!
    I ordered beefSTEAK, not beefCAKE!”

  22. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    In thinking an heirloom keepsake
    Was worth lots of bucks,
    But it wasn’t deluxe.
    Instead, it was merely a fake.

  23. RJ Clarken says:

    A woman had made a mistake
    In the timing of baking a cake.
    What seemed like half an hour
    For some eggs, butter, flour
    was instead half a day. Now? Cake wake.

  24. “Players”

    The woman had made a mistake,
    Knew her date, when she fell for the fake.
    And now the shrewd gent’s
    Behind her defense,
    Taking off for an easy fast break.

  25. A drunken man made a mistake
    By thinking the pool was a lake.
    The senseless chap peed
    Like a well-watered steed
    On top of his dazzled son Jake.

    A coconut made the mistake
    Of calling a farm boy a flake.
    Instead of defenses
    The boy used his senses
    And turned the nut into a shake.

    Elizabeth made a mistake
    When sleeping with pet owner Drake.
    She let out a gasp
    When she found in her grasp
    What she thought was his thing was a snake!

  26. Rich D says:

    The songbird, he made a mistake
    by tweeting a fugue in a quake
    it was his intention
    for thematic invention
    when the counterpoint started to shake

  27. Rich D says:

    Mr. Microphone made a mistake.
    His promise was all for show’s sake
    She got quite perturbed
    as she sat by the curb.
    His “pick you up later” was fake.

  28. Rich D says:

    A woman had made a mistake
    by not wrapping up Mr. Snake
    After some lovin’
    was one in the oven
    and thus her nickname, “Easy Bake”

  29. Diane Groothuis says:

    Egyptian lady made a mistake
    Didn’t know that an asp was a snake
    Put it close to her breast
    And you know the rest
    Or that’s what they said to the sheikh

  30. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman had made a mistake
    Though her mom warned, “Don’t marry a rake.”
    At her wedding she knew
    It was likely a clue
    When his mistress popped out of the cake.

  31. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    Politicians oft make sex mistakes
    By cheating on wives, slimeball snakes
    It seems most of them lie
    With their lips or their fly
    Which unzips and grows hard on tax breaks

  32. Brion Emde says:

    A couple had made a mistake
    An office liaison at break
    Their conference room antics
    Became much more frantic
    When they saw on the table a cake

  33. Johanna Richmond says:

    Old Mitt made a classic mistake
    When he stopped for a caj coffee break
    And declared, “Think these cookies
    Are the product of rookies —
    Can’t any of “you people” bake?”

  34. Granny Smith says:

    A hiker had made a mistake
    In the drink he had chosen to to slake
    A terrible thirst.
    He’d chosen the worst –
    With Glenlivet he fell in the lake.

  35. colonialist says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    When a tart he attempted to bake –
    She didn’t like shovin’
    Her ass in the oven,
    And shouted, ‘No! Let them eat cake!’

  36. colonialist says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    When he thought he was Sir Francis Drake,
    Or that he was pally
    With Sir Walter Raleigh –
    Transparently, this was opaque!

  37. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    Ann Romney made quite a mistake
    Saying ‘YOU people” was pretty opaque
    And her show horse’s dressing
    Did not help impressing
    ‘We the People’ don’t get horse tax breaks

    $77K’s the amount
    That the Romneys claimed for Ann’s white mount
    They’re so far removed – it
    would seem to behoove Mitt
    To know folks with small bank accounts

    This summer marks my discontent
    Romney’s run for elite one percent
    I’ve heard not one idea
    Just ‘TP’ diarrhea
    Thanks, Mad, for letting me vent!

  38. colonialist says:

    I really like the suggestion of amendment to:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    With a tart he attempted to bake –
    She didn’t like shovin’
    Her ass in the oven,
    And shouted, ‘No! Let them eat cake!’

    You make a great editor!

  39. MaryMary says:

    I knew I had made a mistake
    When I found out my spouse was a fake.
    At first I was sure
    he was merely a worm,
    But later I learned he’s a snake!

  40. Richard Fenwick says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    when he stepped off a dock at a lake.
    His final dry wish –
    clearly heard by the fish –
    was for someone to make him a drake.

  41. A witch doctor made a mistake,
    Was outed, and burned at the stake.
    Folks gathered and gawked,
    And a wisecracker squawked:
    “A mistake seems to’ve made ’im a steak!”

  42. John Larkin says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    with the pedals for gas and for brake.
    Said his wife in the back seat,
    “You’d have control of your feet
    if you only try being awake.”

  43. A fellow had made a mistake
    Starting too soon at the gate
    There’s more to Olympics
    Than medals and limp tricks
    He found out, but found out too late.

    (I laughed at Jamie Hutchison’s limerick above, and also at yours.)

  44. Johanna Richmond says:

    A gal made a ghastly mistake
    When she jumped out of bed, yelling, “Quake!!”
    Indeed ‘twas a chasm-
    Spawned somnolent spasm:
    Her beau, “call me thunder-cake Jake.”

  45. Al Hood says:

    A man always makes a mistake
    When his wife he tends to forsake
    For she’ll start to plan
    To find a new man
    For her sexual desires to slake.

  46. Craig says:

    The prisoner made a mistake
    Asking Nerd Girl to help with his break
    “Although this tastes terrific,
    Shoulda been more specific –
    There’s a PDF file in this cake!”

  47. Diane Groothuis says:

    Those Fairy Tales are a mistake
    Like feeding your kids too much cake
    How can that old shrew
    Fit those kids in a shoe?
    And wolves in red capes not look fake????

  48. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The thought that she’d made a mistake
    Hit a lover at climax’s quake:
    “Oh, God! What a stud!
    But this curdles my blood:
    I’m a succubus—he’s still awake!”

  49. Diane Groothuis says:

    That nerd girl who made a mistake
    PDF file in the cake
    Grabbed her computer
    Then got on her scooter
    And ditched the whole lot in the lake.

  50. Tim James says:

    The following is dedicated to my grandmother, who actually did this once.

    A woman had made a mistake
    Ere putting a pie in to bake.
    She committed one fault:
    Used not sugar, but salt.
    (It’ll come straight back up in a shake.)

  51. Veralynne says:

    A guy thought he’d made a mistake
    When he’d changed his name, Dirk to Drake.
    But gals he sure did attract
    ‘Twas his attitude–that’s the fact.
    Drake said, “That takes the proverbial cake!”

  52. Rallentanda says:

    He rarely made a mistake
    Except when he went on a date
    The light was so dim
    She had covered her chin
    To hide her adam’s apple
    Prominent but sedate

  53. Claudia says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    and found that life was a big fake
    he searched for the real
    and got this feel
    the answers lie all hidden in strawberry cake

    (just don’t take me serious…smiles)

  54. spot on rhythm!! not everyone realises that half the joy is in almost being able to sing it!! Great !

  55. Diane Groothuis says:

    That songbird who made a mistake
    Dropped poo on a barbecue steak
    The camper below
    Said “You’d better go
    Or you’ll trill at your own funeral wake”.

  56. Paige says:

    a fellow had made a mistake
    and devoured the neighbor’s cake
    now his wife had all she could take
    and threw his all his clothes in the lake!

  57. Veralynne says:

    A woman had made a mistake
    Choosing gin, of all things, to partake
    Way too much and got high,
    Nay, besotted, by and by.
    She drove herself into the lake.

  58. Veralynne says:

    Young pup knew he’d made a mistake
    Bouncing on old dog ’til he was awake
    Now, suspended in air
    By only neck hair
    All he could do was tremble and quake.

    But old dog had been dreaming
    Of his youth and his scheming
    To terrorize his elders and
    His behavior that was out of hand.
    As he held the pup he was beaming.

    He set down the pup and he smiled,
    “Ya know, Kid, ya got me beguiled.
    You remind me of me–
    I’m as proud as can be!”
    The old dog wasn’t the least bit riled.

  59. Johanna Richmond says:

    Some men shrug when they make a mistake;
    Others glare and growl “Give me a break!”
    Got yer cursers and whiners
    And DE-fense designers,
    But the fudger, well, HE takes the cake.

  60. Veralynne says:

    With a fellow there’d been a mistake
    When he acted the role of the rake.
    Not his fault, wrongly cast,
    Did his best, didn’t last.
    It was Arnold Stang for goodness’ sake!

  61. A fellow had made a mistake
    When he finished the last piece of cake.
    The wife saved for later.
    But his hunger grew greater
    Until he partook. Now: his wake.

  62. Johanna Richmond says:

    US rower says, “Make no mistake,
    I was flaccid out there by the lake!”
    He’s hard pressed to explain
    What his silk shorts constrain…
    Coxless Four? More like cox-eight I’d stake!

  63. Diane Groothuis says:

    Silly athlete made a mistake
    When he threw his flag into the lake
    Thought that the torch
    Was a light for his porch
    And the weight of it all made him ache.

  64. I swear it’s an honest mistake!
    I was driving (not really awake).
    You were going so slow,
    I was shouting, “Let’s go!”
    How was I s’posed to know you would brake?

  65. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The lim’ricker’s massive mistake:
    Not the well-measured verse he did make,
    But the lack of recall
    Of a trifle so small
    As the measure of what was at stake.

  66. Veralynne says:

    A woman had made a mistake
    She was sure that her poor heart would break
    She’d played a role (hard to get)
    ‘Stead of acting the coquette.
    Her loved one said, “Jump in the lake!”

    Her guy, too, had made a mistake
    He thought she’d give and he’d take
    No more fooling around,
    Just steady sex’s what he’d found
    But he learned she was quite opaque.

  67. rmp says:

    This fellow has made a mistake
    in thinking of me as a flake
    I know well of his games
    and the lies that he claims
    I’ll tweet of his tiny one eyed snake!

    (forgive me, never really written a limerick–the whole meter thing throws me off.)

  68. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The songbird who sang a mistake
    As his voice—and the windows—did break,
    Said, “It’s simply not right
    That I sing while in flight
    Till they paint Crystal Palace opaque.”

  69. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The anesthetist made a mistake
    And—you guessed it—the patient’s awake.
    But it gets even worse:
    The surgeon and nurse?—
    One’s drunk and the other’s on break.

  70. Mark Megson says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    He forgot to apply the handbrake
    On his brand new Rolls Royce
    And said in a loud voice
    “Bugger” as it rolled in the lake

  71. kaykuala says:

    A fellow had made a mistake
    That he was caught on the take
    Try as he might
    That he was right
    The giver was the one who had faked


  72. Diane Groothuis says:

    Dancer who made a mistake
    While up on her toes in “Swan Lake”
    Was let down by her tutu
    Which showed me and you too
    Ballerinas should not eat fruit cake.

  73. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    Did a princess make the mistake
    Of uttering, “Let them eat cake.”
    It was not Antoinette
    She preferred a baguette
    And I prefer Sprinkles cupcakes!

  74. Bruce Niedt says:

    A fellow who made a mistake,
    so upset that he started to shake,
    said, “That apple was yummy,
    but now our plight’s crummy –
    oh, why’d she believe in that snake?”

    Count Dracula made a mistake
    when he went on a late dinner break:
    “I will pay for this later,
    for I just asked he waiter
    for fries and a nice bloody steak!”

    A minister made a mistake
    when he ordered his church a huge cake.
    “The elders got woozy
    as soon as a floozy
    popped out with her big boobs to shake!”

  75. Bruce Niedt says:

    Typo edit on #2:

    Count Dracula made a mistake
    when he went on a late dinner break:
    “I will pay for this later,
    for I just asked the waiter
    for fries and a nice bloody steak!”

  76. hedgewitch says:

    Always enjoy scrolling though and ROFLing at these, Mad. Some doozies this time.

  77. Rachel says:

    Hehehe. I too love reading through these when i don’t have time to write one. This series is my favorite from the past month or so. :)

  78. Diane Groothuis says:

    Shoplifter made a mistake
    When she pocketed all she could take
    Door guard with a frown
    Said “Get your pants down!
    Oh hang on these watches are fake”.

  79. Rich D says:

    A woman had made a mistake
    when a lover had promised to slake
    her every desire
    which didn’t transpire
    to end it she opted to fake

  80. Diane Groothuis says:

    We Australians make a mistake
    When we think that “Lake Eyre” is a lake
    If you go there in Summer
    Oh what a bummer
    Land yacht race just makes your legs ache.

  81. Rich D says:

    A chef had decided to bake
    the world’s largest black forest cake
    it started as fun
    but grew past a ton
    it ended up filling a lake

  82. Veralynne says:

    A slight misstep, what a mistake.
    It wasn’t a sprain, but a break!
    There was nothing to do–
    Could barely get to the loo
    All she did was lie there and ache.

  83. Diane Groothuis says:

    Marie-Antoinette DID make mistake
    By saying “no bread give them cake”
    ‘Cos Louis fourteen
    Was decidedly mean
    And HE said “Non non give them Jake”

  84. Rich D says:

    A fella had made a mistake
    with the costume he opted to make
    His Haloween night
    was rather a fright
    it fell apart leaving him nake….. ed

  85. Diane Groothuis says:

    Mike Dailey made a mistake
    With his rhymes written out like a flake
    This strange repartee
    With weird poe – see
    Is more than poor Elaine can take.

  86. Rich D says:

    The Captain made a mistake
    It wasn’t Tennille in the lake
    He said, “Lord above,
    She’s got Muskrat Love,
    but both of them buoys are fake”

  87. Rich D says:

    A bluesman had made a mistake
    a trip to Chicago he take
    The jamming was good
    and he met Elwood
    but never went driving with Jake.

  88. Rich D says:

    The bluesman who made a mistake
    got a ride with The Bros by the lake
    One-oh-six, half pack
    Dark, sunglasses rack
    The wrecked cops were causing a quake

  89. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Lucky Crocky
    A postman who made a mistake
    Delivered a crocodile cake
    The vermin awoke
    Removed his fine cloak
    And happily jumped in the lake

  90. Mike Dailey says:

    I did forget to post these – hope it is not too late – – –

    I almost made a mistake
    And waited too long to partake
    If it isn’t too late
    And you don’t mind the wait
    This writer’s block I’d like to shake

    The poor fellow made a mistake
    Showed up at his own bloody wake
    To those there then he said
    Can’t you see I’m not dead
    But they all said give us a break

    We knew there had been a mistake
    But we wanted to have this clambake
    To show how we feel
    So what’s the big deal
    Now who wants a big piece of cake

    We knew there had been a mistake
    But we wanted to have this clambake
    To show how we feel
    So what’s the big deal
    Now who wants a big piece of cake

    We knew there had been a mistake
    But we wanted to have this clambake
    To show how we feel
    So what’s the big deal
    Now who wants a big piece of cake

    The windscreen was not a mistake
    If the car was of English make
    Here it’s called a windshield
    As Ms Kane has reviled
    It’s just not the English we spake

    This English girl made a mistake
    Reading 50 Shades on her lunch break
    She told her Mum “Blimy”
    This book is so slimy
    It’s more than a good girl can take

    For Elaine
    Her buoys were not a mistake
    They saved her life down at the lake
    They kept her afloat
    Till along came a boat
    Whose Captain was now wide awake

    He said now if we this Ms take
    The one bobbing out on the lake
    You must avert your eyes
    For from what I’d surmized
    She uncovered from chest to thighs

    Now ladies please make no mistake
    The captain – himself a beefcake
    Whose whole attitude
    Was there’s nothing like nude
    When it comes to a bobbin cupcake

    Elaine I guess you big mistake
    Was too little words give or take
    About undressed and buoys
    Which I found annoys
    And makes me compose like a flake

  91. Alissa says:

    A love-struck man made a mistake,
    took a femme out for wine and a steak.
    After the sup
    he invited her up
    but heard, “I don’t do sausage, but cake.”

  92. Johanna Richmond says:

    Was Mitt Romney’s slip merely mistake?
    A device to make sure we’re awake?
    Or was naming his pick
    “The next prez” a neat trick
    For a devil unleashing his snake?

  93. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone! This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners! Limerick of the Week 74

    But don’t worry! You can still have lots of limerick fun. How? A new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Explanation