Archive for the ‘Relationship Humor’ Category

My Confession

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

My Confession (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m married, but still like to date.
It’s good for my marriage — no, great!
Now don’t be perturbed
Or concerned or disturbed.
The fellow I date is my mate.

(You can find more of my marriage humor and verse here.)

UPDATE: I’ve just learned that May is Date Your Mate Month. Of course my husband Mark and I like to celebrate it all year round. :)

Quick Story & Other Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Friday, June 13th, 2008

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is furniture and furnishings. First, my limerick:

Quick Story
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Quick story,” my husband declares.
“It’s short — I’m not kidding,” he swears.
But I know that he’s wrong.
He’ll be witty, but long.
How I wish I could find us some chairs.

And now two haiku (senryu):

Dad climbs into bed.
His poodle growls in protest.
Their turf war begins.

Sixty-year-old chair,
still covered in plastic,
protected from life.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about furniture and furnishings. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “being told a story,” “pets,” and “father / find.”)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

     

1. SandyCarlson
2. Connie
3. Patricia (a/k/a Roswila)
4. Jade
5. Linda – Nickers and Ink
6. Noah the Great
7. Noah the Great
8. Bevie
9. Crafty Green poet
10. art predator

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your furniture and furnishings verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

UPDATE 2: World Storytelling Day falls on the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere.

Sleepless In Bayside (Limerick, Haiku, & Senryu Prompt)

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Sorry for my late posting. As I mentioned in my last post, I recently broke my wrist.

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is sleep and insomnia. First, my limerick:

Sleepless In Bayside
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband can catnap at will,
And my jealous reaction is shrill.
My insomnia’s bad —
Just can’t help getting mad,
Cuz his snores can be heard in Brazil.

And now my haiku or senryu:

I watch my husband
Sleep hour after hour.
What is his secret?

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about sleep and insomnia. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “catnap, “my nights” and “when I watch you.”)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants  

1. gautami tripathy
2. lissa
3. Granny Smith
4. Crafty Green Poet
5. Bevie
6. Noah the Great
7. Noah the Great
8. Bevie
9. Mary’s Madness
10. art predator
11. Connie

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your sleep and insomnia verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

The Poetry Of Dating (Limerick & Haiku Prompt — through June 5th)

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is dates and dating. First, my limerick:

The gal was enjoying her date
Till her escort became quite irate.
He assaulted a waiter,
Then said, “See ya later.”
I suppose it was something he ate.

And now my dating-related haiku:

His seeing eye dog
Led the man to her table:
A double blind date.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about dates and dating. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have two weeks to post it.

(Note: My limerick was inspired in part by Sunday Scribblings’ “quitting” prompt.)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants  

1. Sherry
2. sister AE
3. Crafty Green Poet (Over 40 Shades)
4. Linda – Nickers and Ink
5. Lilibeth
6. lissa
7. Noah the Great
8. Noah the Great
9. Granny Smith
10. Connie
11. Bevie
12. Felix Morgenstern

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your dating verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Ode To An Absent-Minded Husband

Monday, May 5th, 2008

Ode To An Absent-Minded Husband
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your umbrella can not have gone far.
Can’t believe how forgetful you are!
If we still had each cent
On umbrellas you’ve spent,
We’d have money to buy a new car.

Thanks to Simply Snickers for the “umbrella” prompt, Weekend Wordsmith for the “torrential rain” prompt, and Sunday Scribblings for its “family” prompt.

UPDATE: I’ve just learned that National Umbrella Day is celebrated yearly on February 10th.

Crazy Aunts and Other Mad Relatives (Limerick & Haiku Prompt through April 17th)

Friday, April 4th, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is relatives. (Thanks to Read Write Poem’s aunt prompt, which inspired this broader theme including any family member.) First, my limerick:

Crazy Aunts
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Crazy aunt in your fam’ly? Let’s see:
Does she scoff at conventions with glee?
Fail at acting her age?
Give advice strangely sage?
In my fam’ly, the crazy aunt’s me.

And now my haiku:

He made an offer
That I just could not refuse:
Marital bliss.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about a relative. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have two whole weeks!  Why? Because I still haven’t started my tax return.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

 

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
        

1. sister AE
2. Xboxwife
3. paisley
4. Tumblewords
5. Tiel Aisha Ansari
6. Noah the Great

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your family-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

UPDATE 2: I’ve just learned that July 26 is Aunt and Uncle’s Day.

Rejected Apology (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

This week’s challenge over at 3WW is to write something that uses these three words: Apology, Consider, and Distant. Here’s my limerick:

Rejected Apology
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your apology isn’t enough.
You always act distant and gruff.
You never consider
My feelings.  I’m bitter.
So stuff it.  Enough with your guff!

And speaking of challenges, there’s still time to participate in my time-themed poetry prompt.

Romance — A Foreign Concept? (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008

Romance — A Foreign Concept?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Instead of your long-winded rants,”
Says the gal, “I’d prefer some romance.”
Then her husband replies
With a glint in his eyes:
“Tell me, where do you think you are — France?”

(Inspired by the “Romance” prompt over at Totally Optional Prompts. And speaking of prompts, there’s still time to give my “bad jobs” prompt a try.)

Miss Dating? Not Me! (Limerick)

Friday, January 11th, 2008

Miss Dating? Not me!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Before I was married I dated
Hardly ever, cause dating I hated.
Then I met hubby Mark,
Which created a spark.
Elated, we dated and mated.

(For more date-related poems, visit Sunday Scribblings)

NOTE: If you like to write limericks or haiku, give my new poetry prompt a try.  My latest topic is right on the money.

Lies And Deception (Limerick and Haiku Prompt 5)

Friday, January 4th, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is lies and deception. First, my limerick: 

“Your excuse simply can’t be believed.
You’re a liar! I feel quite deceived,”
Said the gal, as she wept,
To her lover, who’d slept
With her mother. (I guess she was peeved.)

And now, my haiku:

People who maintain
That they are always honest
Are surely lying.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about lies and deception. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: April 23 is Lover’s Day

Two Haiku

Monday, December 31st, 2007

When prompted to use the words curious, eventually, and shower in a poem, this haiku more or less wrote itself:

I am curious:
Will you eventually
Shower?  I hope so.

And here’s another haiku, this one inspired by an earth-themed prompt:

There’s no earthly way
I’d ever vote for global
Warming deniers.

Love At First Sight (Limerick and Haiku Prompt 3)

Friday, December 21st, 2007

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is love at first sight or, if you prefer, simply love. Here’s my love at first sight limerick: 

Amoré Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane

‘Twas amoré (yes, love) at first sight
When I met my dear husband that night.
We’ve been wed thirty years—
So much laughter, some tears.
Mark, my husband, remains Mr. Right. 

And here’s my haiku on the same theme:

I laughed at the thought
Of love at first sight, but our
Love had the last laugh.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about love at first sight or some other love-related topic. When you’ve posted your poem, please return here and add a direct link to your love verse.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

The Definitive Bad Date

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

The Definitive Bad Date (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A salty young gal is enraged
When she learns that her date is engaged,
So she curses the fellow—
Spews hate with a bellow,
Then shoots. Guess her anger ain’t staged.

NOTE: This limerick was loosely inspired by the inaugural edition of Totally Optional Prompts, which is an outgrowth of the late, lamented Poetry Thursday.

(You can find more of my dating humor here.)

Taking Our Marriage’s Temperature

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

Taking Our Marriage’s Temperature
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband and I can agree
On most everything—“a” straight through “z”.
But as husband and wife
We suffer much strife
Over temp settings—heat and AC.

(We argue over our TV’s remote control too, but it refuses to rhyme.)

Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.

The Five-Second What???

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

I guess I must have led a very sheltered existence.  Why do I say that? Because I’d never heard the phrase “five-second rule” until my husband Mark used it as an excuse to eat some treat he’d just dropped on the floor.  (And yes, we’re still married.)

I naively assumed that Mark was the only person crazy enough to think germs politely wait five seconds before they attach themselves to goodies. But apparently lots of people (mostly men, I’m assuming) believe that if you drop food on the floor and pick it up really, really fast, it’s safe to eat. 

In fact, the belief’s so widespread that some scientists (who apparently didn’t have anything better to do with their time) actually studied the issue. And yes, they concluded that the rule isn’t valid. (Did you really need me — or the scientists — to tell you that?)

This leads to my latest limerick, in which I use the word date instead of husband to protect the guilty … and because husband has too many damned syllables:  

The Five-Second What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My date dropped dessert on the dirt.
“Please don’t eat it,” I managed to blurt,
As he started to chew
On his now blackened goo,
Saying “5-second rule — it won’t hurt.”

=========

(You can find more of my marriage humor here and more of my food humor here.)

A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys

Wednesday, July 4th, 2007

A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys  (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Introducing your gal to your mom?
Are you worried your intro will bomb?
Well here’s some advice
So the meeting goes nice:
First tell her your date’s name is Tom.

Married To Money

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

Married To Money
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash:
When his daughter was wed
He paid eight bucks a head,
So no band, booze, or blooms — only hash.

I have lots more money humor here.  And don’t forget to enter my money-themed limerick contest with money prizes. Okay, not a lot of money, but still…

Bugged By Mosquitoes

Thursday, May 31st, 2007

Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mosquitoes are driving me mad.
Seems a zillion are biting me—bad!
Sprays and lotions don’t work;
They keep chomping and lurk,
While ignoring my husband—the cad!

Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.

No Sweat Divorce

Monday, May 21st, 2007

No Sweat Divorce (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“My husband and I are estranged,”
Said the wife, “’cause he acts so deranged.
His behavior’s aberrant
And vexingly errant.
I wish he could just be exchanged.”  

(Can you imagine if divorce were as easy as shopping? And no, this isn’t autobiographical … although I do enjoying poking fun at my wonderful husband from time to time.)

Mother’s Day Limerick Contest … With Money Prizes (Updated: Prize Money Increase)

Sunday, April 29th, 2007

My spring limerick contest was such a success, I’ve decided to hold limerick contests regularly.  And it’s time for another one. 

So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related to the subject of mothers and post it here in a comment to this post no later than Saturday, May 12, 2007.  I’ll announce the winners on Mother’s Day, May 13, 2007.

The first prize will be $25.  The second prize will be $10.  Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.

So, what exactly is a limerick?  It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)

I’m looking forward to reading your entries!

UPDATE: The prize money has just doubled, thanks to a matching funds contest sponsorship by Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet. Thanks to Billy’s generosity,  there now will be $50 in first prize money and $20 in second prize money. Very cool, Billy!

UPDATE 2: This contest is now over, and the winners list and winning entries are posted here. Thanks for your wonderful entries, and stay tuned — another limerick contest is coming soon.