Archive for the ‘Limerick Writing Contest’ Category
Sunday, November 25th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Franks, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man was disturbed by a line
On a mirror– cocaine, ground up fine.
“It’s Satan’s own powder.”
His tirade grew louder:
“It’s nothing to sniff at, you swine!”
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
I find I’m disturbed by the line,
“Your troubles are yours and not mine.”
For the truth is that if
We do fall off the “cliff,”
Our problems will all intertwine.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jamie Hutchinson, Jim Sullivan, Craig Dykstra, Kathy El-Assal, Robert Schechter, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jamie Hutchinson:
His moves breached her Maginot Line
As he bid her, “Surrender, you’re mine.”
But her forces regrouped
And advanced as she whooped:
“The Allies are crossing the Rhine!”
Jim Sullivan:
A fish had encountered a line.
It seemed to the creature a sign
That was sent from Above.
“This worm? From God’s love!
I must seize, not deny, the Divine!”
Craig Dykstra:
The villainess hired from a line
Evil henchmen until she had nine.
When she reached number ten
Sent him back home again
Saying “You sir, are no fiend of mine.”
Kathy El-Assal:
Some socialites cross the fine line
And trip on a media mine.
They explode on the scene
When pundits prove mean
And their climbing days hit a decline.
Robert Schechter:
A man was disturbed by a line
That he read by the famed Gertrude Stein.
“A rose is a rose
Is a rose? Heaven knows,
To say it just twice would be fine!”
David McCormick:
Burns’ old teacher, disturbed by a line
She’d read in his verse, ‘Auld Lang Syne’
Sighed, “Isn’t it rotten?
‘Forgot’ for ‘forgotten’!
“And we all thought that lad would do fine!”
Tim James:
A man was disturbed by a line
Of chorus girls, not very fine.
He found their resounding
Loud stomping and pounding
Exceedingly elephantine.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, David Franks, David McCormick, Jamie Hutchinson, Jim Sullivan, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Sunday, November 18th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal was disturbed by a line …*
or
A man was disturbed by a line …*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Lining Up For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal was disturbed by a line
That stretched round the block to buy wine.
“Beaujolais Très Nouveau”
Read the sign. She said, “No!
I need grapes fully weaned from the vine.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Beaujolais Nouveau, Competition Limerick, Drinking Humor, Grapes Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Queues Humor, Wine & Spirits, Wine Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 56 Comments »
Sunday, November 18th, 2012
I found reading your entries a treat
And picking the winners a feat.
But judge them I must,
Or I’m bound to be trussed
Up for failing to pick the elite.
And so … it’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Two cannibals fought o’er a treat:
A settler who died in the heat.
The one who would win
Got the head to the shin,
While the loser accepted de feet.
And congratulations once again to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for the same limerick, which received the most Facebook “likes.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Jamie Hutchinson, Mark Mironer, Jane Hawes a/k/a Oudiva, Johanna Richmond, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves,
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, and Scott Crowder. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kirk Miller:
A fellow would frequently treat
His wife to an ironing feat.
He would start at the dawn;
All day long he’d “press” on.
He’d work ’til the job was com-pleat.
Jamie Hutchinson:
They’d warned him: One Rice Krispie treat
And you’re hopelessly stuck on the sweet.
As he started to chew
The snap-crackle-pop goo,
The abstract became the concrete.
Mark Mironer:
A woman would frequently treat
Dave Petraeus to sex in his suite.
But his penchant for play
Meant goodbye, CIA
When he had to give up on deceit.
Jane Hawes a/k/a Oudiva:
A fellow would frequently treat
Himself to a meal of fine meat.
One time on a dare
He took his lamb rare,
But gagged when it started to bleat!
Johanna Richmond:
Said the man while preparing a treat
For his wife who enjoyed a good sweet:
“To make things enticing
Let’s first spread the icing.
Then you lick the beater; I’ll beat.”
David McCormick:
A woman would frequently treat
E D in her men with red meat;
Then she’d strip to the waist …
Sorry folks, for good taste,
This limerick must stay incomplete.
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman would frequently treat
Human “friends” as the friends to delete.
Frequent trips to the vet’s
Showed her preference for pets,
And she learned how to meow, bark, and tweet.
Scott Crowder:
A fellow would frequently treat,
Himself to the odd and off-beat.
This Renaissance man
Liked his wine in a can,
And his favorite Beatle was Pete.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, David McCormick, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Hawes, Johanna Richmond, Judging Humor, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mark Mironer, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (88)
Sunday, November 11th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow would frequently treat…*
or
A woman would frequently treat…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Treat
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow would frequently treat
His friends to tall tales from a tweet.
He assumed Twitter’s feed
Was a factual read,
But its myth-spreading speed can’t be beat.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Behavior Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Rumors Humor, Social Media Poetry, Tall Tales, Tweets Limerick, Twitter Verse, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Social Media Humor, Twitter Humor | 81 Comments »
Sunday, November 11th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A farmer would frequently quote
Romantic Age poets of note.
He’d whisper sweet verses
In ears large as purses
Whenever seducing his shoat.
Congratulations to Daisy Mae Simon, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
An atheist needed a quote
For her lovemaking joy to connote.
“Oh God” didn’t work.
‘Twas a term she did shirk.
But “Oh Science” felt far too remote.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Scott Crowder, Johanna Richmond, Jesse Levy, Colleen Murphy, Tim James, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Craig Dykstra:
Downtown there’s a guy who would quote
From the bible – he’d preach and emote.
He’d still be there today
But they took him away
Since he had on no pants ‘neath his coat.
Scott Crowder
A fellow would frequently quote
A line he remembered by rote.
To the girls he would quip,
“I’ll go down with the ship,
Or at least with the man in the boat.”
Johanna Richmond:
It’s hard not to sound off and quote
All the brain rot that sunk Romney’s boat,
Or to shout,”You unsightly
Extremist nuts, bite me!”
But I’m far too enlightened to gloat.
Jesse Levy:
A fellow would frequently quote
A bird with a shiny black coat.
After tapping the door
He would say, “Nevermore.”
Twas the best poem Poe ever wrote.
Colleen Murphy:
A hooker would frequently quote
Her regular rate and she’d gloat:
“I charge a top dollar
To make a man holler.
It’s extra for rocking his boat!”
Tim James:
On the TV the pollsters all quote
Statistics regarding the vote.
It’s not that I’d rather
Give heed to their blather;
It’s just I can’t find the remote.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A pastor would constantly quote
From a textbook that he himself wrote
And just happened to sell.
“It will save you from hell!”
Even better it paid for his boat.
Jamie Hutchinson:
“I’m on deadline, just gimme a quote,”
Wasn’t said to a person of note
By a writer of news,
But instead to the muse
By a poet who couldn’t emote.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, Daisy Mae Simon, Daniel Ari, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jesse Levy, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, November 4th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow would frequently quote…*
or
A woman would frequently quote…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Quotable Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow would frequently quote
Homer’s Odyssey, lines learned by rote.
His aim was to show
He’s a man in the know.
But alas, he seemed just off the boat.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Epic Poems, Greek Poetry, Homer, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Literary Limerick, Memorization, Naiveté, Poetry & Prompts, Quotations, The Odyssey, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 76 Comments »
Sunday, November 4th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal who was rather a nut,
Had put a tattoo on her butt.
“If sex is your goal
Please use other hole,
This entrance will always stay shut.”
Congratulations to both Bruce Niedt and Jamie Hutchinson, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks:
Bruce Niedt:
A golfer who’s rather a nut
Thinks he CAN make the PGA cut.
He believes he’s Jack Nicklaus,
But that’s just ridic’lous,
‘Cos all he can play is “putt-putt”!
Jamie Hutchinson:
A surgeon considered a nut
Took a scalpel and started to cut.
The patient, a bass:
“Get me out of this place!
Does the doc prefer tenors, or what?”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Schechter, Johanna Richmond, Colleen Murphy, and Jane Shelton Hoffman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Robert Schechter:
A man who was rather a nut
For a backside that tended to jut
Said, “I think of J-Lo
As wearing a halo
On her fine callipygian butt.”
Johanna Richmond:
A gal who was rather a nut,
Gave her meter permission to strut,
But lost count of the times
She admonished her rhymes
To stop begging to couple with slut.
Colleen Murphy:
A quarterback known as a nut
Took pleasure when hollering, “Hut!”
We all noticed he’d smile
When his hands rest awhile
On top of his big center’s butt.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy who was rather a nut
Would point at the size of his gut.
He would laugh and then shrug,
“There’s more me to hug.”
“But no room on his lap,” sighed his mutt.
Colleen Murphy:
A writer well-known as a nut
Would write with her bedroom door shut.
Her agent inquired
Just what had transpired
To put out such best-selling smut!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, October 28th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was rather a nut…*
or
A gal who was rather a nut…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Nutty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was rather a nut
Held a broad definition of smut:
With standards unbending,
He’d freak when attending
A film, often shouting out “Cut!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Behavior Humor, Competition Limerick, Film Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Mental Health Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Porn Humor, Smut Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 75 Comments »
Sunday, October 28th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman would frequently pose
In very undignified clothes.
On her feet she wore spats,
On her head she wore hats,
And the parts in between simply froze.
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The nudists would frequently pose
In group shots without any clothes.
But the photos they’d crop,
Leave the waist to the top
To hide any parts that arose.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, Craig Dykstra, Scott Crowder, Phyllis Reinhard, Jazzbumpa, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Johanna Richmond:
It was feared an art teacher might pose
A threat to her junior van Goghs
When she cried out, “Alright,
One more bad Starry Night
And I’ll cut off your ear AND your nose!”
Craig Dykstra:
So this model is striking a pose.
How she holds so still, God only knows.
Never moving an inch
So I gave her a pinch …
And found out we’re in Madame Tussaud’s.
Scott Crowder:
A fellow would frequently pose,
For wifey, without any clothes.
And to make him look hung,
As when he was young,
She’d zoom in as far as it goes.
Phyllis Reinhard:
Sweet Gertrude would frequently pose
A question — what’s verse and what’s prose?
She lifted her Stein
And declared both were fine,
Since “a rose is a rose is a rose.”
JazzBumpa:
A woman would frequently pose
At my studio, sans all her clothes.
I quite liked the view;
When the painting was through
We discussed the first thing that arose.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
Some Democrats wanted to pose
As the One Percent’s populist foes,
Until revelations
That all their donations
Were siphoned from rich CEOs.
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A mermaid would frequently pose
On a rock. In the winter, she froze.
“They think it is chipper
That I have a flipper.
I would rather have toes and warm clothes!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brenda Bryant, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Jazzbumpa, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Reinhard, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, October 21st, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman would frequently pose…*
or
A fellow would frequently pose…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Pose
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A critic would frequently pose
A challenge to musical shows:
With his venom so vast,
Closing night would come fast.
His view: Not just anything goes.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Broadway Musicals, Criticism Humor, Critics Humor, Limerick Contest, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Theater Reviews, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 82 Comments »
Sunday, October 21st, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who was very refined
Served Chianti to guests as they dined.
“If our friendship gets strained,”
Mr. Lector explained,
“You may give me a piece of your mind.”
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The duchess was not so refined
As to say that she’d terribly mind
If her manservant came
In the front door—no shame—
While the duke himself entered behind.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Chris Doyle, Colleen Murphy, and Patience (of Patience and the Prodigal.) Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
A guy who was not too refined
Took a friend out to hunt and unwind.
He took aim at a deer,
Capped his friend in the rear.
(He shot the wrong version of hind.)
Bob Dvorak:
A gal who was very refined
Took her pal up the hill, where she pined,
“I’ve no notions of guilt;
Do with me what thou wilt.
From this angle I’m highly inclined.”
Craig Dykstra:
A teacher was not too refined
And had quite a lascivious mind.
He used to be trusted
But finally got busted
For feeling a little behind.
Chris Doyle:
A woman who’s very refined
Is inclined to be less so when wined.
With sufficient Chablis,
She might even agree
To a Gypsy Rose Lee bump and grind.
Colleen Murphy:
A woman, both rich and refined,
Toward those with less fortune was blind.
But Karma made sure
In time she’d grow poor,
So others could pay her no mind.
Patience: (of Patience and the Prodigal)
A gal who was very refined
Refused to break wind when she dined.
The gas overloaded,
And then she exploded.
Her manners were all they could find!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Chris Doyle, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, Jamie Hutchinson, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patience, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, October 14th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was very refined…*
or
A man who was very refined…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Refined Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was very refined
Found herself in a terrible bind.
She’d been tied up in knots
By two trumpeting Scots.
Her muted response: “Do you mind?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Behavior Humor, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Refinement, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 106 Comments »
Sunday, October 14th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal was involved in a feud
With a horsey guy, one who had wooed
Her to be his new bride.
She had snorted, replied
“I would rather be bridled and shoed!”
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
An actress was ready to feud.
Her play had been badly reviewed.
So she added a song.
It was detailed and long,
Giving names of the critics she’d screwed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jamie Hutchinson, Don Fitzpatrick, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jamie Hutchinson:
Two neighbors fell into a feud
When up came a bubblin’ crude
On the property line.
“It’s all mine!”—”No, it’s mine!”
Ask Iraq and Kuwait what ensued.
Don Fitzpatrick:
A man was involved in a feud
With his neighbours who said he was lewd
For displaying they say
A hard-on each day,
Whilst parading around in the nude.
Johanna Richmond:
Mitt Romney’s concerned that our feud
With Russia’s been far too subdued.
(When lost in the thicket,
Nostalgia’s the ticket.)
The cold war is history, dude!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Don Fitzpatrick, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Saturday, October 6th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man was involved in a feud…*
or
A gal was involved in a feud…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Feud
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A shrink was involved in a feud
With his neighbors, and ended up sued.
On his problem he dwelled,
As lawyers withheld
Any aid, saying “Not in the mood!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Feud, Lawsuit Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick Contest, Litigation Poem, Mood Humor, Neighbors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Psychiatry Humor, Psychology Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Neighbors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 59 Comments »
Saturday, October 6th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Carolyn Henly, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A waitress trés prone to dismay
Had a beautiful tray to display.
But she tripped on a peel,
Went head over heel,
And ended up wholly distrait.
Congratulations to Jesse Levy who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow expressed his dismay
At having to work every day.
His doctor said stress
Would harm him much less
If he sat back and lit up a jay.
Congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Daniel Ari, RJ Clarken, Johanna Richmond, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Marty McCullen, John Sardo, and Bruce Niedt. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Daniel Ari:
A fellow displayed his dismay:
“I came all this way to the Bay.
But I can’t understand
The lay of the land
That they said was the land of the lay.”
RJ Clarken:
A clergyman showed his dismay
At his obvious naiveté
Since a ‘lady’ he met
Conned him. Now deep in debt,
He’s much wiser to cute Birds of Pray.
Johanna Richmond:
Giving birth, she displayed her dismay
When it seemed she’d been pushing all day.
“I don’t want to be snipped!”
“That’s OK,” hubby quipped.
“When I need you I’ll take the back way.”
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A woman displayed her dismay.
Her hotel john had just a bidet!
Trepidatious at first,
Though she thought she might burst,
She tried it and stayed there all day!
Marty McCullen:
A fellow displayed his dismay
At why all his hair had turned gray.
He wasn’t that old,
Or so he was told,
But hair seems to have the last say.
John Sardo:
A fellow betrayed his dismay
At his wife who would quickly display
Her elegant charms
In friends’ eager arms:
He said, “Honey, at least make them pay.”
Bruce Niedt:
Young Hester displayed her dismay
That her rep in Sex Ed could hold sway.
“They think that I’m sultry.
Inured in adult’ry –
It’s a class where I don’t want an ‘A’.”
And congratulations to Johanna Richmond and Craig Dykstra who jointly win this special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow displays his dismay
With a grunt and a “what can I say?”
A woman, however,
Is likely to sever
Your schnitzel and let you decay.
Craig Dykstra:
As a guy, I express my dismay
At the lim’rick I read here today.
Though YOU think it’s clever
That schnitzel you sever
Is an image that won’t go away!
Johanna Richmond:
I’m so sorry I caused you dismay.
It was meant in a figur’tive way:
If it festers, why dance?
Just go straight for the lance —
There’s no need for a verbal ballet.
But you’re right; I have gotten too loose;
Cutting words can still feel like abuse.
Please forget what I said;
Insert this jab instead:
“A swift kick to your cocky caboose.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Carolyn Henly, Craig Dykstra, Daniel Ari, Jesse Levy, Johanna Richmond, John Sardo, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Marty McCullen, RJ Clarken, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 8 Comments »
Sunday, September 30th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman displayed her dismay…*
or
A fellow displayed his dismay…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Dismay
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman displayed her dismay
At her pug, who refused to obey.
She’d hound him and bray,
Till her pet ran away.
‘Tis no wonder her dog would not stay.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Dog Limerick, Dog Verse, Limerick Contest, Pet Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Pug Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 80 Comments »
Sunday, September 30th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A Quaker gal just wouldn’t whine
When a fellow behaved like a swine.
There was no anger flaring
And — goodness! — no swearing
Though she murmured, quite clearly, “Up thine.”
Congratulations to Scott Crowder, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow who tended to whine
To his wife if the house didn’t shine
Pushed her over the edge.
Now his breath smells like Pledge,
And his ass has a fresh scent of pine.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Karin Gustafson a/k/a Manicddaily, Mike Dinicola a/k/a Mr. Lim, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Karin Gustafson a/k/a Manicddaily:
A fellow who tended to whine
Hooked a rather big fish on his line.
But he groaned to his rod
That it’s only a scrod
And wasn’t precooked in white wine.
Mike Dinicola a/k/a Mr. Lim:
A fellow who tended to whine
Remarked while astride the Date Line,
“What happens to ‘when’
If I’m here ‘now’ and ‘then’
And will yester-today e’er combine?”
Johanna Richmond:
An accountant who tended to whine
Claimed she only liked sex while supine.
Her turnover rate
Deflated her mate
Whose dream was a tight bottom line.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Johanna Richmond, Karin Gustafson a/k/a Manicddaily, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mike Dinicola a/k/a Mr. Lim, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, September 23rd, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who tended to whine…*
or
A woman who tended to whine…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Whiny Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who tended to whine
Was annoyed by a long movie line.
“My back hurts,” he griped.
“Pipe down,” someone sniped,
“Or I’ll gladly align your damn spine.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Back Pain, Behavior Humor, Complaining, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Standing On Line, Whiners, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 81 Comments »
Sunday, September 23rd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow was trying his hand
At arranging a hot one-night stand.
Said the lady: “Reports are,
Your Calvin Klein shorts are,
At best, insufficiently manned.”
Congratulations to Scott Crowder, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow was trying his hand
At teaching his dog a command.
But he slurred just a bit,
And when he said “Sit,”
He got a bit more than he planned.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Tim James, Brendan Beary, Richard Diakun, Carolyn Henly, and John Peter Larkin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Craig Dykstra:
A friend of mine once tried his hand
Selling frozen treats down by the sand.
But the end of the summer
Killed business – a bummer!
Last night it was Custard’s Last Stand.
Tim James:
A fellow was trying his hand
At building a nudie bar brand.
But he made too few hires
For clients’ desires;
Supply was outstripped by demand.
Brendan Beary:
A fellow was trying his hand
On the Tokyo stage, but was canned —
The director yelled, “Cut!”
Then reproached him with, “What
Part of Noh do you not understand?”
Richard Diakun:
The lady again played her hand,
And this time the pot was a grand.
She got quite a rush
As she showed off her flush.
Her cleavage distracted as planned.
Carolyn Henly:
A poet was trying her hand
At a lim’rick that wouldn’t get panned.
The rhymes were a breeze;
She contrived them with ease.
If only the doggone-son-of-a-jumping-frog last line had scanned.
John Peter Larkin:
A fellow was trying his hand
At making his member expand.
It worked rather well.
He said, “This is swell
To know I can grow on-demand.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brendan Beary, Carolyn Henly, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Richard Diakun, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, September 16th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying his hand …*
or
A woman was trying her hand …*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Trying Your Hand At Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A baker was trying his hand
At launching a rock and roll band.
He played the guitar,
And he hoped to go far.
But alas all his gig dates were panned.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Guitar, Limerick Contest, Music Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Rock & Roll, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 84 Comments »
