Limerick of the Week (86)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A gal who was rather a nut,
Had put a tattoo on her butt.
“If sex is your goal
Please use other hole,
This entrance will always stay shut.”

Congratulations to both Bruce Niedt and Jamie Hutchinson, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks:

Bruce Niedt:

A golfer who’s rather a nut
Thinks he CAN make the PGA cut.
He believes he’s Jack Nicklaus,
But that’s just ridic’lous,
‘Cos all he can play is “putt-putt”!

Jamie Hutchinson:

A surgeon considered a nut
Took a scalpel and started to cut.
The patient, a bass:
“Get me out of this place!
Does the doc prefer tenors, or what?”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Schechter, Johanna Richmond, Colleen Murphy, and Jane Shelton Hoffman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Robert Schechter:

A man who was rather a nut
For a backside that tended to jut
Said, “I think of J-Lo
As wearing a halo
On her fine callipygian butt.”

Johanna Richmond:

A gal who was rather a nut,
Gave her meter permission to strut,
But lost count of the times
She admonished her rhymes
To stop begging to couple with slut.

Colleen Murphy:

A quarterback known as a nut
Took pleasure when hollering, “Hut!”
We all noticed he’d smile
When his hands rest awhile
On top of his big center’s butt.

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A guy who was rather a nut
Would point at the size of his gut.
He would laugh and then shrug,
“There’s more me to hug.”
“But no room on his lap,” sighed his mutt.

Colleen Murphy:

A writer well-known as a nut
Would write with her bedroom door shut.
Her agent inquired
Just what had transpired
To put out such best-selling smut!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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5 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (86)”

  1. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    funny stuff, jane & gang … thanks, mad!

  2. Jane Hoffman says:

    Oh, my gosh! I got so excited with my limericks winning this week that I got my dog riled up, too, and she was jumping up on me! What an honor with such good ones in the running this past week, too!!! Congrats to all!!!

  3. Johanna Richmond says:

    Very Funny, Jane! Loved them all!

  4. Jesse Levy says:

    Funny entry Jane! (No pun intended)

  5. madkane says:

    Congratulations again to all the winners. Well done!