Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category
Wednesday, March 25th, 2015
You’re just not gonna believe who’s to blame for GOP inaction on climate change.
According to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), it’s Al Gore’s fault.
Here’s Graham: “the problem is Al Gore’s turned this thing into religion. You know, climate change is not a religious problem for me, it’s an economic, it is an environmental problem.”
Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Lindsey, you’re loony — full-bore;
Only nuts would lay blame on Al Gore
For the GOP’s ’tude
About climate change, dude.
Who’s at fault? It’s your Dem-hating corps.
Tags: Climate Change, Global Warming, Lindsey Graham
Posted in Campaign Humor, Climate Change, Global Warming, GOP Humor, Lindsey Graham, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham
Monday, March 23rd, 2015
Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My muse and I thank you, Ted Cruz.
We’re enthused by your news. No more blues!
I’m infused with elation.
You’re bruising our nation,
But your run means we rhymers can’t lose.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, GOP Idiocy, Presidential Election, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 21st, 2015
Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.
It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.
*****
To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.
Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.
*****
Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?
*****
Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.
*****
In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.
I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.
*****
Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.
*****
Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”
*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.
What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!
*****
The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.
*****
Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”
But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.
*****
Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?
*****
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.
******
GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.
*****
Tags: California, Dick Cheney Humor, Dinesh D’Souza, Don Young, Donald Trump, Fox News, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck, Hillary Clinton, Kentucky, Matt McLaughlin, Political Tidbits, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rand Paul, Scott Walker, Sodomite Suppression Act, Unions
Posted in Campaign Humor, Collective Bargaining, Dick Cheney Satire, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck Satire, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Punditry Humor, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker | Comments Off on Political Tidbits
Thursday, March 19th, 2015
The Republican presidential contender position re federal minimum wage ranges from abolition (Rick Perry and Marco Rubio) to keeping it frozen at $7.25 forever (Jeb Bush’s clarified position, according to the AP.)
Minimum Wage Wars
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shall we raise the fed minimum wage?
Just the thought makes Republicans rage.
Then there’s Rubio and Perry
Who’d love to make merry
By scrapping that federal gauge.
Tags: Employment Humor, FLSA, Marco Rubio, Minimum Wage, Rick Perry, Wage Humor
Posted in Employment Humor, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry | Comments Off on Minimum Wage Wars (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 18th, 2015
For a lawyer, Rick Santorum seems clueless about the U.S. Constitution.
Rick Santorum proclaims, “Yes we can,”
Force his bible on schools — that’s his plan.
Rick forgets the Supremes
8 to 1 banned such schemes…
Else the gov could impose the Koran.
Tags: Education Humor, Public Schools, Religion Humor, Religion Satire, Religious Freedom, Rick Santorum
Posted in Education Limerick, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Santorum’s Stupidity of Biblical Proportions (Limerick)
Monday, March 9th, 2015
Forty-seven Republican Senators have done something both appalling and unprecedented: They communicated directly with Iran in order to undermine Obama’s nuclear arms negotiations.
Now it’s one thing to try to convince Obama that Iran can’t be trusted to comply with a nuclear arms deal, or to try to impede an arms deal legislatively. But it’s quite another to essentially tell Iran not to bother complying because Obama deals aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.
And the latter is precisely what they did. Here’s their open written message to Iran’s leaders, translated into a limerick:
Dear Iranian leaders, Obama
Might make you a nuke deal with drama.
But don’t bother to heed it.
We plan to defeat it.
So it’s worthless — each, word, clause, and comma.
Tags: Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, GOP, Iran, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on The Republican’s Open Limerick To Iran
Monday, March 2nd, 2015
Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma
A new Public Opinion Polling survey finds that 62% of voters think it’s important for the President to have a high school diploma, compared to only 31% who think it doesn’t matter.
Interesting: “There’s a large partisan divide on the issue: Democrats by an 81%-14% spread think it’s important, while Republicans are evenly divided on the matter at 45%-45%.”
When asked to respond to this poll, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker said, “Only elitists and ISIS supporters would buy into that requirement, whereas Senator Rand Paul said, “Have I mentioned that I’m a doctor?”
Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, a fellow presidential hopeful, disagreed with both men, saying “Don’t glasses make me look smart?”
*****
UPDATE: I was chagrined to learn that my column has fallen afoul of Poe’s Law. What the heck is Poe’s Law? The “literary adage which stipulates that without a clear indicator of an author’s intended sarcasm it becomes impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism.”
So for anyone who read this and accepted the poll as real and/or any of the quotes as real, this is hundred percent parody. It was inspired by an actual poll related to whether people believe a U.S. President should have a college degree.
UPDATE 2:
Poe’s Law compressed into a haiku:
In extremist times
reality/parody
appear to have merged.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Education Humor, Election Humor, Fake News, GOP Humor, News Parody, Parodies, Poe's Law, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Scott Walker
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fake News, GOP Humor, News Parodies, Political Limericks, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Scott Walker, White House | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 23rd, 2015
Why Republicans Embolden Our Enemies (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A government shutdown sounds sordid,
And I’m hoping it’s somehow aborted.
But the House GOP
Views the dangers with glee;
They assume they’ll again be rewarded.
Tags: GOP Idiocy, Government Shutdown, Homeland Security, House Republicans, Republicans Humor, Terrorists
Posted in GOP Humor, Government Services, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Terrorism | Comments Off on Why Republicans Embolden Our Enemies (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015
Limerick Ode To Science Disbelievers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican problem with science
Is their members respond with defiance
To facts that are proved.
(Have their brains been removed?)
They spread lies to excuse non-compliance.
*****
Refusing vaccines,
Don’t-Tell-Me-What-To-Doers
now infect us all.
*****
Exodus of thought–
an exodus of science–
the GOP way.
*****
Misinformation
delib’rately spread by Fox–
blindly accepted.
*****
Republican pols–
implacable enemy
of fairness and facts.
******
The truth-challenged pols
have taken over Congress–
therein LIES the rub.
*****
Tags: Anti-Science, Climate Change, Climate Science, Congress Humor, Fox News, Global Warming, GOP, Health Humor, Media Humor, Political Haiku & Senryu, Republicans Humor, Science Haiku, Science Humor, Science Senryu, Vaccine Humor
Posted in Climate Change, Global Warming, Health Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Science Verse | Comments Off on Limerick Ode to Science Disbelievers plus Sundry Haiku
Saturday, January 31st, 2015
Mitt Bows Out (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney won’t run. What a blow!
He took stock and decided no-go.
Now I won’t get to mock
His new populist crock
As the dough flows to Dubya’s bro.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidential Campaign Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Monday, December 29th, 2014
Having It Both Ways (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Claim “Obama’s economy’s” sick?
Then take credit for upswings? How slick!
But my dear GOPers,
It doesn’t take seers
To know that you really must pick.
Tags: Economy, Economy Satire, Fiscal Crisis, Fiscal Humor, GOP, Obama poem, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Washington | Comments Off on Having It Both Ways (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 19th, 2014
Inconvenient Facts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans love to get traction
By using executive action
As a pretext to jaw:
“Barack breaks the law!”–
Despite similar acts by their faction.
Immigration reform, for example:
Though Bush Senior and Reagan did ample
Such executive acts
It would seem, despite facts,
That on laws only Democrats trample.
Here’s a must-read, if you really want to understand the debate over deportations.
Tags: Barack Obama, Democrats Humor, Deportation Humor, Executive Action, Feigned Outrage, George Bush Sr., GOP, Immigration Humor, Immigration Reform, Republicans Humor, Ronald Reagan
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Immigration Reform, Impeachment Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Inconvenient Facts (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 19th, 2014
Republican gals
awarded but one House chair–
housekeeping gavel.
Twenty-one gavels–
GOP guys get twenty.
One lone gal “keeps house.”
For those who are keeping score, Rep. Candice Miller is the only woman who will be wielding a gavel in the Republican-controlled House. Twenty committee chairmanships go to guys (mostly white), while the least prestigious one — the House Administration Committee — goes (again) to Miller.
Miller’s committee runs the day-to-day operations of the House. So if there’s a hearing about problems with the House cafeteria or bathrooms, Candice Miller’s “The Man.”
To be fair, the Administration Committee’s other principal function is oversight over federal elections. So I suppose Miller can also hold hearings on how to make it harder for Democrats to vote.
Tags: Candice Miller, Chairmanships, Election Humor, House Administration Committee, House Committees, House Republicans, House Satire, Republicans Humor
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on The Party Of White Guys Strikes Again
Wednesday, November 5th, 2014
Election Reflections (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our nation’s elections have ended
With results rather distant from splendid.
As Republicans cheer,
I won’t cry in my beer;
I’ll need gin for our nightmare extended.
***** Sundry Post-Election Haiku *****
Dreadful election
has killed my sense of humor,
so stuck with haiku.
Election’s over–
my worst fears are realized.
Say bye to Senate.
Dems disempowered,
Republicans emboldened.
Brace for impeachment.
Election wipeout–
Americans even more
stupid than I thought.
“Was the election
a Clinton epic failure?”
Latest lame headline.
Sense of humor gone;
If you have held on to yours,
may I borrow it?
***** Post-Election Tanka *****
Watching the returns,
I memorized who won what,
but taxing my mind
proved to be unwarranted–
The Republican guys won.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Haiku, Election Humor, Election Tanka
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, November 3rd, 2014
Writing Verse, When Things Go from Bad to Worse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My goal is political mockery,
Poking fun at election-time squawkery.
But the polls are so bad
And the news is so sad,
That all I can do is throw crockery.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, GOP Lies, Media Humor, Political Polls, Poll Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014
Chris Christie Wages War On Low-Wage Workers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Chris Christie says minimum wage
Is too boring — he’s on a new page.
Dare to mention that matter—
He’ll spew out rude chatter.
Suggest raising it? Brace for his rage.
Tags: Chris Christie, GOP, Income Humor, Minimum Wage, Money Humor, New Jersey, Republicans Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Chris Christie, Employment Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Job Humor, Money And Finance Humor, New Jersey Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wage Humor | Comments Off on Chris Christie Wages War On Low-Wage Workers (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 15th, 2014
Open Limerick To Political Pollsters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear pollsters, you’re going to town
With predictions that force me to frown.
Each projection I hear
Feeds dejection. I fear
Evil clowns will be taking us down.
How I yearn for a spark that gives hope
And will somehow allow me to cope
With our national news
And the venom that spews.
Until then, I’ll continue to mope.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Political Polls, Poll Humor, Pollster Humor, Pollsters
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Political Pollsters
Friday, October 3rd, 2014
I’m looking forward to leadership from our Surgeon General, especially now that the Ebola outbreak has reached our nation.
Oh wait … we don’t have one. Why not? Because Vivek Murthy, Obama’s excellent nominee, has the audacity to view guns as a health issue.
What To Do About Ebola? Don’t Ask Our Surgeon General (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though an expert on health would be nice
At this time of Ebola, no dice!
NRA’s GOP
Blocked a great nominee,
And our nation is paying the price.
Tags: Ebola, Epidemics Limerick, Health Limerick, NRA, Obama Verse, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy
Posted in Barack Obama, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on What To Do About Ebola? Don’t Ask Our Surgeon General (Limerick)
Thursday, October 2nd, 2014
Please don’t rat me out. But while the Secret Service wasn’t looking, I swiped this limerick from President Obama’s desk:
Dear Republicans, thank you for caring.
I’m touched by the worries you’re airing.
Then again, you’ll concede
That my death might impede
Your aspersions on me, now unsparing.
Tags: Obama, Republicans Humor, Secret Service
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Purloined Limerick
Political Tidbits
Saturday, March 21st, 2015Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.
It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.
*****
To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.
Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.
*****
Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?
*****
Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.
*****
In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.
I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.
*****
Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.
*****
Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”
*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.
What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!
*****
The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.
*****
Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”
But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.
*****
Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?
*****
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.
******
GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.
*****
Tags: California, Dick Cheney Humor, Dinesh D’Souza, Don Young, Donald Trump, Fox News, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck, Hillary Clinton, Kentucky, Matt McLaughlin, Political Tidbits, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rand Paul, Scott Walker, Sodomite Suppression Act, Unions
Posted in Campaign Humor, Collective Bargaining, Dick Cheney Satire, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck Satire, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Punditry Humor, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker | Comments Off on Political Tidbits