Fickle Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A popular gal who was fickle
Found herself in a terrible pickle:
A fellow she spurned
Launched a web site that turned
Her long wooers-list into a trickle.
Archive for the ‘Relationship Humor’ Category
Fickle Limerick
Thursday, September 29th, 2011Free Money (Limerick)
Friday, August 12th, 2011Free Money Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was free with his money
Spent all of his cash on his honey.
When he fin’ly ran out,
She ran off with a lout,
Who bought her a coat made of bunny.
Love-Smitten Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, July 31st, 2011It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A love-smitten guy was irate…
or
A love-smitten gal was irate…
Here’s mine:
Love-Smitten Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A love-smitten guy was irate
When his dream-gal denied being straight.
He just wasn’t buying
And swore she was lying
To fend off his quest for a date.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Fair Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, July 10th, 2011It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was lovely and fair…
Here’s mine:
Fair Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was lovely and fair
Had a spouse who’d gone heaven knows where.
She suspected foul play.
She’s the victim, I’d say:
An affair in his lair caused her scare.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Spurned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, May 1st, 2011It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus four Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal had to cancel her plan…
or
A man had to cancel his plan…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verser will be fine, of course.)
Spurned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal had to cancel her plan
To marry a very cute man.
He spurned her advances,
Ignored all her glances —
‘Twas over before it began.
She was angry and wanted him dead —
Dreamt of murder while lying in bed.
Now at last he’s been killed
And those thoughts have been stilled,
For that fellow was all in her head.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
A Couple On The Move
Thursday, April 28th, 2011Whether it’s an Irish pub, a packed rock & roll bar, or a ballroom dance floor filled with Big Band Era seniors, hubby Mark and I will probably dance. Not well, mind you, but with great energy and enthusiasm.
We often attract attention and even compliments, accompanied undoubtedly by such thought balloons as “How do people that old dance so fast?” Or “I’m pretty sure my grandma can’t do that.” Or “What the hell is that woman doing on the men’s side of my synagogue?”
In case you’re wondering, yes we know we’re probably making a spectacle of ourselves. But we’re having fun and we simply don’t care.
Tomorrow, April 29th, is International Dance Day. So Happy International Dance Day, everyone! Here’s my latest limerick:
A Couple On The Move
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When my husband and I try to dance,
Some enjoy us and some look askance.
We’re inept, but enthused,
And don’t have to be boozed
To have rumba-like fun — that’s our stance.
You might also enjoy my We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway.
Fit To Be Tied Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, April 3rd, 2011Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus one Honorable Mention.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was fit to be tied…
or
A woman was fit to be tied…
Here’s mine:
Fit To Be Tied Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was fit to be tied
When he learned that his lover had lied.
He’d proposed. She said “No,”
And confessed, “Sorry Joe.
See that gal over there? She’s my bride.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
UPDATE: April 23 is Lover’s Day
Shy Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, March 27th, 2011Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was painfully shy…
or
A man who was painfully shy…
Here’s mine:
Shy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was painfully shy
Had a crush on a very cute guy.
When she fin’lly let on,
He was rude — said “Begone!”
You want fairy tale endings here? Why?
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To a Vigorous Old Lady
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”
(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)
UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.
Insincere Limerick
Friday, March 18th, 2011Insincere Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I love when you buy me cute ties.”
“That petite fits you fine — it’s your size.”
“Your acting is great.”
“Your cooking’s first rate.”
Ah, the charm of those little white lies.
(Inspired by Jingle Poetry’s deception and misrepresentation prompt.)
UPDATE: I just found out that April 30 is National Honesty Day. It’s celebrated by politicians … just about nowhere.
Dearest Condescending Darling (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011This limerick was inspired by some patronizing, condescending comments made on a Facebook Friend’s wall:
Dearest Condescending Darling
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear sweetheart, the “darling” address
Condescends and is irksome unless
It’s said by a spouse
Or a lover, dear louse.
For most others, it means to aggress.
(Posted at I Saw Sunday.)
Limerick Scold (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, February 27th, 2011Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was rather a scold…
or
A man who was rather a scold…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Scold
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was rather a scold
Berated her spouse o’er his cold:
“You’re sick all the time
Without rhythm or rhyme,
And your illness is getting quite old.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Out on a Limb Haiku Quintet
Monday, February 21st, 2011Though I’m never safe,
his arms always comfort me,
and that must suffice.
*****
Ballroom dancing class—
learning creative ways to
defeat the rumba.
*****
Morning legs dangle
off the bed, as antique joints
brace for their touch down.
*****
Feeling elated—
great, yet dampened by knowing
what’s soon to follow.
*****
Poised atop mirage
of a career, gazing down
at life left behind.
*****
(I wrote the 1st haiku for We Write Poems’ safe prompt; the 4th haiku for Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s elation prompt; and the 5th haiku for One Single Impression’s top prompt and Haiku Heights’ mirage prompt.)
Beguiling Verse
Wednesday, February 9th, 2011This week Writers Island prompts us to use the word beguile in a poem. So here’s my Beguiling Limerick:
Beguiling Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was very beguiling
Was always so charmingly smiling,
That she duped many men
Yet again and again.
Now they’re lined up in court for a filing.
St. Valentine’s Day Haiku
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011St. Valentine’s Day,
Okay for loving couples.
Much sweeter for stores.
(My Valentine’s Day limerick and another haiku are here. And here’s my Valiant Guys Guide To Valentines Day humor column.)
Grating Limerick
Sunday, January 23rd, 2011Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose voice is quite grating…
Here’s mine:
Grating Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
And is overly fond of debating,
Often argues with friends
And he always offends,
So his dates never make it to mating.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
A Limerick Affair
Sunday, January 9th, 2011Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
“I’m sorry I had an affair” …
Here’s mine:
A Limerick Affair
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’m sorry I had an affair,”
Said a man to his wife in despair.
“Please forgive me — I’m bad.”
She said, “Never, you cad.”
“I warned you before — I don’t share.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Wedded Bliss Interruptus
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011I’m a “recovering lawyer.” But I haven’t “recovered” quite enough to resist writing this lawsuit limerick. It’s a cautionary tale about jilted brides, grooms who get cold feet, and litigation to recover wedding expenses.
The former bride-to-be Dominique Buttitta (who just happens to be a lawyer) is seeking over $95,000 in damages from her ex-fiancé. She claims defendant Vito Salerno jilted her just four days before the wedding, after she’d spent $56,000 for the banquet hall, flowers, orchestra, and gown, plus other non-refundable expenses.
Ms. Buttitta has a decent chance of recovering her out-of-pocket expenses, according to lawyers Gloria Allred and Lydia Sartain.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Wedded Bliss Interruptus
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’re planning a wedding, be warned:
Change your mind and your bride-to-be scorned
Could sue you and win
Major bucks for your sin.
And your assets? They’re bound to be mourned.
Slovenly Limerick
Wednesday, October 20th, 2010Slovenly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose shirt was all stained
Saw his lovely wife’s look — it was pained.
“You’re so messy with pasta,”
She chided him. “Basta!
You’re just like your dad — it’s ingrained.”
UPDATE: National Pasta Day is October 17 and World Pasta Day is October 25.
Limerick Teaser
Monday, October 11th, 2010It’s time for another Limerick-Off. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An attractive but cold-hearted tease…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Teaser
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Could manipulate fellows with ease.
She’d always get favors
In all sorts of flavors.
The guys? They got naught but the freeze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
