Grating Limerick

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow whose voice is quite grating…

Here’s mine:

Grating Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow whose voice is quite grating
And is overly fond of debating,
Often argues with friends
And he always offends,
So his dates never make it to mating.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Tags: , , , , ,

25 Responses to “Grating Limerick”

  1. Bobby Clark says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Liked to keep his friends waiting.
    He’d be fashionably late
    even with tax due dates.
    Now the IRS has him gyrating.10 minutes ago · Like.

  2. Peter Metrinko says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Could curl hair with his berating
    He’d yell at the girls
    Who’d develop such curls
    That it looked like their locks they’d been plaiting

  3. Chris Rewoldt says:

    A fellow whose voice was quite grating
    Couldn’t stop his message of hating
    He was the king
    Of this horrible thing
    Playing the game of race-baiting

  4. Vivek Banerjee says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Always drew a blank while dating…
    His voice was one of a kind
    Made all the girls change their mind
    For a deaf woman, he is still waiting.

  5. Bob Kennedy says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Now anchors Fox News–Arg! The hating!
    He lies ’til he’s blue
    And cries fake tears on cue
    I’m baffled by his high Q-rating!

  6. jesse levy says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Took the stage with some comic relating
    Gilbert’s his name
    “AFLAC!” gave him fame
    Now he can stop masturbating.

  7. madkane says:

    These limericks are fun. Please keep them coming. Thanks!

  8. Gary Chomiak says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    is a pill and quite irritating.
    He blathers about
    the grey elephant snout
    and in a rush is caught masturbating.

  9. nothstine says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Always found it a drawback in dating.
    Says his maiden Aunt Ruth,
    It began in his youth,
    When he spent too much time on call waiting.

    [Wait. What did you think it was going to be?]

  10. Lee Magilow says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    has problems with communicating.
    So he puts words in writing,
    they’re much more inviting,
    to his readers who sit contemplating.

  11. A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    was otherwise devastating.
    He wowed all the girls
    with his Byronesque curls
    and left them all palpitating.

  12. A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Had a sex doll that he was inflating
    He said, “What’s your sign?”
    And she said, “What a whine!”
    Now he’s back to just…well, you know…

  13. Laurie Kolp says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Cleared the floor when dancing or skating.
    Where he went, people ran
    All the way to Japan;
    His trick worked thought the man celebrating.

  14. scott says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating,
    is actually quite innovating.
    It is such a misnomer,
    To call Jim Neighbors, Gomer.
    When he sings he is smooth and sedating.

  15. madkane says:

    I’m really enjoying these! Thanks, and please keep them coming!

  16. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow whose voice was quite grating
    To his wife who was near dialating
    Shouted, “Breath in, breath out!”
    Spouted she, “You loud lout!
    You can kiss goodbye more procreating!”

  17. Hansi says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    found a nice young lady quit infatuating.
    He started her to court
    And found her such a good sport,
    That their relationship now, they are consummating.

  18. Libby says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating,
    was cranky whenever kept waiting.
    When he started to shout,
    they kicked him right out
    to the cheers of those he was berating.

  19. Marla says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Is known for his crazy conflating
    But I say it’s the drink
    He says it’s only rarely (wink wink)
    But how else to explain his constant misstating?

    Weeper says Obama is so frustrating
    I say it’s the booze sublimating
    Just watch – don’t blink
    Until the ice cubes clink
    Now we’ll see some wild gesticulating!

    He cries when his ego’s inflating
    He cries when other stuff is deflating
    He smokes with his drink
    Turns the place into stink
    Thank God he’s done procreating

  20. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Thought his singing would spice up his dating:
    “If I sing and we dance off,
    I might get her pants off – ”
    But sadly, he’s had no luck mating.

  21. scott says:

    warning: grossness to follow

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating,
    kept all of the other guys waiting.
    They did the pee dance,
    nearly pissed in their pants,
    while he sat on the stool defecating.

  22. Elisson says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Will not know the pleasure of dating.
    When the girls hear his rasp,
    They clear out of town fast –
    Leaving him all alone, masturbating.

  23. Veralynne says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Has a resume he’s always updating
    All his co-workers agonize
    So “by one” companies downsize
    And the perfect at-home, online job is still waiting.

  24. Gary Bieber says:

    A fellow whose voice is quite grating
    Could not find a girl to be dating.
    He became quite forlorn
    Cause he could not be bourn.
    So he just stayed home masturbating.

  25. madkane says:

    Wow! What a fun selection of limericks. I’m enjoying them and hope you’ll keep them coming. Thanks!