Cursing’s Healthy, I Swear (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
New research, Brit experts declare,
Has revealed that it’s healthy to swear.
So you damn SOBs,
No more slamming my ease
With the expletive. Carpers beware!
Archive for the ‘Communication Humor’ Category
Cursing’s Healthy, I Swear (Limerick)
Thursday, May 15th, 2014Say “NO!” To “Yes, Dear”
Wednesday, April 30th, 2014Say “NO!” To “Yes, Dear”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s something most husbands should fear:
Wives’ reactions on hearing, “Yes, dear.”
It’s a phrase to avoid
Cuz we’re not just annoyed,
But enraged. Guys could lose precious “gear.”
Life With Mark Kane
Tuesday, April 29th, 2014(All dialogue guaranteed true)
Mark: “Now that I’ve won, I can go to sleep.” (gazing down, admiringly, at his laptop’s “free cell” screen at 10 pm)
Me: “Remember that Walter Kirn book I mentioned the other day?”
Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (still looking down)
Me: “The one about the impostor…”
Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (still looking down)
Me: “I just started reading it.”
Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (still looking down)
Me: “You’re not listening to me.”
Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (still looking down)
Me: “I said you’re not listening to me!”
Mark: “Huh??? Yes, I am.”
Me: “What am I talking about?”
Mark: “Uh…”
Me: “Remember? The Kirn book? I was telling you about it the other day.”
Mark: “Oh yeah.” (surreptitiously typing.)
Me: “You’re looking up “Kirn” in Google aren’t you?”
Mark: “Of course not! I remember you talking about Bruce Kern.”
Me: “I’ve never even heard of Bruce Kern. Stop trying to cheat with Google.”
Mark: “I’m not trying to cheat.”
Me: “Yes you are. I’m talking about WALTER Kirn’s book about the Rockefeller impostor.”
Mark: “Oh, yeah. Jay Rockefeller and the Hamptons.”
Me: “No! “CLARK Rockefeller. Driving a crippled dog from Montana to Manhattan.”
Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Me: “I give up!”
Limerick Rant
Wednesday, August 28th, 2013Limerick Rant
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A botanist, rather a ranter,
Looked down upon lighthearted banter.
Though he constantly “shared”
His views, which he blared,
When his wife tried to talk, he’d supplant ‘er.
Limerick Ode To The ZIP Code
Monday, July 1st, 2013Happy birthday to the ZIP Code, born fifty years ago, on July 1, 1963.
Limerick Ode To The ZIP Code
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is the birthday of ZIP Codes–
Those digital sort and then ship codes
That help us get mail,
Which they’re now calling “snail.”
With email, these aren’t such hip codes.
A Polite Limerick
Wednesday, July 11th, 2012The latest prompt from Three Words Wednesday asks us to use these three words in any sort of poem: Differ, Halt, and Imagine. And somehow I coaxed them all into a limerick:
A Polite Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When planning a verbal assault,
It can sometimes be useful to halt
And imagine your view
With a more polite skew:
Beg to differ‘s a handy default.
In-Box Overload (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 4th, 2012In-Box Overload (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My in-box is filled to the brim.
The sight of it’s making me grim.
And my virtual box
Is likewise a pox.
Mail has stamped out my zip and my vim.
(Prompted By One Single Impression’s “Inbox.”)
Related Post: Email Hell
Limerick Phase (Limerick-Off Monday)
Monday, November 14th, 2011It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s
last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who went through a phase…
or
A woman who went through a phase…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Phase
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who went through a phase
Of using a ton of clichés
Would talk up a storm
And refused to reform,
As he babbled each over-used phrase.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Befuddled Limerick
Monday, April 11th, 2011A fellow was feeling befuddled
Cuz he yearned for one thing — to be cuddled.
But he only got quickies
Or sometimes mere hickeys.
It appears that his message was muddled.
(Prompted by Befuddled)
Shy Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, March 27th, 2011Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was painfully shy…
or
A man who was painfully shy…
Here’s mine:
Shy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was painfully shy
Had a crush on a very cute guy.
When she fin’lly let on,
He was rude — said “Begone!”
You want fairy tale endings here? Why?
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Insincere Limerick
Friday, March 18th, 2011Insincere Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I love when you buy me cute ties.”
“That petite fits you fine — it’s your size.”
“Your acting is great.”
“Your cooking’s first rate.”
Ah, the charm of those little white lies.
(Inspired by Jingle Poetry’s deception and misrepresentation prompt.)
UPDATE: I just found out that April 30 is National Honesty Day. It’s celebrated by politicians … just about nowhere.
Dearest Condescending Darling (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011This limerick was inspired by some patronizing, condescending comments made on a Facebook Friend’s wall:
Dearest Condescending Darling
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear sweetheart, the “darling” address
Condescends and is irksome unless
It’s said by a spouse
Or a lover, dear louse.
For most others, it means to aggress.
(Posted at I Saw Sunday.)
Dear Prattlers
Thursday, February 24th, 2011Dear Prattlers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear prattlers, I beg you — stop talking.
If you don’t, I’ll escape. Watch — I’m walking.
I have pains in each joint,
As I wait for your point.
Oh my no! It’s insurance you’re hawking?
Update: June 28 is National Insurance Awareness Day.
Newsy Limerick
Sunday, February 6th, 2011Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who reported the news…
Here’s mine:
Newsy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who reported the news
Had some very odd habits and views.
He’d rant and he’d rave
And refuse to behave.
And when caught in a lie, he blamed booze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
