Archive for the ‘Animal & Pet Humor’ Category

Windy Walk (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 25th, 2022

Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this limerick:

The wind is impressive today.
While walking, it’s hard not to sway.
By its force I’m bowled over,
And so is poor Rover.
Truth be told, we are both blown away.

Limerick Ode To The Eagles

Monday, January 10th, 2022

“Save The Eagles Day” — that’s today’s brand.
It’s a national day in our land.
Lest there be some confusion
Or even delusion,
I don’t mean the team or the band.

(“Save The Eagles Day” is celebrated each year on January 10.)

Aggrieved Roommate (Limericks)

Wednesday, January 5th, 2022

“I’m sick of your cockatiel’s turds!
Plus it bit me again!” — angry words
From a roommate, unmuffled,
Whose feathers were ruffled.
“I’m moving. Your pet’s for the birds!”

*****

There are several bird-related holidays:

National Bird Day (January 5)

Northern Parrots National Cockatiel Day (May 20)

World Parrot Day (May 31)

Ban This Holiday? (Limerick)

Saturday, December 4th, 2021

Of the many odd hol’days I find,
There are some that I can’t get behind:
Today’s “Cheater Day!” Why
Salute such a guy?
Oh, it’s “Cheetah” Day? Oops! Never mind!

It’s Mouse Day! (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 17th, 2021

Today we must honor the mouse.
Not the rodent, of course, or I’d grouse.
It’s the patent-grant day
For the mouse-gizmo. Yay!
(For a rodent, I’d rope in my spouse.)

(On Nov 17, 1970, Douglas Engelbart was granted the patent for the first computer mouse.)

Limerick Ode To The Horse

Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

Happy “Horse Appreciation Day!” (November 16)

I wouldn’t dare ride on a horse.
My back couldn’t take it, of course.
But please do not feast
On that beautiful beast.
Eat horse-meat? Then brace to face force.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 13, 2021)

Saturday, October 30th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMPLAINTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMPLAINTS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my LEAK/LEEK-rhyme limerick:

I encountered a hedgehog last week;
While it hogged our back hedge, caught a peek.
As it foraged and grunted,
For insects it hunted.
I was pleased … till it munched on my leek.

And here’s my COMPLAINTS-themed limerick:

A woman who loved to complain,
Spouting grievances rather inane,
Would quibble and moan,
Making co-workers groan.
Her latest gripe? Jobless again!

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Woe-Ridden Gambler (Limerick)

Sunday, October 24th, 2021

A gambler who lost lots of dough
On a horse race, was stunned by the blow:
“Woe is me! I’m a chump!
That damn horse took a dump
Mid-race; he was rarin’ to ‘go.'”

A Doggone Limerick

Monday, September 13th, 2021

There’s a ball or a frisbee to toss?
Or the call for a meat bone? (No sauce!)
A long walk with your pet,
Or a howling duet?
Your canine pal’s always the boss!

Know-It-All Limerick

Wednesday, September 8th, 2021

“I’ve proven you’re wrong! Now eat crow,”
Said a know-it-all fellow, named Joe,
Who could not help but howl
At the answer re fowl:
“I’m allergic to poultry, so NO!”

A Dog Of A Claim (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

A man whose deep pockets are boundless
Is hounded by lawsuits, most groundless.
Take the latest; a claim
About dog-bites, whose aim
Is big bucks, but the “dog owner’s” hound-less.

Ill-Bred Limerick

Thursday, August 26th, 2021

Happy “National Dog Day.” (August 26)

My favorite breed is the “mutt.”
Yes, I know you’re about to say “But,
That isn’t a breed.”
I’m aware, but I need
To annoy nutty dog snobs who strut.

(National Mutt Day is celebrated on two days: July 31 and December 2.)

More Fun With Idioms (Limerick)

Monday, August 2nd, 2021

When someone’s depicted as “poor
As a church mouse,” I want to know more:
Are mice in a church
Always left in the lurch?
And if so, why not forage next door?

How To Deal With A Stubborn Donkey (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 4th, 2021

After reading that the earliest use of “Proot” was found in Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Travels with a Donkey in the Cévennes,” I couldn’t resist writing this limerick:

If your donkey behaves like a mule
And is moving too slowly, your tool
To boost the beast’s speed
And get him to heed
Is shout “PROOT!” (That’s the “Stevenson rule.”)

UPDATE: It just occurred to me that I used the current Limerick-Off rhyme-word “Tool” in this limerick, without planning to. But that gives me a good excuse to remind limerick writers about my Limerick-Offs. Here’s the link to my “tool”-rhyme contest. The entry deadline is May 15, 2021 at 4 p.m. Eastern time.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 15, 2021)

Saturday, May 1st, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ZOOS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ZOO-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 16, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 15, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my TOOL/TULLE-rhyme limerick:

The worst sort of boss is the fool
Who frequently acts like a tool;
When his OWN boss says jump,
He’ll obey like a chump.
Then who’ll suffer the consequence? You’ll!

And here’s my ZOO-themed limerick:

On a trip to our large, local zoo
We peered at its small new-born gnu.
That calf is so cute,
But it’s surely on route
To be horned, huge and cow-like, sans moo.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: COLD at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Jan. 16, 2021)

Saturday, January 2nd, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using COLD at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to KNITTING, SEWING, and/or OTHER NEEDLEWORK CRAFTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best KNITTING, SEWING, and/or OTHER NEEDLEWORK CRAFTS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 17, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 16, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my COLD-rhyme limerick:

A lamb on the lam disappeared;
“I’ll be eaten for dinner,” it feared.
But when found, wet and cold,
“You’re not food,” it was told.
“But we DO need our weeds and brush cleared.”

And here’s my KNITTING, SEWING, & OTHER NEEDLEWORK CRAFTS-themed limerick:

I’m begging: Don’t ask me to knit,
Cuz whatever I make, it won’t fit.
I am dreadful at “throwing.”
The same goes for sewing.
(But my nitpicking’s often a hit.)

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 2, 2021)

Saturday, December 19th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ART, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ART-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 3, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 2, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my MOUSSE/MOOSE/VAMOOSE-rhyme limerick:

I encountered a moose and a goose
On the roadway and told them, “Vamoose!”
They ignored me, alas,
So my car could not pass.
(I’m still there shouting verbal abuse.)

And here’s my ART-themed limerick:

The wall had an animal frieze;
Cows and goats, with occasional trees–
Mostly evergreens — laurel —
And images floral.
Lovely art, but one look made me sneeze.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Doze or Doughs or Does (the Deer kind) at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Nov. 7, 2020)

Saturday, October 24th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Doze or Doughs or Does (the Deer kind) at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DATING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DATING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 8, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 7, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DOZE/DOUGHS/DOES-rhyme limerick:

When I’m trying to sleep and can’t doze,
I count does (and not sheep.) Heaven knows
That I’d rather see deer
Cuz they’re pretty. Don’t sneer;
I know someone who chose counting crows.

And here’s my DATING-themed limerick:

A young woman both lovely and chaste
Was chased by a fellow whose taste
Runs to innocent lasses
Who never wear glasses.
She’s insightful … so he’s unembraced.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GROWN or GROAN at the end of any one line

Saturday, March 23rd, 2019

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GROWN or GROAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DIVORCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DIVORCE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Whenever a fellow would nap
His collie would leap on his lap.
Then he’d groan and he’d moan.
(The dog was full-grown.)
How he longed for a dog-warning app.

And here’s my Divorce-themed limerick:

Although “civil,” it’s certain to vex
And is rarely divorced from bad sex.
It takes courtrooms and cash,
Zealous Esqs who are brash:
It’s converting your spouse to an ex.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PAIRS or PEARS or PARES or REPAIRS or PREPARES or COMPARES at the end of any one line

Saturday, November 17th, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PAIRS or PEARS or PARES or REPAIRS or PREPARES or COMPARES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to THEFT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best THEFT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 2, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 1, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

It appears that my car needs repairs;
From the noise, you would swear that some bears
Are marauding inside,
Which ain’t good for the ride…
And impairs surreptitious affairs.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!