Archive for the ‘Supreme Court’ Category
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is under scrutiny these days for conflicts of interest related to the Koch Brothers, the Federalist Society, and the Citizens United case.
But today’s limerick and haiku will focus, instead, on the fact that Thomas hasn’t asked a single appellate hearing question in five years.
For the record, I did quite a bit of litigation work during my lawyering years. And believe me, his failure to speak throughout five years of hearings is peculiar and reflects very poorly on his judicial skills.
That brings me to my Clarence Thomas limerick:
Limerick Ode To Clarence Thomas
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m mindful that Thomas can talk,
But at queries for hearings he’ll balk.
He’s been silent for years–
Five in all. I’m all ears.
If he asks one sharp question, I’ll gawk.
And here’s my Clarence Thomas haiku:
The Sup Court’s Thomas–
Too ill-informed for queries?
Or just too lazy?
UPDATE: It’s been nearly two years since I wrote this limerick and haiku. So in fairness, I must announce that Justice Thomas has finally broken his silence.
Now mind you, he didn’t ask a sharp question … or, indeed, any question: He merely made a mildly amusing four-word (or so) remark about lawyers who went to Yale.
Still … it’s a start.
Tags: Citizens United, Clarence Thomas, Conflicts Of Interest, Federalist Society, Koch Brothers, Law Satire, Legal Humor, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Legal Limericks, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
Way back in 1999, President Bill Clinton nominated a brilliant lawyer for a seat on the federal appeals court based in the District of Columbia.
Alas, that lawyer never got to the D.C. bench. Indeed, the brilliant nominee never even got to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
You see, the lawyer suffered from a fatal flaw — she’d been named by a Democratic President, and her appointment would shift the balance of a very important court. So Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, blocked her nomination, refusing to schedule a hearing.
Disappointed but undaunted, the brilliant lawyer pursued other legal opportunities over the years and achieved great success.
More than a decade after this ill-fated nomination, the federal bench beckoned once again. But this time it was a nomination to the highest court of the land.
Getting a hearing wasn’t a problem this time. A hearing where Senator Hatch and his fellow Republicans would look askance at the brilliant lawyer, complaining she lacked the very judicial experience they had denied her.
Who was that brilliant lawyer? Elena Kagan.
And now you know… the rest of the story.
Related Posts: Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross, Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice, Leery About Elena, and Obama’s What???
Tags: Bill Clinton, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Legal Humor, Orrin Hatch, Paul Harvey Parody, Supreme Court
Posted in Elena Kagan, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Senate Satire, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
Alert the authorities: U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has “embraced dowdy as a mark of brainpower.” Moreover, unlike “most women” she doesn’t cross her legs when she’s sitting.
Yes, Washington Post columnist Robin Ghivan is at it again with her sexist political fashion drivel. (I still haven’t recovered from Ghivan’s column about Hillary Clinton’s cleavage.)
Well here’s a news flash for Ms. Ghivan: Any grown woman with half a brain knows that crossing your legs is both uncomfortable and unhealthy. But hey, if you want varicose veins go right ahead.
Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you care about good circulation
And prefer that your feet have sensation,
Then you don’t cross your legs.
Givhan’s column’s the dregs.
Sexist nonsense is Robin’s fixation.
Tags: Circulation, Elena Kagan, Fashion Police, Feminist Satire, Hillary Clinton, Law Satire, Media Humor, Robin Ghivan, Supreme Court Humor, Washington Post, Women's Health
Posted in Elena Kagan, Feminism Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross
Thursday, May 13th, 2010
As the Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss points out, the U.S. Supreme Court is packed with graduates of Harvard Law and Yale Law:
Assuming President Obama wins confirmation of Solicitor General Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court, that august body will be exclusively filled with judges who earned their law degrees at Harvard or Yale.
Strauss thinks such exclusivity is a bad idea and, as you can tell from this limerick, so do I:
Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that Supremes have to hail
From the law schools of Harvard or Yale.
My law school’s St. John’s.
That’s just one of my “cons.”
Plus I’m sixty — I might as well bail.
Tags: Education Humor, Elena Kagan, Harvard, Ivy League, Judiciary Humor, Law Degree Humor, Law Satire, Law Schools, Legal Humor, Resume Humor, U.S. Supreme Court, Yale
Posted in Education Limerick, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Personal, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Thursday, May 13th, 2010
Apparently, anti-Kagan attacks from the right have been inspiring some liberals to rally around her. But I’m not among them. Not yet, anyway.
Now for all I know, Elena Kagan may be a closet liberal. I sure hope so. But so far there’s little to suggest that Kagan’s any more liberal than President Obama, and that scares me.
Leery About Elena (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s no doubt that Ms. Kagan’s quite smart.
Some say brilliant, but does she have heart?
We’ve a liberal hole.
Will she fill it with soul,
Or tip the court “right” from the start?
Tags: Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, Empathy, Judiciary Humor, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Liberals, Supreme Court Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
How amusing! We’ve moved from “Obama’s Katrina” to “Obama’s Harriet Miers.” Yes, wingnutty Republicans are invoking Harriet Miers in discussing Obama’s U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. Sorry, Redstate and the rest of you, the answer to “Will this be President Obama’s Harriet Miers Moment?” is “No!”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Obama’s What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Obama’s Katrina,” they say.
“Obama’s H. Miers,” they pray.
To the wingnuts give thanks
For reminding the ranks
Of the many ways Bush went astray.
Related Posts: U.S. Supreme Court Humor
Tags: Bush, Elena Kagan, Harriet Miers, Judiciary Humor, Katrina, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Supreme Court Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court, White House, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Friday, April 9th, 2010
It’s the end of an era. The great Justice John Paul Stevens has announced his resignation from the U.S. Supreme Court. Here’s a thank you limerick for Justice Stevens:
Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Great thanks to a judge I admire:
Justice Stevens, alas, must retire.
A supreme loss, indeed!
Please Obama, take heed:
In his place, name a judge who’ll inspire.
Tags: John Paul Stevens, Judiciary Humor, Legal Verse, Obama poem, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Monday, January 25th, 2010
There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. Overruling long-held precedents, it gives corporations free rein to buy political influence, all in the name of “corporate personhood” and “free speech.”
Nor is there anything funny about the hypocrisy of self-described anti-judicial-activism Republicans who laud this calamitous decision.
And, alas, there’s nothing funny about this limerick:
Democracy’s Demise?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Justice Roberts and co are unbound,
Driving precedents precious aground.
Yet Republicans cheer,
And the sobs that we hear
Are the sounds of democracy drowned.
********
Lance Mannion managed to extract some humor from this judicial travesty.
Tags: Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Supreme Court | 3 Comments »
Friday, May 29th, 2009
The National Review’s Mark Krikorian is having problems with Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s name. Apparently, its pronunciation doesn’t sufficiently conform to Krikorian’s Anglo standards. So what’s his solution? He pronounces it any old way he feels like it. And he thinks the rest of us should do the same.
Krikorian argued that the proper pronunciation, preferred by the judge and her family, is “unnatural in English,” and “something we shouldn’t be giving in to.” It wasn’t clear which group of people constituted “we.”
Krikorian added that “newcomers” should “adapt” to how “countrymen say your name.” To do otherwise would be a failure of “multiculturalism.” He knows how to pronounce the Supreme Court nominee’s name, but he doesn’t like it, and would like others to join him in pronouncing it incorrectly.
After catching some well-deserved flack about these comments, Krikorian further embarrassed himself with this:
While in the past there may well have been too much social pressure for what sociologists call Anglo-conformity, now there isn’t enough. I think that’s a concern that most Americans share at some level, which is the root of the angst over excessive immigration, bilingual education, official English, etc.
If anyone deserves a limerick, it’s Mark Krikorian:
Ode To Mark Krikorian
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pronouncing some names can be tough.
When they’re foreign they’re weird and they’re rough.
Yes, Krikorian’s right.
Krik, they’re really a blight.
So one syllable’s surely enough.
Tags: Bilingual Education, Immigrants, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Mark Krikorian, Media, Names, National Review, Pronunciation, Sonia Sotomayor, Supreme Court
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sonia Sotomayor Verse, Supreme Court | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
It’s simple enough to avoid Judge Sonia Sotomayor smear-tweets like these:
White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw.
Imagine a judicial nominee said “my experience as a white man makes me better than a latina woman” new racism is no better than old racism.
Just be sure not to follow Newt Gingrich’s Twitter feed.
If only it were as easy to dodge Newt on TV, in print, and on the Net.
And that brings me to my latest song parody, which you can sing to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing:
Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks.
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hark! The former Speaker speaks.
Headlines, Speaker Gingrich seeks.
News cos eagerly come through.
They don’t care his claims ain’t true.
Gleefully he airs his lies,
Spreading venom, media buys.
Watch the ousted Newt proclaim,
Sonia is just a racist dame.
Darkly, Gingrich spews his views.
Can’t avoid him on the news.
Tags: Judiciary Satire, Latina, Law Satire, Lies, Media, News, Newt Gingrich, Obama Nominees, Racism, Smears, Song Parody, Sonia Sotomayor, Speaker, Supreme Court, Twitter
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sonia Sotomayor Verse, Supreme Court, Twitter | 8 Comments »
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
President Obama recently used the e-word in connection with his yet-to-be-named U.S. Supreme Court nominee, and the Republicans were (or pretended to be) horrified. Senator Orrin Hatch claimed empathy was a “code word for an activist judge”, while the ever-entertaining Michael Steele said in his inimitable, classy fashion, “I’ll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind!”
But while many Democrats were outraged by Republican reaction, I’m empathetic enough to appreciate where they’re coming from:
Empathy is such an ugly word:
Injudicious moral flaw.
Empathy is totally absurd
And violates the rule of law.
(With my apologies to Billy Joel)
(My previous (and full length) song parody to this song is here.)
Tags: Activist Judge, Empathy. Republicans, GOP, Judges, Law Satire, Michael Steele, Obama, Orrin Hatch, Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Michael Steele, Music Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Song Parodies, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
Nothing brings out Republican hypocrisy like a nice, juicy U.S. Supreme Court vacancy. Take Karl Rove, for instance, on Obama’s potential nominees to replace Justice David Souter:
Karl Rove rails against the possible nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor because “her opinions…have been very liberal.” But when Sandra Day O’Connor retired, Rove said the opposition has a responsibility to approve judges who are qualified, even if they disagree with their views.
And that brings me to my latest double limerick:
Karl’s Roving Standards
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rove’s memory’s certainly short.
Back when dealing with names for the Court,
He said Dems must not nix
Any Bush judgeship picks
Based on views that they failed to support.
But now that the tables are turned,
He says Dem nominees must be spurned
If Republicans think
That their politics stink.
Consistency? Karl? Unconcerned!
Tags: Bush, David Souter, Hypocrisy, Judiciary Satire, Karl Rove, Obama, Republicans Humor, Sandra Day O’Connor, Sotomayor, Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Hypocrisy Humor, Karl Rove, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Monday, October 6th, 2008
At first, I was amused by John McCain’s bitter-sounding “life isn’t fair” remark.
Asked why Obama has been rising as the Wall Street crisis has dominated attention, McCain said with a chuckle on Fox News Channel: “Because life isn’t fair.”
But on second thought, I’ve decided McCain is right:
Finally, A McCain Statement I Can Agree With
By Madeleine Begun Kane
McCain’s very wrong about war
And on health care and taxes and more.
But he’s right (though it’s rare)
With his “life isn’t fair,”
Cuz what else could explain Bush v. Gore?
Tags: Bush v. Gore, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Health Care, Legal Humor, Life Isn't Fair, Presidential Election, Senator McCain Humor, Senator Obama, Taxes, War
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 5 Comments »
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
According to Fred Thompson, Sarah Palin’s inability to name a single Supreme Court case she disagrees with wasn’t her fault. Why not? Because Katie Couric didn’t give her a list of cases. I half-expected Thompson to demand a do-over test.
A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re excused, dear Ms. Palin. Rejoice!
Now that Thompson has lent you his voice,
The court case-test you flunked
Has been strongly debunked
As unfair — wasn’t multiple choice.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Do-Over Tests, Election Humor, Fred Thompson, Governor Palin, Katie Couric, Legal Humor, Presidential Campaign, Supreme Court Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, Supreme Court | 4 Comments »
Ode To Odious Corporate Personhood
Monday, January 25th, 2010There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. Overruling long-held precedents, it gives corporations free rein to buy political influence, all in the name of “corporate personhood” and “free speech.”
Nor is there anything funny about the hypocrisy of self-described anti-judicial-activism Republicans who laud this calamitous decision.
And, alas, there’s nothing funny about this limerick:
Democracy’s Demise?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Justice Roberts and co are unbound,
Driving precedents precious aground.
Yet Republicans cheer,
And the sobs that we hear
Are the sounds of democracy drowned.
********
Lance Mannion managed to extract some humor from this judicial travesty.
Tags: Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Supreme Court | 3 Comments »