Posts Tagged ‘Health Limerick’
Friday, October 8th, 2021
“World Egg Day” has given me an excuse to write this limerick rant:
“Do NOT eat the yolks of your eggs!”
“Just the egg whites,” they said – (the egg-dregs.)
Now such counsel’s passé
Re cholesterol. Yay!
All those egg lies no longer have legs.
Tags: Cholesterol, Egg Humor, Egg Limerick, Egg Whites, Egg Yolks, Food Humor, Food Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, World Egg Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Egg Myths (Limerick)
Monday, August 30th, 2021
“Here’s some gossip I’ve only just heard:
Jane’s engaged to a writerly nerd,
Who’s a Scrabble fanatic
And rather asthmatic.
It’s a secret, so don’t breathe a word.”
Tags: Gossip Humor, Gossip Limerick, Gossip Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Nerds, Scrabble, Secrets, Writers
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Breathless Gossip (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2021
What follows is:
1: A two-verse limerick about my adventures (and difficulties) in booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments in New York City for hubby Mark and me. (And yes, we both easily qualify by age.)
2: A blow by blow description of how I finally managed to snag vaccine appointments in the doesn’t-deserve-to-be-called-a-system New York Covid-19 vaccine scheduling “system.”
(I hope that the information I provide below my 2-verse limerick proves helpful to those who are having similar vaccine-booking problems, both in and outside of New York.)
Fin’lly got my first shot. So did Mark,
After problems with booking them — stark!
New York’s issue-packed system
(too many to list ’em)
Is so bad, I have fantasies — dark.
So how did I schedule our shots
In a system so tied up in knots?
“Push notifications”
Resolved our frustrations;
We were saved by some fine Twitter bots.
If you’re having problems booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments, here’s how I did it in New York City. I hope it helps you too. (Even if you live in another state, some of my info just might be applicable to you.)
1. After trying all the obvious methods for booking vaccine appointments, and failing abysmally, I searched Google to find out if anybody had created a Covid-19 vaccine appointment locator bot in New York. I used search phrases such as covid-19 vaccine New York bot and Covid-19 vaccine New York tracker bot.
This led me to these two Twitter accounts: @turbovax and @nycshotslots. (If you are having trouble getting a vaccination appointment outside of New York, try a similar search for your own state. And if you’re lucky, a Good Samaritan in your city or state created a comparable public bot. For example, this bot was designed for New Jersey residents, and this one was set up for Massachusetts residents.)
2. I went to Twitter, searched for both accounts, and clicked on “follow.” (I was already active on Twitter. However, if you’re not already a Twitter member, you’ll have to join it before benefiting from these or other Twitter bot accounts.)
3. For the next couple of weeks, I checked those New York bot Twitter accounts three or four times an hour. And from time to time, I actually found some potential appointments. Unfortunately, however, each time I went to snag a pair of appointments, I was already too late. This happened even when I started checking every five or ten minutes.
4. Finally, in desperation, I researched how to get “push notifications” from individual Twitter accounts. (In general, I hate and avoid push notifications. But this situation called for emergency measures!)
Fortunately, setting up Twitter push notifications on my laptop turned out to be very simple: All I had to do was return to the home pages of each of those two accounts I was already following (@turbovax and @nycshotslots) and click on the icon immediately to the left of the word “following.” (The icon looks like a bell with a plus sign.) Clicking on it turns on push notifications for that specific Twitter feed, and you’ll know it’s properly set up because after clicking on it, it will turn as dark blue as your “following” indicator button.
5. From then on, as long as I was near my laptop (and the sound was on) I’d hear a sound indicating that one of those two accounts had just tweeted. Additionally a visible notice would flash, then disappear very quickly.
6. As soon as I saw or heard one of those “push notifications” I headed to Twitter to read the latest bot tweets and see if it was for appointment locations/dates that might work for us. And the second I saw one that might be good, I clicked on the site, filled out the forms, and was able to successfully book appointments for both Mark and myself.
Even then, acting so swiftly, I ended up with appointments for us on consecutive days, and not the theoretically more desirable same day. But that actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because parking was impossible at that location (Hillcrest High School, Jamaica Queens, NY.)
So Mark and I took turns on consecutive appointment days, remaining in the driver’s seat, illegally parked in front of someone’s driveway with the blinkers on, ready to move the car at a moment’s notice, for as long as it took for the non-car-baby-sitter to get his/her shot.
Mark and I are both very relieved to have gotten our first shots and to have dates scheduled for our second shots. And I hope you too either have gotten (or will soon get) your Covid vaccine shots.
I also hope that you found this info helpful or, at least, enjoyed my limerick.
*****
FYI, here’s a non-Twitter New York State-wide bot that I haven’t tried, because I discovered it after booking our appointments.
Tags: Computer Advice, Coronavirus, Covid Vaccination, Covid Vaccine, Covid Vaccine Bot, Covid-19, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Health Limericks, New York, New York City, New York City Verse, Technology Advice, Technology Limerick, Twitter Verse, Vaccination Limerick, Vaccine Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Robot Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, March 11th, 2020
Headline: “Coronavirus is changing the way the world says ‘hello'”
Social distancing sounds fine to me!
No more hand-shaking, hugging? Whoopee!
Fewer kisses to duck?
Well that surely won’t suck!
(They are hard to fend off when you’re wee.)
Tags: Affection Humor, Coronavirus, Covid-19, Epidemic, Hand Shaking Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Hug Humor, Hug Limerick, Hugging Humor, Kissing Humor, Pandemic, Social Distancing
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, September 28th, 2019
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRIP or GRIPPE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BOSSES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BOSSES-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 13, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 12, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my GRIP/GRIPPE-rhyme limerick:
My mood has been taking a dip
Cuz I fear I’ve been gripped by the grippe.
“Just a cold,” says my doc.
“Get a grip and don’t squawk!
“My prescription: green tea and a nip.”
And here’s my BOSSES-themed limerick:
My boss tends to yammer and kvetch
And complain all the time, till you retch
From the onslaught of griping
And groaning and sniping…
But at least the guy isn’t a letch.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bosses, Competition Limerick, Employment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Illness Humor, Letches Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, The Grippe, Work, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 129 Comments »
Saturday, March 23rd, 2019
Happy Chia Day! (March 23)
Gastric issues? Some recommend chia.
It might help; at least that’s the idea
To avoid constipation.
But measure your ration
Cuz ALSO not fun: DIARRHEA!
Tags: Chia, Chia Day, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Gastric Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, March Holidays, National Chia Day, Odd Holidays, Stomach Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Chia
Saturday, February 23rd, 2019
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NEED OR KNEAD OR KNEED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to POULTRY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best POULTRY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 10, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 9, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I’m in pain, so I need you to knead
All my muscles. Then get me some weed.
I was kneed in the back
By some guy at the track,
And it feels like I fell off a steed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Back Pain, Competition Limerick, Grass, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Horse Humor, Horse Racing, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marijuana, Poetry & Prompts, Weed Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 153 Comments »
Saturday, September 15th, 2018
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HOLE or WHOLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SCHOOL SUPPLIES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SCHOOL SUPPLIES-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 30, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 29, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A fellow went out for a stroll,
Healthy exercise largely his goal.
He encountered a hitch,
Falling down in a ditch.
Not too healthy that walk, on the (w)hole.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Exercise Humor, Health, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 170 Comments »
Saturday, December 10th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FLU, FLEW, or FLUE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PARTIES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PARTY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 25, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 24, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here are my two sample limericks:
I never get shots for the flu.
It’s just something I don’t like to do;
I’m convinced they won’t work,
And I’ll feel like a jerk
When succumbing to germs from the queue.
and
I’m hoping you won’t misconstrue
This as telling you what you should do:
Our abode smells of smoke,
Which isn’t a joke.
Did you choke off our fireplace flue?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Fireplace Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 66 Comments »
Sunday, November 1st, 2015
Halloween week I sampled some candy,
But stuff that I used to find dandy
Made me cringe with distaste.
Has aging laid waste
To my taste buds? I’d rather drink brandy.
Have the folks who make chocolate treats
Altered recipes, cheapened these sweets
Till they taste like debris?
Is it them? Is it me?
Either way, here come healthier eats.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Candy Humor, Chocolate Poem, Food Verse, Halloween Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, October Holidays, Sugar Humor, Trick Or Treat Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on What Have They Done To My Treats? (2-Verse Limerick)
Tuesday, May 26th, 2015
Take this with several grains … of alcohol: According to a bunch of studies, beer is good for you.
Beer Is Good For You??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
For those who enjoy drinking beer,
There’s news you’ll be happy to hear:
Beer is good for your heart
And your kidneys. Good start…
But I still give its taste a bronx cheer.
Tags: Beer Humor, Beer Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Medical Studies Humor, Scientific Study Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Monday, November 24th, 2014
Posterior Advances (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Most hospital gowns can cause tears
Cuz our butt spheres so rarely get cheers.
But the med field’s revealed
Asses CAN be concealed;
New frontiers in design shield our rears.
Tags: Butt Humor, Clothes Design, Clothing Humor, Derriere, Health Limerick, Hospital Gowns, Hospital Humor, Medical Humor
Posted in Fashion Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, August 14th, 2013
It seems fitting, somehow, that I read about the LumoBack Sensor on International Nagging Day. It “straps around your lower waist to track your posture and vibrates whenever you slouch.”
Limerick Ode To The Posture Police
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The LumoBack Sensor’s a grouch—
It nags and berates when I slouch:
By dispensing bad vibes,
It poor-posture proscribes.
Shouldn’t slouching be cool on a couch?
*****
Note from Mad Kane: I’ve never actually tried this gadget. For all I know, having your “lower waist” (as opposed to your upper waist?) vibrate is a delightful experience.
Tags: Back Pain, Gadget Humor, Health Limerick, LumoBack Sensor, Nag, Nag Humor, Nagging, Posture Humor
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To The Posture Police
Thursday, February 7th, 2013
Does Consumer Reports really need to rate beef jerky and meat sticks?
Jerky Review (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Consumer Reports, what a waste:
Judging jerky and meat sticks for taste.
They’re all loaded with salt
And deserve a “Gevalt!”
Will you next rate the flavor of paste?
UPDATE: June 12 is National Jerky Day.
Tags: Beef Jerky, Consumer Ratings, Consumer Reports, Cured Meat, Food Humor, Food Verse, Health Limerick, June Holidays, Meat Sticks, Media Humor, National Jerky Day, Odd Holidays, Salt
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Media Humor, Odd Holidays, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
I usually avoid this topic, but dVerse prompted me to write this far-from-funny limerick:
Musical Exile
By Madeleine Begun Kane
How I long to be back in that chair,
Playing symphony music — longhair.
But my oboe career
Was pilfered, I fear—
Tearful exile by injuries’ snare.
Tags: DVerse, Health Limerick, Music, Oboe Limerick, Orchestra Poetry, Symphony Verse
Posted in Health Verse, Music Poems | 10 Comments »
Thursday, March 29th, 2012
Yoga’s been in the news quite a bit lately. Is it good for you? Is it bad for you? Should you purchase some fancy yoga garb and skip the actual yoga?
But the oddest story so far is this one about naked yoga classes in South Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York.
Nude Yoga? Yikes!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Take a yoga class naked? How scary!
I confess that the thought makes me wary.
Yes I’ll gladly condone
Nude yoga alone.
But in public? I’m sorry. Too hairy.
(If you’re in Brooklyn and want to study yoga in a more modest fashion, check out my niece’s Crown Heights Fitness.)
Related Posts: A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth? and Yoga For What?
Tags: Attire Verse, Clothing Poem, Education Limerick, Exercise Humor, Health Limerick, Naked Limerick, New Age, Nudity, Yoga, Yoga Humor
Posted in Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New Age Humor, Physical Appearance, Sports Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011
Nonplussed by Google-Plus?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is Google-Plus blessing or curse?
It’s surely inspired some verse.
But here’s what I fear:
With the Plus option here,
My A.D.D.’s getting much worse.
Tags: ADD Humor, Attention Deficit Humor, Attention Span Humor, Brain Humor, Concentration Limerick, Distractions, Google, GooglePlus, Health Limerick, Mental Health, Social Media Poetry, Social Networking Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Google, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Media Humor | 9 Comments »
Monday, February 14th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was on a campaign…
Here’s mine:
Healthy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was on a campaign
Which was driving her fam’ly insane.
Yes, her new “smart health” diet
Kept causing a riot:
Each dinner she served featured brain.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Diet Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Health Limerick, Obsession Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Obsessions Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 35 Comments »
Monday, September 20th, 2010
Rumor has it that fall will arrive on September 23rd. So I thought I’d celebrate with my Limerick Ode To Autumn:
Limerick Ode To Autumn
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feels like autumn — the walking is easy
Cuz it’s cool and it’s dry and it’s breezy.
But what do I spy?
Flying pollen — oh my!
Any minute I’ll surely be sneezy.
Tags: Allergy Humor, Autumn Poems, Fall Limerick, Hay Fever, Health Limerick, Outdoors, Seasonal Verse, September Holidays, Sneezing, Walking, Weather Poem
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 4 Comments »