Posts Tagged ‘New Age’

Nude Yoga? Yikes! (Limerick)

Thursday, March 29th, 2012

Yoga’s been in the news quite a bit lately. Is it good for you? Is it bad for you? Should you purchase some fancy yoga garb and skip the actual yoga?

But the oddest story so far is this one about naked yoga classes in South Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York.

Nude Yoga? Yikes!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Take a yoga class naked? How scary!
I confess that the thought makes me wary.
Yes I’ll gladly condone
Nude yoga alone.
But in public? I’m sorry. Too hairy.

(If you’re in Brooklyn and want to study yoga in a more modest fashion, check out my niece’s Crown Heights Fitness.)

Related Posts: A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth? and Yoga For What?

De-Stress Or Distress?

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006

Are you stressed out? A quivering blob of nerves? Are your muscles lodged in a permanent clench? Here’s what not to do:

1. Lie down on the floor with your knees bent and pointed upward. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly. Take another deep breath. Wonder if that smell is gas.

2. Concentrate on your breathing, on releasing that stale, toxic, virulent energy trapped inside you. Feel your body begin to relax. Sense the tension seeping out of your shoulders and toes, your life force beginning to renew. Jump up to check the stove.

3. Resume the position. Resume breathing. Become obsessed by cobwebs on the ceiling.

4. Decide to play a relaxation CD. Your choices are “healing harps,” ocean waves, and whales. Wonder which best suits your persona. Whales remind you of sharks. Decide to go with the harps.

5. Lie down a third time, notice ceiling, slam eyelids shut. Breathe deeply, welcoming the return of your vital juices. I.n.h.a.l.e…t.w.o…t.h.r.e.e…f.o.u.r…E.x.h.a.l.e…t.w.o…t.h.r.e.e…f.o.u.r. Savor the rise and fall of your abdomen. Focus on the harps which remind you of angels which remind you of heaven which reminds you of hell which reminds you that maybe you should listen to something else. … De-Stress Or Distress is continued here.)

UPDATE: August 15th is National Relaxation Day.