Discontented (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some say, “Content cries out to be free.”
Oddly, that’s what some users decree.
Whether poetry, art,
Software, songs from the heart,
They deny there’s a rightful payee.
They think copyright laws are oppressive.
They deem fees, even tiny, excessive.
But if they don’t get paid,
Their attorney brigade
Will surely become quite aggressive.
(Sunday Scribblings prompts us with the word free.)
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
But I’m trying something a bit different this time: One of your limericks will be anointed Limerick Of The Week. How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week in next week’s Limerick-Off post. And that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was very upset…
or
A woman was very upset…
Here’s mine:
Upset Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was very upset.
He was fretting and filled with regret.
He’d followed a tip
To invest in a ship,
Then discovered the tip was all wet.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who took pride in her style…
or
A man who took pride in his style…
Here’s mine:
Stylish Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who took pride in her style
Had a temper quite terribly vile.
When asked if her dress
Came from Buy It For Less,
Her screams could be heard for a mile.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Secret Cache
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow had a secret cache
of coins and stamps and gold.
He planned to sell it off one day
when he became quite old.
That time did come for him at last—
age ninety-three or more.
Alas, he’d thrown his cache box out—
forgot what it was for.
(You can find more of my bad memory humor here. And check out the secret prompt over at Writer’s Island)
Edgy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
His cash flow had put him on edge,
And he needed a day to just veg.
He was stressed to the max
Over real estate tax,
And could not even fund his new hedge.
(Lots Of Laughter edge prompt)
St. Valentine’s Day,
Okay for loving couples.
Much sweeter for stores.
(My Valentine’s Day limerick and another haiku are here. And here’s my Valiant Guys Guide To Valentines Day humor column.)
Ode To AOL’s Huffington Post Acquisition
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Huffington Post has been bought.
In AOL’s lair it’s been caught.
Will its death there be quick,
Or will some readers stick?
And will payment for scribes remain naught?
Here’s the New York Times on the acquisition and Huffington’s announcement.
Sometimes I’m very disobedient when it comes to poetry prompts. For instance, Haiku Heights asks us to use the word splendor in … surprise, surprise … haiku. So what do I do? I use it in a limerick, instead.
Not So Splendid Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I wonder what constitutes splendor
And if views of it vary by gender.
Some see it in people
Or art or a steeple.
And others in green legal tender.
Finesse is the word of the day over at Writers Block Daily. It prompted me to write a limerick and haiku:
Finessing Popularity
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man with no hint of finesse
Was quite popular. Why? Can you guess?
Neither handsome, nor funny,
The guy sure had money
To spare and was known for largesse.
Finance and finesse
Both begin with the root fin.
End of resemblance?
Today’s poetry prompt courtesy of Writers Block Daily is “chances are.” It inspired me to write this law-related limerick:
Billable Pep Talk
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“The chances are good that you’ll win,”
Said the lawyer, betraying a grin.
“But you know either way
You will still have to pay
Me the fee that is set forth herein.”
Big Tent Poetry’s latest prompt asks us to dig up a photo portrait taken by someone else and write from the photographer’s point of view. Here’s the limerick I came up with:
Dogged Photographer
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh why won’t that doggie sit still?
My photo career’s gone downhill.
I should have said “no”
To that dog owner’s dough.
No more pet shots — I’ve been through the mill.
I’m a “recovering lawyer.” But I haven’t “recovered” quite enough to resist writing this lawsuit limerick. It’s a cautionary tale about jilted brides, grooms who get cold feet, and litigation to recover wedding expenses.
The former bride-to-be Dominique Buttitta (who just happens to be a lawyer) is seeking over $95,000 in damages from her ex-fiancé. She claims defendant Vito Salerno jilted her just four days before the wedding, after she’d spent $56,000 for the banquet hall, flowers, orchestra, and gown, plus other non-refundable expenses.
Ms. Buttitta has a decent chance of recovering her out-of-pocket expenses, according to lawyers Gloria Allred and Lydia Sartain.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Wedded Bliss Interruptus
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’re planning a wedding, be warned:
Change your mind and your bride-to-be scorned
Could sue you and win
Major bucks for your sin.
And your assets? They’re bound to be mourned.
As I’ve mentioned previously, my pal Patrick McGuire runs a weekly Unfinished Limerick Contest. The latest finished oddly, as explained in this … uh … press release. And I’m proud to say I garnered an Honorable Mention, despite having broken just about all of the contest’s rules. How did I pull off this feat? You’ll just have to read Patrick’s blog.
Here’s my entry:
Limerick Ode To Greed
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Tis the season to make lots of cash
For business, for God. Got a stash?
Yes, ain’t it ironic
That greed is so chronic?
We worship the gods of mall trash.
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was planning a trip…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
A woman was planning a trip,
When her husband said, “Please, get a grip.
Our bank account’s low.
We have one-way cash flow.”
But his wife said, “Enough with your lip!”
“You’ve been wasting our cash at the track
And on poker and possibly crack.
I’m sick of this life
And of being your wife.
So goodbye, it is you who should pack.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who grew up quite poor…
Here’s mine:
Poor Excuse For A Limerick (Poor Excuse Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who grew up quite poor
Is rich now, but always craves more.
Is it greed or just fear?
It isn’t quite clear
Why she hankers to buy out each store.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo.
Thanks! And happy holiday shopping!
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose car had been towed…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Pigheaded Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose car had been towed
Freaked out when he heard what he owed.
“Highway robb’ry,” he yelled.
Then he sued — price upheld,
Plus penalties — made him explode.
So he threatened to file an appeal,
Though his wife said, “Enough! Make a deal!”
He responded, “No way!
I simply won’t pay.
Let them keep my damn automobile.”
But then he was hit with a lien.
And his wife said, “You see what I mean?
End this now or perforce
I will sue for divorce.”
That’s what comes of the stubbornness gene.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
One of my most important duties is to keep you abreast of important holidays like National Vodka Day, National Punctuation Day, International Limerick Day, National Grammar Day, and the subject of today’s limerick: National Boss Day.
That’s right — our poor beleaguered bosses get their own holiday on October 16th:
National Boss Day — Who Needs It? (Limerick)
For a reason I don’t comprehend
Bosses get their own day — what a trend.
A national day
When our bosses hold sway?
How silly! Such nonsense must end.
(You can find more of my employment humor here.)
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who owned only one suit…
Here’s mine. (It’s a six-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Suitable Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who owned only one suit
Could afford many more with his loot.
But he hated to wear’em
And just could not bear’em,
Which led to a workplace dispute.
The co that he worked for was sold.
“The new owner likes suits,” he was told.
“That’s too bad,” he replied.
“I just can not abide
Dressing up and I won’t be controlled.”
“Read my memo — now suits are a must,”
He was warned. “You must look upper crust.”
He replied, “Won’t comply!”
“Then I bid you goodbye,”
Said the buyer, with scorn and disgust.
“But wait, there’s a suit that I like,”
He responded. “I won’t take a hike.
It’s a suit of this sort:
I shall take you to court.
Watch your legal bills mount up and spike.”
The new owner refused to back down.
He assumed that the guy was a clown
Who never would sue.
That assumption, he’d rue.
He soon learned that this “clown” owned the town.
Yes, he worked just for fun — that’s the hitch.
He missed working — it gave him an itch.
So he did file that suit
And won even more loot.
Then he bought out the co. Ain’t that rich?
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
And if you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Caffeinated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
He’s addicted, alas, to the bean.
Not to coffee or tea—
Cappuccino, you see,
Is his weakness, at prices obscene.
As his drinks climb past five bucks a pop,
He keeps trying and failing to stop.
He decided last week
It was high time to seek
A solution — went online to shop.
As he browsed. he found makers galore
At an Internet kitchenware store.
So he bought one — now brews
His own drinks — he can’t lose,
Although now he is credit card poor.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
You are currently browsing the archives for the Money & Finance Humor category.