An Upset Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

But I’m trying something a bit different this time: One of your limericks will be anointed Limerick Of The Week. How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week in next week’s Limerick-Off post. And that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was very upset…


A woman was very upset…

Here’s mine:

Upset Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was very upset.
He was fretting and filled with regret.
He’d followed a tip
To invest in a ship,
Then discovered the tip was all wet.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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45 Responses to “An Upset Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. A fellow was very upset
    When he purchased a classic Corvette
    He was looking for kicks
    Out on Route 66,
    But he can’t afford gasoline yet

  2. jesse levy says:

    A fellow was very upset
    about one girl he just couldn’t get.
    So he started Facebook
    but was still such a schnook.
    He was gross but just look at his net (worth).

  3. Versebender says:

    An Unfortunate Slip of the Tongue

    A fellow was very upset
    About words he had come to regret
    Like calling her Dee
    When her name was Marie
    In the heat of a passionate sweat

  4. Ron Mardix says:

    A fellow was very upset
    Online he did meet a brunette
    When they kissed at her door
    He but fell to the floor
    Her male package he’d never forget

    — Catherine and Ron

  5. Catherine says:

    A woman was very upset
    She met a young man on the Net
    He kissed her goodnight
    And had a real fright
    Her package, he felt, was a threat

    ~Ron & Catherine

  6. Veralynne Pepper says:

    A woman was very upset
    Her dry cleaning wasn’t ready yet
    She waited a while
    Nude, but without guile
    You should’ve seen all the looks she could get!

    It was a protest for promises broken
    This time written, not only spoken
    She hoped someone would ask
    She was prepared for the task
    But desire for reasons were not what was awoken.

    The barber across the street was amused
    He’d lost some customers and was confused
    They had all enjoyed the show
    Of his bad cuts he said, “It’ll grow”
    But return visits they all refused.

    Once dressed in her fresh duds she left,
    Hurrying to the showing, bereft.
    It was her black suit, you see,
    She had somewhere to be!
    It was the funeral of that friend with the cleft.

    (Oh, brother! LOL!)

  7. Bob Kennedy says:

    A fellow was very upset
    With his little toy Star Wars doll set
    His Lando Calrissian
    ‘s in near-mint condition;
    Why did he not buy Boba Fett!?

  8. Lynn S. says:

    A woman was very upset…
    After hearing of the national debt.

    She learned of twisted congregational spending and more
    So much bad news she fell to the floor

    And sat in a stupor as she contemplated the wreck
    Of the great nation her forefathers had died to protect

    Oh, the horror, of 400 people holding more than 50% of the nation’s monies.
    More than 80% of the new profits going to less than 1% of the rich honeys.
    Learning of how these thieves had gotten hold of our cash
    And how they were continuing to help make the market crash
    And getting paid big bonuses to sell us all down the river
    Caused her to get a wee bit of a shiver.
    Of how our leaders fought wars which murdered the innocent
    To gain minerals and oil which they held omnipotent.
    Of how companies have outsourced the blood of the nation
    And paid no taxes while the rest of us lived on starvation
    How the unemployment rate has jumped to the skies
    Of how bankers stole lands and homes through deception and Lies
    How the FDA teamed up with big drug companies like Merks
    To poison the people for profits and perks
    And now how Monsanto’s own CEO is top adviser to them
    And will he now will usher in Genetically Modified Terminator Seed Crops and even Salmon
    That have been proven to jump species and destroy all they touch
    While after harvest How current GMO crops were causing the diabetic Obesity crisis and such

    How CPS stole children for profit and gain
    And propagated sadness, suicides, and pain.
    It all seemed too much to bear all at once
    She tried to tell her friends, but they called her a conspiracy dunce.

    She turned on the news, looking for Hope,
    But all she got was Paris Hilton type drivel and a child rapist loving Pope.
    All this made her determined to try
    To make things right, by and by
    But just then the phone rang by her hear
    And she heard the doctor’s words tell her the words all women fear.
    The biopsy was back, it showed malignant cancer attack, and
    Death would come soon, ere the next full moon.
    And so, sad and morose she grew resigned
    To leave this world so corrupted and maligned
    With a smile on her lips and a prayer in her heart
    That heaven would bring her bliss, and a fresh start.

  9. Lee Magilow says:

    A fellow was very upset
    Respected by no one he met
    Asked, “Who’s pulling your strings?”
    Said, “I know not those things,
    I’m only a marionette.”

  10. Sally Franz says:

    A fellow was very upset
    He’d just lost a huge horse bet
    He’d put a thou. on Seersucker
    But she was too tuckered
    She’d been rode hard and put up wet

  11. Daisy Mae says:


    A fellow was very upset
    He can’t speak without making a threat
    The shine’s off the Sheen
    Charlie’s just way too mean
    TWO MEN will gain viewers, I’ll bet!

  12. scott says:

    A woman was very upset,
    cuz she hadn’t reached orgasm yet.
    She was just disbelievin,
    that the a-hole was leavin,
    ‘twas a date she would rather forget.

    A fellow was very upset,
    So he lit up a weird cigarette.
    Some folks call it dope,
    but it sure helps him cope,
    with things he would like to forget.

  13. Vivek Banerjee says:

    A fellow was very upset,
    Cause the gal he had met
    Had called up his wife
    And the resultant strife
    Had left his pants all wet.

  14. Jingle says:

    well penned upset entry,


  15. madkane says:

    These limericks are great fun! Thanks, and please keep them coming.

  16. Lynn S. says:

    “A fellow was very upset
    At being denied his Rights as a Vet
    He had lost his limb serving in an Oil War he Cannot Forget
    Visions of tragedies and lifeless eyes haunt him Yet.
    Fed up with it all He took a Jet & traveled to a Thailand town named Phuket.”

  17. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was very upset
    When he purchased a snake as a pet.
    The snake bit his wife
    And ended her life.
    “Was she bitter?” he asked with regret.

  18. Daisy Mae says:

    A woman was very up-set
    When match point caused demands for a vet
    A foot faulting Serena
    Tantrummed the arena
    With insults, hurled racquets and threats

    ‘Twas the Open of 2009
    That caused Williams’ words to malign
    It’s awful, although
    She’s no MacEnroe
    His meltdowns were outside the line

  19. earlybird says:

    A fellow was very upset
    to find he was deeply in debt.
    He accused his wife,
    who brandished a knife
    and laughed as he started to sweat.

  20. Oops, I’m late!

    A fellow was very upset
    and he rushed from the room in a pet.
    His wife was amused
    and tried to excuse
    him for flipping, for being so wet.
    but the vicar responded “no sweat.”

  21. Elaine Spall says:

    A fellow was very upset
    That his parrot got sick at the vet
    When his bird came back silent
    The man got quite violent
    And issued the Dr a threat

    Now Dr, both you and your nurse
    Must remove from my Polly this curse
    Now start working real quick
    Make her better, not sick
    Or you’ll go for a ride in a hearse

    Said the vet who was now quite afraid
    Why it seems a mistake has been made
    I had two birds, both cute
    One was chatty, one mute
    I’ll just switch them for service unpaid!

  22. bendedspoon says:

    A woman was very upset
    Enough to grit her teeth
    She’s now ready for the battle
    With the fats that dangle
    It’s about time to get fit!

  23. Hansi says:

    A fellow was very upset
    Bout his lady, who he couldn’t get wet
    Try as he may
    With every roll in the hay
    She’d only ask, “aren’t we done yet”

  24. Bill Tracy says:

    A fellow was very upset
    To Japan his cap was set
    He went back to Nantucket
    Where his heart was still stuck-et
    And a proper limerick is set

  25. Bill Tracy says:

    A fellow was very upset
    His needs were completely unmet
    But back to the bar
    It wasn’t too far
    And he brought home a new girl Annette

  26. Bill Tracy says:

    A woman was very upset
    By a man she barely met
    She went a-sprawling
    As he was a-brawling
    With a tailor named Taylor on a bet

  27. fiveloaf says:

    you are so talented in this! here’s my potluck.. cheesecake

  28. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and limericks. And please keep those limerick coming. Thanks!

  29. Laurie Kolp says:

    A fellow was very upset,
    Someone keyed his pristine Corvette.
    “I’ll find you,” he roared.
    Words others ignored,
    “Twas you, silly louse; end your threat!”

  30. Catherine says:

    A woman was very upset
    She swallowed a worm on a bet
    It started to squirm…
    Then became rather firm
    T’was something she’d NEVER forget!

  31. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was very upset
    And filled with remorse and regret
    That, instead of The Times,
    His limerick rhymes
    Appeared in the local Gazette.

  32. Oh, Madeleine, you wicked conjurer of limericks, I love this challenge! Amy Barlow Liberatore


    A woman was very upset
    She let her friends make her a bet
    With little affinity
    She lost her virginity
    But gained a herpetic regret

    © 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

  33. Lynn S: Though your limerick is more of an epic poem, I applaud your stating of the facts of our national – and now global – crisis. The Proverb is often misused, “Money is the root of all evil.” The correct sentence is, “THE LOVE of money is the root of all evil.”

    Cogent commentary on our times… courtesy of the Old Testament. So Lynn, know that I’m right on board with you. Hope to read more of your writings. Please visit my blog:
    Sharp Little Pencil

    Peace, Amy Barlow Liberatore

  34. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was very upset.
    He’d climbed mountains in highest Tibet,
    Taken loans without fear
    To pay Sherpas, buy gear.
    Now he can’t climb his mountain of debt.

  35. Edmund Weisberg says:

    A fellow was very upset
    Having just gotten a get.
    So, he took a cruise
    With hundreds of Jews
    To replace his wife or just forget.

  36. Kavita says:

    poor chap… :)

    A woman was very upset
    For her ire, she needed an outlet
    She opened the door
    For her worries to pour
    But in walked her aunt Margaret


  37. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was very upset.
    He took his sick fox to the vet.
    The fox wasn’t foxy.
    He’d swallowed epoxy.
    His statue is standing there yet.

  38. madkane says:

    I’m really enjoying these. Please keep your limericks coming. I won’t be picking Limerick Of The Week until sometime on Sunday. So you have plenty of time to submit your verse. Thanks!

  39. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was very upset.
    He cried “Take it easy, my pet!”
    When he saw that his wife
    Who was wielding a knife
    Planned to show him a slice of life yet.

  40. Granny Smith says:

    A woman was very upset
    She could once do a neat pirouette.
    She died while still raging
    She’d lost it with aging.
    She spins in her grave even yet.

  41. Granny Smith says:

    I hope that you’re not upset
    For me piling on more of these yet.

    A fellow was very upset
    When he fell from his corporate jet.
    While plunging toward Hell
    He pulled out his cell
    Telling friends he’d not meet with them…yet.

  42. madkane says:

    Granny, how could I be upset? Your limericks are a delight!

  43. gwbieb says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    With a verse to evaluate
    His poem unfit to be printed
    Unless you wear glasses tinted
    Besides which it was second rate

  44. gwbieb says:

    A woman was terribly late
    With her monthly time to menstruate
    She felt much too young
    For a daughter or son
    Also father-to-be was jail-bait

  45. madkane says:

    Gary, these are fun, but I believe you meant to post them here on my Late Limerick. Feel free to re-post them there, if you’d like to. Thanks!